"The Princess Bride" We Really Didn't Know

I was listening to the commentary on this. It was William Goldman who has long since coined the idea that no one in Hollywood knows anything. We can assume and guess, but it is as dumb as an investment to make movies as there possibly is. A machine like comic book flicks, yeah, that makes sense. But that doesn't mean they're good movies. In fact, most of them suck. We're given these films because that's the only above 10% we can marginally believe will be a hit. When there's no other choices...well...

"The Princess Bride" was considered, at the time, a marginal movie. It was completely funded by Norman Lear by a tiny company called Castle Rock. The budget for the movie was $16 million dollars. Done today, with the CG it would be three times as much. AND, that doesn't include star salaries. In 1985, the idea of casting Robin Wright & Cary Elwes, complete unknowns at the time was insane. But for a small company, it was all they had. Listen, the book was a small hit. This was in 1973 when it was first written. It lingered for a while. People like Norman Jewison was tapped to direct it. I don't think it'd be nearly as fun. They got Rob Reiner, who had TWO credits. "This is Spinal Tap" and "The Sure Thing." The sensibility of him and the material of Goldman's material were pitch perfect. This movie is STILL funny. In its bizarre, often sidetracked sense of humor. This was "Shrek" before "Shrek" was "Shrek."

When it was released, it pretty much broke even. The powers that be had no clue as to how to market the movie. It was a comedy-adventure-action-romantic-fairy-tale. Common now, unheard of in the mid-80's. It was the advent of VHS that this movie took off. And now after many generations, it's a classic. Which is hilarious considering Rob Reiner had gone on record saying how he didn't want it to become "...like 'Wizard Of Oz'" a reference to how "Wizard..." was a marginal movie that now is a classic.

We don't know shit in this town. We can only make as good of a movie as we can. And, unfortunately, sometimes even that isn't enough. I think the trick to this is to maintain a level of indifference while holding onto a small glimpse of hope. The general population constantly shocks me as to what it will go to see. And others that have zero interest. "Let's Be Cops" destroyed box office expectations. I'm sure those people are counting their lucky stars. Where it goes wrong is when they set out to grab that supposed lighting in a bottle twice. Big mistake. Or is it? Who fucking knows? Did "Hot Tub Time Machine" need a sequel. How well did that do?

Entertainment & Interracial Relationship

Get ready folks. Cause it's the newest thing.
Not sure why. Not sure how other studios get wind of each other. But damn if this isn't the new trend. And I'm reporting it first because it's fascinating to see how far we've gotten with pressing the envelope. Or some would believe, pushing the nerve of middle America.

A new movie came out called "Focus" which stars Will Smith and Margot Robbie. Although half his age, blonde, blue-eyed swimsuit model would fall for grifter Smith. This has touched a nerve with Americans who feel like it wasn't an issue until a light was shone on it. Focused, if you excuse the pun. In fact, the billboard art has Margot with her arm around Will, clearly in some sexy sexi-fied nature. To which a lot of people have taken a slight offense to it. It's clearly meant to be antagonistic. As is "Body Of Lies." This one has...Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell. Again, an older black man with a blonde blue-eyed girl. That takes it one step further and has her biting his ear. A clear indication these two are intimate.

This to me, is something of a change in our environment. I like that it's no longer an issue with that visual of black on blonde. When you consider not but 20 years ago, this was still seen as a disturbing image.

Some of you may be thinking why it draws my attention so much. It's because I'm stuck in fucking L.A. traffic, with nothing to look at. Fuckers.

Anyway, I also think it's maybe the sign of the times, that maybe white America may be accepting the dynamics of relationships now. And that the stigma of race relations aren't as dire as reported. And that, we may even find out the Black community taking more offense to this then the Caucasian community. Very fascinating stuff.

"Love & Mercy: desperate measures

I probably shouldn't tell this story. Not because it's salacious. But because it may be stupid.

It was early morning in Hollywood. The production of "Love & Mercy" the new movie coming out this summer with Paul Dano & John Cusack and Elizabeth Banks. I'd transferred some early footage from the day before. It was a studio scene that had the Beach Boys recording in a studio. To which a lens flare had been fogging up the filmed footage. I thought it was part of the effect. Colorist alerted the production which alerted the key people. That would be producer, director and cinematographer Robert Yeoman. I have an ENORMOUS respect for Robert Yeoman, because he is a filmmaker. He shoots on film.

They were called in an emergency to view the dailies. Unbeknownst to me, the colorist was about a few hours before he was scheduled to show. The operations manager, in full panic, hurried me into a coloring bay to play the footage. This is where it becomes foggy. I've never operated their system. If it were Final Cut or Apple Color or Resolve, I could fumble my way around. This was a coloring system I'm less than familiar with. I walked into the dark theater, and set up what I believed to be the footage. I scrubbed towards what I thought was the image. That's when I heard it. Footsteps. Followed by chatter. Which is when the three people filed in. Producer, director and Robert Yeoman. I froze in my chair.

...already keyed up from their time of shooting down the street on Sunset, these people had to pry their time away from the shoot to review an issue. Operated by me, who knew just enough to skate by. So what happens. Button pushing. A click here a dial spin there. Footage rolls. And they see the scene and the issue. And something happens when people look at footage. They see the problems. Not just the big problems. They see ALL problems. So Robert chimed up and asked me to boost it a bit (we'd just given them a projection color, which is a default). I kinda' searched my brain. Turned a dial. And something happened. Not sure what. But it changed the image. To which Robert said "no, no...more contrast." He wasn't angry or impatient. He was focused. That's when the director spoke up and said that they didn't have time to mess with it. Saw what they needed to see, and scheduled with the producer to re-shoot this segment. I slumped into my chair as they filed out. Before they left, Robert turned back to me, shook my hand and thanked me. I'm sure he saw the fear on my face. And I just couldn't get the words out that one of the most influential movies of my life was "Drugstore Cowboy" for which he shot. And he was nominated this year for "The Grand Budapest Hotel" for which I think he was robbed of the cinematography Oscar.

That was amazing.
"Love & Mercy" trailer

The Insecurity Of Story

When I was in film school I wrote some insane concepts. My ideas flowed like sand. I had zero fear of what was down because I didn't know what was good or bad. I knew I could get the feedback of my fellow filmmakers. Nowadays, people are too busy, too involved in their own projects or just plain don't give a fuck. Back in the day, that's all we had.

So it's hard to find some people who will sit down with you and develop your script. Near impossible, it seems like. Or people you trust that can give you input. Most are in their own world. I found some who I've consulted really are ignorant to what is good story. I am one of those people. I'm glad people haven't given me pitches to their own ideas. I'd be bad at it, because sometimes the topic doesn't interest me. This becomes a mad dash to making something that you can eventually lord over others. Yes, I'll say it, since others think it but don't. The moment when your project transcends others who want to do what you do is sublime. That feeling that you are validated by a group of your peers for crafting genius is addicting. Which is why I think Clint Eastwood still does it. I'm convinced he will die if he were not able to tell his stories anymore.

There's a story in the 70's. Coppola & Lucas use to scream box office receipts at each other driving past each other in Northern California. I think at the time, Coppola had made "The Rain People" & for Lucas, it was "American Graffiti." Lucas won that war, we've now see. "Star Wars" demolished anything Coppola has ever done (box office wise). Coppola destroyed Lucas in terms of artistic merit in the "Godfather" movies. Both have created long lasting imprints on film. This conflict is good. And creates amazing stories. I think our generation lacks this type of friendly combatants. We live in a society where everyone gets a trophy. We skate on people's egos. And don't want to rock the boat. I wish I had that. But, I've no peers. That's not to say I sit atop a mountain. Quite the opposite, I've no one who really shares this passion as much anymore. Most have quit. Others...refuse to do this legwork. It's a painful journey, that I wouldn't wish anyone drag their families into. A lone wolf perpetuates this competition. Imagine if you had a kick ball and no one to roll it to.

And now I have a production script I'd like to kick around and no one to help flesh out what needs to be done for emotional impact. Do I have faith in the story? Yes. Do I want others to see the potential? Yes. But I also want them to dissect and ask questions. The way I think that Zoetrope crew had back in the 70's. I wish I had a mentor like Hal Ashby or John Schlesinger. I know they'd be harsh but fair. I think back at all these commentaries during the making of "Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid." Young bucks. With director George Roy Hill & legendary screenwriter William Goldman. Just the faith and confidence these two went into the movie with. I want that.

"Selma" Common & John Legend Speech

I actually had to look this up, because I knew it was going to be blow-hard and switched to another station. Here's an exerpt:

"There are more black men under correctional control than there were under slavery in 1850," Legend said. "When people are marching with our song, we want to tell you we see you, we love you and march on."

So you support criminals and criminal behavior?

Brothers, this is NOT a cop on Black issue. This is not a society on Black issue. This is a Black perception issue. They perceive to always be under the radar of the authorities. Dudes...cops hate EVERYONE. Because a small percentage of morons in this world created this. So now the police have to fight you, me, racism and crime?

Crime isn't because they want to throw Black folk in jail. You don't pull shit, you don't get shit. It's that simple. The case of Michael Brown wouldn't have been on the radar had the kid NOT been harassing a shop owner and stealing. Is that ever brought up? Nope. Never addressed in the Black community because that would be weakening their stance of having YOU change and not the other way around.

The Japanese were once seen as enemies of the state. They were interred in concentration camps ON AMERICAN soil. If you were to ask George Takei (yes, "Star Trek" Takei) who was interred there what it was like. He only has grim memories. They took land from Japanese-Americans and re-distributed it. Unbelievable gall. To which the Japanese eventually rose above it, and now thrive. The "perception" of Japanese has changed dramatically over the course of 50 years. The same 50 and more that black African slaves were allocated. Yet, they still wallow in this pity. Fuck you, Common and Legend. YOU are basically giving all young Blacks an excuse if something doesn't go your way. "Oh, it's the incarceration system that keeps you down." You are the WORST. Because you've essentially crippled their minds while leaving a smoke screen of philosophy of the down trodden. This is all while you accept The Man's golden statue in a tuxedo. FUCK YOU BOTH. Moments like these are what keep Black Americans down. But don't let me say these things, less I be labeled a bigot.

Never mind the statistics of a lack of need and want for an education to further your life in more positive ways. The message should be this:"There are more black men under correctional control than there were under slavery in 1850," Legend said. "This is OUR fault. And I'm ashamed of y'all. We did this to ourselves because we can't recognize the wretchedness of our own actions. We can't blame society because our education system is broken. WE are broken people. Rise up against our own pride and anger. Use it to fuel our desire to do better in life. NEVER say we don't get opportunities when I stand here with this award and have overcome." It's not a popular sentiment amongst angry young Black men. But the truth has to sink in somewhere.

"Birdman" won Best Picture

I can go into a really long rant about how this straight to video movie won. But I'm not. Only to say one thing...if I don't like the result, I have to make something better or shut my fucking mouth about it. Which I intend to.

What I will say, after reading some topics about last night's events, is that it was a very lackluster show. Maybe it's my perception of movie awards. Or that I am still stuck in the past, but...didn't Oscars use to be about movies? This was about a lot of politics. I popped in and out and there were just too much going in terms of we black, we brown, we white, we mental, we...fill in your affliction. The podium became about getting your message out.

I HATE IT!

Get your award for a job you are overpaid for and get off the fucking stage. You make movies. Your stance on inequality can be posted in any other forum, but you take the moment to talk about Mexican causes or women causes or whatever. This is stupid! I would surmise you've pissed off 3/4 of America. But that isn't exactly your demographic is it? Let me give you an example...

Let's say I win a Caesar in France. I then give an impassioned speech about how great America is, and that there should be more American films made in France. What do you think they'd say? They'd shut that shit down faster than you could say "sacre le bleu!" I guess this to be the reason most American movies are thrown into the wood chipper in France.

So take your fucking award and be happy American film industry recognized you.

Those Kodak Moments

Why do we take photographs of our life’s events? If it’s to re-live memories than I sometimes believe it’s a waste of time. I realize that by the time I was in college until just last year, I’d remained in different stages of inebriation. And there were photo taken of some of these event. To which, if you held a car battery to my nuts, I couldn’t recall even being there. Great images. And the people in the photos seemed to be having fun. One even looks like me. But nothing. It’s actually numbing because you think you’ll remember these things but you don’t. And therein lies the frustration.

My memory is terrible now. Because I sobered up, my body and mind is rewiring itself right now and seem to dump a lot of excess baggage. This included the sickening feeling of people who’ve fucked me over in life. It’s like your internet search history. When you clear your history, you clear everything. You can’t just pick and choose. There are elements of high school I recall. A few in college and in graduate school. The most part, the feelings and emotions attached to places and moments have vanished. I have a sense I should feel something but I don’t. And it’s painful. I think.

I friend had suggested that it is my mind slowly allowing the uncomfortable world back a bit at a time instead of dropping an anvil at one time. It’s self preservation. Had all those emotions flooded back at once, I’d have killed myself. That surge would’ve leveled me and I’d more than likely throw up. I think that’s why I do feel queasy on daily basis now. Sometimes to a point of fainting. My head swims. My body aches (longer than it should). Weight training has faltered a LOT (but I still go and do what I can). And I am holding onto heftier weight. Atop all this, I am reminded by photos of who I once was. I think I miss those moments. I think they were great. But it’s a shadow. Saw my old apartment in college in one photo. It was me washing dishes. I was so proud of that place, even though it was a total dump. It was my first apartment I ever got alone outside of the dorms. I lived on my own. And it was amazing (I think). I cooked, at the time, I considered gourmet meals. I’d have dinner parties. In fact, I have a video of me and my girlfriend at the time, drinking wine with friends. I’m totally drunk and making prank phone calls. Keep in mind, internet was really new and barely dented college campuses.

I hold photos in my mind, thinking I’d remember things. Have you also noticed the dwindling power of hard copies of photos? I mean the ones you put in an album. That will be the next to die. Then our memories. I wonder if it matters to anyone anymore. It doesn’t seem like it. I think people don’t like to be reminded of the past. And living in it, doesn’t give you a chance to change it. Only your perspective of it. Unless it’s sitting around for which the past will always be in your crawl. It seems like that with the stuff around me. It’s shadows of someone’s place. I think I get the sense of what someone with Alzheimer’s must feel. Frustrating that something you once loved deeply and can intellectually feel that love, yet don’t hold that emotion over you anymore. Maybe that’s why the grip on the past is so 

 tenuous. It’s my mind forcing me to let it go when it’s been anchoring me down for so long. It’s saying “it’s time to not feel those things anymore.” I have been watching a lot of movies lately. Maybe it’s my way to live in someone else’s history while I wait for mine to catch up.

Gay Hollywood Money

The more I am in this town, the more I see that there is a lot to be said about gay Hollywood money. There is a society here which people refer to as the "Velvet Mafia." They are homosexual and they run a lot of the movie business.

Yeah, not a big surprise. But if you are a dude and want to make it here, it would help you greatly if you sidled up to these guys. You don't have to take one in the ass, but it's not a bad idea to maybe pretend like you will. If you think about movie stars, directors and so forth, you notice a few things. There are very few female directors. The ones who are tend to be spirited fighters. Borderline men. They make men movies. The ones that come to mind are Kathryn Bigelow, Anne Fletcher, Niki Caro. These are tough broads. In Kathyn's case, she had Iron Jim Cameron to back her when the mafia would've drummed her out of the business. If you look at post production, it's usually old white guys with Tommy Bahama shirts. Yes, the occasional immigrant makes it in this area, but for the most part, it's a boy's club for Caucasians and Asians (shit...they still need IT). I'm not being glib here, it's just an observation. I can tell you from some experience, these people in post are angry with little senses of humor about the industry. Most of us make really inappropriate jokes about the homosexuals, which is telling as none of us have really made an impact in movies. Anywhere. And don't see it in our future.

Trust me, I've no bitterness to the rainbow ceiling. I'd rather hold onto my dignity than to fold into this type of game. Plus, I promised my Ma I wouldn't catch "The Gay." She's really PC like that. But if you intend to work and make it to the big time here in Hollywood, you may ask yourself how important fame is. Tom Cruise is a star for a reason. He may not be gay, but he's definitely put in his queer time with the powers that be (David Geffen).

The gays have a lot of money and a lot of pull. And quite frankly, they make the town nicer. They tend to be smart, have great tastes in decor and don't mince words when it comes to how they feel about you. And in some odd sense, it's better like this. Gays tend to be ambitious when it comes to gentrifying neighborhoods. They up your property value. Make it safer to walk at night. Unless you're in West Hollywood. Once had a lesbian practically crawl into my car as my friend (in passenger side) had to press her face from the window. She was drunk off her ass and just...seemed to feel like seeing what we were up to, I guess. But this is an isolated moment. And, something about the whole odd affair was almost endearing. Young cute lesbian girls can do this. Straight frat boys seem to have a rape-y thing to it.
Just an observation.

The Older Actress

I've been looking at women from the 1960's who would now be in the 60's & 70's for this role in a short film I wrote. These are women I had enormous crushes on when I was in my 30's. Beautiful sex kittens then, a bit...rough now. I wonder...how exactly do I approach them about playing a character who is essentially lived her life and made bad decisions and ultimately came out the end...vindicated yet still exists in a drug induced fog. It's not roles many women this generation find flattering.

Among the women I have looked at Joey Heatherton. The only reason her name popped up was that she was mentioned by Moe in "The Simpsons." She is stunning when she was in her 20's. But a hard life has made her look a bit defeated by life. It's not bad, since we all are going to be there someday. But for this role, there still has to be the redemptive part. I don't know if she has this quality anymore. I think she just wants to disappear. There is an interesting anecdote about her ex-husband was found with a teenager. He was a professional football player. I think this sent her sideways.

Joey Heatherton

I researched Joanna Cassidy. Coincidentally, I was just watching "Northern Exposure" again when she popped up in a guest appearance as a deep woods tomboy-ish under-sexed lumberjack who's husband had just died and had to accompany Maurice & Holling to bury him in the outskirts of Alaska. She is hilarious. And I think she would have the quality I'd like. Except...I doubt she wants to play this troubled of a person. I recall her being in "Blade Runner" where she man-handles Harrison Ford and shows off her amazing body. To note: she still has that amazing body.

Speaking of "Northern Exposure" I considered Janine Turner as well. She is a beauty. But digging a little deeper, she is somewhat of a insane right winger. Usually when someone in Hollywood is this way they are ostracized by the liberal community. Really unfair since she's incredibly talented. One gets the feeling that the "liberal wackos" within the entertainment business turned her this way. Or her Texas background. Either way, it may be difficult considering most of whom I recruit from Los Angeles tend not to tolerate conservatives. I also get the feeling that the plot line of having a prescription medication abuse issue may not sit well with her political position.

And the list goes on...

...but I hope you get my point. Casting for this age group...I'm not certain what the diplomatic approach would be. A few years back a producer friend once told me "Don't ever put that the character is "aging" or "old"...older actors HATE this."

I'm not sure why. It's not like they'll be fresh faced sex kittens. I think they should embrace it.

Photography Is Not Art

There I said it.
Photography isn't art. It's a craft. Painting is art. Drawing is art. Photography captures this. It became less of an art once it hit digital cameras. That is definitely terrible craft.

Why? Because it's a capture of time and space. The instrument used to capture seems to be focused more on the operator than the shooter. I think of someone like Ansel Adams who is religiously seen as the father of the zone system of photography. This is a formula considered by most now as a standard. I don't think art should be a formula. In fact, we spend a shitload of time trying to kill formulas. Yes, it's a great tool for starting out, but it quickly becomes a crutch.

I hear there is a lot of grumbling between those who choose the right time of day with the right light to shoot. And that...God forbid, they never use artificial light. What bothers me is that these are the same people who have models pose in the most ridiculous ballet stances or nude in some diorama...and yet they grouse about artifice. Really?

Photography is a narcissist's medium. It does more for the photographer than the model. We know what pretty is. Nature created it. Makeup enhances. Light hides or embellishes. But there is no art there. The artists are the production designers or the makeup people and the costumers. We're just lucky to have a camera with a nice lens. Also, those who don't do their own retouching...you're just a button pusher. And if it's your way to do business, then you'll more than likely to be successful. But you're going to miss out on the true craft.

Hollywood Boulevard & Oscar

As you drive down Cahuenga, a side street that eventually turns into Highland into Hollywood, California, you see a traffic sign on the side of the road announcing that the road will be closed on February 22nd. The tents are already up and Hollywood Blvd. is cordoned off from what looks like Orange Avenue to Highland. This is where the Dolby theater is where they host the Oscars.

I watch the show when I can. More than likely, very little of it interests me anymore. Mostly because the awards they hand out are kinda' dumb. And I'm hardly an expert when it comes to sound design, or sound mixing or visual effects. It just all looks like people spent a ton of time on it to make things look real but oftentimes are met with "it looks SO fucking fake." Yeah, because it is fake. Visual effects without story is stupid. So in essence we're back to story. A good story with VFX to back it up, makes it a nomination for best visual FX? Not really, just meant you were the cheapest around that the producers found. Very few FX houses guide the story, in terms of what can be done and what can't.

Costume design always got to me too. You can't have good costumes unless you have a good story to have costumes with? And who knows what's good costumes. If done right, very little of that is really noticed. Same with VFX. Same with cinematography. It all boils down to story. Yet...screenwriters get so much shit. As far as being considered "above the line" (a term used to determine worker bees from office bees really) writers are just at the basement of above the line. Some (if they don't direct their own projects) would even be seen as lower than line producers. In the sense that they are usually uninvited to the shoot. Who needs a writer on set to second-guess things? And it also makes most actors nervous.

I stand by my conviction that there should only be two Oscars given out. Best Picture and Best Screenplay (the fuck is there one for adapted? A screenplay is a screenplay).

That is...until I win one for cinematography.

What You Can Learn From Brandi Glanville

Brandi Glanville is a "Real Housewives..." celeb. She also hosts her own podcast about everything that goes on in her bubblehead. It's unfiltered. Which means she says STUPID shit. In fact, she's getting sued now for claiming Joanna Krupa has a smelly vagina. I can't believe they give away this shit for free. She's a plastic mess of a person, which she proudly admits to. Bad botox'd face. But a lot of fun to listen to.

Anyway, I listen to her podcast for a few reasons.
1) it's good to hear middle age woman perspective. Because desperate angry people are just...funny
2) especially if she was hot one time in her life and now an aging angry hag
3) who constantly pines that there are no good guys in L.A.
4) but refuses to acknowledge that maybe it's her and not the guy

One of her constant loops is how there aren't any good guys in Los Angeles. No there are. They just don't meet YOUR standards. Although she says she takes the flaws, it's more like she's one of us guys. We will let shit behavior fly because the chick is hot. She lets things go because the guys she dates are hot. She claims her single friends (her age, 42) are constantly without a guy. That they make their own money, have a level head and strive for family.

Yeah, they have to come to realize you are all cunty messes. Because they compete with each other to make the other person jealous instead of being happy for themselves. This might include giving the occasional not handsome guy a chance. Fuck that noise. It's easier to complain.

I'm not going to front. We're the same way. I lament the two hot blondes I let go (or rather they got sick of looking at me and dumped me without as much as a notice). I don't complain there aren't any women out there...I just move forth. A little angry, sure...but that's because I lost my trophies I couldn't parade around.

Why listen to Brandi Glanville? Because, as a fellow addict (for which she has yet to admit to her own alcoholism) they tend to say the most inappropriate things, much like Gilbert Gottfried (which this just comes natural). A functional drunk is fun...UNTIL they unleash themselves on you.

Murder-Suicide At Stevenson Ranch

I was dressing in the locker room at L.A. Fitness in Stevenson Ranch when I looked up to see on the television they had a murder-suicide. Beneath it, a chyron that read “Stevenson Ranch Murder Suicide.” Looking closer, it was a live broadcast from just outside the walls of the gym. Within the shopping plaza there was an army of news trucks reporting on a man who’d killed his wife and then himself the night before.

I knew something was off when I first entered the plaza. A convoy of trucks parked outside. I thought it was a movie being shot and thought nothing of it. The first news was watching it in the locker. One other guy was there when I shouted

“Hey, we’re on t.v.”

The guy next to me turned. Confused as to what I was saying.

“Look, we’re on t.v.”

He turned and watched it for a while. Shrugged. He certainly didn’t seem as shocked as I was. It was a LIVE feed of a news van outside of where we were pointed directly at the parking lot. In fact, you could see my car in the shot. This was going out to countless thousands. Untold millions online. Here I was, in the microscope of national news. And all the dude I told this to could do was shrug. I guess he’s seen it all. This was surreal.

To me, death is always bizarre. Imagine leaving your home one day and all the stuff you left at home is now embalmed in history once your life ends. What could people surmise from your life based on how you left it. I’d be ashamed. As I live alone, most likely my death would be lost on say…my landlord who would most likely keep harassing me for rent until they had to evict…a dead man. That is really weird to me.

I don’t like death so close to me. I know it happens. But a lot of people don’t really take into account what their actions do, and how reaching they become. Maybe there are people who never have to consider this. Someone died last night, and that’s all that is going to be written about that person. So many unresolved things. So many hanging dreams ended…just like that. Sorry for the grim blog.

New Beverly Cinema &

The New Beverly theater here in Los Angeles, California is a revival film house that plays 35mm film print and is owned by Quentin Tarantino. This is really awesome, since there are few places that play film print. There’s going to be a generation that doesn’t get to see this and I feel bad for them. Film print is glossy and has depth to which digital projection will never get to. What technicians don’t understand is that the flicker of film cells is like the flicker of firelight in a cave as you tell a story. This is natural to the rhythm of your own body. Funny how we spend so much time getting centered and calm we quickly dismiss the only visual representation of serenity. The REASON why you have so many douche-fucks use their phone in theaters these days is because it doesn’t hold anyone’s attention. Flickering is hypnotic.

New Beverly also plays older movies. I got to see my favorite movie of all time there (“The Apartment”). And I got to see my other favorite movie years ago (“Some Like It Hot”).  Beautiful print.

Whenever I go, there are fellow cinephiles. Film fans who watch film as rabidly cinema insane as myself. As I stand there, I start to get a level of contempt for some of these people. I’m not sure why. Maybe, it’s just the conversation that people have in line. It was the same when I was at a lighting/grip house buying equipment. Lots of young faces ,I guess, who want to be the next Tarantino. Film students. Teachers. Some production folk. They talk about miniscule projects whilst I bite my tongue having worked on yearly blockbusters.

I can assure you now…none have worked on the biggest movie of 2015. And it’s narcissistic of me to say, but…I feel a sense of superiority because I do work with film. Lucky to get that opportunity.  I’m scrubby so very few know the projects I work on. I’m under the impression that some of these folk probably do insignificant projects. Yeah, it’s cocky of me. And maybe it’s a little bit of the paranoid part of me. But I feel a lot more integrated into the business than most of them. More than likely, they believe I’m just a scrub. Can I just be happy that I work on these projects and let the others brag openly about their stupid projects? Yes. In fact, I should just worry about my next short movie. If I were to talk to others about my project I’m sure others would roll their eyes about how insignificant my little project would be. That’s the nature of the business. Today’s production assistant is tomorrow’s power producer. It only takes one project. To go up or down. Case in point:

I was listening to Bret Easton Ellis podcast with guest James VanDerBeek. He was Dawson on a hit show called “Dawson’s Creek.” After the success of that show and “Varsity Blues” he started to take chances on small projects that tested his range. He was in a Todd Solondz movie where he was sodomizing another guy (cut from movie) which led an executive to realize he could do “Laws Of Attraction.” Prior to that, he was in a project called “Texas Rangers” which went belly up. It lost so much money it knocked VanDerBeek off the short list of bankable stars. Keep this in mind, prior to that fiasco…he could say yes to a project and studios would throw $75 million into it. Now…they could barely launch “Laws Of Attraction” with his name attached. That was ONE project away. That’s how quickly you can be tossed into dumpster. Consider Will Smith and his constant paranoia about failures. “After Earth” nearly capsized his career, in spite of the fact that he’d been an insane money-maker since “Independence Day.” Shit, he was HUGE after “Bad Boys.” He was consistent and sturdy in the box office. ONE project after over a decade of hits turned him in poison. This is why stars get wishy washy about what they do. Not sure the logic behind it, but I guess people run like hell from bad juju. We’ll see how “Focus” does. Will Smith’s newest movie. I’m pretty sure it’s going to fail. A few things…it’s an interracial relationship they’re trying to play down in trailers (for which confuses people). Smith plays a cad. I think they want to see Smith play American hero. I hate to say it, but you should probably wrap him in an American flag as he blasts away aliens or illegal immigrants with a pulse rifle. The story looks confusing as fuck. Grifting is such a touchy weird subject. The last time it was even close to being interesting was a long forgotten movie called “Matchstick Men.” I’m sure the movie is going to be good, but it’s not going to make money. And, unfortunately, that’s all studios remember.

Happy Valentine's Day!

You can't really read sarcasm in writing. But I try.

Anyway, I hope y'all had a great Valentine's Day. The time when women feel both their best and their worst. I decided to go see "The Kingsman: Secret Service" a really fun goofy spy movie. Surprisingly, a 10:30 AM showing I was NOT expecting anyone. Lo and behold, it was a pretty crowded movie. Even more surprising...guys watching it alone.

Now, I'm not sure if this was the precursor to their VD events, but they seemed like me, hapless love losers who just needed to get their mind off being alone. Personally, I've gotten accustomed to being a lone wolf. In fact, I've actually embraced it. Women are batshit. They will make your life a living hell. I just recently found out a college chum of mine was the most recent to fall prey of the girlfriend turning him into a vegetarian bullshit that is now the new thing. Fuck that. What do you think your chocolates have in them? Lard, my guess.

Anyway, the VD thing, I recall giving my stripper girlfriend back in college roses. She didn't expect it. Just felt like she needed something to remind her she wasn't a whore. To which she dry-humped me outside the video store I worked at, reminding everyone in the parking lot, that she was a whore. I miss those days. She was so happy for one small thoughtful thing. I think, if truth be told, VD day just makes single angry women bitter and more angry. Especially since now we have social media, people broadcast what their significant other did. I get that the spirit is in the right place, but damn if it doesn't make a guy look bad. Mostly for not giving a flying shit.

Montana And the Killing Of a Trespasser

A man was recently convicted of a murder, and sent to prison which was essentially for life (70 years). The article pays very little attention to the fact that he was Asian and the dead guy was white (exchange student from Germany).

There has been little to no outrage or information. No marches. No riots. And within a few days, will most likely disappear. Personally, I think it's an injustice. Since the Asian guy was protecting his home when an intruder (this young man) was on his property. What he was doing there seems to be of very little consequence to the fact that there is a dead white guy on his driveway. Never mind that it was in a all-white town with an all-white jury. See what I did there? Turned it into race.

I think the news these days are really trying to get us to enflame each other and tear us apart. As humans. Why? Conflict sells. This is a non-story because the two parties involved and their ethnicities tend to conjure ZERO interest. To either cases. It seems, we get no news about this. Apparently Germany heard about his, and is outraged because of whatever details they get. We just heard about this because the sentence was handed down. That's it. No fire in the streets, looting or nothing. This doesn't effect my life in any way. It should, in terms of outrage (if you read the full story, the guy thought he was protecting his wife and kid). But that's their story. Seems strange that Muslim, Black or White turn tragic situations into cause worthy marches.

I guess it's only news when you can rile up a bigger population to create more news for you. Otherwise, we can just go about our day, waiting for the next black/white/Muslim conflict.

Addendum To Script Reading

I sent my short film to my sister Jenie. She's an avid reader. I figure she's very driven to read anything. Keeps herself really in the know of things, because she is off the grid. A hermit, some would say.

So the notes I got back were...that she glossed over it and if I didn't explain the time travel aspect, she'd been lost (nevermind that it's alternate universe). In others...she didn't read it. Then proceeded to pitch me an idea about her eccentric friend Amanda if I wanted to do a long suffering chick flick. Quite frankly, Amanda sounds like you'd want to murder her. Which is always good for film. NOT.

So here's what I gathered. My sister is a bitch. She knows it too. Proud of it. She doesn't mince words, nor does she ever let your yapping prevent her from adding her own thoughts. Usually they are incongruous to anything you just said. She really thinks you're that important. That's fine. I knew that going in. In fact, I was hoping she'd shed her own cloud on my project. Seeing that I've made a few movies, and she's made none. She is the perfect candidate for getting feedback.

Why?

Because she isn't supportive in the least. And that's good, because TOO many people blow shit into your ear. Don't get me wrong, she'll throw you a bone. Such as "that's unique and people like something different." But that has nothing to do with complete immersion. She is the audience you have to win over.

She is a writer herself. A good one too. She has a very acid way about her writing that if she ever applied herself, could be a female Bukowski. And I encourage her to put these thoughts in...at the very least, a blog. But she's content to let me read it. A very limited audience. I think as she is the first born, this idea that a creative endeavor isn't her cup of tea. Or that somehow she felt it to be more of a responsible person. She has creative outlets and I do try to include her into exercising it. Look at blogging and so forth. OR, possibly the more apt reason...she has thoughts and expressing them to the public is frightening.

I feel lucky to have someone who is so quick to dismiss my creation. Because if that person can get the core of what I'm going for down, I think the project will be great.

The 50's

I was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe as a kid. Kid meaning teens. Yeah, I don't care, call me a fag. She  was my idea of smoking sexy hot.

I think it had to do with my love of "Back To The Future." That movie was the essence of that time period. And they definitely played up the nostalgia. For a guy like me who grew up in idyllic midwestern Ohio suburbia, it was a comfort zone. As was Marilyn Monroe.

When you find out things about her later in life...you get a sense of sadness that she existed in this world. To the frustration of directors (if you do the research) who felt she was difficult to deal with. Who would be our equivalent today? Probably Lindsay Lohan. Monroe's alcoholism & drugs was legendary. She had a posse that kept her in both. And also kept her in a fog. I think because her reality was probably very traumatic. No one really reigns you completely in if you're stunning and have megawatt movie star power. Goddess on a Boticelli tableau.

She definitely didn't shy away from playing the helpless little girl lost role. Nowadays, someone like Lohan has so much media rammed down her throat, it's near impossible to be mysterious. People loathe this person because of her behavior. We've melded both fantasy and reality together. I think people are afraid of Lohan, where in Monroe's case, people wanted to help her.

The 50's were painted as such a fantasy. A time when there was very little worry in America. I think if you ask anyone who grew up during that time, they'd have a different story. Although, growing up in the 80's, which was a resurgence of the 50's, I got a sense it was looked at fondly. I like that era, because television and movies were just booming and it was great propaganda of Americana. I think that's why I like doing "vintage" style shooting. I can recreate that feeling again.

Murder On Chapel Hill: A Headliner Perspective

Not sure if this qualifies as political opinion, because I'm more into the ideology of journalistic integrity than the crime itself.

Here's what has been reported about the murder of three students who attended this school:

"Deah Barakat, 23, a second-year student in UNC's School of Dentistry, married Yusor Mohammad, 21, in December, and Mohammad planned to begin her dental studies in the fall, authorities said. Her sister, Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, was a sophomore at North Carolina State University."

The headline read "Three Muslim Students Shot"

I'm not sure what the agenda here is, but do we mention the fact that they are Muslim? It's weird right? Like...say for example students killed outside of the Skirball Center here in Los Angeles with their yamulkes on, we wouldn't say "Three Jewish College students." Would we? We'd bury that part. Actually, that's a bad example but you get the idea.

I find this to be really irresponsible journalism. To further the case...in the late 80's there was an HUGE society of middle Easterners who came to America and owned convenient store franchises. During this time, it was also a running joke they were held up and shot with such frequency it became a stereotype. Even to this day, we wouldn't get a headline that a middle eastern 7-11 store owner was shot and killed. It most certainly wouldn't say "Muslim 7-11 Owner Killed in Robbery." What world are we living in now where we desperately seek eyeballs on story (which, by the way, I need to come up with better headlines).

Heidi, The Make-Up Lady

EVERY single film set, every guy tries to hook up with the makeup girl. They are:
1) really hot
2) have a lot of free time to chat
3) flirtatious
4) fun and the most likely to be up for hooking up

Over a decade back, I recall one named Heidi. We'd faced long hours on a church set. It was grueling. Heidi was our makeup girl, hired by Lorin (the director). She was SMOKING hot. Buxom and tiny with cornsilk blonde hair and gentle green eyes. She easily could've been a model. She was also fresh off the makeup school boat. Really enthusiastic. And eager. With a touch of naivete.

Something happens on long shoots where people just start to "get" each other. The comedy gels and you just share a lot of similar patois. Heidi and I were like that. Sure I wanted to bang her. But, I valued her presence on set more than anything. We'd have jokes for one another. Talked shit about people. And I'd recall anecdotes of working on shitty projects. We became close enough. AND we ran into each other on four other student films.

I missed her being on sets. Even more than some of my immediate crew. Having an attractive crew member on set...focuses dudes. Some actresses HATE it (as was the case of this other short film I shot years later) because they aren't the center of attention. Others think it's a distraction. The second assistant camera person is most likely a girl. I think it's an unspoken film set thing. Every one I've ever seen was one. Then a 1st assistant camera person finally chimed up and told me, it's because they are usually the clapper/slate too. And most likely will show up in dailies. And we're a buncha' ugly fucks.

I learned later Heidi was married, and about to have a kid. I found her on Facebook recently...same smiling eyes. Beautiful face as ever. Gained about 50 pounds of weight and could give a shit. Movie business will blimp up women after they spit 'em out. I prefer the happier one after the fact then the miserable celery eating one during.

I don't recommend you hook up with make-up girls on movie sets. Unless you're just shooting for a few days. A feature length could lead to really bad blood and it's hard to escape. Especially on location.

Guide For Newcomers To Hollywood

I recently met a filmmaker online who we got to be talking about film. Not movies. But film. Physical film shooting film.  He came out from Illinois and he told me he was going to come out to L.A. soon to start his career. At first, I thought “wonder what this kid wants to do in here?” Duh. He wants to make movies.  And he was asking for my advice. I sat back in my chair (as we were waiting for his film…shot on film was scanning) and told him, being in L.A. is a cursed blessing.

If you come out to L.A. to pursue filmmaking, I suggest you start with a few things…a strong threshold of disappointment. One of the earliest days of my beginnings here had me hiding out in a tiny office in Burbank repeatedly hovering over production to see where they were in terms of getting off the ground. We did film test. We did wardrobe. Make-up. Everyone was casted. Cameras were on hold. Deposits put down. This was a $4 million dollar movie (bigger than anything I'd done then and since). At the very last minute (and I mean one day before shoot) the plug was pulled. I assumed it, but nothing prepares you for that cold shower. So, don’t be surprise. Happens a lot more than you realize. I go back to a previous thought I’ve had…you only hear the success stories. But even in Hollywood, the failures seem glamorous (it’s not).

Give yourself 10 years. I’m serious about this. 10 is the minimum. There are stories of quick stardom or that you hustle enough after 5 you catch some heat. But, I’ve only seen people like that fizzle. At the 5 year mark, you establish friends and a lay of the land. During this time, LEARN. Don’t say a damn thing to anyone. NO ONE cares what you did in whatever town you were in. You are a pissant that ended up at the adult’s table and they’re all wondering who you are and what makes you so great. Answer: nothing.

Focus. If you’re reading this blog, you know I got sidetracked with a TON of boozing. And finding terrible women.  Not terrible human beings, but terrible for me. Focusing on what you want to do is essential. NO ONE remembers what you want to do. They only see what you do. In fact, once you do it once, no one can see you do anything else (sad but true). So don’t do craft services, if you want to be a production designer. Go volunteer in art department. Trust me, they’ll be happy to see you.

Speaking of women, DON’T bring your girlfriend out here. To date, I know NO ONE whose relationship has survived this. For one thing, we’re always in our heads. If you’re hustling like you should, your schedule meets NO ONE else’s. That’s really taxing on people. They will resent you. I knew a guy whose wife came out with him. He became an incredibly successful visual effects artist. Rakes in tons of money. Drinks himself into a stupor. Now in Australia…the town where stupors are the norm.

Try to make friends with people who aren’t doing what you’re doing. This is difficult, because if you choose something everyone wants to do, it’s near impossible. If you want to direct you will inevitably run into a key grip who wants to direct. Scratch that…direct AND write. Bolt from this conversation immediately. I constantly BEG for material. Writing for me is awful. There’s a guy who I work with who wants to write. I think he just likes being seen as a writer and never really takes the business side seriously. I pick his brain when I can. This is harmonious. Two directors trying to direct creates resentment. I had a film school friend who is a total bitter hater. I never tell this dude what I’m up to. Just do it, and put it out there. We struggled through film school together, AND we still don’t get along, since he wants to do what I do and thinks I’m grossly unqualified to do so (as he always saw me as a cameraman and terrible with actors …which is true). If you’re in town long enough, and if you gather traction…and you have a track record…it’s odd how little people remember it. As I’ve said in previous blogs, Hollywood-aspired people are narcissistic morons (me included). A few weeks back I had to remind this person I’d worked with TONS of times I worked on “Saw.” She seemed surprised that I did. Even though I told her 10 times before. And I shot a Steven Seagal movie when I was in my early 20’s. Nothing.  If you are driven and a step above, people don’t care, because if you’re in their perimeter you are at their level. Dunno what psychology this plays into, but it goes without fail. I’m always fascinated by who did what when and how. Perfect time to pick brains for advice.

Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s not going to further your life if you constantly spend it hating that a 20 year old launched his career within a few days in this town. No one knows what he/she deals with. And you’ve just wasted precious brain power dealing with something you get no reward in. Do you really want to spend more time jealous of others’ opportunity. Makes more sense to keep working at your own craft, no? I’m guilty of this sometimes, but then I remind myself it is a colossal waste of time.

Stand by your convictions. People will easily give in to people because they are life rafts. In this sea of muddled faces…you are really alone. The silence is deafening. People escape to other worlds. Possibly with drugs or booze. Try to sidestep it. Go out and meet people and be nice. Don’t lose that drive to be kind to people. I’m not. I was way past the 10 year mark when that kindness slipped. And it’s gradual. Undetectable resentment. Especially when you go back to a town where people treat each other civilly. In Hollywood, they don’t. To us, you’re a total nuisance. Even people like me, who’ve been here this long and know enough people, I feel like a nuisance. If you are inherently kind, stay that way. Don’t change because of bad things happening. It’s not being naïve, it survival.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions of Hollywood is that by coming here from some town that doesn’t have movie making aspirations you’re going to find a place FULL of support. That is a fucking lie. And a bad one. When I lived in Cincinnati, I freely made movies in locations most Hollywood places pay a mint to shoot at. Here…everything is an industry. And if you try to sidestep it, they will thump you but good. You don’t have a permit or permission to a PUBLIC place to shoot. They fine you. The wide open forest in Frazier Park, CA…park rangers find you if you attempt to shoot. They spend more energy on shit like this than you realize. In your hometown, I doubt it highly they care. In fact, most people would ask if they could help. This is a support system. Friends and families make you food for the shoot. They will knit costumes. Or build sets. They are desperate to make your dreams come true. They LIKE you. In Hollywood, your dream fulfilled is someone else’s failure.

I made the mistake of telling my supervisor recently that I was hired to shoot a movie in Atlanta for three weeks at the end of March. Whether it happens or not is irrelevant. He makes these videos with his wife on teen business ventures. I can see the gears cranking in his head how much it’s like acid to him that I work on legit projects. And before you think I’m paranoid…consider that this guy was kitchen help not but five years earlier. Literally, worked in client services. I told him about my short film (for which he got a credit for helping me secure a location). Waved it off. Never even asked to see it. This is how little they care about who you think you are. My small success is his reminder he is a failure. It’s human nature.

Come out to Hollywood if you have to. But I gotta say, with the digital world, and social media, it seems like anywhere can be your personal Hollywood. And why not be on the ground floor to that. Make your own cesspool…er...I mean...community of egomaniacal weirdos. I’ve always wanted my own posse, the same type as Ed Wood had. Those guys may’ve been weird, but in the end…they were genuine. For me, there was no other way...that's changed for a lot of you. You can do this wherever you are nowadays, AND you won't have to deal with borderline psychos. Yes, it's nice by the beach, and you may want to change scenery, but...the success rate is pretty low. Most of us fly just at the horizon. Very few soar into the clouds.

Comedic Movies That Don't Stand Up To Time

I saw "The Apartment" (1960) Best Picture Oscar winner. That movie is ridiculously amazing. Keep in mind director Billy Wilder made this movie in English, when he barely spoke it himself. Every line in this movie, is paid off later, or a moment or a running gag. There is also subtlety I missed watching on DVD, but got to see on the big screen...on film, that I didn't even catch the first 100 times I've watched it. I've studied this film, practically frame by frame. It's the best movie ever made. Shame there are people who will never get to experience this type of filmmaking ever again.

This movie...resonates through time. I can watch it at 10 years old and appreciate the goofy period. At 20 appreciating the story. 30, I saw the sadness and subtext (which there is a TON). And now close to 40, a remembrance. I feel when I watch it again at 50, it will mean something different. Particularly if I've a family by then.

So, it got me thinking about movies I thought were good when I was a kid, now when I look at it, they are terrible.
One name stands out above all: Chevy Chase. He ruined every movie I've watched now. I'm not sure why...I don't think he's funny. He is awful. Talentless and awful. In fact, National Lampoons, in general are morons. Smart morons, but morons nonetheless. This was the nerds striking back...for absolutely no reason.

"National Lampoons Vacation": not one laugh about this movie. It's really boring actually. And the wait to the end to their destination feels more like a welcomed execution than accomplishment. This is a random mess of a movie. Nothing creative or groundbreaking. Strange that it got so much traction.

"Caddyshack" isn't funny. I don't care what you corporate 'tards think, it's really not even meant to be funny. You think it should be funny because of the talent. But keep in mind, it's so desperate to want laughs, it introduced a dancing gopher. To say you don't like "Caddyshack" would draw a ton of hate. Not sure why. There was one time, I got an earful for someone who didn't even see the movie. That's the nature of this movie.

"Fletch" is really bad. Not a single laugh. It's a costume show where people around them are so stupid, they refuse to believe he's who he says he isn't. How did he get away with this? Because in the 80's we were coked up and in a fog.

"Animal House": have you watched this movie lately? People are convinced this movie is funny. In reality, it's actually kinda'...scary. A place where a brotherhood is put together so they can throw parties and act the fool. Or at least unleash John Belushi. John Belushi isn't funny. He's sad. A buffoon who wasted film on buffoonery. Keep in mind, he self medicated himself because he knew he wasn't funny. Try to keep up. It's really a disjointed movie, being held together by strong performances and oddball non-sequitors. This type of comedy has been surpassed, so the newer viewers will be confused why their parents love this movie so much. College will eventually become less and less important to teens, so this will even be more sad.

"Ghostbusters": This one hurt to put on this list. I grew up with this movie. Loved it so much I watched it till my VHS copy became spaghetti. It's not funny. And the special effects are dated now, so it made it worst. Bill Murray is decent. But...I've never understood the Bill Murray thing. Is he suppose to be funny by NOT being funny? Does he think the world is dumber than him? If you're trying to be confusing as to your intention, it's working.

"Blues Brothers" there's a darkness to this movie that is indescribable. Maybe because Belushi OD'd. But, more than likely, what's this movie suppose to be? They get a call from God in order to save an orphanage they need to put their band back together for a fund raiser. Weird. Is it a music video?...yes. Is it a drama? Yes. Is it a comedy? I'm not sure. I didn't laugh. But it had amazing production value.

Maybe I just hope John Landis gets chopped in half by a helicopter.

Film Festivals

I never put much stock in film festivals. Generally speaking, it's easy money for people who put on these events. They aren't promoting really...the films. They're promoting themselves. For the most part.

I entered one in the Washington D.C. area. Not sure why other than it sounded cool. There will be at least two people who actually send you feedback whether it be good or bad or accepted or not. I thought that was a pretty cool twist. The ones for Palm Springs & one in Austin seem...a ton more corporate. I don't hope to network or make money, as much as hear other opportunities to do my next project. Being accepted would be a big deal, since SOMEONE will watch it.

The downside to all of this is that this all comes at a fee. No surprise there. It's been like that since I was in film school over a decade ago. They do need money to operate. And I'm not sure what the logistics are for short films, but people having to sift through a lot of these movies...bless their eyeballs. Especially if you do make movies or want to as a living.

So who judges these things? Most likely film critics. Or local writers. A few may be filmmakers. But I think a lot are parsed out to volunteers. Will they like my movie? I don't know. If you put it into the scheme of the Oscars, there was a lot of industry push to get some people to watch their movie. "Birdman" isn't a best movie of the year. In fact, it's not even in the top ten. It's just seen as a unique movie (which I've contended already it's not). But that doesn't mean the bandwagon doesn't move. It takes that one odd push to shove it into the spotlight. Maybe my short does the same. Where someone sees it, and it's so much different then what they're use to, it's hard to not champion it.

Who knows? All I know is that I have to keep my targets to a minimum. The fees for this gets big. Especially the bigger name ones.

I just like that my movie is out there now. Somewhere.

Suspension of Disbelief

I’m at an impasse. I got a short script and wanting to move forward with it. But something about the story doesn’t ring true. Not that anyone had to tell me what it was. But it feels….off in my gut. I don’t know what it is though. Maybe a nagging feeling that the story has no universal truth. Or I’m trying to jam a story where there is none.

I had to clear my my so I went to go see “Paddington.”  The story is of a family of bears who due to de-forestation is displaced. Only Paddington is the only one who travels to London to find another life.

The story is fun, and it’s clearly for children. As an adult watching this, a lot of questions came to mind. In the movie, it’s clear this English talking bear gathers no attention. They set this up fast in the beginning as busy Londoners are in the train station moving past him. Ignoring him. Even though he CLEARLY speaks their language. In any other world, people question this, in this movie…NO ONE even bats an eye. It leads you to think that during production meetings, it was most likely “we can’t spend any time on the story having people be amazed of a talking bear, we’d spend too much of it explaining it.” Therein lies the truth.

Sometimes you can kill the spirit of the story by asking too many questions.

To me, it was just the way the English are. They aren’t amused, shocked or moved by anything. A space alien can hit a pub and no one would bat an eye. It’s just the nature of their culture. That’s MY interpretation. Was it ever explained? Nope. And I actually liked it better that they didn’t. Because we’re in another universe that allows this.

I had my short read recently. I’m also dealing with an alternate universe question. Two people whom I’ve spoke to posit that  I never have to explain why a man who comes into town isn’t recognized as a younger version of himself, even though he is, more than likely spoken about in terms of a murder that occurred years earlier. To me, the simple explanation is that if we saw a version of ourselves we don’t necessary would even recognize ourselves. Oftentimes I see a doppelganger of me and see features that resemble mine. Could it be me from a different Universe? The general curiosity would drive me to follow that person, see how that other person lives (hope he drove an expensive car with a lavish house and a hot wife). To me, this wasn’t a huge detail. But it is something someone would ask. Thoughout the shoot.

It pays to listen. There were moments during my thesis film where I had a young crew. One of my production assistants, a freshman girl, asked me a question during the shoot about a detail I’d overlooked. Instead of finding a solution, and because I was pressed for time, I shrugged it off. Sure enough, it was a detail EVERYONE asked about during the screening. No bad ideas. Only potential good ones you ignore at your peril.

So, now I’ve been waffling about what I should re-write to make it flow better. To make it less of an issue. This is the balance of filmmaking. You may have an intention to the story, but a lot of people will see things you didn’t think about.  Actually a LOT of times people will interpret your movie in ways you never thought. A lot of those are fascinating. I think this is the true magic of movies.

They Do Read It

So I got feedback for my feature script that I wanted to sell off. I was surprised.

Nothing prepares you for what people tell you when they read your material. I guess if they know you, they expect something. And it is a bit telling what they will tell you. And you can rake what you think it means about you as a person...

Friend: "I read your script."
Me: "Oh, sweet, thanks for taking the time."
Friend: "Can I make a suggestions?"
Me: "I wouldn't be sending it to you if I didn't value your opinion."
Friend: "check spelling. One of your characters name is wrong. You added a "T"...making "Chris" into "Christ." Very distracting, took me out of it.
Me: "Oh yeah, no problem. Easy fix. Sorry about that."
Friend: "Why should you be sorry?"
Me: "Well it seemed to ruin the whole thing for you."
Friend: "Oh no. It just...things like the pull people out. They get distracted and reminded they're reading. You don't want that."
Me: "Oh I completely agree."
Friend: "also, punch up the romantic tension between your lead guy and girl."
Me: "They're running from mutants."
Friend: "Yeah, but you have them kiss in the end, and there's no indication he found her attractive in the least."
Me: "Done. I've got pages to play with."
Friend: "Bring it up to date. With the technology. short wave radio, satellite communication. The new military, ya' know?"
Me: "I know NOTHING about that stuff. I was just making shit up."
Friend: "uh-huh."
Me: "okay...put in some email or interwebs or something?"
Friend: "Something."
Me: "That it?"
Friend: "Yeah. Can I say something?"
Me: "Of course."
Friend: "I was surprised."
Me: "Oh?"
Friend: "Yeah, I was expecting...like...technical. We been friends for a while. You have technical knowledge. Was expecting it to be...technical."
Me: "You mean...like boring?"
Friend: "Well, yeah...something like a manual. I was surprised. You really paint visually images."
Me: "Oh wow, that's really high praise. I think"
Friend: "Oh no it is. Like it wasn't dry. The read is almost poetic. All action. It felt very 'Terminator'"
Me: "Now you're bullshitting me." (he worked on "Terminator 3" & "Terminator: Salvation")
Friend: "No. It's the kind of action stuff I like reading."
Me: "Oh man. Thanks. Thank you very much"
Friend: "Yeah, but romantic tension & name spelling. And update tech."
Me: "Oh for sure. Thanks!"

They do really read your stuff. Professionals do..for sure.

"Still Alice" director Wash Westmoreland & Richard Glatzer

I was standing in their production office, 25 years old and new to the "real world" of Hollywood. A tiny Asian woman, who shared my last name, was finalizing my deal memo. Wash Westmoreland walked in first. Tall, lanky and goofy. He spoke first "Hi, I'm Wash." He spoke with an English accent. I didn't recognize that as a name so I said "What?" "Wash, I'm Wash...the co-director" he palmed his hands together like he was washing them. I shook his hand. He was so cheery and it was morning so I was disoriented. Wash is gay. As is his directing partner Richard Glatzer. Very very very nice guys. They answered all my questions and were pleasantly surprised how enthusiastic I was for being on set.

Wash introduced me to the director of photography, Mark. They were both friendly. Overly friendly. Eerie friendly. Since...I was just a grip. A glorified mover really.

This was my VERY first job on a movie set called "The Fluffer." On the first day of shoot, I recall being at a massive house atop the Hollywood hills. I don't judge much. And a paycheck was a paycheck. The hours sucked bad. But I got to meet some really cool people. Deborah Harry, Taylor Negron (who my film school friend and I idolized for his role in "The Last Boy Scout") & Richard Riehl (the "jump to conclusions" guy from "Office Space.") Everyone was incredibly nice on this set. With the exception of the key grip. He hated me and eventually fired me. But it was because I would shadow the cinematographer who loved my love of making movies. Chit-chat isn't what a brainless construction worker is suppose to be.

 Anyway, I explored the house during a break and as I was looking through the shelves, I came across boxes and boxes of pornography. Not just porn. But gay porn. I realized the house belong to a gay porn producer. And Wash and Richard made their living directing gay porn. But this was their first foray into legit movie making. Was I shocked? Kinda. But not until a week into the shoot when we were on a dingy soundstage in North Hollywood.

It was late. And I was tapped to brace an A-frame flat (part of a set). I was next to the craft services table (food and snacks) when I first heard it. Behind the flat and in the shadows was noted on the call sheet as "stunt cock." Yes folks, he had his massive schlong out stroking it next to the potato salad. This business is surreal. Because as a glorified construction worker, I just stood at my station like an obedient dog trying to ignore that squish sound like goes with beating off. The "stunt cock" was needed since the main actor refused to do frontal nudity. Plus, I think he had a small wiener. Anyway, the assistant director called for the guy, his member rigid and rock hard sashayed onto set.

I stood there for second. Mind you, first time ever on a movie set, and wondered if it would always be this fascinating. I mean, I certainly wasn't going to tell anyone what had occurred around their food.

12 years later, Wash and Richard directed a movie called "Still Alice" with Julianne Moore, Kate Bosworth & Alec Baldwin. Julianne is up for an Oscar. This is surreal to me.

What I Learned From Taylor Hackford & "Against All Odds"

In the commentary for this movie, there is a moment where Rachel Ward, arguably one of the most beautiful women ever to walk this Earth, is in a bathing suit. It's a one piece. Consider that in the movie she also has a nude scene. Director Taylor Hackford confesses that Rachel had a body image issue. NOT that she thought she was fat or skinny, but just...revealing too much (even after a filmed nude scene). For some reason this got in her crawl.

The screened the movie for her, to which that scene came up. The scene is mostly covered in wide shot, then a close-up of her face, then a two-shot with her and James Woods. This is when it gets bizarre. After the screening, she darts over to Mr. Hackford and starts to give him an earful about how he said he wouldn't cover her body in a close-up. Screaming in the lobby of the theater at him about it. If you watch the scene, there IS no close-up of her body. It's a close-up of face to two-shot of her and James Woods. He surmised, in her mind, she magnified it so much all she could see were her flaws. Which to everyone else...there was none.

This got me thinking about my own projects. I've got a low threshold for "difficult" actresses. Because of how little money I put into them, I've no room to complain. BUT, it does still irk me in a way that I chose these people because I know they will be fine in my project. HOWEVER...they never think this way. Their image and their "acting" will be scrutinized by the most bitter of people. Their peers. IF you spent a lifetime fighting your own looks or judged only for your looks, the minute that is called into question, it can really keep you awake at night. It made me understand the psyche of actresses better. The insanity isn't without warrant. People are exceptionally cruel these days without reason. Even more now then in 1984. Social media can destroy you. The toughest of us can weather it. Give ourselves reasons why people are shits. I'm relatively removed from a LOT of hip new things, so I've no idea. But the younger crowd destroys one another before anyone even has a chance.

I was also listening to Brett Easton Ellis's podcast. He talks about the project "The Canyons" for which he wrote and Paul ("Taxi Driver" writer) Shrader directed. The movie is fascinating. Because if you knew where Lindsay Lohan was at the time, you realize what a feat it was to get made. Especially under crowd-funding, where there is no studio safety net. They discuss her behavior on set. Drunk, late and sometimes never show. During a table read, she'd actually made a list of who she wanted cut from the movie...as those people were in the room. She was fired multiple times. And the press ate it up, since she was starring across from James Deen, a porn actor. Regardless of what Brett will admit, that is grounds for a trainwreck. It was vexing, since the combination of Shrader & Ellis would have me shaking in my boots. Lohan, on a downward spiral, should've been kissing the ground to be working with these two. Instead, she was a mess. The project ended up a curious mess. And it just disappeared into obscurity. This is truth of the movie business. Chewed up, spit out, and what is spat out is just what resembles a human being but is just a spoiled child.

What I'm getting at is, if you plan on working in the business, you have to know these are women you will deal with. It's been happening since movies were being made. Difficult, angry, low self-esteemed egomaniacal crazy people who will test you. If a person like Rachel Ward has these issues...it's a no-brainer you will run into someone worse.

Overcompensator

Don't be this guy.
The guy who when you ask an innocuous question you have to inject your opinion with a silly story about how you got pussy.

I got a co-worker in his 50's who does this. It's stupid, and it's clear his wife probably doesn't do shit for him.

Me: "You ever go to church?"
Him: "Yeah. One time. Lutheran church. There was this one chick use to give me blowjobs in the parking lot at this temple. Amazing."

I go quiet.

Really, man...this is the extent of what you can talk? Like you're some viral fuck king? Bro, you sound like a total limp dick faggot. Because that story seems like it's suppose to impress me. It doesn't. Every single conversation dips into this. Another guy use to do this too. I'd show clips from a commercial spot I'd do. His response "Did you fuck her?"

Not "cool spot." Not "wow, what did you do to film it?" Just "did you fuck her?" This from a bald fucking piece of shit loser, who's saddled with two daughters and a wife. Maybe I should fuck your wife. Then ask you if I can fuck your daughters. That is the equivalent. I dropped this toolbag and ignore his dumbass now when he tries to speak to me. Got no patience.

Just, people like this...get your fucking head out your ass. You're not cool.

Cinema Is Dead

Do you recall a time when you waited in line to watch a movie like "The Godfather?"

Those days are over. You can find this type of movie but it's going to be at an art house theater. And that's a shame. There are a few reasons for this:

The advent of big screen televisions really gave you a theater type experience without having to spend money to see it. The actual act of going to the movies is no longer a hassle. And you don't have assholes who turn on their cell phones during the movie.

The storytelling. No one these days would stand in line to see "Kramer vs. Kramer." In 1975-1976 they did. It was a word of mouth that got people to see it. The social discussion of divorce was really fascinating to people. Today, it wouldn't make movie-of-the-week on a 5th tier t.v. station.

The availability. We're really saturated with movies and t.v. And it's at your fingertips. People seem to like having control over what they watch when they watch it. I think it's really bad. Like brain-deadening bad to allow this. Simply because everything created now is so throwaway. The idea that you can "get to it when I get to it" loses the value of the material. What does this do? It makes you crave small bites rather than a full meal.

The talent pool needs stability. Being in this business is a terrible hustle. With movies, it's a constant shuffling. There are too many people involved to make a decision to be secure in scheduling your life. This is very taxing. When you have a television series, you know your day-to-day (if your series is picked up). In movies (and I've experienced this) the plug could be pulled even during the middle of shooting. This is like putting your yearly eggs in one basket. It is not only painful when this happens, it's sometimes life changing. For me, a television series would be great, since a handful of people just hop from one show to the next. And the community is tiny, so your reputation would proceed you. In movies, if you aren't the top 10% or been doing it for decades, you're invisible.

T.V. has gotten way better than movies. I recall a time, when working for television was seen as sub-level basement living. It was where you started and wanted to climb from this pit. Nowadays, feature writers go to television because it's so much more of a nice development of character. In a movie, you have roughly 2 hours to flush out your thoughts. For the blowhard writers, you might as well tell them it's a short. In television, you can extend for a ton of episodes. Why is Amazon & Netflix getting in this game. Because they can also extend your eyeballs to their crap.

Movies are entertainment only. I use to believe this whole-heartedly. If you want to depress people with how shitty life is...making movies isn't the way. They already know how shitty it is. HOWEVER, sometimes, people in shitty places need to relate to something. And guess what? We're all in different degrees of shitty places. There is a place to depress people with life sucks, the best we can do is earn it.

I truly miss the cinema experience. Movies...they are great distraction, but going to a movie and feeling that it was worthwhile is no longer on the table. I feel sorry for this era of movies. The full impact of appreciation for storytelling craft isn't touted, as much as which superhero joins which league. Just to pacify the action/tits and ass group (read: 14 year olds). I don't fault the business. It IS a business.

Da' Super Bowl: The Next Day

Wow. Just...wow.

An amazing game, that I actually stayed up for even though I had to be back at the office at 3AM. The ending was worth it. And for those who believe Tom Brady was a flash in the pan, whiny bitch, as I usually do, he proved he is now part of history. Montana won in the era of Jerry Rice. Brady won with no marquee receiver.

The first part of this, I'd predicted the Patriots to win. I should've been wrong. A long ball from Seahawk's QB sailed through the air and bounced to-and-fro into the hands of Jermaine Kearse at the 10 yard line. This sent an instant panic to the Patriot's, reliving two separate past nightmare scenarios where they played the Giants, The first time it was a miraculous catch by David Tyree. The second, a ridiculous catch by Mario Manningham. It sealed the Pats fate those two separate times. Malcolm Butler did his best, but you can't defend THAT.

A play call seconds before the end sealed the deal with the Seahawks. A very odd decision to throw the ball instead of use Marshawn "The Beast Mode" Lynch to pound through the line. I would estimate oh...10 million people all thought it was going to be a run. Instead, Russell Wilson tossed a hot slant route which was picked off by, who other than...Malcolm Butler, a rookie cornerback for the Patriots sealing a victory. For seconds he was the goat. Now he was the hero. Unreal.

This moment also gave Tom Brady his 4th Super Bowl. With Montana and Terry Bradshaw, he is one of the best. If not arguably, the best ever. I grew up in the Montana years where it was his name above all. It hurt, since he beat my Bengals in Super Bowl XVI. I couldn't buy into him or the 49ers. Hated them for years. Tom Brady's victory also felt like a chip was off my shoulder as well. Montana is still clutch and I still resent the guy, but...he's no Tom Brady.

This is the Super Bowl everyone had been waiting for. To the last seconds decides the victor.

What a game.

Live In The Minutiae

You know... before people die, they don't really look back on the HUGE things in their lives. Sidney Lumet, legendary filmmaker/director made big movies and won tons of awards. I recall reading somewhere that his most memorable moments were mornings walking around New York. Quiet moments as life starts to wake up.

I get that. I have those moments as my day starts around 3 in the morning. I think what people forget about living is the smaller moments. We do get caught up in the drive and never the journey. I feel when I die, it won't be for the things I've done while here, it will be the drives I take on the 170 freeway on my way to a gym out in Newhall. It's not the gym, it was the drive. I look at what's around me, and think about where I am in life, and where I want to be. And I think of story ideas. A lot of stupid things. But that small moment means so much more to me than the short brief time spent making movies or meeting famous people. I think this is a perspective for people who are older (past 30). I think we all want it to be bigger. But it's not.

Ethan Hawke was on the Nerdist podcast talking to Chris Hardwicke about this. He's a famous actor. I hasten to use the word celebrity, because I consider talentless d-bags who've traded their shame for fame as celebrities. He values concept, ideas and importance in using film medium to communicate to others. Yeah, corny, but it's really amazing. Considering he made a movie like "The Purge." But he was more drawn by the concept than the execution. It was made on a draw string budget which...strangely enough, was produced by my boss. It made a ton of money. But, at its core, we're still talking about society at the fringe. It's a commentary wrapped in a social message. Maybe.

I'm not sure I personally have figured that one out yet. I throw as much cool entertainment I can at the screen. It comes out a little flat and there is no great message to what I write. I just like to have fun. In that case, if it amuses me, then I've fulfilled that thing in me. The moment is to finish. It's simple and it only concerns me, but I appreciate that I finished something. One of the things about these accolades, and as you get older you start to diminish what you think should be larger moments, is that it is a cycle. IF you could take anything away from growing up, it's that things don't remain at the top or bottom. They're somewhere in the middle. When you're young, it's always a race to the top. Then you realize, only a few years, you're back at the bottom again (freshman is a freshman).

When young you have this luxury. As you're older, you no longer strive for that since you understand it only goes back to where you started. You finish a movie, you make the next one. Kudos come kudos go. Keep making stuff.

Shows like Oprah's show, while on the surface is really inspiring. To me, I think it's really destructive. She believes and pushes that everyone can be anything they want. And women shouldn't be marginalized to just do one thing. NO ONE did this to women, but women. Women, may feel fulfilled by just being a housewife. To Oprah and her minions it's probably "oh no girl, you have to do more." This was embedded in my mind. And I questioned that of my college girlfriend. Don't you want to do more with your life? What is more important than being a mother and the keeper of a house. Unless it's in your natural DNA to be driven, this force fed attitude will only frustrate, disappoint and anger. This is not someone who is a complete human being.

I do believe we should be more, IF that is something that wakes you in the morning. For me, I love the small moments in life. The genius of "Boyhood" as Ethan Hawke mentions, is that you think throughout the movie, something enormous is going to happen. But in life, nothing does. The majority of people will just live and move forward without leaving as much as a blip. Although we're fooled into believing we're much more. I don't think any one of us could carry that weight on our shoulders.

Don't be so hard on yourselves. Live in the minutiae. What you think as success will always move to something else that comes up in life. Be sure to appreciate how interesting those small moments are.