Roy Moore

Man, is this guy a dumb hick or what?
This is the politics that needs to be kicked out permanently. With zero shame for being banned from high school cheerleaders. Yes, you fucking animal, you are a liability to humanity. Self-righteous White dude from relics of the antebellum south can't exist in 2017 society. And he should be considering himself lucky to not be strung up by the populace. Instead, he is the thorn of many outraged public who believes he is a child molester. Even the implication, as this world has come to know, would set off a shred of conscience in him to get while the getting is good.
It boggles my mind how this is acceptable, when everyone else can be flushed with lesser accusations.

At least someone gut-punch him.

Cunt Face Inherits The World

Sometimes you read something and wish this person would be punched in the cunt. For a few reasons.
1) your kid is a piece of shit
2) being a white female doesn't make you awesome
3) you shouldn't give birth to shitty people because you are a shitty person
4) you fucking, dumb cunt, I hope someone backhands you for complaining about something you CHOSE to have.

 
Sir,
I apologize for my son kicking your seat. Traveling can be stressful, and I know that it's annoying. But with all due respect, would you please sit back down and mind your own business? What gave you the right to discipline my 3-year old son? I am his mother, and I'm pretty sure that's my job.
The first mistake you made was calling him "sweetheart." I get that he has long hair but he's not a girl. The second mistake you made was bringing too much attention to the situation. You have poked the bear, and he now thinks it's funny to kick your seat. The third mistake you made was pissing ME off by addressing him and not me — your only hope. Instead of holding his feet for two hours in an attempt to quell the kicking (like I did on the past 32 flights of his life), I will do nothing. I will order a Bloody Mary and relax.

It's been a long holiday weekend Over Thanksgiving, washing the dishes after dinner was my only time to relax. How was your Thanksgiving holiday? Did you even do any dishes? My holiday was spent tending to my child's needs (and tantrums. I don't know your story or your past, but let me assume for a second that in your younger years, you flew with a toddler. Can you try to remember how difficult that was?

I've spent the past four hours lugging around his 34-pound body and a seven-pound car seat. Not only do I have his stroller to keep up with, but I also have his backpack, his snacks, his pillow, my computer, my purse, his iPad, and our boarding passes. I've had to visit the disgusting airport restroom 10 times to ensure he doesn't wet himself on the plane. I encountered dirty looks and stares while pleading with him to stop screaming "Jingle Bells" at the top of his lungs. My only chance to get him to eat something nutritious today was to bribe him with ice cream.

After boarding the plane with my son, who, by the way, was enjoying a $7 ice cream from the fancy airport shop after the vending machine ate three of my dollars, I hoped and prayed for a tiny break. I even thought that break might come in the form of the person sitting in front of him showing me some compassion in my vulnerable, stressful situation. Instead of that break, however, I got YOU: rude, unsympathetic curmudgeon.
When you first stood up, I was caught off guard. I even took away his iPad in an attempt to discipline him. But after I had a second to think, I was pissed at you and myself. Instead of punishing him, I should have defended him. Had you and your older son not conveniently been bumped up to first class, I would have. I just want to say thank you for adding stress to my already nerve-racking day.
From,
A Protective and Tired Mother
PS — And to the woman who was also sitting in the row in front of my son, thank you for not being like the man above. Your kindness and humanity were a breath of fresh air. My son had kicked your seat multiple times, and yet you smiled. I was worried when you first stood up that, once again, I would be scorned. He has acrobatic feet, a larger-than-life personality, and an ear-piercing roar. I was pleasantly surprised when you wanted to see his "adorable face," as you so pleasantly put it. The way you delicately tickled his feet made him giggle.
I want you to know that you are my hero. Not only did you take a mountain of stress off my shoulders, but you also renewed my faith in people. Going forward in life, I will think of you often and remember how you treated my son. I'll remember that for every crotchety, intolerant person who rolls their eyes, there are also people like you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Bitch, imagine if a guy wrote that letter. Speaking of equality. This is what it sounds like

"I'm sorry but the world is for me an my family to do as I please. I feel no remorse for the inconvenience I bring other people. Matter of fact, my sciatica is killing me, so you need to cut me some slack for everything. My job sucks, my wife hates me. And the kids are getting horrid grades at school."

 

Seriously, what would happen if a guy ranted and tried to circle the wagons like this idiot?

Your exhaustion is on no one but yourself. Stop being a victim or your kid is going to turn out like a SERIOUS cunt.

Matt Lauer

Matt Lauer host of the "Today Show" on NBC was shit-canned over accusations that he made sexual inappropriate moves towards someone.
Is this McCarthy-ism 2017?
I get it though, NBC is trying not to back itself back into a corner when they buried the Harvey Weinstein story. But I think we're going a bit nuts over these things now. Not to say what Lauer didn't warrant his termination, because let's be honest, a retard from Spokane could sit in his seat and do just as great a job. I'm sure he understands these jobs aren't easy.

I am glad that these dudes are being put in their place. As I've said in the past, one of my biggest pet peeves is when I show someone my projects and the first thing they ask is if I fucked the actress. You just want to punch that dumbfuck in the face. Because they are that retarded. I shut that shit down. Because you don't shit on artistic endeavors. Guys like this who ask questions like this are going to be extinct. And it's great since it actually kills 90% of middle aged White guys in this business (including gays).
Finally, this industry is falling into the lame wad's hands who couldn't get laid (me) if you harassed them. Bwahahahaha.

Lindsay

It's probably really easy for a lot of you guys out there that grew up being either Black or White. This is a definitive identifier. NOT being Black or White is easy either way, but better than being the in-between. The in-between such as Asian or Mexican are usually the scapegoat. Still the minority.

Lindsay was pretty freckly strawberry blonde girl I met in elementary school. And NOT that all white people look the same, but I kept mistaking her for a girl that looked who I thought looked like her. If she were in casting, she would be "typical suburban pretty girl"

Lindsay had a great smile. Even as we re-connected on social media, she STILL has that same bright warm smile I recall. Her presence drew a TON of people to her and it wasn't hard to grow a deep crush on her. What made it more endearing, was that she was sweet as well. She hung out with "the cool kids." NOT because she excluded others, but because the pretty girls desperately wanted Lindsay in their group. She is THAT pleasant. And I can't imagine her being any different. She has the same high school girl friends now. I know them too. But two of them sorta' treated me like the brown kid in lily white school. Well, being ignored is still being treated poorly. I think. I guess, it turns out you will be ignored plenty of times as a grown up too.

We're much older, heavier and bloated now. When we graduated, Lindsay ended up marrying (what I heard) another high school friend, Greg. Greg played on my little league baseball team. He didn't deserve her. Which got me thinking how she must have really seen herself. The guy's claim to fame was to be permanently banned from Paul Brown Stadium for jumping onto the field and stealing the football from Brett Favre during when the Bengals played the Packers.

Yep, that's him in the orange shirt.
What really stands out about Lindsay, all these years? She still has that youthful smile. I see it with her children. And her family. I remember so little time spent with her, except, she showed nothing but kindness throughout our years. It meant a lot for an immigrant kid.
A little kindness is always remembered throughout your life.

Meghan Markle: The Black Princess

NOT my words. I didn't call her that. But she is biracial from a divorced family. I think she's hot. And fortunately, Prince Harry will eventually marry her.
She is an American, for one. Which is like some really bad Touchstone Pictures movie. Plus she's already been divorced. And judging by her Wiki page, she hasn't done dick. Which, in my opinion, makes the perfect wife. Because that means she has no further aspirations except to wear expensive clothes and take care of kids.
Royalty folks. Better than the inbreeding these crowned lymes have been doing. Shit, so much they are pasty white and weird looking. Like...hillbillies are like "they look weeeeeird." So if they procreate, or already have, I didn't really read any further than royalty hooking up with mutt American. Then good for them.

Also, what's the deal with girls wanting to be princesses again? Oh right, equality.
Go fuck off, whores

Criticism

What I love about Clint Eastwood is that he doesn't over-intellectualize his technique of filmmaking. He just does it.
If you like it, you like it. He doesn't need prizes.
He has afforded the right to shrug off so much vitriol based on his politics. He put Spike Lee in his place.
So, it goes without saying that his advice and wisdom passed to him would feel comforting for anyone trying to make anything.
Over analytics KILL your movie.
That's right. We sit around vamping for too long about what everything means means you choke the fuck out of the essence and emotion of a movie. Something he learned from the great (and grossly underrated director Don Siegel).
The other thing...taking yourself too seriously.
I know in a lot of cases a TON of money is involved. So it's a big gamble. Stress will blind you to the love of making movies in the first place.

Also silence. Silence in our business means...death. Many times when someone doesn't get back to you, or doesn't respond, it means you're off the radar. Should you take this personally? Probably not. But you can't help it. The voices in your head that convince you to be better and that you aren't so good or the combination of what was put together doesn't work falls on...silence. It's deadly because you conjure up your own self-evaluation. And that's never pretty.

Jeff Daniels has an amazing interview on Sam Jones' podcast which I beg every actor to listen to. It applies to filmmakers as well. The gist is...make the project and move on. He is an incredibly thoughtful person who evaluates himself enough to realize that being a solid actor beats being a complete self-aggrandizing douchebag that gets buried in the Hollywood machine (Chris Pratt). It's humbling and reassuring to know making anything and content to make it to your best ability is the best reward despite colleagues or industry's critique.
A great listen all around.

High School Reunion

My sister went to her 26th high school reunion.
I'm not entirely sure what the logic in that is. To re-live glory days of...?
It would be my 25th then. I guess. I can't imagine sharing the hopes and dreams of how I was at 18. Though I had plenty. I mostly did my own thing. And hung with misfits. Up until my senior year where I just hung with everyone.
In my year 1993, it was very simple. No internet, no cell phone and if you wanted to know shit you read a newspaper or asked a neighbor. I notice everyone knows everything now. You know the same information a homeless crazy person does. He probably has a better phone.

Reunions are also fun to see who lost all their hair, aged or got fat. From the photos, that would be everyone. Because that's life. In Hollywood, no one loses any of that until you REALLY get older. Even then. I know some who've maintained their look and refuse to let poverty or laziness get the better of them. Most celebrity stars have the dough to cut and tuck (as you can imagine). I actually like that my classmates let themselves go with nature. It is natural and healthy. And life.
I do go to the gym regularly, though do less weights now, because I am old and my joints and muscle feel EVERY pound lifted. If only to maintain elasticity or mobility. Again, sad when the body doesn't do what the mind wants.

I'm also not sure how I could explain my life. I mean, I set out to make movies. And...I do. But I also work for people who make movies that cost a lot of money. So I'm also a cog in the wheel. I'm doing what I did in high school, with a group of friends who make...stories. Though I'm in a different arena, it still feels the same. The backyard movie to which I gathered our group and just made stuff (back then on VHS or Hi8). I suppose you could say it is an envious position. Most are struggling with purpose, I've known this path since age 8 (when I hopped a bus to the middle of nowhere to pickup a Super8mm film camera).

It is weird to think that the kids you grew up with now look like our parent did back then. Tired and hairy. Many of the girls I went to school with look like years of life got to them (which I can say the same for me). What reason would you go to your reunion?

A Fimmaker Is A Parent

Let's be clear here, the ability to give birth to a story you want to tell on screen is a responsibility. When it goes out there, much like your children, you hope it doesn't cause too much destruction. Also...they cost you money you thought it couldn't. Most who hear you are making a movie have zero sympathies. Because they assume it's all fun. It's not all fun. It can be in passing, but the next issue comes up and you have to address it. People also will criticize your children. The kneejerk reaction is to get defensive. You believe you are a decent parent, but turns out your kid is a shit and you have to come to terms with it.
I've experienced a lot of doubt that I am a good parent. Though this type of doubt keeps me on my toes. And reaching to guide a better child. You must listen.
The greatest thing you will learn (if your project comes from your own pocket), people won't understand the sacrifices. I could go into the details of how much things cost, but the reality is...it's never enough. To anyone who has to deal with stretching a buck. No one has sympathies for you over that either. Like you could spend thousands on...anything else you want. A car, a gourmet meal, an expensive television, instead, you make a movie.
A ton of people will be confused as to why you put words to paper to film and why it isn't something you skip to work for. The answer? You are juggling compromise. I have ZERO time to take stock in what I have, what I can afford and how much time I need to do it. Now a lot of people assume that you can recruit others to help. Absolutely true. Here's the deal. To explain the ragtag way to do something takes more effort than doing it yourself. AND you still have to trust that person. NO ONE wants to be subjected to that, and most leave shortly after a few projects. This is an aggressive, chaotic mess that someone has to juggle. The logistics of making a movie shouldn't just be handed off to an eager participant. Much like shooting in a town unfamiliar with production, the idea of making movies is much more enticing than the work that it actually involves. To do it right. I know plenty of filmmakers who could care less who they step on or who they abuse to get their story on film. These stories are fun to hear, horrid to live through.
And no one realizes that the money means all that much. Or the sacrifice to get that money means much. I've sold cameras/film/goods, just anything that wasn't bolted down to get my movie on screen. And people have no idea (nor should they). Everyone has their own sacrifices
Every once in a while I'll re-watch the making of "Blade Runner" to which director Ridley Scott would constantly be in battle with...well, everyone. He spat out one time to an art director "DON'T rationalize with me!" Being a nice person does not make a filmmaker. Though I often think how deeply tyrannical directors sometimes have to be. Everyone seems to come with all types of suggestions. Expecting that the filmmaker is floundering. In reality, it's a balancing act between good ideas. EXCEPT, the one thing most people don't take into consideration...that there is a bigger picture in the end. Despite some uncertainty. People often confuse thoughtfulness for confusion. Much as kindness is to weakness.

Black Friday Microwave Hunt

I went driving around looking for a place to dump my old microwave that broke.
At first I dumped it in my neighborhood dumpster, but thought it felt odd. Then concluded that this probably needs to be taken somewhere.
I stumbled across a hidden (well, to me it was hidden). Target store at a road that ended at an industrial waste area. There were homeless encampment near train tracks. It was fucking cool, and a location to consider come a future episode of my micro-series.

Earlier I was shopping for a new microwave. So I stopped off at K-Mart.
The K-Mart I shop at now isn't what it use to be. With a TON of parking spaces and a store that shares walls with Big Lots, this is a pretty sad sight. No one was there. I mean, there were a lot of people but not as many as that parking lot should hold. I suspect the chaos was last night. I looked at their pithy selection of microwaves and left.
A few miles later I ended up at the Target.
This is a remote one which seemed to cater to...the lower class of Van Nuys (as if there were a thing). I beelined to the electronics. Again, expecting a crowd, but seeing none. Just some stragglers of post-Thanksgiving shopping. It was not really a surprise that the pickings were slim. Everything in the small appliance section that had yellow tags for sale, were gone. From the corner of my eye I spotted a box. It was in the wrong location but around that area. The shelves were cluttered but the box was the small microwave I saw with a yellow tag. Except it wasn't where it should've been. Seems someone had moved it to a different area, perhaps saving it for when they came back. I snatched that fucker up and bolted out of there with so little human traffic (or interaction...self-checkout).
And thus ended my Black Friday (also had to go into the office to complete a project). What a day!

Pay Your Actors

If you are a no-budget production, I implore you to scrape what you can to pay your actors. However much it is.
Personally, I wish I could provide more. I know many people who make movies that MAY feel awkward giving anything they have to the actors. I was very self-conscious about giving what I can because it feels like the equivalent of tipping a penny on a dinner check. It seems insulting. But it is TRULY appreciation to whatever I can offer. It's great to hear from my actors how appreciative they are as well. I had no idea. So, I intend to pay who I can when I can.

I think this attitude of not compensating actors in film school. They still train most to believe that it is a mutual agreement in terms of an exchange. They get reel material and you get actors. I learned last night from a bartender who does acting that even he doesn't get material for his reel. That's HORRIBLE. The very least we learned in film school was NO MATTER WHAT GIVE ACTORS REEL MATERIAL. I use to give them the dailies so they can cut their favorite takes. Some directors/producers are viciously against this because whatever is "out there" reflects on them. I trust who I work with. And, frankly, my reputation isn't going to be ruin on poor performance. It is more in THEIR best interest to choose their best performance. So after you graduate, your attitude carries over. I found flakes like this often. Even when I tell everyone that I do film scan favors for..."hey, give me some stills when you're done so I can promote film." Crickets. This is particularly insulting since...I did a favor.
And that's how you should see actors on the small scale. I know most in this business are brain-dead narcissists. But you OWE it to your actors to show that they are important to your project. I mean, I have the WORST attitude towards actors, yet I stress you showing your appreciation whole-heartedly.
I mean, why wouldn't you want to launch your career in filmmaking with a positive reputation. You may be a complete clown, but you know how the business side should be run.

Thanksgiving 2017

People always ask.."what are you thankful for?"
Health and friendship goes a long way.
Grateful for everything I have in life. Surprising as a teen feeling cursed. I guess you don't really see the blessings until you move past your own bullshit.
The origin of this is that as the pilgrims were suffering through lack of farming skills or survival skills, Indians came out of the forest in their loin clothes and offered mysterious vegetables which we call corn. To which...centuries later (due to corn syrup)...led to diabetes killing all the honkies who gave them disease riddled blankets. That's true friendship.
But we're not going to overlook this long term genocide of the Whites at the hands of Indians to celebrate a gathering of...massive eating.

I'm not sure how other families will be celebrating this Thanksgiving. I can only imagine...sitting down and arguing about everything. Or sharing embarrassing stories. Or husbands seeing whose wife has the bigger knockers. I never had this John Hughes get together. But I did spend it with a family who I am still close friends with today. Great food, great conversation and...good fun.

Ohioians love a Thanksgiving setting. We are Indian territory. Growing up Thanksgiving meant a lot. As it still should. They are generous year in and year out. So the celebration was just to drink and be happy. I miss those days. Happy Thanksgiving all.

Me Three

The "MeToo" movement vexes me.
If space aliens came to America and listened in on this movement you'd think all women had sex against their will.
Probably just guys who suck at it.
I'm sure I would've been accused a few times if being...rapey. Especially in college and when I drank HEAVILY.
IF women truly stood next to each other, we're screwed. But women are bitchy towards one another. But pretend like they aren't. Someone is always prettier, smarter, has more followers, and their inexplicably proud of what their significant others can buy them. Or the home they keep.
Men are proud of their work, having a pretty wife and kids.
None of this which feeds into outrage. I suppose. We're suppose to be boring people.

If people wanted to be a real MeToo, how about... "I treat people fairly"...Me Too!

Women Only Concerts

Remember when girls had a girls-only "Wonder Woman" screening and some dudes lost their shit?
Well, women only concerts are here.
Do I give a fuck? No. I don't want to be beaten by sweaty hairy clams. Seriously, women...in their natural element and NOT made up to be dolls look close to dudes. That's why we look at Playboy models. Because they are fuck dolls. Women who aren't put together well...well, look if you aren't gay you don't want a dude. You want a sexy curvy woman. Okay?
So this concert that's for slags only? Who fucking cares? Most likely music dudes don't want to hear anyway. Though, I've been to industrial metal shows that say otherwise. Girls can be aggressive. Especially with war paint, I mean...makeup.

Anyhooters, let the babies have their bottles. In fact, it gives you MORE time with Pornhub or XHamster. Or...ChixWitDix...I mean...
...whatever.

Protect Your Liver

My friend's wife passed away at the age of 40 when her liver enlarged and she basically died of poisoning. If you drank a lot, your cleaning system will eventually shut down and the waste has nowhere to go except back into your blood system. A guy at the gym told me his childhood friend was in the hospital on dialysis where they told him his kidney and liver failure gave him hours to live. David Cassidy, heartthrob, has organ failure due to his alcoholism.

Booze is tough. Again, I still feel residual effects of hard drinking. But someone once told me...it doesn't matter who you are, how you react to booze is different for everyone. Some survive decades of hard drinking, others...a few rough nights will put them down.

I think the best bet is to clean yourself from the possibilities of poisoning. Life is already full of peril, live it to the best of your conscious abilities.
The very odd thing about this all...having spoken to my friend for hours on end...he gave no indication she was struggling with booze. It's a silent killer. Suck up your pride and seek help if you suffer.

Al Franken...Again?!

So the senator/SNL alum was blasted again for grabbing ass at a Minnesota State Fair.
The problem with Minnesota is so many people overlook ass-grabbing because it's a really Leftist state. Odd to say since most of them are Hitler's master race candidates.
But here we are again. As a girl was getting her photo taken with the guy, he got a handful of rump.

Now...I'm a guy. As is Franken. He's a powerful dude. Do you think he'd be getting this much heat if he wasn't such a loudmouth? Hell, I've had my ass grabbed by cops. Not lady cops either which would give me a boner. But dude cops. Probably fags. But they got their jollies. You can't pretend people don't do that shit just to get a taste. But, fuck...I've never grabbed ass until I asked. Which may also be why I don't get to grab too many asses.

Franken's only problem is that he is so vocal on human rights and he violates spatial rights (looks like) repeatedly. Here's an idea...again, shut your fucking Lorne Michael's sucking face and just lay the fuck low. People love dirt and they will find it.

Charles Manson

Guy's dead.
If you think about it, O.J. Simpson got away with murder and Manson...he didn't kill anyone. He just commanded his bitches to do so.
Manson being a white supremacist (born in Cincinnati) and O.J. being a superstar running back in lily white Southern Cal...it's an odd pairing of justice.
Anyways, guy's done dead and let the media take over. Most kids today will probably think Marilyn Manson died.
So be it.

Platitudes And Winners

Former Ohio State Head coach Jim Tressel one of my favorite coaches (and hated by many) wrote a book called "The Winner's Manual."
Talk about ego.
But he is a winner. Though fell out in a small form of disgrace.
That doesn't mean his platitudes aren't wrong.
It's amazing how our lives can be guided by a simple attitude change. Though fun, being miserable in a miserable town isn't how life should be lived.
A few things in the book have more to do with...perspective.

"If you heed your fears, you'll die never knowing what a great person you might have been" - Dr. Robert Schuller

"Champions believe in themselves when no one else does"

"Faith doesn't mean the absence of fear. It means having the energy to ahead, right alongside the fear" - Sharon Salberg

"I can accept failure. Everyone fails. But I can't accept not trying." - Michael Jordan

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" -Eleanor Roosevelt

Mrs. Roosevelt's statement and the one of fear sticks with me the most. There is no success in no having dreams to begin with. Dreams, to me, use to mean...pipe dreams. I would guess my Mother instilled in me this lesson that dreams are frivolous. Not because she was some angry bitter woman. But because she was always on survival mode. Dreams are frivolous to a third world nation. Even though Disney has you believe dreams is all they had. That's bullshit. Faith is what they have. And they push alongside it, and are surprisingly much more content than people who dream. It is the cynic in me that would tell you your dream is dumb and unattainable, if you go too far beyond your capabilities. To which Bette Davis would argue "Attempt the impossible in order to improve your work." And no one wants to fuck with Bette Davis.
My point?
Making movies is scary shit. Mostly because you want the people involved to feel they are doing something worthwhile. Always in the back of my mind, they have many more sacrifices than my own. I do not know their daily struggles or concerns, but make it a point to address them if need be. To me I owe it to them to make something they are proud of. This is the fear. The solution, for me, is to keep making stuff to the best of my abilities. I have no guidelines or pressure from "the bank" to deal with. But I do have an obligation to the my cast and crew. It's a lot to handle. And I would be lying to say that it is fun. My directing friend smiles whenever I bring this up. He works a very unstable job and can't think of any other way to spend his money than to put it into his projects. I do the same thing. So the stake are higher. Though, his attitude is the money was well spent. To me, not enough money to make it the way we wanted it to be. Guess who gets more done? (actually I do, but his attitude is still better than my own).

We lost a lot of platitudes as we get older. These faith based chances we make no longer just involve ourselves. We drag in loved ones. And they care only that you are healthy and happy. Though the pursuit of excellence in filmmaking requires a herculean effort very few people understand. Even I don't understand a lot of times. Above all this, you must constantly remind yourself the privilege of having any opportunity regardless.
I was walking around Hollywood Boulevard the other night and saw all these faces fascinated by...Hollywood. Most of these faces understand the mechanics of making movies, but the commitment to be in the company of greatness is still elusive. Regardless of what YouTube or Instagram have you believe. There isn't a platitude that ever encourages you to show ass shots to get "likes".
So I like to offer my own platitude:
Keep your head up. And make things!

"Justice League" (2017)

I must be really out of touch because I really liked this movie. Through awful computer generated world building and looking past Ben Affleck's rapey face and the two douchebag Mexicans sitting next to me who couldn't stop yapping the entire movie, it is just...fun. I'm certain in a few months when I watch this again, it won't hold up. Mostly because I won't have these two Mexicans and partially because audience participation is a lot of it.
If you saw "Batman v. Superman" you know Superman eats it. So...in this one they have to fight the bringing together of three power boxes that open a portal to Steppenwolf's power thus ending the world. A lot of questions here. Including the fact that the guy seems to be doing fine without the box. Except, he has to deal with a formed league that felt triggered by some cosmic rumble..fine. Whatever. What I sense is the comraderie. Considering Jason Mamoa who plays Aquaman essentially grabs the thug with a sense of humor that had Ice Cube been more ripped...
So they gather to collect these relics of world destruction. At the same time...bring back an old friend to help.
It's silly and off but still enjoyable. Perhaps it's the callbacks of tunes from the source films. Or the nostalgia I feel for the team. Though, the original Justice League seemed to be a little more...present. These guys do a great job falling into place. Much love to Gal Gadot. Whose presence always jolts me with unsavory thoughts. A woman who is incredibly feminine and looks like she can beat ass. Her sweetness is her thing. That's that rah rah America feel that goes missing since movies cater to the world. Still...a fun watch.

The Jerry Jones Video

"It was taken four years ago, at the Melrose Hotel in Dallas. A male Cowboys fan, who is white, asks Jones to record a video for his fiancee.

Jones, his eyes heavy, looks at the camera and says, “Jennifer, congratulations on the wedding. Now, you know he’s with a black girl tonight, don’t you?”

The camera then pans to a black man, who ducks away from the shot, and back to Jones, who is laughing.

The 75-year old Jones issued an apology through the team that said, “That comment was inappropriate. It’s not who I am, and I’m sorry.”

CLICK FOR VIDEO HERE  

What the flying fuck?!

Yeah, Jerry seems a bit drunk. And he implies that's it somewhat more salacious that it's a black girl he's fucking on his last days of bachelor hood. But it is dudes being dudes. And people want to take that out of our hands. Fuck you. Jerry shouldn't have to apologize for goofing for his fans.

 

Here Jerry is doing something nice. And he gets blasted. Note to other people. Don't do anything nice. And the dickbag who posted this private video should be shot. He was trying to be nice. Can't people see just a little bit of effort from Skeletor?

Aly Raisman vs. Gaby Douglas

Gymnast Aly Raisman accused Larry Nassar, a former team doctor of the U.S. Women's Gymnastics team of sexual assault. To which Gaby Douglas, a teammate responded by telling her and other girls:
"It is our responsibility as women to dress modestly and be classy," Douglas said. "Dressing in a provocative/sexual way entices the wrong crowd."

In other words, personal accountability. Dress for what you attract. A few things are off about the statement. First, it's a team doctor. Not like she dressed to be examined. Or in this case, most likely undressed. Second, this statement is about women in general. Though, a woman could dress in a potato sack and still get aggressively mashed on.

BUT, I do understand Douglas's point. Which is, stop looking like Instagram whores. McKayla Mauroney, another former gymnast, is what boners are made from...and she flaunts it:

The wrong crowd is me.
 Look, dress like you want to make you feel desirable, but make sure you realize the flip side to that is sweaty unwashed animals ogling you. Douglas's statement isn't relevant in a team doctor aspect, so it's really dumb of her to say so. And may be jealousy that prompted that. But it is a note worth taking for the other women who are flashing themselves on social media.

Reverend Jesse Jackson & Parkinson's

People are getting rude with Jackson's statement that he has been stricken with Parkinson's Disease. God, that's awful. Politics aside, it strikes the nervous system and makes you involuntarily shake. It's awful thing to deal with and I wish him the best.
I think with the back and forth and the harsh racism/bigotry and fight for race equality, it's easy to forget that we are human and we will meet the end.
I would say, if we were to put a magnifying glass to Jackson's life, it would be painted with such a historical brush that we'd be ashamed at our disgust for what the media has made him out to be today. He may have lost sight of his friend and mentor Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was attempting. But I'm sure he meant well for his people.
But look, all diseases are bad and we will be hit with one of them. It's just a matter of time. So appreciate the health and well being you have now.

Gene Simmons And Money

Apparently Simmons is a sell-out, and he don't give a fuck. But let's face a few facts, he had Shannon Tweed suck off his ugly ass in his prime, due to...

From Gene Simmons on MSNBC:
Think money doesn't buy happiness? Think again, says Kiss frontman Gene Simmons, 68.In his recently released book, "On Power: My Journey Through the Corridors of Power and How You Can Get More Power," the musician draws on his personal and business experiences to drive home the significance of money and power."Power and, yes, money will certainly increase your chances of making you, and those around you, healthier and happier," he writes in the book.
The notoriously blunt musician tells

"Money absolutely buys happiness," says Simmons. He gives this example: Imagine that your mother needs a hip replacement, he says, or that she's got cancer and has one chance of survival."Without money, you're f-----," he says. "If you cure your mother, or give to charity, or feed your child or protect your family — it is only money that can do that."The outspoken musician explains that he doesn't prescribe to the notion that money is insignificant and all you need in life is love."That's a lie," he says, adding that money is not a "romantic idea.""The Ethiopian woman on the sands of the Kalahari Desert in Africa gives her child all the love any child could ever want," he says. But that's not enough."She doesn't have any money or power," explains Simmons. "That child will be loved and will die in her arms."The rock star adds that money is so vital because it allows you to meet your most basic physiological needs. In his book, the Kiss singer references the hierarchy of needs pyramid, which was developed by renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow.Maslow's theory argues that there is an order in which humans worry about things they need to survive and flourish. At the very bottom of the pyramid are "physiological needs," which include food, shelter and clothing.Higher up on the pyramid are needs like safety, love, esteem and self-actualization. However, says Simmons, you can't even begin to climb up the pyramid if you don't have money to sustain your most basic needs at the bottom rung.Only when you have money to buy the items you need to survive can you begin to espouse love, says the musician. "First money, then love," he says, adding that "if you're going to be a miserable son of a b----, it's still better to be a rich miserable son of a b----."Simmons reiterates the importance of acquiring money if you want to be happy and he uses lottery winners as an example."You ever see a person who wins the lottery and wins $100 million? How sad do they look?" he asks sarcastically."Money is the fuel of life," says the musician. "Without money, you're going nowhere."

Well, depending on how you see it. Let's say you rob the bank of a country whose currency is about to tank. But money...well, money has a lot of fun points. It's not that money buys you happiness, it's that having money allows people who think money buys them happiness to be cater to you. And who doesn't like to be catered to.
If you ever wonder how this works,
I don't buy the hottest clothes or shoes and I am overall pretty unkempt. I get treated like shit at sit down restaurants. That's what is expected. So with even a little bit of money I COULD clean myself up. But, I know I have a lot more money than the people serving me right now. And could live up to what they suck up to for money. See? It makes others treat you better because THEY care about money. Is that happiness? I would say, in a tiny moment...yes. But it doesn't sustain itself.
Doing good and being a good person does SO much more than the money that comes with your job. It may seem like a weird way to put it, but money...to me anyway, seems to stave off misery. Or at least allow you to focus on something else. It doesn't fix your problems if you come at it with mental problems. That would be hilarious. If a schizophrenic guy is cured by winning the lottery. So he was faking all along until good fortune hit him.
Oh, what a world. 

Al Franken

Bro, look deep in the mirror and say "dammit, you're good enough."
Senator Al Franken was accused of groping Leanne Tweeden.
I can't blame him. Though...while she slept? C'mon dude.
Anyway, Roy Moore, the Right Wing scumbag under-age groper and this dude should really have dinner together. Trade notes. Because Tweeden is a real woman. Teenage girls, Moore...really?
Now this is a woman!:

Jokes aside, if I were the handsy senator, I would've kept my fool mouth shut about everything. Now that he's such a loudmouth advocate of...whatever Leftist bullshit there is, he paints a massive target on himself.
Though, to his credit, he owned up to it. Does it make it easier to stomach. For me it does, I mean...look at her. Fuck.

The Walk Of Shame

One of the reasons why I spit on Hollywood, and in this case on it's stars now is simply because they congratulate themselves way too often over nothing but bad behavior. I use to love the stories about making movies, but slowly they became heart-wrenching stories of abuse. I've not conducted myself in that fashion, because...I value the craft. What was disappointing was that others had such success in acting and directing, it seemed one almost had to be that self-destructive to be...the best. Richard Dreyfus, Dustin Hoffman, Warren Beatty...the list goes on.
It doesn't surprise me that Hollywood has decided NOT to get rid of stars who have been accused of sexual abuse. And I get it. They wouldn't have a sidewalk if they did. Because actors/directors and anyone really connected to the arts have some massive hole of mental illness that may never be cured. It takes a lot of rejection, hurt, self-esteem issues and so forth to come to Hollywood to get in front of a camera and shine. Marilyn Monroe destroyed herself over it. Though some could argue this place was the only place that would accept her mental illness (also politics). These people here are awful human beings. They aren't the mirror to society you typically see because everyone is pretty cold. They don't see your point of view nor pretend to. Their stories are always much more interesting than yours. And they pretty much ignore philosophical conversations. That would mean they would delve deep into their miserable childhoods. In short, they're shallow.

But, as a young guy trying to make movies to mean something to people...movies meant something to me. I don't consider this a cynical thought as time has proven it to be true. But when ugly people meet beautiful people and the ugly people have the power, it's a no-brainer to abuse this power. I would. Thankfully I don't have that authority. Though, obviously I make conscious effort not to hurt others as I do my best to tell my tales.

A friend once expressed to me that whenever we did photo shoots I didn't have a mashy gropey guy face on. To me, art is light and shapes. Beautiful women are beautiful. And my attraction to them is that they see themselves as such. Corny as it may sound, many models I've worked with don't know what they look like on camera. And my job is to show potential.
It seems the reality to a LOT of people getting into entertainment wasn't to explore deeper spiritual meaning, but to use it as a gateway to abuse. And to me...that is the real tragedy.

Meryl Streep's New Movie

I'm going to go see it. Because Steven Spielberg directed it. And it was shot on film.
It's about the Washington Post and the first woman to ever do something or other. Sick Left leaning blathering shit that will most likely gather a ton of boycotts based on Meryl stupid fucking comments. And for the Democrats to say again how brave they are.

See, I put movies first and politics second. I have zero problems going to see his movies. Whereas, Olivia cuntface Wilde doesn't want conservatives to be fans of hers. Many will answer with "who the fuck is that cuntface?"
Look, politics aside, I'm a big fan of solid acting and good stories. But warping a story to fit the political agenda sours my stomach. If it's entertaining, that's a different story. I mean, "Munich" skated that line. And got the Jews to be a little upset with Spielber-go. That's the problem WITH political movies...they can't be fair.
I wonder what it's like behind closed doors for promoting "The Post" after Meryl was caught hugging and kissing Harvey Weinstein in photos. Can you imagine her backpedaling about her association with Spielberg and Hanks about it? Doubt it. They most likely just sighed deeply and shrug. It is what it is. I don't think she'll be out there promoting it. See, her ego and her mouth can't handle real America.

Continuity Is For Pussies

I was listening to Illeana Douglas's podcast "I Blame Dennis Hopper" where she spoke about Martin Scorsese's longtime editor. Their stance...continuity is for shit. I've heard this before, in terms of John Cassavetes. But it got me thinking about the filmmaking standards we...who make movies, tend to focus on that in the end...really don't matter.
For instance, color correction. Many times, a colorist will break themselves hoping to get the perfect match between shots. This is about not taking audience out of movie. They smooth out edits so that it feels like one continuous scene. In Scorsese's world, none of that matters.
And...it does seem like a lazy cop-out to say this. Since Scorsese deals with DeNiro who does something different when the inspiration hits him. But, it also got me thinking..."yeah, what the fuck difference does it make anyway?" People know they are watching a movie. Movie staples are throughout the movie itself (such as having a conversation, then editing it so that the conversation continues elsewhere). This is film  language that we all became aware of and accepted. Like match cutting a cleaver coming down on someone, only to cut to a woman in some parade screaming. It was a way to cover up violence but still shorten time in a film.

I get it. The technical is so very obsessed about. Why I hate David Fincher movies.

Jody Warner's Drunken Uber Non-Ride

Pretty blonde professional women are funny. Jody Warner is the assistant district attorney in Texas who was picked up by an Uber driver outside a bar:

Warner: "I want to go home so badly, but you're so stupid I want the cops to come so that they can fuck you up."
Platt: "Ma'am, please."
Warner: "No. 'No, ma'am, please.' Dude, you're all- everything's being recorded. I'm an assistant district attorney, so shut the fuck up."

Platt said Warner tried to use her job as a means to intimidate him.

Platt: "I'm asking you politely to please step out of my vehicle."
Warner: "No. Because now I'm pissed the fuck off. Either drop me off at my house or we'll wait for the cops because I'm not wrong."
Platt: "I am waiting for the cops."
Warner: "Then we'll wait for the cops."

District Attorney Faith Johnson contacted Platt and apologized to him for Warner's actions.
Johnson later said, after reviewing and investigating, Warner's conduct was counter to the department's core principle of integrity, and it won't be tolerated.

Honestly if I were the driver, I'd start masturbating to her filthy mouth. But this dude was SUPER classy. He was incredibly and inexplicably polite. But just simply refused to drive her to home. So they waited. And then they waited for the cops. And when they showed up, they just drove her home. Then she got fired.
Look, I've been in this situation where I was a completely shitty drunk to the taxi driver. He was so pissed he actually drove me BACK to the bar and dumped me there. Where I got into major trouble. This is no excuse. I'm not what else Platt could've said to squash a drunken entitled cunt, but probably nothing. She even made fun of his stupid hat, apparently.
He is smart to do what he did and to smear her career. But let's be honest, she got her job because she was a woman. As did the district attorney. They're great at their job, I'm sure, but also...this puts a spotlight on true equality and why women should never wield ultimate power. Because in a situation like this, the more even-keeled male driver was able to 1) not get accused of assault 2) not accused of rape.
Warner set her cause back.

LiAngelo Ball: Freeeeedom!

Fortunately for this walking stereotype Donald Trump was visiting China at the time:

“The basketball players, by the way — I know a lot of people are asking — I will tell you, when I heard about it two days ago, I had a great conversation with President Xi,” Trump told reporters on Air Force One as he returned from Asia. “What they did was unfortunate. You know, you’re talking about very long prison sentences. [The Chinese] do not play games.

“[Xi] was terrific, and they’re working on it right now,” Trump continued. “And hopefully everything is going to work out. And I know they’re very grateful because they were told exactly what happened. But it’s a very, very rough situation with what happened to them.”

Trump still sounds dumb, but when I was a kid and did something stupid (nothing like stealing, I threw a bottle at some guy just walking around in the back of my folks' restaurant and the guy snitches us out), this sounded like my Pop telling my Mom we weren't terrible kids. Chinese people don't negotiate. Trust me, when I went to these vintage camera shows I would dodge the mainlanders, because they are ruthless.
I give Trump a ton of credit for laying out his view on it to the Chinese (incahoots to sell America or not). To three American representatives who basically showed the world Blacks are thieving animals and can't help themselves. Personally, I would've backhanded these guys and made them rot in prison. But apparently Trump has a soft spot for potential basketball stars (like they'll cure cancer). But, it's this type of temperate behavior that will get Trump back in the good graces of the ballers again. Almost like he slipped his programming and remembered he was a Democrat at one point in his life.
They are free now and returning to Los Angeles, where his brother Lorenzo Ball can continue to steal from the inner city by selling overpriced shoes.

Really Daniel Franzese?

First off, who the fuck is Daniel Franzese?!
Second... 
Why androids are going to swallow our asses up:
 
Actress Bijou Phillips has apologized to “Mean Girls” star Daniel Franzese, who accused Phillips of body-shaming and physically assaulting him on the set of the 2001 indie movie “Bully.”
“I want to write to address what Daniel has said,” the actress told TMZ. “I don’t remember that time well, those years are a blur. I was a teenager and reckless in my behavior. I know Daniel to be a trustworthy and honest person, and to find out through social media that I was not the friend I thought I was to him made me so sad.”
She added, “I am so mortified by this behavior and have contacted Daniel and apologized to him privately. I am not and never have been homophobic. I have nothing but love for the LGBTQ community and Daniel.”

I'm not disputing for a minute Mr. Franzese feels the way he does. But this is like bitch on bitch crime. AND she was a teenager than. Unbelievable how deep resentment and anger and cattiness come from...absolute nobodies.
I don't think ANYONE should be held accountable in their 30's what they did when they were teens (with exception to murder or sexual assault). Franzese is the reason our society has become soft. That a girl was able to give you a titty-twister and you freaked. Give it back, dude!
To be honest, most bullying girls do that because they either like you or they hate themselves. To be frank, most of the times, they hate themselves. Or over hormonal. You got off lucky, pal. 

Leadership And Success

I'm reading a fascinating book on success and leadership.
Without going into too much detail, the idea is that it is all about self-satisfaction. You don't need a Rolls-Royce to feel accomplished or like you've beat society. What it boils down to is that you did the best you felt you could. Yes, felt...you could. I would assume many on skid row or tent city did the best they were capable of. And if living day to day in an existence that requires very little frees you from the constraints of...expectations from others...you have found your own success.
Though, the thing is...there is also purpose. That is what homeless will lack when searching. Purpose. Purpose is the ingrained feeling in practically everyone who is trying to figure out what their place in society is. Most (as I've written in the past) link them to their children. Children give purpose. It means they have to attempt to keep something living alive (I know, I'm simplifying here but bear with me).
The association here to Hollywood is...a lot have found monetary rewards and accolades without a shred of success or purpose. That is deeply profound to me, because I sincerely believe it is the root of all the assaults that are occurring in this town (since its discovery).
The lack of purpose or sense of success despite fame and fortune is an empty hole to which self-satisfaction won't exist. BUT there is a difference between self-righteous (Meryl Streep) and self-satisfaction. I doubt Meryl has dumped the demons in her psyche as much as Brett Ratner has. Or Harvey Weinstein. His perceived success is deeply rooted in what he was able to get away with for so long. His identity tied up with horrific sense of entitlement and blustery bullying. This is an empty person lacking purpose. Had his purpose been to usher undeserving actors and movies to Best Actor and Best Picture accolades, this is an emptiness that could not even be filled with the highest of honors (now since tarnished).
Kevin Spacey...most could tell was battling anger due (presumably) by his lack of freedom of being a gay man. That doesn't excuse his pedophilia, but it does explain how his behavior would exhibit less people to speak about it. In essence, his "success" didn't cover the hole that was missing in him. The self-satisfaction that he was the best person to himself and to others. In his world, success was revenge.
Which is typically what we all came to Hollywood to accomplish. A sense of revenge. Most of us who made movies, to which I joke...make movies to finally write our own history. We can bully the hot girl who wouldn't give us the time of day. Or have the jock get de-pants. Or live our space fantasy. I would bet most of us came out here to prove that we are better than our fellow man, instead of what is really important...that we were happy with ourselves.
I got to talking to a friend yesterday that we both shared our stories of women who left us. They were very very similar. In that we both stubbornly came out to Los Angeles to carve out our place. Originally, I set out to direct and write. Fame was to be the aphrodisiac that was lacking in a relationship where the women lost respect for us. What we overlooked wasn't the money or the big home or the fame or the envy. What we forgot, was that we didn't do any of it for ourselves. We did it to impress them. Then when push came to shove, we lost them because we didn't do it for ourselves. When I was first dumped, my first reaction was that she would be sorry. That I would be a success and she'd end up married and miserable to someone back east. This isn't self-satisfaction. It certainly wasn't success. It was success to spite others. And this is the emptiness that runs rampant in this town. Not saying it's not understandable, but when that occurs, you fracture yourself from the realities of yourself. In the saddest sense of irony, you could live in that mansion in Beverly Hills with ten cars and remain pining for that lost sense of youthful exuberant...purpose (watch "Citizen Kane").
Recently, I spoke with an acting class who all seemed so wide-eyed and excited about what was ahead of them. Some young. Others young-ish. The town is brutal because of people who have gone through hard rejection (confused that even pretty people will face this). To this, I told them a simple thing.."stay real to yourself." What I hope they got from that is...you are a unique type that someone will want. Don't adjust for them. Afterwards, I spoke to the teacher who had invited me to his theater and we talked a little.
I told him I was working on these little micro-episodic shorts that have...no reasoning behind them. He was perplexed "so let me get this straight, you are making these short films, shot ON film and you are funding them yourself with no real goal to want to direct."
Yep.
I walked away from his place with his face still skewed in confusion. I've finally gotten to a point in my life where the simple act of doing for my own benefit and hopefully to the ones involved was the joy in itself and serves no other purpose than we are making and creating and enjoying the process on my own terms (which is typically neurotic). Answering to others means we're on their schedule for success. Fine. No big deal. The best I can do for myself is that I continue to enjoy what I do and what I can do for others. Which is why I think my final goal is to guide other filmmakers to make films. On film, of course.

Losing Your Wallet

I lost my wallet. And with it my check card, my I.D. and a lot of personal information.
That's a bummer.
The bigger deal is. I don't have a local bank branch so I am without money for the next few days. Or am I?
The interesting thing about technology and what I bash and bitch about, is the ease of access. It also means someone else can access. In this case, tech has made it possible to never leave your home. Seriously. As I cancelled my card and ordered a new one, it doesn't mean I can't use my bank account. In fact, I can have Amazon deliver food to my door, pretty much within hours or days. Will I? Nah. It still rankles me to do things like that. But I did investigate into things like Google Wallet (which sponsors this blog) and a few other money managing applications.
As always, I feel like I sort of am behind in technology. Most people who shifted our world towards that are the guiding force in the future. I've learned my lesson, to at least shift where things need to be shifted. If only to make life easier.
Now I have to change all my automatic bill pay information. Which is the bigger hassle.

Jenny McCarthy

So Jenny McCarthy has a story about how during the casting of "Under Siege" he told her that Steven Seagal said he needed to see her tits.
She claims to have ran out crying "buy my Playboy tape."
Um...what big fucking deal is it then?
That being said, it's probably a no-brainer casted Erika Eleniak most likely showed her goods (God, I had a crush on her, then I met William McNamara, who was boning her at his prime..fucking dick!...he's actually a really nice dude).
This is gonna sound like a cop-out on my part, but...what's the big fucking deal about showing your tits? If it meant a mortgage payment, I'd show my dick. Or get people to pay me to stop showing it. Either way...a lot of people are laughing their asses off that McCarthy had the gnads to claim this was harassment. She sat in fuckin' Santa's lap nude.
courtesy of Playboy:

George Takei

I'm certain this dude did what the guy accusing him said he did. I'm sure most guys have reoccurring nightmares of waking up with George Takei rubbing your junk and telling you to relax.
How the fuck did this dude become the ambassador to one liners? I think it's because all our hot hip girls started to kowtow to him. So we naturally follow where snatch takes us (God are we dumb).
The guy is a perverted homo. Most homos are. And it's natural, since it's dude on dude shit. Meaning...aggressive shit. I went to a friend's gay birthday party years ago at Oil Can Harry's in Studio City. I gotta be honest. It was fun as shit. And I danced like a retard. And it was actually nice that anyone was attracted to you. Gay or not, in that scenario. I'm pretty much a prime candidate for homo bait. Small, brown and hairless.
You know what I was really surprise about? Technically cross-dressers aren't fags. I know Ed Wood sort of cleared that path. But it always surprises me that men could wear women's clothes and not be gay.
I really hate to break it to a LOT of you, but the thing with Kevin Spacey where he connected being a pedophile and being gay. He said it so casually you have to understand, even HE believes it's deviant behavior. Now he's in rehabilitation over it. That's an admittance that being gay is wrong.

Two Young Mormons

Imagine my surprise when two young mormon dudes showed up to my home and regaled me with their spiel about...coming to the church of latter day saints.
I rambled about how when I lived in Ohio I had a couple of mormons who lived next door to me and they eventually gave up but collected beer from others to deliver to me. I loved those dudes. They never remotely try to change me.
These two assholes...it was odd. They didn't get the humor in that two of their brethren went door to door collecting beer for me. Probably in hopes I'd drink myself to death. My girlfriend who had lived with me at the time also would tell me one of them would look through the window at her as she cleaned our apartment. Most likely they heard us fucking too. They always side-eyed me weird-like.
I'm not gonna lie, there is some really boner-ific about stiff-ass mormons hearing you get some pussy.
I really have nothing against mormons. In this scenario, they interrupted me in thinking about where I'd lost my wallet. It's been a tough day.
Hey, maybe their kindness would've helped. I should've sent them out for Thai food for me.

Ellen Page vs. Brett Ratner

From actress Ellen Page:

“You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He said this about me during a cast and crew “meet and greet” before we began filming, X Men: The Last Stand. I was eighteen years old. He looked at a woman standing next to me, ten years my senior, pointed to me and said: “You should fuck her to make her realize she’s gay.” He was the film’s director, Brett Ratner.
I was a young adult who had not yet come out to myself. I knew I was gay, but did not know, so to speak. I felt violated when this happened. I looked down at my feet, didn’t say a word and watched as no one else did either. This man, who had cast me in the film, started our months of filming at a work event with this horrific, unchallenged plea. He “outed” me with no regard for my well-being, an act we all recognize as homophobic. I proceeded to watch him on set say degrading things to women. I remember a woman walking by the monitor as he made a comment about her “flappy pussy”.
We are all entitled to come into an awareness of our sexual orientation privately and on our own terms. I was young and although already a working actor for so long I had in many ways been insulated, growing up on film sets instead of surrounded by my peers. This public, aggressive outing left me with long standing feelings of shame, one of the most destructive results of homophobia. Making someone feel ashamed of who they are is a cruel manipulation, designed to oppress and repress. I was robbed of more than autonomy over my ability to define myself. Ratner’s comment replayed in my mind many times over the years as I encountered homophobia and coped with feelings of reluctance and uncertainty about the industry and my future in it. The difference is that I can now assert myself and use my voice to to fight back against the insidious queer and transphobic attitude in Hollywood and beyond. Hopefully having the position I have, I can help people who may be struggling to be accepted and allowed to be who they are –to thrive. Vulnerable young people without my advantages are so often diminished and made to feel they have no options for living the life they were meant to joyously lead.
I got into an altercation with Brett at a certain point. He was pressuring me, in front of many people, to don a t-shirt with “Team Ratner” on it. I said no and he insisted. I responded, “I am not on your team.” Later in the day, producers of the film came to my trailer to say that I “couldn’t talk like that to him.” I was being reprimanded, yet he was not being punished nor fired for the blatantly homophobic and abusive behavior we all witnessed. I was an actor that no one knew. I was eighteen and had no tools to know how to handle the situation.
I have been a professional actor since the age of ten. I’ve had the good fortune to work with many honorable and respectful collaborators both behind and in front of the camera. But the behavior I’m describing is ubiquitous. They (abusers), want you to feel small, to make you insecure, to make you feel like you are indebted to them, or that your actions are to blame for their unwelcome advances.
When I was sixteen a director took me to dinner (a professional obligation and a very common one). He fondled my leg under the table and said, “You have to make the move, I can’t.” I did not make the move and I was fortunate to get away from that situation. It was a painful realization: my safety was not guaranteed at work. An adult authority figure for whom I worked intended to exploit me, physically. I was sexually assaulted by a grip months later. I was asked by a director to sleep with a man in his late twenties and to tell them about it. I did not. This is just what happened during my sixteenth year, a teenager in the entertainment industry.
Look at the history of what’s happened to minors who’ve described sexual abuse in Hollywood. Some of them are no longer with us, lost to substance abuse and suicide. Their victimizers? Still working. Protected even as I write this. You know who they are; they’ve been discussed behind closed doors as often as Weinstein was. If I, a person with significant privilege, remain reluctant and at such risk simply by saying a person’s name, what are the options for those who do not have what I have?
Let’s remember the epidemic of violence against women in our society disproportionately affects low income women, particularly women of color, trans and queer women and indigenous women, who are silenced by their economic circumstances and profound mistrust of a justice system that acquits the guilty in the face of overwhelming evidence and continues to oppress people of color. I have the means to hire security if I feel threatened. I have the wealth and insurance to receive mental health care. I have the privilege of having a platform that enables me to write this and have it published, while the most marginalized do not have access to such resources. The reality is, women of color, trans and queer and indigenous women have been leading this fight for decades (forever actually). Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Winona LaDuke, Miss Major, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, to name a few. Misty Upham fought tirelessly to end violence against indigenous women, domestic workers and undocumented women. Misty was found dead at the bottom of a cliff three years ago. Her father, Charles Upham, just made a Facebook post saying she was raped at a party by a Miramax executive. The most marginalized have been left behind. As a cis, white lesbian, I have benefited and have the privileges I have, because of these extraordinary and courageous individuals who have led the way and risked their lives while doing so. White supremacy continues to silence people of color, while I have the rights I have because of these leaders. They are who we should be listening to and learning from.
These abusers make us feel powerless and overwhelmed by their empire. Let’s not forget the sitting Supreme Court justice and President of the United States. One accused of sexual harassment by Anita Hill, whose testimony was discredited. The other proudly describing his own pattern of assault to an entertainment reporter. How many men in the media – titans of industry - need to be exposed for us to understand the gravity of the situation and to demand the fundamental safety and respect that is our right?
Bill Cosby was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. Harvey was known to be predatory. The crimes were his, but many were complicit. Many more chose to look the other way. We continue to celebrate filmmaker Roman Polanski, who was convicted of drugging and anally raping a young girl and who fled sentencing. A fugitive from justice. I’ve heard the industry decry Weinstein’s behavior and vow to affect meaningful change. But let’s be truthful: the list is long and still protected by the status quo. We have work to do. We cannot look the other way.
I did a Woody Allen movie and it is the biggest regret of my career. I am ashamed I did this. I had yet to find my voice and was not who I am now and felt pressured, because “of course you have to say yes to this Woody Allen film.” Ultimately, however, it is my choice what films I decide to do and I made the wrong choice. I made an awful mistake.
I want to see these men have to face what they have done. I want them to not have power anymore. I want them to sit and think about who they are without their lawyers, their millions, their fancy cars, houses upon houses, their “playboy” status and swagger.
What I want the most, is for this to result in healing for the victims. For Hollywood to wake up and start taking some responsibility for how we all have played a role in this. I want us to reflect on this endemic issue and how this power dynamic of abuse leads to an enormous amount of suffering. Violence against women is an epidemic in this country and around the world. How is this cascade of immorality and injustice shaping our society? One of the greatest risks to a pregnant woman’s health in the United States is murder. Trans women of color in this country have a life expectancy of thirty-five. Why are we not addressing this as a society? We must remember the consequences of such actions. Mental health issues, suicide, eating disorders, substance abuse, to name a few.
What are we afraid to say and why can’t we say it? Women, particularly the most marginalized, are silenced, while powerful abusers can scream as loudly as they want, lie as much as they want and continue to profit through it all.
This is a long awaited reckoning. It must be. It’s sad that“codes of conduct” have to be enforced to ensure we experience fundamental human decency and respect. Inclusion and representation are the answer. We’ve learned that the status quo perpetuates unfair, victimizing behavior to protect and perpetuate itself. Don’t allow this behavior to be normalized. Don’t compare wrongs or criminal acts by their degrees of severity. Don’t allow yourselves to be numb to the voices of victims coming forward. Don’t stop demanding our civil rights. I am grateful to anyone and everyone who speaks out against abuse and trauma they have suffered. You are breaking the silence. You are revolution.

First off...no...you aren't. Revolution would mean you revolt against the norm which you participated in. That's like saying an SS Officer leads a rebellion against Hitler after the war ended.

I can't believe she's making me defend this turd. Here's the deal Page...you don't have to work in this business after that happened. If the sisterhood collectively said enough was enough, and gave up acting the industry would collapse...but the truth? A million others would replace you. Sorry, you aren't that talented to take on the system. This is NOT the same as saying I defend what he said or did...but choosing to continue meant you sacrificed your lady card to keep playing make believe despite the fact that this greasy animal belittled you.

You are free to walk the fuck out and never returned. Many have done it. None have made it to the career you've had. What exactly were you waiting for? It's incredibly cowardly to admit you kept working with the guy and then have your celebrity friends such as Anna Pacquin come out and support when all you "innocent babes" traded your dignity for fame and fortune. So when you tell these slimy slugs that they hope they look at their ill gotten gains and stew...the same could be said for you. 

Louis C.K.

You know it's incredibly phony place when the only guy who blasts himself on a stage turns out to be a true scumbag. He even apologizes as a scumbag. Implying that other comedians "admire" him and he disappointed his fans. Hey fuckface, they're not your fans, they're your colleagues.
And it's so fucked up because...well, he has daughters. Which when you listen to his standup now, it becomes truly disturbing. But again, comedians were never known as good people. In fact, they're mostly miserable animals who hate humanity and life and have to make observations of it, because they are desperate to find their part in it. I sometimes consider myself a comedian.
I had a comedian friend who worked a stage with him years ago. He's expressed what a shit-heel he was. To be honest, when you work in the shadow of Chris Rock, as Louis did, it's hard not to act like comedy royalty.
More are going to come out soon.
More disappointments.

Rough Cut

There's a reason why they call it that.
Just kidding.
Everyone is always super excited about dailies. Well, not so much anymore since dailies are...when you shoot digital you already see it. It's lame.
Film dailies are different. The excitement of seeing work pop! Especially if you've ever seen print film dailies. It's amazing. We have trailers at our company with screens inside. A mobile theater. Still not the same. But it makes studios comfortable they can monitor EVERYTHING you do.
I wouldn't even consider today's movie making making anything. It's a machine.
I got the first cut of the next micro-series episode done. I was, once again, surprised at some of the moments I got, and granted it's really uneven...I think I miscalculated at the script stage as to the degree of ups and downs and where it fits in in the bigger picture. But these are all questions you go through when you make edits. Small imperceptible moves of an actor actually can change dynamic. Conversely, you don't want to take a scalpel to your project or it drains the spontaneity as well. Or you get married to the why.
I would say, this is the worst part of editing. The second guessing and the piecing together of performances to make it feel like one continuous moment. Especially if the words you wrote sound like they came off a page.
Keep making more and more. That's all you can do. Though...my hero Billy Wilder would never delineate from the written word, he at least had the skill and talent and ear to know. And he was ruthless about it.