I'm sure some of you are tired of me telling you how big you're going to fail in the movie business. You aren't going to fail big, because it's not that big of deal.
You are also not the exception, but the rule. Logic.
The crack into the business takes a lot of grit. To stay in the business takes patience. Two things lacking in most of the population. Talent is fine. Looks are fine. Now there's luck.
I've been very honest about my luck. I had no rhyme or reason why someone chose me to shoot their feature film. To this day, never asked. But this type of luck isn't...normal. You're luck won't be either. Because it will come from a place you never expected.
What Hollywood doesn't tell you or you haven't gotten through your thick skull is that you are a nuisance here. They look down from their Chemosphere towers and judge you. Regardless of whether you are an actor or not. And so do your peers. I don't consider anyone my peer at this point. Since I do my own thing. And don't require approval from them. Nor do I require support. What is it that I really need? To put together visual stories and art. And express topics to the people who will understand them. Freedom. Not pandering to the masses. Nor kowtowing to the popular thing. Gross.
What this virus lockdown has shown me, is what the reality is. That we are all one project away from survival tactics. The phrase "balloons in the air" which is a euphemism for having many projects floating ready to go. No one thinks about what is certain or secure. They think I have 10 music videos coming up and one feature and I can pay my mortgage. Fate ended up that real fast. Or that you were going to be in a film or another project. That ended. And is indefinite now, since few people want to be on set with a mass of people breathing on each other for 12-16 hour days. That didn't work out, did it?
Our lives are put on pause. And the perception of those we thought were functioning fine are going to reveal itself. And the ones left standing will be scarred.
Thursday, April 30, 2020
Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Unemployment
For a while there, my Midwest mind thought this was welfare. In this Corona Virus era, it sort of is. A TON of people qualify for this. Even gig workers or perpetually underemployed.
I use to think that we paid into this fund as employees. I worked for 20 years and never used it, thinking...well, it's welfare. It's not.
When I spoke to my neighbor (who owns a small business) she encouraged her workers to take it. In this case, Federal government stepped in and added an extra $600 per check. I think it was to goose the economy. And since so many people died due to the virus recently, there is a little bit more unclaimed taxes to be hidden (heh heh heh, I'm just kidding Jesus). She also told me that in California they are overlooking the typical hurdles one use to have to go through to collect. No businesses seem to dispute any claims now (when they use to). So get it while you can.
Grimness aside, take the unemployment. I calculated what my employer paid into it. Which is about 6.2% of the first $7000 you make. In the end, those 20 years that my employer paid into it, sort of paid off. HOWEVER, this is not to say this colossal shit show of a lockdown isn't going to cause a deficit. As before, businesses pay into this. So if businesses close, they can't pay into it. Me smart.
I think that's why a lot of large business are getting the bailout. Smaller business don't pay as much of this "pot" so doesn't seem like Unkie Sam cares about them.
In the case of "gig workers" if and when this blows over, I can guarantee those businesses are about to get hit hard with taxes. They have ZERO overhead and raking in money based on other people's labor.
Getting back to work is the surest way to level out that pot. Because some states don't have enough to cover their unemployment rate. The trick is to level that out to where the actual benefits DON'T exceed their weekly pay. Because...then, what's the point of getting off unemployment.
In case you assholes think America isn't great, this is a reason why. Yeah, my home country of Taiwan pays all expenses during this time when no one can work, because they are somewhat socialist. But that is a TINY country. Less than the population of California. For a country like America to implement this is pretty damn cool.
I use to think that we paid into this fund as employees. I worked for 20 years and never used it, thinking...well, it's welfare. It's not.
When I spoke to my neighbor (who owns a small business) she encouraged her workers to take it. In this case, Federal government stepped in and added an extra $600 per check. I think it was to goose the economy. And since so many people died due to the virus recently, there is a little bit more unclaimed taxes to be hidden (heh heh heh, I'm just kidding Jesus). She also told me that in California they are overlooking the typical hurdles one use to have to go through to collect. No businesses seem to dispute any claims now (when they use to). So get it while you can.
Grimness aside, take the unemployment. I calculated what my employer paid into it. Which is about 6.2% of the first $7000 you make. In the end, those 20 years that my employer paid into it, sort of paid off. HOWEVER, this is not to say this colossal shit show of a lockdown isn't going to cause a deficit. As before, businesses pay into this. So if businesses close, they can't pay into it. Me smart.
I think that's why a lot of large business are getting the bailout. Smaller business don't pay as much of this "pot" so doesn't seem like Unkie Sam cares about them.
In the case of "gig workers" if and when this blows over, I can guarantee those businesses are about to get hit hard with taxes. They have ZERO overhead and raking in money based on other people's labor.
Getting back to work is the surest way to level out that pot. Because some states don't have enough to cover their unemployment rate. The trick is to level that out to where the actual benefits DON'T exceed their weekly pay. Because...then, what's the point of getting off unemployment.
In case you assholes think America isn't great, this is a reason why. Yeah, my home country of Taiwan pays all expenses during this time when no one can work, because they are somewhat socialist. But that is a TINY country. Less than the population of California. For a country like America to implement this is pretty damn cool.
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
In Appreciation
So a few people have reached out to me in regards to this blog and I wanted to let the readers know how much I appreciate you guys reading this vomitorium of industry bullshit and some other dumb stories I think of when I'm in traffic or driving around.
I know most of this will fall on deaf ears, because a few of you are willing to make the sacrifice to get there. Until you see what the sacrifice really meant. The community is different now where you can be in no budget schlocky films and get some views. But people are fickle. If you make movies, unless it gets mass distribution, it goes into a hole. Until you make 3 more. You grow a following really. This is the new model for those who don't work for the studios but aiming towards that goal.
Obviously, this is NOT a template. Your success is based on other factors (including what you think success is). A few people who contradict me about the "new model" of show business, guess what? You're probably right. But you're an anecdote and not the norm. Though not much in this business is the norm.
I don't know the REAL business of show business, because I don't crunch the numbers. I didn't get into filmmaking to have checkboxes. Like comic book movies have. They have checkboxes that require certain things to happen. And then sequels that continue that. That's why they're dumb. Except to children, because they like pretty colors and loud noises. Also, you see any acting there?
I'm very grateful for those who do read this and actually absorb what I'm telling you. As I'm sure a few of you think I'm some crazy weird dude who stands on a mountain and yells doom and gloom to you below.
Partly true.
I like shutting people down. Because I do have years hovering within "the industry" and none of it pretty. It's got cool moments, like old Hollywood locations are damn cool. But for the most part, if you're working, you're working. No fun to be had. Unless you're young or coked up or drunk.
Someone down the line once probably planted in your head that you are worthy. Which you are. However, being worthy and getting an opportunity means something different. You can be talented and do all the hard work and sacrifice, and end up with nothing. Which is what I commonly see. OR make those opportunities yourself and tell the powers that be to fuck off. Which is what I encourage. So often I ask people to write me a script. The only two who have done this, both women, one not even in the industry. In a way, it seems the people at the fray know more than the ones inside. That's you readers out there. You do know more than us insiders. Because you live with the public. You go to your office and talk about movies. And for some who are film fans, you talk about what YOU would do different. Doesn't mean it will work. In fact, probably won't. But it's fascinating to hear how the people outside of the arts view cinema (most are probably the comic book world movies, because it's the only thing that hits multiplexes). If they're old enough, they probably remember a different feel to them. They don't know why movies don't feel like they use to.
Probably because those films liked to develop people properly.
We're all about behavior.
I know most of this will fall on deaf ears, because a few of you are willing to make the sacrifice to get there. Until you see what the sacrifice really meant. The community is different now where you can be in no budget schlocky films and get some views. But people are fickle. If you make movies, unless it gets mass distribution, it goes into a hole. Until you make 3 more. You grow a following really. This is the new model for those who don't work for the studios but aiming towards that goal.
Obviously, this is NOT a template. Your success is based on other factors (including what you think success is). A few people who contradict me about the "new model" of show business, guess what? You're probably right. But you're an anecdote and not the norm. Though not much in this business is the norm.
I don't know the REAL business of show business, because I don't crunch the numbers. I didn't get into filmmaking to have checkboxes. Like comic book movies have. They have checkboxes that require certain things to happen. And then sequels that continue that. That's why they're dumb. Except to children, because they like pretty colors and loud noises. Also, you see any acting there?
I'm very grateful for those who do read this and actually absorb what I'm telling you. As I'm sure a few of you think I'm some crazy weird dude who stands on a mountain and yells doom and gloom to you below.
Partly true.
I like shutting people down. Because I do have years hovering within "the industry" and none of it pretty. It's got cool moments, like old Hollywood locations are damn cool. But for the most part, if you're working, you're working. No fun to be had. Unless you're young or coked up or drunk.
Someone down the line once probably planted in your head that you are worthy. Which you are. However, being worthy and getting an opportunity means something different. You can be talented and do all the hard work and sacrifice, and end up with nothing. Which is what I commonly see. OR make those opportunities yourself and tell the powers that be to fuck off. Which is what I encourage. So often I ask people to write me a script. The only two who have done this, both women, one not even in the industry. In a way, it seems the people at the fray know more than the ones inside. That's you readers out there. You do know more than us insiders. Because you live with the public. You go to your office and talk about movies. And for some who are film fans, you talk about what YOU would do different. Doesn't mean it will work. In fact, probably won't. But it's fascinating to hear how the people outside of the arts view cinema (most are probably the comic book world movies, because it's the only thing that hits multiplexes). If they're old enough, they probably remember a different feel to them. They don't know why movies don't feel like they use to.
Probably because those films liked to develop people properly.
We're all about behavior.
Sunday, April 26, 2020
Money Means Nothing
I'm sure by now you should've gotten your stimulus check. To the poor, this could mean a nice week of eating something other than rice and beans. To the well off, it's just a car payment...maybe.
To me, I chose to donate it to service people. I write it in their tip. Essentially give them 100% tip on whatever I order. It goes pretty quick this way. But these are the people who have no choice BUT to stay in business.
I think this is what the stimulus check SHOULD be used for. To put back into society. A lot of people choose to save it. Which is sound, but at this time, it's better to keep it moving. Remember what I said before, money is liquid. It does NO good sitting in the bank (besides letting other people make money off of it).
And as I've said, I've got more money than I can spend. I'm not rich. But I don't need much. I'm sinking it into personal projects. But making sure I spend it on American goods, using American people. I think that's what the stimulus money is about.
But I understand that you need to squirrel it away for a rainy day. That's how I started. A few dollars here and there DO add up. Pay your bills. But enjoy a little of it as well.
Because money really doesn't mean much, if it just sits.
To me, I chose to donate it to service people. I write it in their tip. Essentially give them 100% tip on whatever I order. It goes pretty quick this way. But these are the people who have no choice BUT to stay in business.
I think this is what the stimulus check SHOULD be used for. To put back into society. A lot of people choose to save it. Which is sound, but at this time, it's better to keep it moving. Remember what I said before, money is liquid. It does NO good sitting in the bank (besides letting other people make money off of it).
And as I've said, I've got more money than I can spend. I'm not rich. But I don't need much. I'm sinking it into personal projects. But making sure I spend it on American goods, using American people. I think that's what the stimulus money is about.
But I understand that you need to squirrel it away for a rainy day. That's how I started. A few dollars here and there DO add up. Pay your bills. But enjoy a little of it as well.
Because money really doesn't mean much, if it just sits.
Saturday, April 25, 2020
Born Again
I think you'd be surprised to discover how many people in Hollywood are born again Christians. You know people like Kirk Cameron, since he makes movies about them. But, you ever go to the movies and see a movie trailer that seems sort of...well...religious.
That's because that is the influence born agains actually have. These fuckers have money. Probably neck and neck with the gays. Though gays are much more readily acceptable than born again Christians. Also, there sometimes is an overlap. Yes, you can be gay and Christian. Or vice versa. There is a gay church in Hollywood. It's where they filmed the "Enchantment Under The Sea" scene from "Back To The Future."
The Christians are rich out here. There is a Beverly Hills Christian Church I once went to to film some behind-the-scenes stuff. The place had to run sermons in waves because they had a congregation of 3000+. These are the people who aren't necessarily heads of studios, but they are powerful people.
Maybe you wouldn't be too surprised, since this place is full of godless heathens. Which is fine too. As Bart Simpson once said "all the great music is associated with Satan." But many are repenting for the shitty reckless lives they lived prior to being a Christian. So they go over the top. Because most addicts' mode is "all or nothing." I consider myself under that category. I can either drink until I can't drink anymore and not drink at all. I chose the latter. I think that's true with pretty much everything I can be passionate about. So people like me have to regulate what we take in. I chose exercise and film cameras. That keeps my mind busy. Also blogging helps.
So, the thing about born again Christians is that they are annoying. Because they found a path to their own poor choices in life, they nag you incessantly about yours. In a sense my blog does that, but at least you have a choice to read this or not. I found a better way to do something. Or easier. Or give you some food for thought. I'm not the Little Buddha guru who tells you to believe in yourself and the rest will come. That's what the homeless population of Los Angeles are built on. This complete bullshit concept that you are unique and deserve everything if you believe. They forgot to tell you to get off your fucking ass and hustle. And take the emotional punches. I hope I've expressed that.
I know a bunch of you are atheist types, because you question the logic of a puppetmaster in the sky. I don't either. But I am spiritual. And we are one with this existence. And our conscience living is what makes this even a reality. And everyone has their own book to complete.
The day I had my horrific accident, I did conclude real fast that life is quick. And that reset button is a traffic light away. Always. Many of you are embracing the life given and not wasting a minute. Others wander like it'll last forever.
Even though I tell you your chances are slim to none. This is probably a much more fun way to go about life.
That's because that is the influence born agains actually have. These fuckers have money. Probably neck and neck with the gays. Though gays are much more readily acceptable than born again Christians. Also, there sometimes is an overlap. Yes, you can be gay and Christian. Or vice versa. There is a gay church in Hollywood. It's where they filmed the "Enchantment Under The Sea" scene from "Back To The Future."
The Christians are rich out here. There is a Beverly Hills Christian Church I once went to to film some behind-the-scenes stuff. The place had to run sermons in waves because they had a congregation of 3000+. These are the people who aren't necessarily heads of studios, but they are powerful people.
Maybe you wouldn't be too surprised, since this place is full of godless heathens. Which is fine too. As Bart Simpson once said "all the great music is associated with Satan." But many are repenting for the shitty reckless lives they lived prior to being a Christian. So they go over the top. Because most addicts' mode is "all or nothing." I consider myself under that category. I can either drink until I can't drink anymore and not drink at all. I chose the latter. I think that's true with pretty much everything I can be passionate about. So people like me have to regulate what we take in. I chose exercise and film cameras. That keeps my mind busy. Also blogging helps.
So, the thing about born again Christians is that they are annoying. Because they found a path to their own poor choices in life, they nag you incessantly about yours. In a sense my blog does that, but at least you have a choice to read this or not. I found a better way to do something. Or easier. Or give you some food for thought. I'm not the Little Buddha guru who tells you to believe in yourself and the rest will come. That's what the homeless population of Los Angeles are built on. This complete bullshit concept that you are unique and deserve everything if you believe. They forgot to tell you to get off your fucking ass and hustle. And take the emotional punches. I hope I've expressed that.
I know a bunch of you are atheist types, because you question the logic of a puppetmaster in the sky. I don't either. But I am spiritual. And we are one with this existence. And our conscience living is what makes this even a reality. And everyone has their own book to complete.
The day I had my horrific accident, I did conclude real fast that life is quick. And that reset button is a traffic light away. Always. Many of you are embracing the life given and not wasting a minute. Others wander like it'll last forever.
Even though I tell you your chances are slim to none. This is probably a much more fun way to go about life.
Friday, April 24, 2020
The People Of Color Versus White America
I spent my entire life integrating into a system that was never meant for me. Regardless of how "progressive" America has become, there is always an underlining sense that we won't belong.
Because America is White, has been White, will always be White. The people of color, as myself, will always have this thought lingering in our heads.
I say this, because, so many White folk have this thought about how far we've gotten away from slavery or discrimination and celebrate that. You can't celebrate something that was never something for you to take away in the first place. The thought is great, but White America has always and will be exclusionary. Because it is a club not really spoken about out loud. The subtle things or "privileges" that come with it.
Yes, I know I spoke in the past about Whites NOT having privilege (which is why I put in in quotations) because they don't even acknowledge this part of it. Which is, White America will always have hope.
See, I am a representative of my race. Regardless of what you say. An "Asian" guy comes in to apply for a job. Or "we need more Asians to meet our quota" and so forth. A White American has many options. So many options they don't even know where to begin. The only barrier to their success, is having motivation and ambition. The rest is options.
I notice all my White American friends walk around like everything is hunky dory. You know why that is? Because there are options. I have options a Black American doesn't have. I was blinded by this "privilege." Because we will always judge. You have to. It's self preservation.
My landlord does things like make people prove they have three times the rent. Know who that excludes? Many people of color. It trickles down. Pay high rent, can't get a job, go broke, go homeless, become a statistic.
People of color always have a chip on their shoulder. Because they know they are a representative of their race to White Americans.
But it is a testament to America that they are attempting to right a ship. Though I wish they wouldn't do it for political reasons.
No person of color with dignity wants a handout. Though, funny how White Americans are perfectly fine with it. Because they aren't judged by a system that was created to stigmatize this. White corporate America for example. Look at the richest Whitest guys in America. Bills Gates, Jeff Bezos, and on and on.
And we're suppose to believe in fair.
At first I thought it was a class system, until I realize a destitute White American has much more hope than a person of color who is destitute. As Chris Rock said about the White waiter who wouldn't trade places with him...and he's rich.
But that's not to blame or be angry at White Americans. They have no idea it's ingrained in them. Regardless of how successful I am, White Americans have and will see me as still a lower class citizen. There is not enough woke to hide this fact. But it's nice of them to try.
And I'm happy to find my own tribe.
Because America is White, has been White, will always be White. The people of color, as myself, will always have this thought lingering in our heads.
I say this, because, so many White folk have this thought about how far we've gotten away from slavery or discrimination and celebrate that. You can't celebrate something that was never something for you to take away in the first place. The thought is great, but White America has always and will be exclusionary. Because it is a club not really spoken about out loud. The subtle things or "privileges" that come with it.
Yes, I know I spoke in the past about Whites NOT having privilege (which is why I put in in quotations) because they don't even acknowledge this part of it. Which is, White America will always have hope.
See, I am a representative of my race. Regardless of what you say. An "Asian" guy comes in to apply for a job. Or "we need more Asians to meet our quota" and so forth. A White American has many options. So many options they don't even know where to begin. The only barrier to their success, is having motivation and ambition. The rest is options.
I notice all my White American friends walk around like everything is hunky dory. You know why that is? Because there are options. I have options a Black American doesn't have. I was blinded by this "privilege." Because we will always judge. You have to. It's self preservation.
My landlord does things like make people prove they have three times the rent. Know who that excludes? Many people of color. It trickles down. Pay high rent, can't get a job, go broke, go homeless, become a statistic.
People of color always have a chip on their shoulder. Because they know they are a representative of their race to White Americans.
But it is a testament to America that they are attempting to right a ship. Though I wish they wouldn't do it for political reasons.
No person of color with dignity wants a handout. Though, funny how White Americans are perfectly fine with it. Because they aren't judged by a system that was created to stigmatize this. White corporate America for example. Look at the richest Whitest guys in America. Bills Gates, Jeff Bezos, and on and on.
And we're suppose to believe in fair.
At first I thought it was a class system, until I realize a destitute White American has much more hope than a person of color who is destitute. As Chris Rock said about the White waiter who wouldn't trade places with him...and he's rich.
But that's not to blame or be angry at White Americans. They have no idea it's ingrained in them. Regardless of how successful I am, White Americans have and will see me as still a lower class citizen. There is not enough woke to hide this fact. But it's nice of them to try.
And I'm happy to find my own tribe.
Thursday, April 23, 2020
Hollywood Bullshit Phonies During The CoronaVirus
The loudest Hollywood Lefties have disappeared into the CornoVirus smoke. Want to know why?
Because they don't want to be held accountable for their( supposed) altruistic grandstanding.
Chris Evans, the loud mouth idiot who plays Captain America for instance. Here's a moment where the fucker could donate money to his crew to sustain their living expenses during hiatus. Especially since more crew people aren't getting paid during this time. Or Ellen Degeneres. The most notorious inner circle piece of shit. This lesbo worth $400 million used a non-union scab crew to keep filming her show during this lockdown. And hasn't paid her show show crew squat. They haven't followed good guys with loud mouths Jimmy Kimmel, who picked up the tab for his crew or Conan O'Brien who forced a studio to hire his people, who after the Jay Leno debacle, were out of a job. These are the people who understand.
A LOT of productions were shut down because of this. To me, if I were a big money actor, I would take a little bit of my money and disperse it between the crew. It wouldn't even have to be much. 100 crew members at $5,000 a head while you're making $20 million isn't much. And that goodwill goes a LONG way.
But guess what. You know what starts creeping in. The thoughts that people don't think that would be enough. In other words, setting this all up, takes time and effort and there is always the fear of being sued (for whatever dumb reason) because deep down inside you think you understand humans to be shitty people. People who think like this ARE NOT liberals. Nor are they traditional Leftist. They're corporate entities designed to protect image and status. And by doing this truly kind thing, they leave the door open for all sorts of possibilities that could take their place at the table away. See, their criticism of Donald Trump, is their way to hide how money starved they are. They ARE Trump.
They know one picture could ruin them for life. So they hold onto whatever they can get. Whether it be status or bank account. People like Robert Downey Jr. kept his trap shut about his politics because he knows he doesn't want to have to follow through (very smart). Not because he isn't a Lefty, only that by presenting yourself as one, the handouts never end. Debra Messing...where is her donation to the cause? How have we not heard her donating to the crew that was put of work during this time?
I've already donated my stimulus check to service workers.
Time to support the actors who are grateful and care about the working class, instead of these phonies. Keep putting your head in the sand. I hope the union crew (traditionally Lefties) find ways to make this type suffer.
Because they don't want to be held accountable for their( supposed) altruistic grandstanding.
Chris Evans, the loud mouth idiot who plays Captain America for instance. Here's a moment where the fucker could donate money to his crew to sustain their living expenses during hiatus. Especially since more crew people aren't getting paid during this time. Or Ellen Degeneres. The most notorious inner circle piece of shit. This lesbo worth $400 million used a non-union scab crew to keep filming her show during this lockdown. And hasn't paid her show show crew squat. They haven't followed good guys with loud mouths Jimmy Kimmel, who picked up the tab for his crew or Conan O'Brien who forced a studio to hire his people, who after the Jay Leno debacle, were out of a job. These are the people who understand.
A LOT of productions were shut down because of this. To me, if I were a big money actor, I would take a little bit of my money and disperse it between the crew. It wouldn't even have to be much. 100 crew members at $5,000 a head while you're making $20 million isn't much. And that goodwill goes a LONG way.
But guess what. You know what starts creeping in. The thoughts that people don't think that would be enough. In other words, setting this all up, takes time and effort and there is always the fear of being sued (for whatever dumb reason) because deep down inside you think you understand humans to be shitty people. People who think like this ARE NOT liberals. Nor are they traditional Leftist. They're corporate entities designed to protect image and status. And by doing this truly kind thing, they leave the door open for all sorts of possibilities that could take their place at the table away. See, their criticism of Donald Trump, is their way to hide how money starved they are. They ARE Trump.
They know one picture could ruin them for life. So they hold onto whatever they can get. Whether it be status or bank account. People like Robert Downey Jr. kept his trap shut about his politics because he knows he doesn't want to have to follow through (very smart). Not because he isn't a Lefty, only that by presenting yourself as one, the handouts never end. Debra Messing...where is her donation to the cause? How have we not heard her donating to the crew that was put of work during this time?
I've already donated my stimulus check to service workers.
Time to support the actors who are grateful and care about the working class, instead of these phonies. Keep putting your head in the sand. I hope the union crew (traditionally Lefties) find ways to make this type suffer.
Wednesday, April 22, 2020
Scrappy
I've always been scrappy.
I think it comes from being a short person. But also an Asian kid growing up in Ohio.
Short people will be told "no" more times in life than tall people Especially men. Add into the mix, "Asian" and it's an uphill battle.
That leads to the chip on my shoulder. And motivation to outdo what the social norm would be. In high school, I led a pretty rebellious group of people who did what they wanted...in a WASPY rich Mid-Western city. Went into places we were told not to go. Hung out with unsavory characters. And lived...hard. Rich kids always wanted to rebel. Since life was too easy for them. "Less Than Zero" actually portrays their lethargic world, full of apathy and finding ways to rebel (Andrew McCarthy was woefully casted). To me, they were conformist. Trying to fit in to the crowd by doing drugs or drinking or fucking. Breaking barriers, I suppose.
I rebelled against rebellion and then rebelled against that. In the motion picture world, it's that I hate mainstream movies. Hate them. They're poorly made and looks cheap with no stars. Go ahead name five. In the 30's-2000's you could name 20 easily. Stars...not actors...stars. There are no personalities anymore because they can't break molds. Dennis Hopper, for instance, never dealt with the status quo. And kept moving (regardless of his stint in "Speed"). He bent spoons and carnival barked. Not to say money is ever a factor. It isn't. It's going against what is expected.
Backtracking a bit, a friend asked me why people shit on Hollywood if they want to work in it. I don't think it's shitting on Hollywood, as much as figuring a way to live this bohemian life while not conforming to cookie cutter children's movies. YES, they are cookie cutter. And they are comfortable. And they say nothing. But that's commerce.
I'll argue to the death about this point, films should mean more. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.
Scrappy.
I think what's made me less interested in the Hollywood system now is that it's even more a system. The single studio wasn't a bad idea, and yielded incredible movies. They're sort of going towards that again. I mean, how else would we know who Kevin Feige is?
I love being scrappy. I am grateful to have grown up with a sense of fight. I think most of White America love to live in...steady. But that gets boring fast.
I thought about the glass ceiling in Hollywood for the people of color. And most White folk are thinking "dude, give it to the person who is the best for the part" I agree. But allow more stories to be told from the perspective of different people. James Wan can direct an "Aquaman" movie. Men can tell female stories. The problem is when the studios announce a female director or Asian female director or (insert new virtue signal ethnic group) to helm a project. To me, that is the studio using it to promote their phony awareness. It's not to make society change. And, if any of these people took these "handouts" I'm sure they've got a twinge of shame. If they had any pride.
The lesson here is that most of the time, "earning" a position has NOTHING to do with how you make it here. But, if you're scrappy, it's all you got.
I think it comes from being a short person. But also an Asian kid growing up in Ohio.
Short people will be told "no" more times in life than tall people Especially men. Add into the mix, "Asian" and it's an uphill battle.
That leads to the chip on my shoulder. And motivation to outdo what the social norm would be. In high school, I led a pretty rebellious group of people who did what they wanted...in a WASPY rich Mid-Western city. Went into places we were told not to go. Hung out with unsavory characters. And lived...hard. Rich kids always wanted to rebel. Since life was too easy for them. "Less Than Zero" actually portrays their lethargic world, full of apathy and finding ways to rebel (Andrew McCarthy was woefully casted). To me, they were conformist. Trying to fit in to the crowd by doing drugs or drinking or fucking. Breaking barriers, I suppose.
I rebelled against rebellion and then rebelled against that. In the motion picture world, it's that I hate mainstream movies. Hate them. They're poorly made and looks cheap with no stars. Go ahead name five. In the 30's-2000's you could name 20 easily. Stars...not actors...stars. There are no personalities anymore because they can't break molds. Dennis Hopper, for instance, never dealt with the status quo. And kept moving (regardless of his stint in "Speed"). He bent spoons and carnival barked. Not to say money is ever a factor. It isn't. It's going against what is expected.
Backtracking a bit, a friend asked me why people shit on Hollywood if they want to work in it. I don't think it's shitting on Hollywood, as much as figuring a way to live this bohemian life while not conforming to cookie cutter children's movies. YES, they are cookie cutter. And they are comfortable. And they say nothing. But that's commerce.
I'll argue to the death about this point, films should mean more. Otherwise, you're wasting your time.
Scrappy.
I think what's made me less interested in the Hollywood system now is that it's even more a system. The single studio wasn't a bad idea, and yielded incredible movies. They're sort of going towards that again. I mean, how else would we know who Kevin Feige is?
I love being scrappy. I am grateful to have grown up with a sense of fight. I think most of White America love to live in...steady. But that gets boring fast.
I thought about the glass ceiling in Hollywood for the people of color. And most White folk are thinking "dude, give it to the person who is the best for the part" I agree. But allow more stories to be told from the perspective of different people. James Wan can direct an "Aquaman" movie. Men can tell female stories. The problem is when the studios announce a female director or Asian female director or (insert new virtue signal ethnic group) to helm a project. To me, that is the studio using it to promote their phony awareness. It's not to make society change. And, if any of these people took these "handouts" I'm sure they've got a twinge of shame. If they had any pride.
The lesson here is that most of the time, "earning" a position has NOTHING to do with how you make it here. But, if you're scrappy, it's all you got.
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Self Conscience
I'm always baffled how stunning people have issues with their looks on screen. I recall many stories of actors and actresses that refuse to see themselves in the theater. Or having seen themselves 3 stories tall, quickly left the business. I suppose they never saw what we saw.
I listened to a story director Taylor Hackford spoke of on the "Against All Odds" commentary track in which actress Rachel Ward, in her prime, was livid over a shot he used in the movie. She claimed that he had used a close up of her in a one piece bathing suit that she felt was unflattering.
Except...he never used that shot. See, in her mind, she pieced it together that he had. Which is an odd delusion since...I mean...Rachel fucking Ward:
I mean, many actresses would've died to have her looks and body. But that reminds me of some of the projects I've been making.
There are INCREDIBLY insecure, self-conscious people. I definitely include myself when it comes to have my image taken. But if your bread and butter is your image, it's not hard to see why one protects it with gusto. To the rest of the world, Rachel was a stunner. To her, she saw all her flaws. I HAVE to be more aware of this. As a filmmaker. Because, in previous outings I've typically told the actresses to relax and not worry about those things. Which is probably the dumbest thing to tell them. Instead, it's no comfort to tell them that all of this is in their deluded mind. Which is what my statement implies. It made me really consider that. Since most people, if not everyone, has some concept what they think they look like.
Being more sensitive to these things instead of being dismissive is a pitfall we do not realize. In most stories of actors, we genuinely believe they don't mind their image. But they spend a lifetime cultivating it. Even character actors do. Regardless of, if it came down to looks alone.
My friend made a film where there was a model in it. And every chance she got, we can see she is posing, like a model. Her stance, her walk...stiff and weird. She could not shake this need to want to not leave that perception behind. And I don't blame her. Her insecurity lead to backpedaling to what she knew. If you lose confidence in the director or project, this happens a lot. Most actors go back to what they know best. And you can see it in "Against All Odds." Actors know their best side and they pose as such.
If you plan on directing, be very mindful of these things. Especially with elderly talent. They don't suffer fools to begin with, at least show you are considerate.
I listened to a story director Taylor Hackford spoke of on the "Against All Odds" commentary track in which actress Rachel Ward, in her prime, was livid over a shot he used in the movie. She claimed that he had used a close up of her in a one piece bathing suit that she felt was unflattering.
Except...he never used that shot. See, in her mind, she pieced it together that he had. Which is an odd delusion since...I mean...Rachel fucking Ward:
There are INCREDIBLY insecure, self-conscious people. I definitely include myself when it comes to have my image taken. But if your bread and butter is your image, it's not hard to see why one protects it with gusto. To the rest of the world, Rachel was a stunner. To her, she saw all her flaws. I HAVE to be more aware of this. As a filmmaker. Because, in previous outings I've typically told the actresses to relax and not worry about those things. Which is probably the dumbest thing to tell them. Instead, it's no comfort to tell them that all of this is in their deluded mind. Which is what my statement implies. It made me really consider that. Since most people, if not everyone, has some concept what they think they look like.
Being more sensitive to these things instead of being dismissive is a pitfall we do not realize. In most stories of actors, we genuinely believe they don't mind their image. But they spend a lifetime cultivating it. Even character actors do. Regardless of, if it came down to looks alone.
My friend made a film where there was a model in it. And every chance she got, we can see she is posing, like a model. Her stance, her walk...stiff and weird. She could not shake this need to want to not leave that perception behind. And I don't blame her. Her insecurity lead to backpedaling to what she knew. If you lose confidence in the director or project, this happens a lot. Most actors go back to what they know best. And you can see it in "Against All Odds." Actors know their best side and they pose as such.
If you plan on directing, be very mindful of these things. Especially with elderly talent. They don't suffer fools to begin with, at least show you are considerate.
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Well Rounded People
This isolation time has given me great opportunity to re-focus on all the things in life that matter. And it does feel great to dump some dead weight.
If you've ever felt obligated to do something or deal with someone or whatever, this is the stuff that builds up in the back of your mind that grows resentment. A lot of times the thing that festers is usually the thing you dwell on. In this quiet serenity of learning and self-awareness, it's been good to re-evaluate old friendships from the past and reconnect. These are the people that keep you grounded.
In the entertainment field, loyalty goes as far as what the person can do for you. For the most part, I've matured past it. Grown tired of constantly doling out opinions that fall on deaf ears. Like it matters actually. What I miss are the real people who talk like human beings. People out here talk in blurbs because they don't possess any more depth than that. Because they're "movers and shakers" No one spends the time to talk like real people. This attitude is grating, to be perfectly honest, and happy to dump it. Because our society is rampant with it as it is.
What really hit me was when, on my last trip to Cincinnati, I visited my best friend's house and she has teenage children now, and is a professional, and we chatted...like human beings. The people I've surrounded myself with seem to only talk about movies. Nothing about life. And movies should be a reflection of life, not the opposite. I have to really keep an eye on myself when it comes to falling too far down that road. Because, if you consider your friendships out here, what other things do you REALLY have in common if it isn't talking about films or film business?
Many people out here have shuttered great relationships over the fact that they knew nothing but talking about movies. They have no other sense or ability to dissect a conversation...or listen. Sure, it's a quick shorthand to know how experienced the person is, but it still feels like a constant swinging dick contest where you're always presenting your resume. And incidentally, most people don't do their research anyway.
Isn't it funny, if you work in the movie business, when you run into someone who isn't, how foreign they seem?
And I'm guilty of it. And must learn to be grounded to honest real salt of the Earth people.
Have some interest in other things and other people. I, luckily, see a bunch of my filmmaking friends travel and do things other than make movies. Well rounded people tell better stories.
If you've ever felt obligated to do something or deal with someone or whatever, this is the stuff that builds up in the back of your mind that grows resentment. A lot of times the thing that festers is usually the thing you dwell on. In this quiet serenity of learning and self-awareness, it's been good to re-evaluate old friendships from the past and reconnect. These are the people that keep you grounded.
In the entertainment field, loyalty goes as far as what the person can do for you. For the most part, I've matured past it. Grown tired of constantly doling out opinions that fall on deaf ears. Like it matters actually. What I miss are the real people who talk like human beings. People out here talk in blurbs because they don't possess any more depth than that. Because they're "movers and shakers" No one spends the time to talk like real people. This attitude is grating, to be perfectly honest, and happy to dump it. Because our society is rampant with it as it is.
What really hit me was when, on my last trip to Cincinnati, I visited my best friend's house and she has teenage children now, and is a professional, and we chatted...like human beings. The people I've surrounded myself with seem to only talk about movies. Nothing about life. And movies should be a reflection of life, not the opposite. I have to really keep an eye on myself when it comes to falling too far down that road. Because, if you consider your friendships out here, what other things do you REALLY have in common if it isn't talking about films or film business?
Many people out here have shuttered great relationships over the fact that they knew nothing but talking about movies. They have no other sense or ability to dissect a conversation...or listen. Sure, it's a quick shorthand to know how experienced the person is, but it still feels like a constant swinging dick contest where you're always presenting your resume. And incidentally, most people don't do their research anyway.
Isn't it funny, if you work in the movie business, when you run into someone who isn't, how foreign they seem?
And I'm guilty of it. And must learn to be grounded to honest real salt of the Earth people.
Have some interest in other things and other people. I, luckily, see a bunch of my filmmaking friends travel and do things other than make movies. Well rounded people tell better stories.
Fred Dekker "Night Of The Creeps" Lesson In Casting
I was listening to commentary track on this classic flick and director Fred Dekker brought up an interesting point...he casted his dream girl and directed her to be seductive towards a guy who he saw as himself. In other words, he was able to re-create his own life and have the outcome be what he wanted.
I thought back on all the project I made, and for the most part...yeah. I live vicariously through my projects. Not anything directly, but I think being a filmmaker or director gives you the opportunity to re-shift your life the way you wished it could've been. Or address issues that you may have wanted it to be. OR provide an answer for some deep seeded pain that may have been nagging you. For me, it has been really nagging things that I like to address in films. My friend, who directs features, had that approach as well. In his own projects, he addresses the relationship problems he has. His anger, pain of betrayal all goes up on the screen. Then he feels he can file those feelings away.
I believe that's what a LOT of us get into making movies. So we can control the world where sometimes in reality, we feel helpless. If that's the motive for living in the land of make believe, I don't think it's a bad thing. Injecting your movies with something personal most definitely adds to the universal theme for the viewer.
I think making movies definitely allows you to exorcise your demons. Writing does as well. But it seems seeing it realizes a dream. For a lot of filmmakers, it's a way to right a past wrong (also "write a wrong") And if you struggle with those questions, most likely someone else will.
I dig Fred Dekker's 80's movies. Most fell through the cracks but found their way to my Middle School watch rotation. I guess we weren't the money makers back then. A little perhaps. 'The Blob," "Night Of The Creeps" and "The Monster Squad" were trifectas for me. They were something like a perverted Steven Spielberg movie. Some of the same crew even. But something in Dekker's melancholy seemed to feel more honest than Spielberg's constant "Pollyanna" world view.
But I digress, Fred Dekker was brilliant to cast Jill Whitlow, as it's hard NOT to have a crush on her. And then she becomes a flamethrowing badass, and simply becomes every boy's dream. These were the girls we pined after during middle school dances. These are the memories we have of endless possibilities with the girls of our dreams. Many of us make movies to make those dreams come true.
I thought back on all the project I made, and for the most part...yeah. I live vicariously through my projects. Not anything directly, but I think being a filmmaker or director gives you the opportunity to re-shift your life the way you wished it could've been. Or address issues that you may have wanted it to be. OR provide an answer for some deep seeded pain that may have been nagging you. For me, it has been really nagging things that I like to address in films. My friend, who directs features, had that approach as well. In his own projects, he addresses the relationship problems he has. His anger, pain of betrayal all goes up on the screen. Then he feels he can file those feelings away.
I believe that's what a LOT of us get into making movies. So we can control the world where sometimes in reality, we feel helpless. If that's the motive for living in the land of make believe, I don't think it's a bad thing. Injecting your movies with something personal most definitely adds to the universal theme for the viewer.
I think making movies definitely allows you to exorcise your demons. Writing does as well. But it seems seeing it realizes a dream. For a lot of filmmakers, it's a way to right a past wrong (also "write a wrong") And if you struggle with those questions, most likely someone else will.
I dig Fred Dekker's 80's movies. Most fell through the cracks but found their way to my Middle School watch rotation. I guess we weren't the money makers back then. A little perhaps. 'The Blob," "Night Of The Creeps" and "The Monster Squad" were trifectas for me. They were something like a perverted Steven Spielberg movie. Some of the same crew even. But something in Dekker's melancholy seemed to feel more honest than Spielberg's constant "Pollyanna" world view.
But I digress, Fred Dekker was brilliant to cast Jill Whitlow, as it's hard NOT to have a crush on her. And then she becomes a flamethrowing badass, and simply becomes every boy's dream. These were the girls we pined after during middle school dances. These are the memories we have of endless possibilities with the girls of our dreams. Many of us make movies to make those dreams come true.
Friday, April 17, 2020
This Started Out As A Muscle Building Over 40 Blog
So what happened?
Ha! I got lazy. As most of us get busy or tired...or...sigh...old.
Everything after 40 hurts. You will experience it, guaranteed. And I'm very sorry to tell you that. It happens almost overnight. Literally. I also asked my high school friend, and she told me the same. It happened overnight. It's like the universe knows you're not suppose to exert yourself after that.
But I have that Asian gene that ages slow (until a certain point, then everything sags). My pal Willie Leong is older than me, but has much more energy. He stunt coordinates for movies. Most people tell me I don't look 45 but, holy shit, do I feel it. Tired and sore with no reason.
Many things happen as you sleep I guess.
So, during this quarantine, I started to do body weight exercises. To regain some abs. Pretty bad since I eat total garbage. But again, metabolism plays a large role as well. White folk react to processed foods differently then Asians. Sugars really hit the midsection hard. Though, the white rice diet of most Asians hasn't necessarily been that good either (all sugar). I've abused myself recently with, just junk food. And I actually don't have an excuse. The grocery store I go to...is in lower income community, and they wiped the shelves clean of crap and left fruits and vegetables and salads. I dug deep and found my chips and Little Debbie snack cakes. Ugh.
But, I found a great YouTube video that shreds you up in 7 minutes:
Boy does this make me want to vomit. But it really motivates you without having to use gym gear. I start with 10 minutes of yoga stretches and go into this. I also downloaded an application for my phone that has a 30 minute ab work out. So between yoga, this and the app...I think I've covered my morning.
So great waking up, having a cup of Earl Grey tea with lemon and some zinc, vitamin C and hitting this workout.
Let me know if this helps with you when you turn 40.
Happy abb'ing!
Ha! I got lazy. As most of us get busy or tired...or...sigh...old.
Everything after 40 hurts. You will experience it, guaranteed. And I'm very sorry to tell you that. It happens almost overnight. Literally. I also asked my high school friend, and she told me the same. It happened overnight. It's like the universe knows you're not suppose to exert yourself after that.
But I have that Asian gene that ages slow (until a certain point, then everything sags). My pal Willie Leong is older than me, but has much more energy. He stunt coordinates for movies. Most people tell me I don't look 45 but, holy shit, do I feel it. Tired and sore with no reason.
Many things happen as you sleep I guess.
So, during this quarantine, I started to do body weight exercises. To regain some abs. Pretty bad since I eat total garbage. But again, metabolism plays a large role as well. White folk react to processed foods differently then Asians. Sugars really hit the midsection hard. Though, the white rice diet of most Asians hasn't necessarily been that good either (all sugar). I've abused myself recently with, just junk food. And I actually don't have an excuse. The grocery store I go to...is in lower income community, and they wiped the shelves clean of crap and left fruits and vegetables and salads. I dug deep and found my chips and Little Debbie snack cakes. Ugh.
But, I found a great YouTube video that shreds you up in 7 minutes:
So great waking up, having a cup of Earl Grey tea with lemon and some zinc, vitamin C and hitting this workout.
Let me know if this helps with you when you turn 40.
Happy abb'ing!
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Having "It"
In the movie business, there is something called "it." That thing where when they walk in the room, you know they belong in movies. And it's not being "on" which a TON of actors do. That is, being obnoxiously loud to get attention. Or are overly dramatic, or sullen or whatever Method actory shit you do. But it's inherent in the person. I've been around people who were plucked to have some fame, Danny Glover, Cary Elwes, Steven Seagal to name a few. Something inherent in them seemed to stick out. None are the attention seeking loud person. Even Seagal, in his ridiculous over the top career, seemed more at ease in his demands than being...difficult out loud. Mel Gibson, though overtly excitable, seemed to command a room (saw him at work) and Johnny Depp, quietly moves around, adorned with Gucci and fashionably loud, but when you walk in a room and your back is turned, you still know someone is in the room.
Most of you don't have that and will never get it regardless of what you do. Enviable to have, to say the least' I once shook the massive hand of director Delbert Mann who directed Rita Hayworth. At the time (in college) this was all so distant and foreign and lacked the historical relevance then. However, I never could forget his presence in giving me advice on working in movies. He had a presence and he stood out. Never mind he was about 6'7" and had the hand of a baseball glove. The guy was on God level. Much like I'd imagine Victor Fleming, or Billy Wilder or John Ford. These guys loom over people to command respect and...you can imagine how young ingenues could be smitten over them. Because they were bigger than life (no one is like these names anymore. Legends are no longer mysterious, they're pinatas for us to swipe at).
People like Marilyn Monroe, for instance. There were plenty of drop dead beautiful blondes. Before and after her. And yet, Marilyn is still the gold standard. VERY rare and thus went through life with horrible behavior on set. Most tolerated her to work with her. Because it wasn't just attempting to exploit her sex appeal, it was also that ULTRA rare factor that she had that made her a star. I have an actress friend who spends hours to get ready all the time...to the public. She doesn't and won't ever have "it." That "it" factor is also towards men. And it isn't always looks. Interesting men had screen presence. Like Peter Lorre but were also dashing like Errol Flynn. In (sort of contemporary terms) Roger Moore couldn't be denied. He's debonair with a tint of self-effacing humor about himself (as was Marilyn). Actors these days are serious and don't have the courage to look the fool. Think about how well curated their careers are that cut off their abilities. Brad Pitt desperately, and constantly, wanted to do oddball comedies to get out of that box ("Johnny Suede" or "Burn After Reading").
If describing "It" is hard, try finding "It." It's near impossible.
Because sometimes people work on camera and sometimes they don't. Plenty of audition tapes you can look through online to see how many people are deluded to thinking they have something. Most people don't know what that is, or can even articulate it. But, it doesn't walk in often. A lot of people think they can see it, and is quite disappointing when someone looks great but can't act. But can act but doesn't translate on film. Or that the "chemistry" between two people don't look right. I think that's what a lot of us filmmaker are looking for. I think Orson Welles most definitely fought to find that blend. Though he used reparatory cast, he already had them on the ready. To me, that is the thrill of making movies is watching it just...pop. And you see it. You see things pop on screen. And that's where the excitement comes in.
Just trying to find "It" and still searching.
Most of you don't have that and will never get it regardless of what you do. Enviable to have, to say the least' I once shook the massive hand of director Delbert Mann who directed Rita Hayworth. At the time (in college) this was all so distant and foreign and lacked the historical relevance then. However, I never could forget his presence in giving me advice on working in movies. He had a presence and he stood out. Never mind he was about 6'7" and had the hand of a baseball glove. The guy was on God level. Much like I'd imagine Victor Fleming, or Billy Wilder or John Ford. These guys loom over people to command respect and...you can imagine how young ingenues could be smitten over them. Because they were bigger than life (no one is like these names anymore. Legends are no longer mysterious, they're pinatas for us to swipe at).
People like Marilyn Monroe, for instance. There were plenty of drop dead beautiful blondes. Before and after her. And yet, Marilyn is still the gold standard. VERY rare and thus went through life with horrible behavior on set. Most tolerated her to work with her. Because it wasn't just attempting to exploit her sex appeal, it was also that ULTRA rare factor that she had that made her a star. I have an actress friend who spends hours to get ready all the time...to the public. She doesn't and won't ever have "it." That "it" factor is also towards men. And it isn't always looks. Interesting men had screen presence. Like Peter Lorre but were also dashing like Errol Flynn. In (sort of contemporary terms) Roger Moore couldn't be denied. He's debonair with a tint of self-effacing humor about himself (as was Marilyn). Actors these days are serious and don't have the courage to look the fool. Think about how well curated their careers are that cut off their abilities. Brad Pitt desperately, and constantly, wanted to do oddball comedies to get out of that box ("Johnny Suede" or "Burn After Reading").
If describing "It" is hard, try finding "It." It's near impossible.
Because sometimes people work on camera and sometimes they don't. Plenty of audition tapes you can look through online to see how many people are deluded to thinking they have something. Most people don't know what that is, or can even articulate it. But, it doesn't walk in often. A lot of people think they can see it, and is quite disappointing when someone looks great but can't act. But can act but doesn't translate on film. Or that the "chemistry" between two people don't look right. I think that's what a lot of us filmmaker are looking for. I think Orson Welles most definitely fought to find that blend. Though he used reparatory cast, he already had them on the ready. To me, that is the thrill of making movies is watching it just...pop. And you see it. You see things pop on screen. And that's where the excitement comes in.
Just trying to find "It" and still searching.
2007 Recession
A young guy I tutor in filmmaking on film asked me what it was like in 2007-2008 Recession. Was I working then?
Answer: yes. But in a really boring job.
I had to think back. Yes, people...2 years is long time in the mind of a boozer. And I simply told him "I was too broke and too drunk to care, and it was the best time ever."
To a lot of people creating security happens as you get older. When you hit 40, most of us quickly understood we had to take care of certain things like health care and living a little more comfortably. Because by this time most are married, have children or are too tired. In the film industry most sought out jobs in easier settings. I forgot to tell him that entertainment is usually never hit by any recession. It's the only thing that people are still willing to spend money on.
In this case, virus has kept us all away from a film set, for a very long time. Indefinite. Usually, this would be a perfect time for theaters to rake in some serious money. Something to distract us. But if you're an actor, director, writer or any other crew...it's going to be a while before you get back on a set.
I think the more you have, the more you think you have to protect. It seems a certain point they've taken everything from you, so what difference did it make if they took that as well. I think most of you who struggle out there lived like I did back then. Without a sense of financial ramifications. In fact, back then, I sort of laughed. I owned no home nor had any retirement plan. I'm in the middle now. I don't terrorize myself with the statistics. Though I am also tired of not being able to make things. We get restless.
Answer: yes. But in a really boring job.
I had to think back. Yes, people...2 years is long time in the mind of a boozer. And I simply told him "I was too broke and too drunk to care, and it was the best time ever."
To a lot of people creating security happens as you get older. When you hit 40, most of us quickly understood we had to take care of certain things like health care and living a little more comfortably. Because by this time most are married, have children or are too tired. In the film industry most sought out jobs in easier settings. I forgot to tell him that entertainment is usually never hit by any recession. It's the only thing that people are still willing to spend money on.
In this case, virus has kept us all away from a film set, for a very long time. Indefinite. Usually, this would be a perfect time for theaters to rake in some serious money. Something to distract us. But if you're an actor, director, writer or any other crew...it's going to be a while before you get back on a set.
I think the more you have, the more you think you have to protect. It seems a certain point they've taken everything from you, so what difference did it make if they took that as well. I think most of you who struggle out there lived like I did back then. Without a sense of financial ramifications. In fact, back then, I sort of laughed. I owned no home nor had any retirement plan. I'm in the middle now. I don't terrorize myself with the statistics. Though I am also tired of not being able to make things. We get restless.
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
I Didn't Curse Anyone
A girl reached out to me years ago and wanted to talk to me about photography. She and I had a mutual friend and agreed to meet for tea. She is from the Midwest. Wholesome, kind gentle and really sweet. She had a pretty decent job working for reality television which segued into a really serious union gig (she was in the editor's union EARLY...which by the way, I HIGHLY recommend hiring women editors. Their timing and rhythm surpasses men). Until the virus shutdown occurred. I suspect it really hurt a few things in her life.
But, on our initial meeting I was very blunt about Hollywood. Same as I am here. Nothing about it is easy and if you want to do something, forget these assholes who create barriers or roadblocks and so forth. Typical "welcome to Hollywood, hope you have the stomach for it." Kind but blunt. I didn't know her, but I know she is incredibly sweet.
She told me she was newly married. By instinct I blurted "oh man"
Kindly, she wondered what I meant by that.
Then I explained "I've never had friends who came out to Los Angeles, wanted to pursue this career path, ANY Hollywood career path, and their relationship survive. Hard enough it's just living. But hustling as well? A few of my film school friends were married, but ended up separating shortly after. You can get married out here, BUT having someone come out never seems to work."
It is the truth. It isn't fact.
She seemed rattled by what I said. Naturally. So I tried to backpedal "you seem very nice, and I'm sure he is as well, but...I don't know what it is. It just happens."
She basically was surprised how "negative" I was about it and seemed also to absorb the information but not necessarily believe it. Nothing confrontational. I simply told her this.
NOT that she needed to know the statistics, mind you. I don't even know that. But it's pretty obvious on some levels, relationships are HARD. Relationships when you HAVE to be selfish is damn near impossible.
The obvious thing is this...if you have someone who isn't in the business, they will understand your pursuit and most likely champion you over it, but in the end, that journey is very lonely. On both sides. You grow up and apart and you won't know it until it happens. These two attempted to play house and years later they are separated.
Regardless of how much they understand or are understanding this pursuit swallows people whole. And I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me.
I made a tentative date to meet up with her again after this blows over. Curious on how she is doing. It doesn't seem right to talk over the phone over it. It seems a nice cup of tea and chat is in order. What other pearls of wisdom may I add to her future endeavors? Focus on the good person you are in life and that your dream will sometimes rob you of normalcy.
But, on our initial meeting I was very blunt about Hollywood. Same as I am here. Nothing about it is easy and if you want to do something, forget these assholes who create barriers or roadblocks and so forth. Typical "welcome to Hollywood, hope you have the stomach for it." Kind but blunt. I didn't know her, but I know she is incredibly sweet.
She told me she was newly married. By instinct I blurted "oh man"
Kindly, she wondered what I meant by that.
Then I explained "I've never had friends who came out to Los Angeles, wanted to pursue this career path, ANY Hollywood career path, and their relationship survive. Hard enough it's just living. But hustling as well? A few of my film school friends were married, but ended up separating shortly after. You can get married out here, BUT having someone come out never seems to work."
It is the truth. It isn't fact.
She seemed rattled by what I said. Naturally. So I tried to backpedal "you seem very nice, and I'm sure he is as well, but...I don't know what it is. It just happens."
She basically was surprised how "negative" I was about it and seemed also to absorb the information but not necessarily believe it. Nothing confrontational. I simply told her this.
NOT that she needed to know the statistics, mind you. I don't even know that. But it's pretty obvious on some levels, relationships are HARD. Relationships when you HAVE to be selfish is damn near impossible.
The obvious thing is this...if you have someone who isn't in the business, they will understand your pursuit and most likely champion you over it, but in the end, that journey is very lonely. On both sides. You grow up and apart and you won't know it until it happens. These two attempted to play house and years later they are separated.
Regardless of how much they understand or are understanding this pursuit swallows people whole. And I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me.
I made a tentative date to meet up with her again after this blows over. Curious on how she is doing. It doesn't seem right to talk over the phone over it. It seems a nice cup of tea and chat is in order. What other pearls of wisdom may I add to her future endeavors? Focus on the good person you are in life and that your dream will sometimes rob you of normalcy.
Your Dream
It is probably your aspiration to have some control in the movie business, if you've come out here to pursue it. Most have an all or nothing mentality, which is pretty much how you either succeed big or fail big. But failure should not be your fear. If you never tried, you already failed. But if you're "in the game" long enough, small things lead to big things. Having a good attitude whilst pursuing your goal is essential, though not required.
Part of pursuing this dream is also handling rejection.
Rejection is tough. You really have to switch your mind into this thinking that none of it is personal (much like dating). They don't want you in their project for a myriad of reasons, and frankly, most of them are dumb. OR, they don't like your script for some reason and offer dumb suggestions. OR they don't like your previous films and think the execution isn't for them. Again, the strangest reasons and everyone will casually lie to you to keep you on their radar. Again, William Goldman "no one knows."
His commentary track on "Harper" is perhaps the most honest take on the movie industry. From someone as successful as him, one should listen.
So none of this is relevant if you have "fuck you" money. I don't have "fuck you" money, but I do have "I don't need you" money. This type of money doesn't rely on being accepted by them, but it definitely has limitations. "I don't need you" money is essentially telling people you don't want to keep beating your head against a wall.
But for those with a dream...and most of these are pretty vague ("I want to be an actor" "I want to direct" "I want to write") I would say start looking it as work. I mean real work. Work that (if you're truly passionate about requires the thickest of skins). No amount of discouragement, though remain smart about your moves. Most people who are navigating this trench aren't going about it the way I would recommend. But there is no path to dodge land mines. So there's that as well.
I would say, in terms of dreams...or more accurately, passion... be VERY serious about it. I know a few people who frivolously go about it. Study. Study. STUDY! People you admire. They have insight. Forget the personal stuff, like you see on "Entertainment Tonight." Learn to listen closely, and be very serious about your work. But that doesn't mean being a serious person. It just means tapping into the core of why you are doing it. The residual effect of super serious people are un-fun productions (not that it has to be fun, but...it's grueling). Most people are scared about this, and grow defensive, because the issue is...if you care about something...it will hurt you. Allow it to. Admit that it does. Too many of you out there thinking having a thick hard exterior makes you a strong person. It makes you look dumb and everyone can see it.
The work is most important. Over anything else. It is what is etched in film. And will follow you.
So it better be something you care about.
Part of pursuing this dream is also handling rejection.
Rejection is tough. You really have to switch your mind into this thinking that none of it is personal (much like dating). They don't want you in their project for a myriad of reasons, and frankly, most of them are dumb. OR, they don't like your script for some reason and offer dumb suggestions. OR they don't like your previous films and think the execution isn't for them. Again, the strangest reasons and everyone will casually lie to you to keep you on their radar. Again, William Goldman "no one knows."
His commentary track on "Harper" is perhaps the most honest take on the movie industry. From someone as successful as him, one should listen.
So none of this is relevant if you have "fuck you" money. I don't have "fuck you" money, but I do have "I don't need you" money. This type of money doesn't rely on being accepted by them, but it definitely has limitations. "I don't need you" money is essentially telling people you don't want to keep beating your head against a wall.
But for those with a dream...and most of these are pretty vague ("I want to be an actor" "I want to direct" "I want to write") I would say start looking it as work. I mean real work. Work that (if you're truly passionate about requires the thickest of skins). No amount of discouragement, though remain smart about your moves. Most people who are navigating this trench aren't going about it the way I would recommend. But there is no path to dodge land mines. So there's that as well.
I would say, in terms of dreams...or more accurately, passion... be VERY serious about it. I know a few people who frivolously go about it. Study. Study. STUDY! People you admire. They have insight. Forget the personal stuff, like you see on "Entertainment Tonight." Learn to listen closely, and be very serious about your work. But that doesn't mean being a serious person. It just means tapping into the core of why you are doing it. The residual effect of super serious people are un-fun productions (not that it has to be fun, but...it's grueling). Most people are scared about this, and grow defensive, because the issue is...if you care about something...it will hurt you. Allow it to. Admit that it does. Too many of you out there thinking having a thick hard exterior makes you a strong person. It makes you look dumb and everyone can see it.
The work is most important. Over anything else. It is what is etched in film. And will follow you.
So it better be something you care about.
Tuesday, April 14, 2020
Slow Down
I was talking to a friend recently, and we both agreed that it was probably good that Los Angeles closed down a while and slowed. I think this city (probably like New York) doesn't understand the concept of rest. I certainly didn't. Even when I was supposedly resting, I was doing things. Slowing down was the best thing that could happen to this city. Because it forced us all into a common goal. To live. A lot of people took that opportunity to screw over their fellow citizen and hoard supplies (which, by the way, from my standpoint at the store, they're usually the welfare cases...in other words, hoarding with our tax money). Others stepped up and did great community service work as donating meals to children whose sole nutrition came from school (which had been closed, most likely for the year).
The virus made us all really hit the breaks on our lives. I know in Los Angeles, we rush everywhere...if not to beat traffic, because we over stretched in our schedules. Families and friends to contend with. I'm astonished anyone can have a normal life (tranquility).
This hustle and bustle of Los Angeles desperately needed to pause. Though it probably caused great anxiety now as (if you own your own business) people are considering their options about their own economy. For those with nothing, this means very little. With those with anything it means something, Those with nothing continue to live their lives. Selfish as it may seem, they always look out for number one. It's simple, they've been learning how to survive since childhood. "Get them before they get you." That isn't my philosophy, though I live a solitary life, I constantly wonder what I can do to help. Which I've done what I can. Those in L.A. who have barely survive can only maintain their survival.
We were too comfortable in our buzzy state. Schedules, deadlines, being pushed here then there. This slowed us down to think now. Many probably now realize what or who is most important in their lives.
This is a good thing coming out of this chaos.
The virus made us all really hit the breaks on our lives. I know in Los Angeles, we rush everywhere...if not to beat traffic, because we over stretched in our schedules. Families and friends to contend with. I'm astonished anyone can have a normal life (tranquility).
This hustle and bustle of Los Angeles desperately needed to pause. Though it probably caused great anxiety now as (if you own your own business) people are considering their options about their own economy. For those with nothing, this means very little. With those with anything it means something, Those with nothing continue to live their lives. Selfish as it may seem, they always look out for number one. It's simple, they've been learning how to survive since childhood. "Get them before they get you." That isn't my philosophy, though I live a solitary life, I constantly wonder what I can do to help. Which I've done what I can. Those in L.A. who have barely survive can only maintain their survival.
We were too comfortable in our buzzy state. Schedules, deadlines, being pushed here then there. This slowed us down to think now. Many probably now realize what or who is most important in their lives.
This is a good thing coming out of this chaos.
Monday, April 13, 2020
Why?
If you've read this far, more than likely you're probably thinking "look, asshole, if you hate Hollywood so much, why the fuck are you doing it?"
First, I work from the inside, sideways. Which means I see the politics and the waste and stupidity of commerce over human stories. Most other countries who fund their cinema, make human interest stories. Do they make money? Not really. But they're good for the soul. How much is that worth to you?
That said, nothing wrong with making things that are "cool." I have plenty of friends who make grindhouse, drive-in theater schlock and are proud of it. And they're really entertaining. But that fades quickly. The ones that speak to the person are the stories I really dig. For instance, anything John Sayles has done. His money maker is/was being a script doctor. However, the movies he directs don't make any money. They're awesome, get BIG named stars and cinematographers, but not many people will go to a theater to watch. Critically acclaimed but not for the masses.
Which, incidentally, movies for the masses obviously have a value. It rakes in the money for studios to give people like Sayles a chance to make his movies. HOWEVER, people go with whatever you put out. If you give them "Kramer vs. Kramer" that's what they'll go see. Society seemed a lot more interested in those stories then. Now you can't address this without it being labeled a "Lifetime" movie. "A Marriage Story" recently bucked that trend. What's that?...1 in 10,000 flicks since then?
Anyway, I work in movies to tell the stories I want to tell. Pretty simple. I frequently tell people I don't really care if people do watch them, but what I really meant to include was...I want the RIGHT people to watch it. I have an issue with Hollywood because they don't really take a stand in regards to this. They are a business...multi-corporate at this point and slowly swallowing up and semblance of art. Some of you, seek these out. Or are sites where they direct you to these esoteric flicks. So you have an inside scoop. But it isn't the mainstream. Nor should it...I don't think. It's entertainment first, which is cool BUT for me...it's addressing a lot of questions I have for human interactions. As I've said before...people are interesting...space aliens or comic book people are not. They are a representation of humans, sometimes linked to human traits but do not share the anthropology of humans (though some make a good link to it..."Black Panther" was smart to do so).
I have many questions, also, of my own behavior. Films to me are dreams and memories realized. And they battle each other out in that "what if" universe. Yes, it's a selfish endeavor. But the bottom line is...if it spoke to ONE person, then the job was done. I've got certain people who are impressed by going this route. Others think it's cinema masturbation. I prefer being much more specific in human idiosyncracies. They are much more interesting to me. And my investment is that specific people will "get it" too. What I'm addressing is that Hollywood loves a sweeping generalizations. Which they pound into submission. When you put a microscope into behavior, I think it means more to people who catch subtlety.
First, I work from the inside, sideways. Which means I see the politics and the waste and stupidity of commerce over human stories. Most other countries who fund their cinema, make human interest stories. Do they make money? Not really. But they're good for the soul. How much is that worth to you?
That said, nothing wrong with making things that are "cool." I have plenty of friends who make grindhouse, drive-in theater schlock and are proud of it. And they're really entertaining. But that fades quickly. The ones that speak to the person are the stories I really dig. For instance, anything John Sayles has done. His money maker is/was being a script doctor. However, the movies he directs don't make any money. They're awesome, get BIG named stars and cinematographers, but not many people will go to a theater to watch. Critically acclaimed but not for the masses.
Which, incidentally, movies for the masses obviously have a value. It rakes in the money for studios to give people like Sayles a chance to make his movies. HOWEVER, people go with whatever you put out. If you give them "Kramer vs. Kramer" that's what they'll go see. Society seemed a lot more interested in those stories then. Now you can't address this without it being labeled a "Lifetime" movie. "A Marriage Story" recently bucked that trend. What's that?...1 in 10,000 flicks since then?
Anyway, I work in movies to tell the stories I want to tell. Pretty simple. I frequently tell people I don't really care if people do watch them, but what I really meant to include was...I want the RIGHT people to watch it. I have an issue with Hollywood because they don't really take a stand in regards to this. They are a business...multi-corporate at this point and slowly swallowing up and semblance of art. Some of you, seek these out. Or are sites where they direct you to these esoteric flicks. So you have an inside scoop. But it isn't the mainstream. Nor should it...I don't think. It's entertainment first, which is cool BUT for me...it's addressing a lot of questions I have for human interactions. As I've said before...people are interesting...space aliens or comic book people are not. They are a representation of humans, sometimes linked to human traits but do not share the anthropology of humans (though some make a good link to it..."Black Panther" was smart to do so).
I have many questions, also, of my own behavior. Films to me are dreams and memories realized. And they battle each other out in that "what if" universe. Yes, it's a selfish endeavor. But the bottom line is...if it spoke to ONE person, then the job was done. I've got certain people who are impressed by going this route. Others think it's cinema masturbation. I prefer being much more specific in human idiosyncracies. They are much more interesting to me. And my investment is that specific people will "get it" too. What I'm addressing is that Hollywood loves a sweeping generalizations. Which they pound into submission. When you put a microscope into behavior, I think it means more to people who catch subtlety.
Casually Full Of Shit
It took me some time working in the movies to realize that people are casually full of shit.
It's not a bad thing, since the sociopaths of this business consider it sparing your feelings. Though I can't imagine being blunt being better. It's certainly faster.
If you're talented or have "some heat" around you, people will flock to you. Most don't want to be you friend but somehow in Hollywood, people think being next to your success will mean you gather the same success. We're very superstitious out here. Luck and hard work. Mostly luck.
The caveat is that most people pretend to have heat on them. That's the story around here...perception is fact. And the rest of society believes it. Why wouldn't they? We work in make believe.
Most of the people I know have an online personae. I guess, it's weird for me, because social media existed way before Facebook did. There were a few sites that allowed person to person interaction. But you could present yourself however you want. I never lied on those sites. Probably pretty dumb since security is a consideration. But I never felt the need to. At the time I lived in an apartment with two other people. There was no success story to speak of. But only to offer chuckles. People gravitate to you when body language and looks aren't a thing. You can use your wit and cleverness to entertain. This still goes on today.
But look, women are as shallow as men these days. And empowered to say so. I have no issues with that. People go towards good looking people. It's human nature. But people also shouldn't be upset if rich ugly men trade up. It's human nature.
In Hollywood, everyone trades up...eventually. Money, power and information...all can be used for you and against you. And though I find it funny that we all clamor for more information, to me, I'd rather have less information. I'm conditioning myself to stop caring about all the details in social interactions. This breeds envy and resentment. I personally am just dealing with the things I can effect. And none of it has to do with the drama of life which sends most of you spiraling.
The reality is, most of us live mundane lives. That's what I loved about "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" The two characters led very mundane lives (though in the shadows of future events that become iconic). It's really what Hollywood is. You brush up against lore. And that history is being erased.
"Casually full of shit" means..."hey Carl, keep your schedule clear because we have that feature starting up" or "Hey man, awesome last movie. Sorry it didn't do much at the box office" It means most people talk but no one asks questions. And everyone thinks their the most important/funniest/clever/smartest person in the room. Most people are "on." That personality grates on me the most. That person who can't just sit still and is always "on" As if they need to constantly entertain. Shallow people are like this.
The films I want to make probably are closer to John Cassavetes or Nicholas Roeg. Mostly movies "off-the-grid" and of behavioral means. I think people fascinate me the most. Because of being so casually full of shit.
It's not a bad thing, since the sociopaths of this business consider it sparing your feelings. Though I can't imagine being blunt being better. It's certainly faster.
If you're talented or have "some heat" around you, people will flock to you. Most don't want to be you friend but somehow in Hollywood, people think being next to your success will mean you gather the same success. We're very superstitious out here. Luck and hard work. Mostly luck.
The caveat is that most people pretend to have heat on them. That's the story around here...perception is fact. And the rest of society believes it. Why wouldn't they? We work in make believe.
Most of the people I know have an online personae. I guess, it's weird for me, because social media existed way before Facebook did. There were a few sites that allowed person to person interaction. But you could present yourself however you want. I never lied on those sites. Probably pretty dumb since security is a consideration. But I never felt the need to. At the time I lived in an apartment with two other people. There was no success story to speak of. But only to offer chuckles. People gravitate to you when body language and looks aren't a thing. You can use your wit and cleverness to entertain. This still goes on today.
But look, women are as shallow as men these days. And empowered to say so. I have no issues with that. People go towards good looking people. It's human nature. But people also shouldn't be upset if rich ugly men trade up. It's human nature.
In Hollywood, everyone trades up...eventually. Money, power and information...all can be used for you and against you. And though I find it funny that we all clamor for more information, to me, I'd rather have less information. I'm conditioning myself to stop caring about all the details in social interactions. This breeds envy and resentment. I personally am just dealing with the things I can effect. And none of it has to do with the drama of life which sends most of you spiraling.
The reality is, most of us live mundane lives. That's what I loved about "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" The two characters led very mundane lives (though in the shadows of future events that become iconic). It's really what Hollywood is. You brush up against lore. And that history is being erased.
"Casually full of shit" means..."hey Carl, keep your schedule clear because we have that feature starting up" or "Hey man, awesome last movie. Sorry it didn't do much at the box office" It means most people talk but no one asks questions. And everyone thinks their the most important/funniest/clever/smartest person in the room. Most people are "on." That personality grates on me the most. That person who can't just sit still and is always "on" As if they need to constantly entertain. Shallow people are like this.
The films I want to make probably are closer to John Cassavetes or Nicholas Roeg. Mostly movies "off-the-grid" and of behavioral means. I think people fascinate me the most. Because of being so casually full of shit.
Sunday, April 12, 2020
At The Beginning
In the background you can see the Hollywood sign. I lived at the base of that sign. And always had a view of it to remind me of the good ol' days. I never ventured up that hill, believe it or not. Seemed the sign was just a guidepost to that adage "a man's reach should exceed his grasp"
I never wanted to work in Hollywood, per se. It seemed so structured. In the late 90's the Twin Towers hadn't yet fallen. And internet was at its infancy. No social media except MAYBE MySpace. But even that was clunky. I rarely stayed online. I watched from a basement apartment Hollywood dregs walk around. Smog was HORRENDOUS then. Every morning I'd get awful breathing issues. Didn't help that I smoked. Also, Hollywood back then was an apocalyptic wasteland. Nothing like the Disney store level shopping you see today. It was bad. But there was a theater on Hollywood Boulevard my roommate and I would go see a double feature for $5. The last thing we saw there was "The People vs. Larry Flynt" and...oddly enough they also filmed IN that theater. Talk about meta.
They closed that theater down, so the New Beverly was the only place you can catch a double for that cheap of a price (it's long since become Hipster and is barely tolerable with the supposed cinephiles of Hollywood. Glad to have them around to show movies ON film, but horrid because it's attracted a very different crowd than what I remember back then). I'm sure the ones who were going post 2000's know what I'm talking about. To be fair, I wasn't O.G. but I certainly didn't follow the trend to attend. It was just a cheap theater back then. And, on weekends, only a smattering of people went. They're mostly sold out now. When Quentin Tarantino took over, many people attended for the irony of it.
A friend in his late 20's saw a photo of myself in 1998 and messaged me that film school must've been great back then.
It was.
It was amazing. We had some really wacked out nutty filmmakers who focused solely on making movies. No social media to contend with, YouTube wasn't an avenue, and we read books. You really had to care about the stuff you made. Or you really studied how things were made. I know a lot of Millenials watch videos to learn, but nothing like actually doing things to learn. And you weren't hindered by social media lambasting you for your efforts. To us, we wanted professionals to give us a nod. Not the general public. But that's become the gauge at which we decide what is good. How many followers and how many likes. So many women look incredibly fake for this reason. Not that that is a bad thing, but it makes you think how long we've had this in our core. I've suspected most young women like sexy photos of themselves before they let themselves go. So when their grandchildren un-Earth it, their friends would tell them how hot grandma their grandma was.
Anyway, making films back then was an effort. Internet didn't offer convenient ways to buy things. EBay had only small vintage things. You could buy there, but not much was offered (looking back, I didn't have the money anyway). But you had to sit there and write a story. And dream about how to make it. I beg and borrowed in film school to get ANYTHING done. It was very difficult but steeled me for the reality of it all. Which is, nothing you do will be easy. Today, things are infinitely easier. So therefore, it seems, less valued. But there are great things people are making, who make things naturally. Perhaps their talents exceed my own and excel easier, and will through life.
I love the actual craft of movies. We went to school everyday where we argued about films, watched films and learned every aspect of filmmaking. Though I don't think any of this has changed to today's filmmakers who attend film school. And maybe they'll look back on 2020 and tell the future generation that THAT was when film school was still fun.
Saturday, April 11, 2020
Dreams
What is your dream in this movie business?
Is it to be a director, producer, writer, actor?
And is it to be well known or respected? Or is it to leave a legacy? Or all the above.
I think about that. I think my purpose has been to support filmmakers working with film. This has brought me the most joy.
I've expressed multiple times how much I've hated being on set. I'm certain the people I tell this to hate hearing it. I think it's funny. I hate being on set, but I like the people. Especially if they are fairly new to the business. Because I like hearing about their ambitions. I don't care about mine, but I love hearing how amped up they are about their vision. It's wonderful to hear young people (or new people to the business) get into the trenches and make stuff regardless of the odds.
I have a friend who directed a movie with a guy who had zero idea about the business but just wanted to make his story hit the screens. I love stories like these because you can start anytime. IF you have the fortitude to follow through. I know, it's a platitude, but most of the time all I hear are brick walls. I will offer some land mines here, but for the most part, I will never discourage you from your aspirations. Forgive me if I roll my eyes if you do dumb things to get there regardless of sound advice.
Some people will never take sound advice regardless of who it comes from. Stanley Kubrick could sit here and tell most of the youngsters they will never make it, and they'd still go forward. This is the stubborn nature of our business. Which is aggravating to the people who do work in the business. Mostly because their advice falls on deaf ears. Mine certainly does. Though I'm no Stanley Kubrick, I've beaten a lot of odds.
Not that my career or life is worth following. It's comfortable, as a guy in their 40's. It's office work, but also working with young filmmakers. It's a dream job for me, but for others it may be stifling.
My camera technician guy who fixes all my gear is married, in his late 60's and has no children. He seems unhappy, Most of these guys don't have children. I think because they see some kind of obstacle there. To him, it's probably distracting. To many, this is their lives. He has worked in the industry for decades and is, more or less, retired with a lot of money living a comfortable life. I'm sure he rolls his eyes when I bring him one of my cameras with something dumb I've done.
The point is, what is the final outcome in life. In what you want to do in this business. And is the sacrifice worth it? Your health, mental well being, and comfort. These are far more important than a moment of glory that is fleeting. To me anyway. I know many people who've suffered to get that. The 23 year old Thom who started film school in pre-Millenium did (I lived in a SHITTY apartment with carpet that smelled like wet dog). This is what you do when you're young. And though I admire the tenacity, past a certain age, it's not healthy.
But people still push forward. And onward with a bizarre view of false optimism. It's the only thing one can afford.
Is it to be a director, producer, writer, actor?
And is it to be well known or respected? Or is it to leave a legacy? Or all the above.
I think about that. I think my purpose has been to support filmmakers working with film. This has brought me the most joy.
I've expressed multiple times how much I've hated being on set. I'm certain the people I tell this to hate hearing it. I think it's funny. I hate being on set, but I like the people. Especially if they are fairly new to the business. Because I like hearing about their ambitions. I don't care about mine, but I love hearing how amped up they are about their vision. It's wonderful to hear young people (or new people to the business) get into the trenches and make stuff regardless of the odds.
I have a friend who directed a movie with a guy who had zero idea about the business but just wanted to make his story hit the screens. I love stories like these because you can start anytime. IF you have the fortitude to follow through. I know, it's a platitude, but most of the time all I hear are brick walls. I will offer some land mines here, but for the most part, I will never discourage you from your aspirations. Forgive me if I roll my eyes if you do dumb things to get there regardless of sound advice.
Some people will never take sound advice regardless of who it comes from. Stanley Kubrick could sit here and tell most of the youngsters they will never make it, and they'd still go forward. This is the stubborn nature of our business. Which is aggravating to the people who do work in the business. Mostly because their advice falls on deaf ears. Mine certainly does. Though I'm no Stanley Kubrick, I've beaten a lot of odds.
Not that my career or life is worth following. It's comfortable, as a guy in their 40's. It's office work, but also working with young filmmakers. It's a dream job for me, but for others it may be stifling.
My camera technician guy who fixes all my gear is married, in his late 60's and has no children. He seems unhappy, Most of these guys don't have children. I think because they see some kind of obstacle there. To him, it's probably distracting. To many, this is their lives. He has worked in the industry for decades and is, more or less, retired with a lot of money living a comfortable life. I'm sure he rolls his eyes when I bring him one of my cameras with something dumb I've done.
The point is, what is the final outcome in life. In what you want to do in this business. And is the sacrifice worth it? Your health, mental well being, and comfort. These are far more important than a moment of glory that is fleeting. To me anyway. I know many people who've suffered to get that. The 23 year old Thom who started film school in pre-Millenium did (I lived in a SHITTY apartment with carpet that smelled like wet dog). This is what you do when you're young. And though I admire the tenacity, past a certain age, it's not healthy.
But people still push forward. And onward with a bizarre view of false optimism. It's the only thing one can afford.
Friday, April 10, 2020
Universal Themes
I'm sure some of you who read this believe me to be bitter about the business. I'm not. I love the business. Just not modern business.
I had a friend state that he never understood why people who want to work in the business hate the business. Simple answer...it's work. Anyone who doesn't see it as work hasn't really done anything. Stress, money, ego and emotion. If you're blind to all this...you're a champ. If you've kept your eyes open, and dissect the reality, you'd quit tomorrow.
For me, I love making stories on film. I think it was the making of it rather than the politics that keep me here. Which is why I'm still here. To those who want this to be their business or career, yeah...don't bitch, whine or complain.
Personally, I love war stories. Sometimes this comes out to be bitching and whining. It's not. It's like being rejected by a girl and being able to tell you how ugly the dump was. That's grounds for comedy. Yeah, harsh reality, but comedy. To those who want a career, IT IS OKAY to hate portions of it. AND IT IS OKAY to gripe about it. But never on set and never near anyone who works on set (you never know if a P.A. becomes a producer).
In my opinion, IF you've kept your eyes open you do see the sickness of it. But everyone is blind to it for their own personal reasons. I've also noticed the ones with this type of attitude haven't had the success that is solely working actor status. I'm not sure what most of these peoples' aspirations are. I only know they don't quit. Nor should they. But they also never let reality set in. And if that's the life they choose to lead, so be it. I recall in film school I got a head shot of an older guy (as I was casting a grandfather type) and I called him up directly (1999). I asked him stupid film school guy questions like "are you okay with weekends?" "Can you improvise?" I know...stupid shit. Then I asked "what have you done that I can see?" To which he got quiet, laughed to himself and told me to do an internet search of him.
It was Seymour Cassell.
And I'm an idiot.
Pre-"Rushmore" I'm sure he was stupify how I didn't do my research. And to him, mostly likely didn't want to work with a retard. (another trivia fact Mason Gamble also from "Rushmore" also sent in headshot for my thesis film).
I attend these Hollywood celebrity shows. And I see some of the personalities that have covered the bases of everyone I mention here. There was an actress that seemed deeply troubled she had to do these lame conventions to supplement her living (better than my living). While others...were excited to meet fans, though also very honest "I'll do anything for money! (I heard this directly). I see that the ones that do work are a joy to be with on set. This is the difference between the two. There are the bitter angry ones who never work or have been typecasted versus the ones who broke through that. If you're wondering the why...you're guess is as good as mine. None of it has to do with talent. They are are all VERY talented. They were plucked from thousands of people (when casting was serious), screen tested and proven. Today, they barely even meet. They are recommendations or people they've met in classes and so forth. This is the mud to which you need to sift through. I noticed the pleasant ones also have a long career being...normal. Too many of the offbeat weirdos are typically the ones who have long careers because they began as that and knew their type. They are proud to be that. And they thrive. The ones who were pretty boys fizzled out fast. It's hard to pinpoint how or why one couldn't transcend that other than to say...a casting director wants something other than "pretty." Some age into it. Receding hairlines, bad teeth, grey hair. Could've worked for Jan Michael Vincent if he would've kicked addiction. Kind of worked for Mickey Rourke when he took up boxing.
Yes, attitude is everything in trying to get your next job (which is why I was sick of pretending I liked the projects I was shooting). If you're in charge, I doubt anyone cares what you're attitude is.
But I love Hollywood. I don't love how Hollywood runs like high school. But I honestly love the mechanics of it. The history. I'm sure if you dissected the reasoning of it, most likely based on how I enjoy moving people with stories about human beings. Because it meant a lot to me growing up as an Asian kid in White bread Ohio. Universal themes.
I had a friend state that he never understood why people who want to work in the business hate the business. Simple answer...it's work. Anyone who doesn't see it as work hasn't really done anything. Stress, money, ego and emotion. If you're blind to all this...you're a champ. If you've kept your eyes open, and dissect the reality, you'd quit tomorrow.
For me, I love making stories on film. I think it was the making of it rather than the politics that keep me here. Which is why I'm still here. To those who want this to be their business or career, yeah...don't bitch, whine or complain.
Personally, I love war stories. Sometimes this comes out to be bitching and whining. It's not. It's like being rejected by a girl and being able to tell you how ugly the dump was. That's grounds for comedy. Yeah, harsh reality, but comedy. To those who want a career, IT IS OKAY to hate portions of it. AND IT IS OKAY to gripe about it. But never on set and never near anyone who works on set (you never know if a P.A. becomes a producer).
In my opinion, IF you've kept your eyes open you do see the sickness of it. But everyone is blind to it for their own personal reasons. I've also noticed the ones with this type of attitude haven't had the success that is solely working actor status. I'm not sure what most of these peoples' aspirations are. I only know they don't quit. Nor should they. But they also never let reality set in. And if that's the life they choose to lead, so be it. I recall in film school I got a head shot of an older guy (as I was casting a grandfather type) and I called him up directly (1999). I asked him stupid film school guy questions like "are you okay with weekends?" "Can you improvise?" I know...stupid shit. Then I asked "what have you done that I can see?" To which he got quiet, laughed to himself and told me to do an internet search of him.
It was Seymour Cassell.
And I'm an idiot.
Pre-"Rushmore" I'm sure he was stupify how I didn't do my research. And to him, mostly likely didn't want to work with a retard. (another trivia fact Mason Gamble also from "Rushmore" also sent in headshot for my thesis film).
I attend these Hollywood celebrity shows. And I see some of the personalities that have covered the bases of everyone I mention here. There was an actress that seemed deeply troubled she had to do these lame conventions to supplement her living (better than my living). While others...were excited to meet fans, though also very honest "I'll do anything for money! (I heard this directly). I see that the ones that do work are a joy to be with on set. This is the difference between the two. There are the bitter angry ones who never work or have been typecasted versus the ones who broke through that. If you're wondering the why...you're guess is as good as mine. None of it has to do with talent. They are are all VERY talented. They were plucked from thousands of people (when casting was serious), screen tested and proven. Today, they barely even meet. They are recommendations or people they've met in classes and so forth. This is the mud to which you need to sift through. I noticed the pleasant ones also have a long career being...normal. Too many of the offbeat weirdos are typically the ones who have long careers because they began as that and knew their type. They are proud to be that. And they thrive. The ones who were pretty boys fizzled out fast. It's hard to pinpoint how or why one couldn't transcend that other than to say...a casting director wants something other than "pretty." Some age into it. Receding hairlines, bad teeth, grey hair. Could've worked for Jan Michael Vincent if he would've kicked addiction. Kind of worked for Mickey Rourke when he took up boxing.
Yes, attitude is everything in trying to get your next job (which is why I was sick of pretending I liked the projects I was shooting). If you're in charge, I doubt anyone cares what you're attitude is.
But I love Hollywood. I don't love how Hollywood runs like high school. But I honestly love the mechanics of it. The history. I'm sure if you dissected the reasoning of it, most likely based on how I enjoy moving people with stories about human beings. Because it meant a lot to me growing up as an Asian kid in White bread Ohio. Universal themes.
Thursday, April 9, 2020
Two Things Can Be True
There's an old adage in Hollywood which says "never use your own money to make a movie."
Obviously I don't fall under that, since I only use my own money. However, here is the odd thing...you expect someone to believe in your talent...yes? Okay, how exactly are you NOT going to spend your own money in your OWN belief to prove you are good enough. See, in Hollywood, there are a TON of people willing to say "no" because they are "the money." If you are "the money" and believe in yourself and your project than it doesn't matter what those people say.
This is a risk...and one that you need to decide whether it's worth it. But I will tell you this...
...the only ones who work consistently in the business from my film school had wealthy parents to begin with. Their folks bankrolled their music videos, short film and some even features (a lot turned to nothing as well). But this offers you a better chance. Because they used their own money to prove their talent (or lack of). If you wait until someone plucks you from a crowd and tells you you are worthy...you'll grow old. Rejection is everywhere (well, except if you do no-budget films...like mine for instance, heh heh heh). Non-union projects are a plenty. Though, I've plenty of friends who are in a union and have not benefitted from it. They have to understand the hustle is still a hustle.
Anyway, why would you expect someone to take a risk on you if you won't take a risk on yourself? That's my thinking. So I recently spent thousands of dollars on gear and modifications to start padding out my production company (which also supports and represents young directors who want to shoot on film instead of digital). To me, this investment isn't only for myself but to preserve the integrity of the craft. To me, putting money into this venture is very low risk since I require no return. For you out there that believe you are talented...spend the money to make yourself look good. Study (don't need school) listen, watch and learn. Plenty of books and online videos to dissect. And listen to the greats. Yeah, most of the interviews are lousy promotional garbage. Like Marlon Brando doesn't have much to mine. BUT, listening to Orson Welles or Jim Jarmusch have interesting tidbits of information. I know they're directors, if you're an actor reading. But they have great insight on the actors they worked with.
I think the adage should be changed to "always invest in yourself first, Hollywood won't"
Obviously I don't fall under that, since I only use my own money. However, here is the odd thing...you expect someone to believe in your talent...yes? Okay, how exactly are you NOT going to spend your own money in your OWN belief to prove you are good enough. See, in Hollywood, there are a TON of people willing to say "no" because they are "the money." If you are "the money" and believe in yourself and your project than it doesn't matter what those people say.
This is a risk...and one that you need to decide whether it's worth it. But I will tell you this...
...the only ones who work consistently in the business from my film school had wealthy parents to begin with. Their folks bankrolled their music videos, short film and some even features (a lot turned to nothing as well). But this offers you a better chance. Because they used their own money to prove their talent (or lack of). If you wait until someone plucks you from a crowd and tells you you are worthy...you'll grow old. Rejection is everywhere (well, except if you do no-budget films...like mine for instance, heh heh heh). Non-union projects are a plenty. Though, I've plenty of friends who are in a union and have not benefitted from it. They have to understand the hustle is still a hustle.
Anyway, why would you expect someone to take a risk on you if you won't take a risk on yourself? That's my thinking. So I recently spent thousands of dollars on gear and modifications to start padding out my production company (which also supports and represents young directors who want to shoot on film instead of digital). To me, this investment isn't only for myself but to preserve the integrity of the craft. To me, putting money into this venture is very low risk since I require no return. For you out there that believe you are talented...spend the money to make yourself look good. Study (don't need school) listen, watch and learn. Plenty of books and online videos to dissect. And listen to the greats. Yeah, most of the interviews are lousy promotional garbage. Like Marlon Brando doesn't have much to mine. BUT, listening to Orson Welles or Jim Jarmusch have interesting tidbits of information. I know they're directors, if you're an actor reading. But they have great insight on the actors they worked with.
I think the adage should be changed to "always invest in yourself first, Hollywood won't"
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Film School
I'm not sure if I ever spoke to you about film school. But here goes...
...for most of you out there that went to any school, and have a little experience behind you...trade school is useless. Simply put, this is a business about experience. And though it's good to be around people who focus solely on films and make connections, for the most part, you are wasting time and money. I went to film grad school. And though I have absolutely nothing but respect for my professors, none of them offered me placement after school.
A lot of young people in the business look to film school either to A) spin their wheels until their parents get off their back B) really crack into an industry.
I have a friend now who is in film school, who has no greater aspirations than to work in schlock cinema. This guy will make it. Why? He understands that the studio system isn't his cup of tea and that his interest are more for the cinema aspect of it rather than the job. Also, the job are available to more people since people typically want to work for the studio.
To me film school also teaches you poor habits. That you will always work with friends is among the most harshest. On a film set, you aren't there to "hang out." It's always been business first.
Regardless of what behind the scenes videos or commentary tell you that "if you aren't having fun, why are you doing it?" The simple answer is rent, kid's college fund or mortgage. And if you are above-the-line a trophy wife you have to maintain. The rest is just 12 hour days.
Film school also teaches you that it's your way or the hard way. David Fincher is, perhaps, the most damaging influence on film school. He's got a Stanley Kubrick style work flow. And none of which function to anyone fighting a budget. Film school students idolize the guy (personally, I like his movies, but they do, as mentioned in previous notes about him, choke the fun out of cinema). To film students, he is the modern day Kubrick. His vision will get on screen REGARDLESS of how many takes or how abusive they are to talent. Which is done to no other reason then to emulate him. I think there was one guy like that in my grad class (every class has one or many). They are dictators as that's how they think directors should act. In other words, they act like they are a director. Not my style. If you're aspiration is to work in studio, you are bookended by executives and the direction is by committee. Unless you are David Fincher.
Also, film school is insulated. You get low insurance to rent equipment, permits and so forth. In the "real world" if you intend on making your own projects...good luck. It's expensive. The cheapest thing you can hope for is the camera itself. Once you put your own money into a project, you discover really quickly how fast what is worth the money. Only if you care. And I've noticed once you are out of film school and put your own money into things, cutting corners and justifying it is a language onto itself.
Film school isn't a complete waste of time. I find people who do my workshop who are in film school find it disappointing in the end. Their teachers are trained professionals themselves, but are most likely distracted. Or bitter. Or whatever the students layer on them. They most likely can see talent. Or the talent of the student. To me, ambition, grit and interest means so much more. If I were a professor, I'd focus on the guy who has a very realistic goal (this usually launches people further) when it comes to his work (most want to direct right away, which is fine, if you're rich...I went to a rich person film school, those guys are fine). I would also focus on the guy who knows how to put things together rather than is a film fan.
Being a film fan is great, and you should study cinema, but for the most part, I found most film fans are horrible filmmakers...a result of people like Quentin Tarantino.
So you're probably thinking "what makes you a fucking expert at this since you seemed like a failed filmmaker?"
Fair enough, it depends on your definition of "failed." I did go to film school, when I graduated I did grip work. Got fired on my very first gig. Then went to electric. Where I worked for a few years on some really terrible Israeli shit. Then was one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a feature....for a Korean company that had Steven Seagal but most likely was run by mafia money. So there's that. And now I work in post-production, comfortably buying motion picture cameras, eating well and living by myself in an apartment in Van Nuys...making films on my own time.
What I'm saying is, these are insights into MY experience in Hollywood. Yours will be different (probably not as fun, since the politically correct, meToo'ers have taken over. Also, social media and camera phones ruined location shoots. Trust me, those were rambunctious. And you can heed what I'm telling you now. Most people in front of the camera are oblivious to this production nonsense. Which is good because they have their own debaucherous nonsense going. But, if you truly care about what you make, it will drain you. I've noticed the people who drift from job to job tend not to have this effect them. And perhaps that is the way to function if you want to work in the long run. But poor catering and poor hours should amount to something you do care about. I'm sure there's a personality type that can balance the two. To me, it better be something YOU make rather than make for others if you are going to die on it.
To me, film school should teach the realities of going your own way. There are too many variables to contend with. In the end, I direct you to these workout guys who state in their videos "this is just me talking, you can DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT"
Seems to me, though you can see their results (Hodge Twins) as buff gym rats, people STILL question their workout regiment.
...for most of you out there that went to any school, and have a little experience behind you...trade school is useless. Simply put, this is a business about experience. And though it's good to be around people who focus solely on films and make connections, for the most part, you are wasting time and money. I went to film grad school. And though I have absolutely nothing but respect for my professors, none of them offered me placement after school.
A lot of young people in the business look to film school either to A) spin their wheels until their parents get off their back B) really crack into an industry.
I have a friend now who is in film school, who has no greater aspirations than to work in schlock cinema. This guy will make it. Why? He understands that the studio system isn't his cup of tea and that his interest are more for the cinema aspect of it rather than the job. Also, the job are available to more people since people typically want to work for the studio.
To me film school also teaches you poor habits. That you will always work with friends is among the most harshest. On a film set, you aren't there to "hang out." It's always been business first.
Regardless of what behind the scenes videos or commentary tell you that "if you aren't having fun, why are you doing it?" The simple answer is rent, kid's college fund or mortgage. And if you are above-the-line a trophy wife you have to maintain. The rest is just 12 hour days.
Film school also teaches you that it's your way or the hard way. David Fincher is, perhaps, the most damaging influence on film school. He's got a Stanley Kubrick style work flow. And none of which function to anyone fighting a budget. Film school students idolize the guy (personally, I like his movies, but they do, as mentioned in previous notes about him, choke the fun out of cinema). To film students, he is the modern day Kubrick. His vision will get on screen REGARDLESS of how many takes or how abusive they are to talent. Which is done to no other reason then to emulate him. I think there was one guy like that in my grad class (every class has one or many). They are dictators as that's how they think directors should act. In other words, they act like they are a director. Not my style. If you're aspiration is to work in studio, you are bookended by executives and the direction is by committee. Unless you are David Fincher.
Also, film school is insulated. You get low insurance to rent equipment, permits and so forth. In the "real world" if you intend on making your own projects...good luck. It's expensive. The cheapest thing you can hope for is the camera itself. Once you put your own money into a project, you discover really quickly how fast what is worth the money. Only if you care. And I've noticed once you are out of film school and put your own money into things, cutting corners and justifying it is a language onto itself.
Film school isn't a complete waste of time. I find people who do my workshop who are in film school find it disappointing in the end. Their teachers are trained professionals themselves, but are most likely distracted. Or bitter. Or whatever the students layer on them. They most likely can see talent. Or the talent of the student. To me, ambition, grit and interest means so much more. If I were a professor, I'd focus on the guy who has a very realistic goal (this usually launches people further) when it comes to his work (most want to direct right away, which is fine, if you're rich...I went to a rich person film school, those guys are fine). I would also focus on the guy who knows how to put things together rather than is a film fan.
Being a film fan is great, and you should study cinema, but for the most part, I found most film fans are horrible filmmakers...a result of people like Quentin Tarantino.
So you're probably thinking "what makes you a fucking expert at this since you seemed like a failed filmmaker?"
Fair enough, it depends on your definition of "failed." I did go to film school, when I graduated I did grip work. Got fired on my very first gig. Then went to electric. Where I worked for a few years on some really terrible Israeli shit. Then was one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a feature....for a Korean company that had Steven Seagal but most likely was run by mafia money. So there's that. And now I work in post-production, comfortably buying motion picture cameras, eating well and living by myself in an apartment in Van Nuys...making films on my own time.
What I'm saying is, these are insights into MY experience in Hollywood. Yours will be different (probably not as fun, since the politically correct, meToo'ers have taken over. Also, social media and camera phones ruined location shoots. Trust me, those were rambunctious. And you can heed what I'm telling you now. Most people in front of the camera are oblivious to this production nonsense. Which is good because they have their own debaucherous nonsense going. But, if you truly care about what you make, it will drain you. I've noticed the people who drift from job to job tend not to have this effect them. And perhaps that is the way to function if you want to work in the long run. But poor catering and poor hours should amount to something you do care about. I'm sure there's a personality type that can balance the two. To me, it better be something YOU make rather than make for others if you are going to die on it.
To me, film school should teach the realities of going your own way. There are too many variables to contend with. In the end, I direct you to these workout guys who state in their videos "this is just me talking, you can DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT"
Seems to me, though you can see their results (Hodge Twins) as buff gym rats, people STILL question their workout regiment.
Tuesday, April 7, 2020
They Don't Give A Fuck About You
Newsflash: Mayors and Governors don't give a fuck about you. They care about your vote.
Gavin Fucking Retard Newsome's response to the coronvirus was to shut down life in California.
Smart you say? This was BEFORE any real facts were in place. You know why?
Because, here's the thing...a quarantine put into place supposedly lowers the death rate/infection rate of the people. First off, DUH. It would do that with flu, AIDS or any other pandemic. The original numbers before quarantine were listed as 2.2 million dead within the United States. Now it's 100-200,000, now 80K by May or June. Or whatever numbers start to change. Works if you first OVER inflate the numbers. Then they can say their action saved lives.
It's that insidious and dumb. And most of the Left are falling for it. And I don't blame them.
Media is painting this out to be like the Spanish flu which took out more people than World War 1 (tens of millions, if you can believe that staggering amount). Or they have a death count meter. Which is REALLY anxiety inducing. Remember that "Simpsons" episode where Dr. Hibbert examines a child who just downed a massive pint of ice cream and asked him if he had diabetes...well, he does now. That's the thing...this fear mongering is causing MORE damage than the virus itself. People are scared. Poorly eating. Can't sleep. Every small tickle in the throat or headache is grounds for fear. Because we're fed how quickly it infects and how fatal it could be. It makes me sick thinking about it. This general malaise has been ongoing since December and the warning is that it takes two weeks to show signs. Of course, the moment one person goes beyond that number, the alarm bells go off again. Do we not see the line KEEPS moving. Up/Down whatever. HOW ABOUT...we let the doctors do their job and if they come up with anything...allow them to announce it. STOP the media from pandering the fact that the sky is falling. Because it's not, but they're definitely trying their hardest to destroy the economy. This entire time, not one head of state has given ANY suggestions how to make money during this time. Want to know why? Because they now control you. Yes folks...they tank the economy so now you are at the mercy of them. That's how it works.
But the Left won't change. This is how much they hate Trump. They'd rather America tank and let their people rebuild. Because that golden opportunity wasn't going to come again for a while.
Gavin Fucking Retard Newsome's response to the coronvirus was to shut down life in California.
Smart you say? This was BEFORE any real facts were in place. You know why?
Because, here's the thing...a quarantine put into place supposedly lowers the death rate/infection rate of the people. First off, DUH. It would do that with flu, AIDS or any other pandemic. The original numbers before quarantine were listed as 2.2 million dead within the United States. Now it's 100-200,000, now 80K by May or June. Or whatever numbers start to change. Works if you first OVER inflate the numbers. Then they can say their action saved lives.
It's that insidious and dumb. And most of the Left are falling for it. And I don't blame them.
Media is painting this out to be like the Spanish flu which took out more people than World War 1 (tens of millions, if you can believe that staggering amount). Or they have a death count meter. Which is REALLY anxiety inducing. Remember that "Simpsons" episode where Dr. Hibbert examines a child who just downed a massive pint of ice cream and asked him if he had diabetes...well, he does now. That's the thing...this fear mongering is causing MORE damage than the virus itself. People are scared. Poorly eating. Can't sleep. Every small tickle in the throat or headache is grounds for fear. Because we're fed how quickly it infects and how fatal it could be. It makes me sick thinking about it. This general malaise has been ongoing since December and the warning is that it takes two weeks to show signs. Of course, the moment one person goes beyond that number, the alarm bells go off again. Do we not see the line KEEPS moving. Up/Down whatever. HOW ABOUT...we let the doctors do their job and if they come up with anything...allow them to announce it. STOP the media from pandering the fact that the sky is falling. Because it's not, but they're definitely trying their hardest to destroy the economy. This entire time, not one head of state has given ANY suggestions how to make money during this time. Want to know why? Because they now control you. Yes folks...they tank the economy so now you are at the mercy of them. That's how it works.
But the Left won't change. This is how much they hate Trump. They'd rather America tank and let their people rebuild. Because that golden opportunity wasn't going to come again for a while.
Sunday, April 5, 2020
Taste Makers
Out of boredom, I got into a spirited debate on taste with a friend.
By definition EVERYONE has taste. You can't deny that. I like Doritos, don't like potato chips. I like it colder in a room, someone else likes it warmer.
That being said...you HAVE to have preference. That is also taste.
I was accused of shitting on "things that are cool" THIS is a subjective term and obviously..."cool" is a term about "taste" and therefore...his statement is false. He does have taste and also is part of the society that offers its opinion on what is good and what is bad. Or in this case...what is cool.
To their defense, everything has a different degree of cool. And to be honest...this is the audience member ALL studios wish they had. But, from a filmmakers standpoint you HAVE to have taste. Otherwise you can't make choices. As a paying audience, none of that matters. I love people who have this mindset BECAUSE you don't have to put much effort into your product. Which is what a lot of comic book movies tend to be. They follow a template set up by previous powers that be. And also, it's made by committee of tastemakers. Studio movies are strictly that. Consider the new "Star Wars" movies. Made by committee of tastemakers.
Here's some insight on movies by committee...a young executive will put in their opinion when one wasn't needed, simply to illustrate his importance. Money grab movies like these require many heads to blame if it fails.
You do have to have SOME taste IF you want to make films. The best ones do. Russ Meyer liked big tits. Tastes.
But I get his point. Most people who dissect movies to say what works and what doesn't aren't academically armed to do so. To me, these are the ones that get to the core of taste. The people who are willing to spend money to watch your film. Which is then catered to that audience. Or they just want to tune out and just go for a ride. Perhaps their lives are miserable that escape for a few hours is through films. That obviously have values.
Human interest stories interest me. The reason? People fascinate me. Because there are no direct lines to behavior. But, when making movies you attempt to draw lines. A possible motive or empathetic tale. I watched John Sayles' brilliant "Passion Fish" again. A successful, yet drunk and miserable, soap opera star gets into a car accident that leaves her a parapalegic and returns home to rebuild her life. Along the way, she befriends a nurse with a past that leads to a unique friendship.
Again, my pal doesn't like these types (taste). Human behavior. Which baffled me, since human oddities are what makes the movie. Human behavior is much more interesting that spectacle because you can relate. Or perhaps being introspective at the movies isn't to everyone's...um...taste.
Now here's a synopsis of a friend's movie "A tribe of cavewomen sacrifice one of their members after it is revealed she is having an affair with the tribe leader's man. They leave her body in the wilderness and it is discovered by a prehistoric beast who falls in love with the dead cavewoman and vows to avenge her death. The monster, known as "The Butcher", hunts down the cavewomen responsible for her murder."
If I were at the video store, I'd definitely pick the latter to watch (taste).
The one thing we definitely agree on is that any endeavor in movies is an effort. For that, I appreciate the ones who care about what they do. And you can tell. Appreciating effort and liking everything are two different things. You can appreciate the effort and know what it took to create but NOT have to like the end product. I appreciate ALL filmmakers.
But I also get that everyone has tastes and all are different. It's okay to acknowledge that simple fact. I also do agree that we can't have everyone dictate what is good and what is bad for that reason. This conversation alone is stupid. For one thing, the perspective isn't even the same. One is an audience member, the other a filmmaker. These are opposite viewpoints. The second, the paradoxical nature of the statement. You have to taste even to say people shouldn't dictate taste.
To be perfectly honest, I prefer audience members like my friend. They don't care what's put in front of them as long as it's moving.
By definition EVERYONE has taste. You can't deny that. I like Doritos, don't like potato chips. I like it colder in a room, someone else likes it warmer.
That being said...you HAVE to have preference. That is also taste.
I was accused of shitting on "things that are cool" THIS is a subjective term and obviously..."cool" is a term about "taste" and therefore...his statement is false. He does have taste and also is part of the society that offers its opinion on what is good and what is bad. Or in this case...what is cool.
To their defense, everything has a different degree of cool. And to be honest...this is the audience member ALL studios wish they had. But, from a filmmakers standpoint you HAVE to have taste. Otherwise you can't make choices. As a paying audience, none of that matters. I love people who have this mindset BECAUSE you don't have to put much effort into your product. Which is what a lot of comic book movies tend to be. They follow a template set up by previous powers that be. And also, it's made by committee of tastemakers. Studio movies are strictly that. Consider the new "Star Wars" movies. Made by committee of tastemakers.
Here's some insight on movies by committee...a young executive will put in their opinion when one wasn't needed, simply to illustrate his importance. Money grab movies like these require many heads to blame if it fails.
You do have to have SOME taste IF you want to make films. The best ones do. Russ Meyer liked big tits. Tastes.
But I get his point. Most people who dissect movies to say what works and what doesn't aren't academically armed to do so. To me, these are the ones that get to the core of taste. The people who are willing to spend money to watch your film. Which is then catered to that audience. Or they just want to tune out and just go for a ride. Perhaps their lives are miserable that escape for a few hours is through films. That obviously have values.
Human interest stories interest me. The reason? People fascinate me. Because there are no direct lines to behavior. But, when making movies you attempt to draw lines. A possible motive or empathetic tale. I watched John Sayles' brilliant "Passion Fish" again. A successful, yet drunk and miserable, soap opera star gets into a car accident that leaves her a parapalegic and returns home to rebuild her life. Along the way, she befriends a nurse with a past that leads to a unique friendship.
Again, my pal doesn't like these types (taste). Human behavior. Which baffled me, since human oddities are what makes the movie. Human behavior is much more interesting that spectacle because you can relate. Or perhaps being introspective at the movies isn't to everyone's...um...taste.
Now here's a synopsis of a friend's movie "A tribe of cavewomen sacrifice one of their members after it is revealed she is having an affair with the tribe leader's man. They leave her body in the wilderness and it is discovered by a prehistoric beast who falls in love with the dead cavewoman and vows to avenge her death. The monster, known as "The Butcher", hunts down the cavewomen responsible for her murder."
If I were at the video store, I'd definitely pick the latter to watch (taste).
The one thing we definitely agree on is that any endeavor in movies is an effort. For that, I appreciate the ones who care about what they do. And you can tell. Appreciating effort and liking everything are two different things. You can appreciate the effort and know what it took to create but NOT have to like the end product. I appreciate ALL filmmakers.
But I also get that everyone has tastes and all are different. It's okay to acknowledge that simple fact. I also do agree that we can't have everyone dictate what is good and what is bad for that reason. This conversation alone is stupid. For one thing, the perspective isn't even the same. One is an audience member, the other a filmmaker. These are opposite viewpoints. The second, the paradoxical nature of the statement. You have to taste even to say people shouldn't dictate taste.
To be perfectly honest, I prefer audience members like my friend. They don't care what's put in front of them as long as it's moving.
Saturday, April 4, 2020
Quarantine
I'm very lucky.
I've friends I can speak to from very different parts of my life.
Most people who've come out here have shed all that. And rely simply on the survival of what's in front of them. Day to day survival.
A lot of people shed their past to get out here because they don't want to be reminded of it. I've no problems reaching out to parts of it. They're what ground you and help you when things are rough.
Friends that deep allude MANY people here because they have zero attachments. And that is the quality sometimes that benefits them. In a situation where you are alone, this is probably the best scenario. Everything is in a holding pattern. Though, they may not see their lives will be irreparably changed by things beyond their control.
So much suffering these days. I have a friend who owns a small business that probably won't when this ends. Hopefully California steps it up for them. This was of no fault of their own. And Mom and Pops need to survive. I've been popping into diners for take out here and there and leaving large tips. When I get my stimulus check, I'm giving it all away. I am very lucky and, as I told one friend, money does me no good when I've got what I need and can't buy the things others need for themselves. I've got a three to four year stockpile, which is not to brag, but to conclude that it doesn't matter how much money you have, if you have nothing to buy.
That said, check up on your friends in this town. I worry about a lot of them, because they were always at the edge of existence. Funny how they worry about me. Though I suspect it's because they believe I'll go back to the bottle. Boredom and time probably would make a lot of people go towards it. Not for me. I'm catching up on a lot of friends I should've made more time for. Revisiting great memories. Making sure they're all safe. Many have families as I'm sure a lot is on their minds.
As for me, I'm revisiting cooking. Made a massive pile of shrimp scampi in lemon butter and garlic over a bed of spaghetti. Easy recipe. Great results. I wish I could share this. Some people order Dominos and survive.
I've friends I can speak to from very different parts of my life.
Most people who've come out here have shed all that. And rely simply on the survival of what's in front of them. Day to day survival.
A lot of people shed their past to get out here because they don't want to be reminded of it. I've no problems reaching out to parts of it. They're what ground you and help you when things are rough.
Friends that deep allude MANY people here because they have zero attachments. And that is the quality sometimes that benefits them. In a situation where you are alone, this is probably the best scenario. Everything is in a holding pattern. Though, they may not see their lives will be irreparably changed by things beyond their control.
So much suffering these days. I have a friend who owns a small business that probably won't when this ends. Hopefully California steps it up for them. This was of no fault of their own. And Mom and Pops need to survive. I've been popping into diners for take out here and there and leaving large tips. When I get my stimulus check, I'm giving it all away. I am very lucky and, as I told one friend, money does me no good when I've got what I need and can't buy the things others need for themselves. I've got a three to four year stockpile, which is not to brag, but to conclude that it doesn't matter how much money you have, if you have nothing to buy.
That said, check up on your friends in this town. I worry about a lot of them, because they were always at the edge of existence. Funny how they worry about me. Though I suspect it's because they believe I'll go back to the bottle. Boredom and time probably would make a lot of people go towards it. Not for me. I'm catching up on a lot of friends I should've made more time for. Revisiting great memories. Making sure they're all safe. Many have families as I'm sure a lot is on their minds.
As for me, I'm revisiting cooking. Made a massive pile of shrimp scampi in lemon butter and garlic over a bed of spaghetti. Easy recipe. Great results. I wish I could share this. Some people order Dominos and survive.
Hollywood And The World Shutdown
Entertainment is linked to the world.
I know a lot of people thought arts and entertainment were disposable, but in our quarantined world...suppose it isn't anymore. While, true, we can't attend concerts OR movies in theaters, we are able to revisit our archives and perhaps slow down and appreciate what we had. I think this slow down is actually really good in terns of easing the throttle in an ever changing world that moves faster than we have time to think.
I, for one, started watching movies I should have picked up on decades ago. Nicholas Roeg's "The Man Who Fell To Earth" (1976) is a mind bending, acid trip. And cinema today seems to owe a lot to the non-sequitor image and music that permeates this film. I'm a little embarrassed I didn't hit this one up earlier. Mostly because after work, I throw in "Alf" re-runs or just toss in something I've seen so it can be background noise. I think that's what most people saw entertainment as...background noise. It's the forefront now.
Hollywood shutdown to create new content, because being on set requires too many people and people spread virus. So we're at an impasse until the end of April (at least). This is a great time to reflect on the great cinema and television that came before the time when everyone was in a rush.
I know a lot of people thought arts and entertainment were disposable, but in our quarantined world...suppose it isn't anymore. While, true, we can't attend concerts OR movies in theaters, we are able to revisit our archives and perhaps slow down and appreciate what we had. I think this slow down is actually really good in terns of easing the throttle in an ever changing world that moves faster than we have time to think.
I, for one, started watching movies I should have picked up on decades ago. Nicholas Roeg's "The Man Who Fell To Earth" (1976) is a mind bending, acid trip. And cinema today seems to owe a lot to the non-sequitor image and music that permeates this film. I'm a little embarrassed I didn't hit this one up earlier. Mostly because after work, I throw in "Alf" re-runs or just toss in something I've seen so it can be background noise. I think that's what most people saw entertainment as...background noise. It's the forefront now.
Hollywood shutdown to create new content, because being on set requires too many people and people spread virus. So we're at an impasse until the end of April (at least). This is a great time to reflect on the great cinema and television that came before the time when everyone was in a rush.
Thursday, April 2, 2020
Exposed
I really don't mean to make light of the situation. Since most everyone I know is on panic mode now. I think I was just offering some less dire words. Or levity to boost the situation.
Which is, we don't know what is going on.
And we're kept in the dark.
Half the people say that it isn't like the flu, the other half says it is. Some say it's worse than the flu others say it's much less than the flu. So there is so much conflicting information.
What really fans these flames are the fact that with this suppose uncertainty, there are still people who profess their sides vehemently.
See, the people who err on the side of caution will always have the upper hand. As one doctor put it, the anecdote about the guy who had a bear repellant made of a rock. He asks people if they've seen a bear, they answer no. See, the rock works.
These are the type of people with which everything starts at "disaster" and moves from there. I think I want to wait for the full facts. See, if it were LESS than what the flu caused, they can say their efforts worked. See how that works? If it's worst than the flu than they can blame the people who didn't take it seriously. The other thing...if we don't go out and we don't do anything...obviously the death count goes down. Why? We die of really stupid things daily. Or just...daily. We just die. There is no explanation. I think people want to throw this on top of the daily deaths which occur. Which...incidentally, isn't very healthy to dwell on. I did, after my car accident, and I still do at intersections. It's no way to live. Seriously.
I think we should ALWAYS take germs seriously. Wash your hands after using the bathroom (sorry White people, I've noticed middled aged White people DON'T do this, it's bizarre). Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. I'm really surprised how many people didn't pre-CoronaVirus. In fact, YOU would be seen as a nut if you addressed it. Fuck those people now. It's actually really rude.
If anything, it'd be nice that we re-learn our manners.
Which is, we don't know what is going on.
And we're kept in the dark.
Half the people say that it isn't like the flu, the other half says it is. Some say it's worse than the flu others say it's much less than the flu. So there is so much conflicting information.
What really fans these flames are the fact that with this suppose uncertainty, there are still people who profess their sides vehemently.
See, the people who err on the side of caution will always have the upper hand. As one doctor put it, the anecdote about the guy who had a bear repellant made of a rock. He asks people if they've seen a bear, they answer no. See, the rock works.
These are the type of people with which everything starts at "disaster" and moves from there. I think I want to wait for the full facts. See, if it were LESS than what the flu caused, they can say their efforts worked. See how that works? If it's worst than the flu than they can blame the people who didn't take it seriously. The other thing...if we don't go out and we don't do anything...obviously the death count goes down. Why? We die of really stupid things daily. Or just...daily. We just die. There is no explanation. I think people want to throw this on top of the daily deaths which occur. Which...incidentally, isn't very healthy to dwell on. I did, after my car accident, and I still do at intersections. It's no way to live. Seriously.
I think we should ALWAYS take germs seriously. Wash your hands after using the bathroom (sorry White people, I've noticed middled aged White people DON'T do this, it's bizarre). Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. I'm really surprised how many people didn't pre-CoronaVirus. In fact, YOU would be seen as a nut if you addressed it. Fuck those people now. It's actually really rude.
If anything, it'd be nice that we re-learn our manners.
Wednesday, April 1, 2020
Tired or Bored
Hi Friends!
By now, I'm sure you've gotten the virus according to the manic media. Boy do they love to frighten people. Which is how they get eyeballs.
To be honest, I'm sure it has caused the same amount of illnesses associated with the virus at hand. What is the saying? "the remedy is worse than the virus"
It seems the pandemic is very real. How else can you think that the powers that be would be willing to tank the economy? It's happened sure, and of course they can use it as a platform as well. I think it is is obviously serious. Though MORE serious than the flu remains to be seen. As one doctor had written, it is better to err on the side of overcautious, playing on the fact that we are a nation of old ladies who are frightened of our own shadows.
I've had aches pains and dizzyness for years now. Doctors told me it was vertigo or some other bullplop. I think it was nerve damage from a very bad massage I got in Taiwan. The pain didn't start until that horrific event. Or should I say, I was drinking at the time, so I didn't really feel the pain until I stopped medicating with booze. Oof. Dizzyness and sickness. From the withdrawal. But I'm also sure from the nerve damage. NEVER go to a blind massage therapist in Taiwan, friends.
However, what if it's something that we aren't being told?
Don't you get that feeling?
That the dire warnings are feeding into the unknown. And uncertainty means we seek out more information. More information means we are at the mercy of the news. Then they got us. Fear and doom and gloom.
Not one mass media has presented this take...the facts. Which is the virus will pass. When it stops taking the people who have compromised immunity. Or we discover a vaccine. But it somehow feels like it's political. I've stopped reading news for this reason. Most the news even now is about how stupid Trump's responses are. Okay...and? How about stories about how people HAVE recovered? Nope, that wouldn't fit the fear factor. And have us reading.
Dissecting the information, it is fear based. Economy and health. Two things linked. Two things based in fear in which to control the population.
I am NOT saying the threat isn't real. But for people to use the threat is where I get suspicious.
Stay healthy, wealthy and wise...Ben Franklin.
By now, I'm sure you've gotten the virus according to the manic media. Boy do they love to frighten people. Which is how they get eyeballs.
To be honest, I'm sure it has caused the same amount of illnesses associated with the virus at hand. What is the saying? "the remedy is worse than the virus"
It seems the pandemic is very real. How else can you think that the powers that be would be willing to tank the economy? It's happened sure, and of course they can use it as a platform as well. I think it is is obviously serious. Though MORE serious than the flu remains to be seen. As one doctor had written, it is better to err on the side of overcautious, playing on the fact that we are a nation of old ladies who are frightened of our own shadows.
I've had aches pains and dizzyness for years now. Doctors told me it was vertigo or some other bullplop. I think it was nerve damage from a very bad massage I got in Taiwan. The pain didn't start until that horrific event. Or should I say, I was drinking at the time, so I didn't really feel the pain until I stopped medicating with booze. Oof. Dizzyness and sickness. From the withdrawal. But I'm also sure from the nerve damage. NEVER go to a blind massage therapist in Taiwan, friends.
However, what if it's something that we aren't being told?
Don't you get that feeling?
That the dire warnings are feeding into the unknown. And uncertainty means we seek out more information. More information means we are at the mercy of the news. Then they got us. Fear and doom and gloom.
Not one mass media has presented this take...the facts. Which is the virus will pass. When it stops taking the people who have compromised immunity. Or we discover a vaccine. But it somehow feels like it's political. I've stopped reading news for this reason. Most the news even now is about how stupid Trump's responses are. Okay...and? How about stories about how people HAVE recovered? Nope, that wouldn't fit the fear factor. And have us reading.
Dissecting the information, it is fear based. Economy and health. Two things linked. Two things based in fear in which to control the population.
I am NOT saying the threat isn't real. But for people to use the threat is where I get suspicious.
Stay healthy, wealthy and wise...Ben Franklin.
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