"Once Upon A Time In Hollywood" (2019)

There's probably one misstep in this ode to late 60's Hollywood, and that's 50's country star Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) most likely would've moved out from the Hollywood Hills years ago and to more wider pastures, as that of Santa Clarita. That's where all the western guys hid out. Or Thousand Oaks...or anywhere where hippies aren't. But that's cured quickly by a blurb about how he bought his home early and wasn't going to be driven out by the new, regardless.

In his only film with zero N-bombs, Tarantino takes on the town that he grew up against. And though there really isn't much of a plot to speak of, it is an exercise in atmosphere and recreating a bygone era without internet, cell phones, or social media. Instead, creative people bounced around waiting to do things. Especially in the case of Rick Dalton, a washed up Hollywood Western actor who has been relegated to playing villain roles which is the road to being a true washed up actor. Without an actor, listless Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt)...Dalton's stunt double is also without a job. So his lot in life, which he contently observes, is to exist at the edge. He has no aspirations or ambition or...much going for him, but that's fine by him.

Now, you may be really frustrated at where this film goes, because...really, it spins its wheels until a gruesome, yet darkly funny ending emerges. And, truth be told, it's really not that funny either, it becomes Tarantino's next attempt at re-writing history. Does it matter? No...the title tells you it's a fairy tale, but what I got from it, is the sensibility of drifters walking through Hollywood trying to do things without it being anything other than employment. Today's Hollywood is more about being famous than anything.

And that is the charm of this, is that DiCaprio's Dalton isn't wallowing in fame or fortune, it's that he is desperately looking for the next role. And to be honest, you only have to look one house over to Roman Polanski's house that you see what fame did for him and his new wife Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie). Much tragedy hit the infamous director at the height of his career.

Yes, once you get Tarantino's little gags, such as anticipation for something brutal to occur at the Spahn Ranch where Manson Family live...it becomes a tense humorous release. OR, the constant jokes on absurdist dialogue. Yes, those are transparent Tarantino. BUT, in an odd way, this is ALSO his most casual bounce. A bygone era of...innocence. As if a child told you this story.
For those wanting constant barrages of physical violence, I am actually relieved this offers very little. It is about a jaunt with two friends who just want to keep...hanging out, doing simple Hollywood things.
And if you can dig that, than you will have a great time.

We're All Full Of Shit, An Ode to Rutger Hauer

I was disheartened to learn of actor Rutger Hauer's death at the age of 75. I remember him from two pictures..."Blade Runner" and "Blind Fury"
Also interesting is that he died the same year as his character did in "Blade Runner" His Nexus 6 Roy Batty died in 2019 as well.

I wasn't a crazy fan of his, but I know how serious he was in his craft. The other thing, he didn't suffer...fools. Boy, stories about him are nutty. Specifically one where he showed up to the audition of "Blade Runner" decked out like some 80's mod rock nut. Director Ridley Scott got the joke later.
To me, he epitomized working at the edge of fame and functioned great. A leading man who always consider himself a character actor. A lesson there...or is it?...

If you work in Hollywood long enough...
...and you listen long enough...
you will conclude that we are all full of shit...

A director I admire greatly, would tell stories of old Hollywood with a lesson at the end of it that he learned. The tale is probably as bullshit as anything, but it was meant to help with navigating through the pits of snakes.
We are all bullshitters out here. Eventually we even forget we are doing it. I do it, no question. I tell my tales, like on this blog. You have to conclude that we also are very very insecure. These tales are simply to say how we got to be so disenfranchised by the business (because it is). But also, to remember all the great times of a bygone era (I am a 40's/50's Hollywood with a 60's production spirit).
And it's all perception. For all you know I am writing this from Gloria Swanson's old mansion or dictating it to an assist (I actually do miss having an assist...another story years ago). But I'm sure most people would be a little surprised that I live in a one bedroom in Van Nuys alone with a decent coffee maker. Only because I talk so big.

If you are new here, it's perfectly okay to listen to these nutty old people stories. Most of you will feign interest anyway as we rattle off names you've never heard of (important people that you should, if care). But we're also all in our own worlds. I'm constantly battling new people who want to work in this business about a work ethic (regardless of you age ALWAYS fulfill what you promise...your name and reputation are SO important).

Also, know who you are. If you are a bullshitter, get that phony survival skill garbage out. You know..."don't bullshit a bullshitter.." you are in an arena of them. They can hear it and smell it before you even say it. And you're done (happened to me on an interview for a directing job...sniffed out my inexperience immediately). Be honest (I know, in Hollywood, right?). Seriously though. Once you establish yourself as that, people like you. Being honest isn't the same as being a sucker. Most of the washouts were REALLY dishonest people. Most likely, to this day, they believe their bullshit.
Guess who never believed in Hollywood's bullshit?
Rutger Hauer
Rest well, Roy...your moments won't be lost in time.

Minister Of Truth

Okay, you film school feebs, listen up...I am the minister of truth...so get that bong out of your mouth, your finger out of that ear, nose or pussy and hear what I am saying...
...the truth of working and living in L.A. isn't what you've been fed by any of your teachers (unless your teachers are you parents). The truth is, you suck. You all suck. Everything you do sucks. But it has potential. We are all about potential. Potential means you don't rest on your laurels. And for whatever reason...most of you dumb film school peeps think people need to come to you. It's arrogance, for sure. Ignorance...definitely.

I get it. I went to film school.
Here's what happened...I partied. Hard. Went to strip clubs. Fucked with dumb freshman girls who loved the graduate students. Drank a ton. And made movies. We definitely cared. But, I wonder what would've become of me had I not fucked around so long.
After school, I sat around in Sherman Oaks, scared out of my shit that I didn't have a job. In terms of reality, it was expensive to live in Los Angeles then, it sure as shit now.
So a few of you, after school, decide to live with one another. One by one, you either a) betray each other with the rent b) can't afford to live there anymore and find some complete stranger that fucks your living arrangement up c) move out yourself
In my case, I stuck around while shitty people came in and out. For ten years.
Most won't last that long. Because a lot of you won't have that much passion for it, or burn out or have families. Spouses won't ever understand. Maybe if they work in the business, they may, but it grates on them none the less. And for what... ?
Yes, that is the question I asked myself for the 18 to nearly 20 years I've been here. For what?
Until I finally answered it...which won't be your answer.
I figured it out and have never been more content and happy with my choice.
IF your choice is to work in the movie business, if you're fucking around, blowing people off, not fulfilling what you promised, most of us won't meet you halfway. Regardless of what things you are promised, PEOPLE will figure you out fast.
And from what I gathered thus far...all I see is a lot of hot air.

It makes perfect sense why film school teachers give up. They realize the ones learning have very limited appreciation for the work that goes behind it (I spent, nearly all of my years in school on a soundstage). This sacrifice eventually paid off. Hopefully they will figure it out too.

Homeless Town

I had this idea for sitcom about a homeless tent city. It's no big secret that Los Angeles homeless population has exploded. To a point where they have their own area...multiple, in fact. Mostly there's downtown and the Valley. The sitcom would be a father and a teen son, whom after a shitty divorce the father gets taken for everything by a mail order Eastern European wife (who is in citizenship limbo). Rather than capitulate to the shrew wife...he hides his assets and disappears into homeless living. There he would meet fascinating characters and learn a bit about life...though...a lot should be played for laughs. Since California Gavin Newsome and L.A. mayor Garcetti are fucking useless, the Dad can keep whining about "those idiots" but also not bettering himself, even at the protest of his son. His son can go to homeless high school too. Since it essentially became its own city anyway. The biggest mined jokes of this would be that it could function well. A community is formed and they're some good hearted people and some really bad dudes as well. This microcosm humans create, we start to function as.
Now the Left probably will never find this funny. They use to. It was comedy gold. I could see Matt LeBlanc now...play the Dad. He did something similar with Joe Bologna in the late 90's.
The other thing...the biting truth. I'm sure I'm not the only one to have thought of this, but no one sponsor this...they'd think it were hate-filled. But it'd be like "Sanford and Son" where the joke isn't about being homeless. The comedy comes from living perfectly fine in poverty. The great Norman Lear wouldn't have the balls to tackle this...God love him. Because the Lefties in Hollywood lost their humor and sense of satire. There would be no agenda other than having laughs...however...they'd probably think we were laughing at them. This ISN'T comedy. They're just trying to make their situation better.

Winning In Hollywood

Remember those hilarious titles that would start like "How To Break Into Hollywood!" Or "100 Secrets To Stardom!"
Guess not. They were old titles I recall seeing in libraries out here. Guess the person who bought the book had reached stardom and donated it.

Probably not.
Look, I REALLY don't want you to think I'm an angry curmudgeon who wants you or everyone to fail. Honestly, I bet you have more talent than the people working today (especially Leo DiCaprio...man that guy sucks, I truly don't get his appeal). The point is to keep doing it because you love it not because you're trying to A) get the world to love you (because they'll most likely hate you more) B) being famous.
Famous isn't the famous it was before. And that saddens me.
Famous before meant a touch of...class. Today...Khardashian.
To me, in order to move forward in this town, there is nose to grindstone and a lot of disappointment or delusion.

There's an episode of "Growing Pains" (an 80's-90's sitcom) where, after having high school theater acclaim, Mike Seaver decides to enroll in theater classes in college. His teacher is a stage affected douchebag who quotes Ibsen and starts off the semester with an incredibly corny acting technique. Mike clearly feels he is in over his head, not having read any classical theater and only having done a Thornton Wilder high school gimme play called "Our Town" (saw my friend do this in Warsaw, Indiana...shudder).

At the end of the week, the students in this class are suppose to bring in audition notices and read them aloud. The others bring Broadway notices or hoity-toity plays, Mike...brings in one for an audition for a television spot for a fish and chips restaurant. The class erupts in laughter. So low brow. The professor snobbily dismisses this as frivolous.

Later, Mike tries his best to immerse himself in these plays and has no clue of Shakespeare's language. Distraught, he goes to audition for the fish and chips commercial. There he runs into...two of his classmates! They shamefully backpedal and admit that they haven't done anything of any merit and start from scratch. And then...the kicker...
...the audition room...the door opens and the professor emerges thanking the people in the audition room for the role. He gotten the part, that he had earlier shamed Mike in presenting.

For those paying attention...this is a lesson in ego. Regardless of content or pride, one still has to survive.

Kabuki Theater

Be still.
Have I told you actors this before? Sure I have. Someone in your acting school or some book read must've told you this.

I'm pouring through actor's reels right now. Most should be going after character actor roles. Seems they are going for leads. Be a character, you'll work more.

Maybe it's this new Marvel or DC influence, but stop fucking emoting (at least don't put it in your reel). It's awful and LOUD. Declaring something like you did in theater doesn't make a bigger impact. In fact, you look silly.

There's a film phrase I'd want most actors to know as well...it's this "if you can think it, we can see it." Hammer that into your skulls. Because everyone around you is BIG. And that could be from poor direction. To me...I think it would surprise people. Regardless of material.
For example, if you're playing an alien toad from Jupiter, maybe they want you silly. But in serious parts, God...

To me (and yes, this is only MY taste) less is better. Always. How about just doing something? Instead of marching to get a pen, just go get the pen. This is what I see in reels...
-Too many hand movements
-your head nods like a bobblehead
-you're too loud
-you smirk or smile at lines that are meant to be serious...this reads as arrogant...unless you're suppose to be a dick...which could work
-You milk moments. The lines clearly don't mean you extend the words. A LOT of actors put unnecessary beats to extend screen time. Fuck you, dude or dude-ess. If anything, makes you look retarded.

Okay, thanks for letting me vent. Here's the thing...I get it...whatever project you put on your reel, it was an opportunity and you want to make the most of it. A lot of newer directors seem to feel if you aren't emoting, you aren't acting. Barf.

Some are confusing. On one reel, I saw a set that was clearly paid for by a LOT of money. It was set in World War 2 and had BEAUTIFUL set design. The actress embodied the character. Moved properly and was elegant. Then she talked. Stilted and loud. For one thing, she didn't understand 40's lingo (it takes place there). She seemed to have difficulty with the phrasing and it just seemed to be read (which, if the director most likely gave up and just told her to read it). BUT what made sense is that she was channeling the movies of that era. Worked then, not now. Be careful. Listen carefully. The best part of that reel was when she was standing touching things.

In all seriousness, stop fucking moving. Stay still. Here...do this...pick a broad action movie...like "Predator" for instance. Now...say "get to the choppa!" without moving your head and not screaming it. Say it differently in front of a mirror and don't move your head. Practice this until it becomes like it FEELS like you're giving advice to a kid.
This is Mickey Rourke and Meryl Streep level subtlety.

Living in Hollywood World

At a certain point in your career if you live here in Los Angeles and want to pursue a life in Hollywood, you will experience melancholy. There isn't a filmmaker out there right now, out here anyway, that isn't disappointed or sad about something. It could be brutal depression over not getting a role, a directing job or...well, you are in the presence of others who hope and dream about a career making things that move other people. I went to a taping of "How Did This Get Made" recently, and sat in an auditorium full of people with those hopes and dreams. Very few people know the films I've worked on. The same I feel about when I go to the New Beverly Theater. The audience is full of the pretentiously unwashed who have aspirations to make movies (not all, but most). They want to make films. Some probably just like movies. The simple fact is, these types of things are about nostalgia. Or lost childhood. You can see by the overweight, under-washed people they've suffered through these unresolved issues, or delusions of grandeur. It's hard not to see people this way once you work in the system. As much as a cog as I am now, I still have the means to make my own films. Never mind the folks in either venues most likely haven't had the history I have. Yes, pretty arrogant of me to say so.

With this crippling sense of doubt with your career, the only thing that will keep you afloat is to keep moving. Most people are paralyzed with this fear of...moving forward. With anything. If you write something or film something, the point is to do something. This depression will lead to a few things: taking stock in where you failed at life OR seeing how pointless this all is. Don't allow these thoughts to permeate your core being. At heart, you will need to decide if this is the pursuit you want. The idea is to distract yourself with...stories.

My friend, whom I recently optioned the script, suffers from a great deal of depression. She expresses herself through writing. And the world is a better place for it. Not because of her depression, but because she has turned something crippling into something liberating. Though, obviously pain still creeps in. The sense of not being good enough. Being a social outcast or so forth. The point is, we all are. Beautiful people included. Probably worse off, since they've experienced life as being included in everything, being made to feel unwanted will deplete the ego almost immediately.

For those who suffer the day to day drudgery of existing, please find the time to practice your art. This is the only thing that gives your oxygen. Substance abuse isn't the answer. Perhaps visit a friend...write and read aloud a script you want to make. Make new friends. Keep busy and the demons will stay at bay. Nothing in this industry will fix what is wrong with you. Sorry to be the person to say so (if you didn't already know). The only thing that will satisfy that gap in your ego is...finding a voice that you are proud of.

Go forth friends!

Even MORE Thoughts On Directing

Most people can't direct a film. Inherently, EVERYONE can direct a film, but you know what gets in the way? A lot of over-thinking.
Unfortunately, today's directors think that if you're dark, melancholy and brooding you are an artist. Sometimes that's true, mostly, it's garbage. Pretentious garbage to be honest, and trust me, I've been accused of it before.

If I were to think about directing, it's would be one simple answer: listen.
I think this goes with acting as well. No one listens. Look at people now. They don't listen to one another. Instead, they wait for their lines (which they most likely memorized a few hours before shooting) or they just completely don't digest what the other actor just got done saying. Here is the problem...

...Too many actors believe if they get the context of the script, and they respond correctly, this is listening. It's not. LISTENING, is truly hearing what the person is saying, putting into context in your mind as the person and THEN responding with your follow up. This is reaction...and trust me, in films reacting is acting (not in life though, try to be active and NOT reactive).

In the context of directing, a director MUST listen. It's fucking hard when you are a one man band. Because sometimes lines get dropped. This is bad. The script is written for a reason with words in place FOR A REASON. The minute you stop listening, the quicker you will lose your place. Then throw on top of that, action that the actor has to do. This is what is known as "business." Drinking coffee, smoking cigarette, brushing lint off clothes. This puts the audience into a real context rather than talking heads back and forth.

The trick is to have normal flowing conversation in spite of shooting things out of order. This is VERY difficult. I don't have that memory to do that anymore. Aggravating.

Finally, I think when you direct small things, the hardest part is to just let something good that happens...happen. I think if you're inflexible, it's death. Because everything feels stilted. Especially with an actor who can't pronounce a word or reverses words to make it easier for them to say. Back in the old days, they stuck to the script. That's why a lot of those movies felt like...a play. We aren't making plays in movies (at least we shouldn't be). And the entire thing is predicated on one thing...how do you make it interesting to someone watching? If the material isn't very interesting, you have to inject something into it. While this may go against the script in hand, it is the experienced director who watches closely to hear and see what can be added for an extra touch. This is, without a doubt, the one thing that will elevate your game.

If you're ever on a student shoot, chances are, the prefer pretending to direct than actually direct. Because directing isn't really what you see in movies. The directors I've seen in play just calmly watch their actors from afar as they rehearse and adjust if necessary. Or a quick note as to what context it plays into. The rest of the time, it's to drink something and try to get out of the way.

Embrace Your Type Actors!

I'm listening to Leonard Maltin's podcast where he is talking to Drew Carey. I loved his show in all its interations. Smart guy who probably got labeled a dumb jarhead simply because he looks like one.
For all you actors out there...listen to this pod. His insight on selecting type is brilliant. In the pod...he talks about an acting teacher who asked his class to assess one another the first impression on a sheet of paper. Then this would be given to the person. This is what is known as your "essence" or rather your type. Many actors have no idea what they're seen as or can't assess what that is. The public will. IF you can embrace this...you will be better off...
The second advice he gives os watching television or films and seeing which role you would play in it. It could be the best friend, the town thug, the happy office worker whatever it is. Most actors think they can play against who they are. The trick is to LISTEN to what people are telling you who you are. And life becomes infinitely easier because it doesn't feel like acting.
This is, of course, if people aren't writing for your type. More reason to listen.
Fascinating podcast.

The News Cracks Me Up

I have a journalist friend who graduated from Berkeley there in Northern California. So you know they are progressives. I use that term only to give you a jumping off point. Honestly, they're not. Progressives are forward thinking. That isn't a knock at my friend. He's much smarter than me. But rather an indictment on the education system. They are activist journalist and not news journalist. That is what today's media is. Most are activist. Because they need people to hate the news or the ones who report it or both because that gets people to respond. Anger is the new commodity with journalism rather than integrity.

Most of what you see on the internet news these days don't require you have sources. In fact, most are "an anonymous person in camp." This obviously attempts to shake up the regime of whatever it is you're trying to unseat, but also drive each other nuts with paranoia. What we have now is called "fake news" which is an ingenuous title, because you can either fabricate news or distort it for your agenda. Agenda news is putting Donald Trump's face on a story about a pedophile sex offender for no reason (yes, people...this actually happened). Does the media have to retract? Probably not. Because "an unnamed source."

The saddest part is that the press do hide under the badge of honesty. Or transparency. The problem, most understand what gets eyeballs to their writing. It's salacious titles with some juicy bits of news to get you angry enough to respond. And hating Trump now is the hot button.

Both CNN and Fox are awful. Strangely enough Fox is less awful. According to the snippets I see online. CNN has headlines an angry child would write (from the snippets I see online). Fox, also, but they also put on an opposing view. Perhaps a paper tiger? Guess who does have more viewership? The one that angers you more. So more Leftist will tune in to Fox just to get angry. And, well...the Right are so close-minded even saying CNN gives them AIDS.

Personally, I think American news probably sends a message of hopelessness to the rest of the world (if they tuned in). I think the violence, anger and bitterness between one another stems from what we see (not necessarily what we hear). We get desensitized to a car that goes through an apartment complex and kills four watching t.v. The next day news moves onto the next tragedy. I don't fault them as life DOES move on. But man, life moved on really quick. Which makes it seem that we're all disposable. Which isn't wrong, but pretty callous.

I get better news from the people. Blogs out there that have insight into the world. I try to keep the violence one does to one another at bay. I know this is somewhat naive as it doesn't prepare oneself for the realities once it enters your life (which is does, in the big city on a daily basis).
But I hope more and more people tune out. These people are profiting off your misery.

United States Women's Soccer Wins Something

I never watched a second of women's soccer, and if you sat through this...boy...good for you. I don't even watch men's soccer. For one thing, I have so little time, what with my love of 80's crappy sit-coms. But more importantly, it's fucking boring.
That said, congrats to my girl Rose Lavelle, who was not only a Cincinnati native BUT she went to a high school behind my house. It was Catholic, so I couldn't afford it. More importantly, my parents didn't want to spend money on it. Man, what fun it would've been to just jump a fence to school. Instead, I got bus'd with other losers. Good for you Rosey, Cincinnati loves you and probably will have a parade for you. The other thing about her, she kept her trap shut about the politics of it. Instead, did her work and won. Love that.

Conversely, the new controversy is Megan Rapinoe. A butch lesbian who refused to go to the White House if the USWNT won. Okay, lady or gentleman, the first thing...you're a fucking lesbian. That means you probably should be a pro at kicking balls. Second, it's a fucking kid's game. How does this translate into...you know...real world skill? Like where do you go from here besides...making sure other balls don't enter your life? I have no idea. I'm sure this is why the crusade. Or maybe just keep playing this kid's game until it gets old, or no one cares. It's still women's soccer (you know, more boring than men's). Then there's the fact that she professed to not want to sing the American National Anthem anymore. Which is completely her right. Never mind a ton of men have died defending her right. Which most likely those dudes stood for the anthem.
I don't get these people. I don't think there is another country that pays more money for people to play games than America. Where is the gratitude? So many people are suffering in this world, which they say they are trying to shed light on. But there is a better way to express it other than these incredibly shallow protest at events. I don't think anyone watches these things and changes their opinion, one way or another. Same with the good ol' boys who march with hoods on their heads. They're both extreme.

What is truly odd is that though they won, it sure doesn't feel like a victory.

Washout

I know a lot of you probably I'm a piece of shit for telling you your Hollywood dreams won't come true. They will, if you keep them in reality. Most don't. Most washout.
There is NOTHING wrong with quitting Hollywood. Honestly...go look at all the 90's to 2000's stars of that era and see what they are up to. Most have washed out, others, work on the fringe. These are the people I respect the most. One of my favorite actresses of the 90's teaches musical theater. I love that more than anything. Meant she was in it for the craft.

For filmmakers, washing out is bizarre. Obviously people need money to live and keep doing what they're doing. Most leave the business to pursue teaching. To me, if they never cracked the code, even at the smallest level, you probably shouldn't be teaching anything on filmmaking.
Some may consider me a wash out since I went into a more steadier job (steady-ish anyway, nothing in this business is solid). But, I've had my moments in the business. It's more corporate than you realize. Especially now. That's not what we signed up for. So I essentially started my own mini-studio to do the projects when I want, how I want. This does take some discipline because no one is making this an assignment. That's all on me. Yes, I love to bitch that I shouldn't have to drag others into this endeavor, since they want to work in the business. My film school friend whom I speak to about the matter is perfectly okay to work in the margin. Remember what I said about film fans versus film makers. Most in film school are film fans. And the market has expanded where the world are more proficient in telling stories than Americans. The international film world is interesting in that the government selects and funds them. America is the only first world nation that doesn't do this. Weird.

But everyone still wants to tackle Hollywood. Because we all do have this notion that this place is still the epitome of "making it." I'm actually surprised that more people are dis-enfranchised by the facade this town is (how miserable is your previous living?!). Though, as you get more embedded into this town and start to integrate into the work, a lot of things do become clear. The hierarchy exists, if not to create gatekeepers. These are the people who will make you wash out faster. Because nothing in this business is remotely fair. I've seen too many talented people spinning their wheels in fear and mental fatigue/illness. Washing out, in a lot of cases is never giving this town a chance.

There's a scene in Preston Sturges "Sullivan's Travel" where Joel McCrea pretending to be a homeless man runs into Veronica Lake at a diner. She feels pity for him and offers to buy him food. We discover she is an actress who is about to be washed out. But before so, she mentions everything that got her to that point (in hilarious insightful cynical tropes of Hollywood). This existed since the 1940's. Yet, here we are, still stupidly pursuing _________.
well, if you can fill in this blank without a sense of irony, you are going to do fine here.

The Sacrifice

As the Fourth of July in America blows up in my neighborhood (and most likely will continue through the weekend) I slave away at the next episode of my micro-series. When I say "slave" it's in jest. Simply because it's fun putting this one together. There are no expectations per usual but also...it feels like moving forward.

I had a friend come by and tell me he was going to a fireworks display in Santa Monica.
A few things occurred to me at that point. For one thing I wasn't invited, the jerks! Just joking. But more importantly, jealous of people in film school
I had film school friends once. And, for fear of sounding like the old man telling kids to get off their lawn, in the end, MAYBE one or two will keep in touch. The rest..well, it will become a distant memory when they start to work. Unfortunately, as my ex-girlfriend use to say "life gets in the way." As tragic as that may sound, because at this point they spend morning, day and night with each, it is growth. People meet other people and have to get into the reality of the world which is...work.

The reality of it is, when you're in your early 20's, you want to socialize. And you should. I partied well into my 30's. But at the same time, I also partied alone. Which meant not being involved in a lot of social events. At that age, it sucked because that's where I'd meet pretty girls. That's the sacrifice (or in my case, I got sick of being rejected). If you are part of the "popular crowd" and you want to succeed, time to shed that as well. In the past, this did work. Hollywood is high school part 2. And it still kind of is. But if you're that nerdish kid sitting in the computer lab figuring out something...people gravitate towards you. These words haunt me "everything goes to power." In other words, chasing something does nothing for you. If they come to you, you know you've achieved something (did I mention I wasn't invited to go see fireworks, heh-heh-heh).

I would hope no 22 year old would be reading this blog to get ideas on how to succeed, mostly because they wouldn't listen anyway. I didn't. And I don't listen to dudes older than me now. I think they're wrong and I'm unique (I'm not, neither are you). The only thing that should drive your ambition is asking yourself what it is you want from working in Hollywood. If it's money and fame, awesome. They have that, but it also has over 9 million people to remind you you get lost in the crowd. If it's to tell some agonizing story of your youth (at 22?! get fucked) then I challenge you to make it interesting. A lot of divorce stories in my film school. But if the moving image is being used for a greater good of telling a compelling story to an audience who will understand (niche)...well, any passionate play is fueled by the blood of exuberance. Anything else is just an assignment.

If I were to lecture a film school, I'd tell them a few things (they'll probably ignore, because they're grotesquely arrogant) have a unique passionate vision that only you like. DO NOT copy anyone else because they do "cooler" things. Find your own view of a story without second guessing your instincts (this will come later). Be brave when mostly alone (which if you've read this, you should be alone most of the time). And don't let others tell you that you are wrong (which you probably are) in the stories you want to tell (you are wrong everywhere else, mostly technical).

The point being, sacrifice is grinding it out while others play. And others play constantly. Be the person (such as my friend in film school who came by to borrow a camera) take advantage of EVERY opportunity to make yourself better above your peers but not in spite of them. Because you want to.

Making it here is a lonely place. The other life comes later. This is what will confuse a lot of newbies.