Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Oh Emo

I didn't realize how whiny I sounded about my relationships until I listened to this kid at work. I say "kid" but he's near 40 years old.

The conversation started out with him telling me he was dumped by a girl he liked. Okay...how long you guys been dating? Oh, we were never dating. You can't be dumped if you weren't even going out. As I'm told.

Uh-huh.

Now he tells me he had a nervous breakdown over the weekend over writing a mean email and sending it to her. What a dumb motherfucker. You know what? I would've done the same thing...if I were 18. Nope, this stunted knob just doesn't get it. Even after he admitted she'd blocked him and felt he was a stalker.

He doesn't believe he's a stalker. I told him it's a criminal offense. His reponse "where's the evidence?" This is not what a non-stalker says, by the way. So, deputy Dumbshit whom I now refer to as a "narcissistic dickbag" continues his futile pursuit of a girl that doesn't want anything to do with him. Since...they first met.

Cue the Morrissey.

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