Dense But Smart

 A LOT of people are dense. But they're also very smart. To what they know in life. But, most haven't really excelled in life simply because a small thing always gets in their way.

An example, I deal with at work, always gets on my nerves. Because there is a simple solution to all this...

So, whenever we have a technical glitch to the problem, I simply ask a person all the steps they've been through to ascertain that something isn't working. You know...CUT OUT ALL THE STEPS I NEED TO GO THROUGH to find out what I already know. Why? Because you already told me.

Let's run through this:

Co-worker: "Dude the main boards are fried."

Me: "Okay, walk me through what you've done so I don't have to do the same thing."

Versus

Me: "Dude, the main boards are fried"

Co-worker: "Okay, I'm going to check this and check that and run this cable and check the power load..."

Hey dummy...all of that was already tried. But dense people do this. They DO NOT stop to think that the person telling these things have already gone through the procedures to get to that point.

I am not suggesting you take the person's word for it, but then get into specifics. For instance, if I told you I already checked the power load, you take a minute to think...okay...one less step to consider. Instead, super dense person goes through the motions, wastes time and gets back to where we began our conversation. It is the most aggravating thing. Because what it really says is, they believe you didn't do something right.

Now, I'm not new to this game. It would make sense if it was a new person. But fuck a duck, I live with these machines/computers for a great deal of time. The belief that you think I lack awareness to know the nuances of this is insulting.

In the production world, this happens a lot. Too many people read books and none put it into practice. I read Michael Caine's acting book, there is NO WAY in Hell I'd ever pass my experience off as any way to conduct my career as an actor (in my blog, I say what I would want an actor to be through the eyes of direction OR put credit where credit would be due). A lot of these young kids are book learned and have zero field experience. And then they get shot in the face.

Don't be fucking dense. Take a moment to digest what is going on before you chime in. Acknowledge the words that are flowing through the mouth of someone who obvious has more experience than you. Be grateful they're even sharing any info.

Are You Deaf Or Are You Retarded?

I've had to say this to a few co-workers...are you deaf or retarded?

Both are forgivable. It stops people in their tracks and they finally fucking listen.

If you can master the art of conversation, you will rule this world.

Here's how it works:

Shut your stupid fucking face.

Listen before you talk.

Acknowledge what you heard and build from it. Or at least, acknowledge the person has a valid point. Especially if it's based on facts or experience. I know, some of you want to stretch your intelligence. Trust me, you're an idiot. LEARN.

Too many of you assholes, specifically people in this industry, are way ahead of themselves. They are already thinking about the next thing to say before digesting what YOU'VE just said. You know what impression that makes? Class?

Anyone?

Bueller?

That you are a moron who can't process information. Or that you believe you are the most cleverest person on the planet. Creative types are like this.

The younger group of folk actually are better at processing information because they need something from you. My age bracket have grossly slipped.

IF you are an actor...Jesus for the love of God, repeat to yourself "I am NOT the most funniest, cleverest person on the planet" There is nothing more off putting than an actor who is constantly "on."

Not a single person above the line I know wants to deal with this type of person for 12 hour days.

If you want people to get along with you on set, seriously...absorb what people are saying to you before you talk.

Censorship Runs One Way

 If you make art, you are silenced by many things. Directly, they are the voices that you hear that make you question whether or not you should.

This is not art.

The new shift is that if they don't like your message they will silence you. Tech media giants such as Twitter or Facebook does such a thing to direct our cultural world. And...it's their world. Which is despicable and ugly.

The change is obvious...they don't support Conservative view point. And Hollywood is to blame.

Yet they are also the first to complain.

You guys wanted it, they will come after you. Duh.

What creators online don't understand is that you can scream all you want that Conservatives are the ones who share White supremacists misogynistic, bigoted viewpoints, but once you silence them...the minute you delineate from their script, you are their next target. Get it yet, idiots?

Free speech is America. Media now spends its power and money to change the way you think. That's disgusting. THINK FOR YOURSELVES.

I dropped the Lefty bullshit when I realized they wanted to control the way information is given to you. They are worse than Nazis. You fucking lousy Democrats, because they are insidious. They pretend to be your friends but, in reality, behind closed doors you are sub-human. Everyone is. Because they hate themselves the most.

The minute you drop your self-loathing, you realize how duped you are by these people who pretend to be about free speech but is ultimately about free speech for THEM.

Comedians are facing this the worse now. Sorry, you dumbfucks, you sided with the Lefties. Suck on their intolerance.

There is a balance. The Righties need to know Jesus isn't on their side either. Nor are morality. The most disgusting people are the ones who wave the bible and behind their closed doors molest their kids.

Media is not your friend. It is a funnel to which they want to control. The minute anyone uses links to news, I instantly brand them "morons." The only thing you can do, is to be your best self.

Rush Limbaugh Died

 Anyone who wants to (supposedly) insult a Conservative, they typically called them a "Rush Limbaugh listener" or any derivations of that.
I've been labeled that a few times, which I find funny, because I find the guy to be a shady scumbag.

To me Rush did have a voice in radio. And had given a lot to support other Conservative voices. He is also, a very deeply hypocritical dude. He had that pill popping thing.

Any how, I remember Rush as a teenager. I found him to be 

Get On My Nerves

 Believe it or not, film people DO get on my nerves.

Specifically when they ask me for advice and I give them the best sensible case scenario, they do the complete opposite and they complain later.

Hey numbnuts...

don't ask me for my advice.

don't bitch and moan when you fuck it up

I understand. I was young and did stupid shit. BUT I never not take the advice of people who knew MORE technical knowledge than me.

I've lost many a connection because I've told people my opinion on things, and they go elsewhere. Perhaps it's the way I tell them. But I give them two things to consider and hopefully that does stick in their craw.

The rest, seriously, go fuck yourselves.

I have a couple of people who hound me for technical support over film stuff. I give them...BASED ON MY DECADES OF WORKING IN FILM, my assessment. Instead, they discount what I say.

These people are morons and will suffer in the long run. NOT because my advice is good or bad, but you don't remotely respect the years that go behind coming to this conclusion. If you're convinced, you're convinced...I guess.

And a lot of people are convinced. I try to save people money. They still don't care. I tell them what is necessary, what isn't. They don't care. And these are the people who DO ask. And supposedly want my input. I understand now why engineers are salty about everything. Dumb people with stupid looking faces ask them stupid questions and then ignore them.

Such as my life as a guru of sorts.

Happy New Year!

 It is the Year of the Ox. And many of you stubborn assholes out there that haven't quit? Kudos. You are now part of the unemployable film industry people the rest of us watch in bemusement.

Speaking of being dumber than most folks...

Remember when Tom Cruise yelled at his crew during the next "Mission Impossible" flick?

It got me thinking...this motherfucker is smarter than ALL of us.

Here's what I was thinking...
Do you think Tom Cruise EVER lets his guard down? Do you think he would allow himself to be caught screaming at crewmembers?

Nope. My guess...this savvy asshole was doing it for the insurance guys. In other words, it was a dog and pony show to illustrate to them that they were taking this SERIOUSLY. In essence, he wasn't lying. He was protecting his crew. Notice how he didn't name names like Christian Bale's meltdown? Also, who in their right mind would record it KNOWING they would never work again. You better believe they would find out who released it.

And just like that...the controversy disappears.

You know, a lot of people hate on Cruise, because he's been so successful for so long and he does weird shit like Scientology, but I wouldn't be surprised if he really planned this all out.

Happy New Year folks!

Tom Brady Wins Super Bowl

 Actually, I think Tampa Bay's defense won the game.

But I didn't watch any of it.

In fact, didn't watch much football this year. Because I'm slowly trying to be MUCH more responsible in terms of making things.

Instead I bought a film camera. This would be my 15th maybe? It was about $10,000. More than I've ever spent on any car. Yeah, let me brag a little.

Any way, I think Brady is the greatest quarterback in history. Think about how long he's been doing this? 20 years. AND he adjusted to the rules of the game. A lot of people thinks he cheats at the game. But cheating only takes you so far. 7 Super Bowl rings whilst my shitty Cincinnati Bengals have none. Go ahead and hate Brady now (I hate him because he played for Michigan). Hot wife (who makes more than him), beautiful children, house. He has...what's that you say? THE AMERICAN DREAM. A guy who plays a kids' game who can buy a small country.

So congratulations. He is not only the greatest QB ever, he is the unicorn when it comes to what all men strive for.

Note From Michael Caine

Actor Michael Caine wrote a book in the late 90's on film acting which is both hilarious and VERY poignant. Every actor who wants to work (even now) would do themselves a favor to read it.

A few tips:

Don't blink when you talk. He believes blinking when you talk makes you a weak character. He isn't wrong. Look at Tommy Lee Jones's career.

Do as little dialogue as possible. This tip is what I've been saying for THE longest time. The actors with the least lines and MOST impact are the ones who have the least dialogue. Amateur actors want more lines. It's aggravating to hear. I constantly have to tell them to talk less. You make a bigger impact. Steve McQueen gave all his lines away. He felt he seemed weak the more he talked. He's not wrong.

Listen and react. Listening and reacting is PURE cinema. Think about how much Marlon Brando talked. He tried NOT to talk. He listened. In fact, Brando hated dialogue so much he had them written on cue cards on set. Okay, look, he probably was a lazy fuck. BUT, his most impactful movies had him saying the least. He reacted. And his reactions were appropriate for the role. Listening to the other actor also means you don't lose your place. You don't forget a line. I know many directors who won't need you to go verbatim with script (though most will because they're control freaks, OR that they need valuable information). So go with the spirit of the scene.

Don't fidget. This drives me nuts. Actors with pent up energy who can't fucking be still. Perhaps they have to get the coke out of their system. But filmmaking is a technical craft as much as artistic. People like Francis Ford Coppola loved their actors to play to the set. Famed cinematographer Gordon Willis HATED it. Willis won that battle. Simply because the setup of lights and marks means you HAVE to be on point. Don't lean or back off (Tom Cruise does this, according to the first assistant cameraman who has to pull focus). Also, play to the size of the lens. Be curious and ask what your frame line is. Then don't fidget. Maybe in today's smart phone streaming you won't see it, but man...does the audience feel it.

Look, I am TOTALLY impressed every time I miss nuance of performance. When an actor did something I didn't even see through the eyepiece. I do cartwheels over it.

Try to do that and you will always work.

Thanks Mr. Caine. Wisdom from a working actor.

The Death Of A Loved One

 We all know life is short. And the older you get the shorter it becomes.

I think when people you care about die, it makes you think of a few things...

have you done enough in your life? Have you wracked up enough experience as we remembered that person?

Why am I not living life to the fullest?

For the most part, we should all be living the second part of this statement much more. Which is...why aren't you living life to its fullest. Regardless of your financial state.

Answer: We forget how short life is.

Which is not to say we don't know how temporarily we are here. Perhaps some people realize how banal their existence is. Even with all those experiences, when you die, that goes with you. If you're spiritual, I'm certain it means a lot more.

Senseless death gets me more. Which when a young person passes away, a lot of times it's not from natural causes. So, they are willing the hands of nature to take them away.

Now, the importance of everything you work towards in life is summed up at the end. Did it matter?

Seems to matter to the people that are left behind.

Dustin Diamond Passed Away At 44

Better known as "Screech" from "Save By The Bell" actor Dustin Diamond passed away from cancer today.

Now, I will NEVER make light of the death of someone, especially if it is my contemporary and also because it was something not of their doing (Heath Ledger and River Phoenix....bleh). But I was shocked to learn of his death. Apparently it happened quickly.

We will all leave a legacy in this world.

A lot of us will not be remembered fondly. Because, Let's face it, we're all opportunist out here.

But look, Dustin brought a TON of joy to a lot of people's lives. Laughter and the ability to look weird, act weird and still have friends. But his personal life outside of television seemed to be saddled with controversy. You can do the research, as I've said, I won't mention here.

It is always weird when someone younger than you dies. It doesn't feel right.

The last school bell rang for Dustin. May he finally have peace.

You Don't Know Shit...Seriously

 A lot of newbies to this town have this notion about what it takes to work in Hollywood. Even though they haven't lived here or worked here. They say things like "Oh yeah, it's a grind in this business, you have to stay on top of your craft."

They haven't worked a day here and they have an opinion.

These people grate on me the most.

Why? Because they're theorist.

I'm trying to remember if I did this when I was in my 20's having graduated from film school. I probably did, which is why a lot of people wanted to backhand me. Film school makes you retarded.

But no one ever listens. The arrogance is everywhere.

But then again, there are no answers how to break in. I don't know the path. BUT you're sole goal, at this point, is not to make stupid assumptions about how the business is. Because you don't fucking know. Pretend you're a child on a field trip to school. Then do this for the rest of your career. Because someone will always put you in your place. Always.

Unless you do what I do, which is fund your own shit. Then no one can fuck with you. And you don't have to give a shit if some Hollywood types wants to sabotage your shit. You move on with the next thing. It's essentially what I am saying to anyone who will ask. DO YOUR OWN SHIT USING YOUR OWN CASH.

The minute you deal with studio, the more you have to try to break down their walls. And their walls don't want you. Because your tastes aren't relevant. It's all who makes the movies to make money.

I was listening to a pod cast with Brett Easton Ellis ("Less Than Zero") and he was interviewing Anne Heche. Remember her? She came out as bi-sexual and scissoring Ellen DeGeneres right before a romantic comedy was set to release. It tanked the movie because no one can believe this lesbo would fawn all over Harrison Ford. Also, great escape for shitty movie maker Ivan Reitman to put a shitty movie on her shoulders. ANY WAY, Anne concluded that her announcement, in her ditzy self important mind, at the time seemed to make sense. She felt like the empowering figure (gag) of women who felt strongly about coming out as you are. The studio wanted her to keep it under wraps. NOT because they cared about which muff she dove into, because they knew that shit would cost them money. They're sort of right. Might've been no one wanted to watch it either. Also that it was a shitty movie. Who knows? Though the lesson here is Hollywood is about and will always be about making money. They could care less about your woke cause. Black people are spending more and more to go to movies. It's a market worth tapping. A LOT of studios are taking Chinese money. Guess who they will pander to?

So, yeah, you can try to juggle all these dumb things that studios require you to do, suck it up and take their deal (IF you even get that far). Or just make your own shit and tell the powers that be to suck your dick. I do. Feels great. I have no aspirations to work for any studio regardless of money they give me. Or if anything ever hits, and they want to give me money to make a movie, I'd contractually want them to leave me alone. You think it's big talk on my part that I would turn down money to make a movie. Truth? If would have to be a deal I couldn't pass up with money up front. Again, money means nothing but more time. To me, I'd want to be able to have my friends work. Who gives a flying fuck about that cuck face Chris Evans or whichever Hemsworth. If they paid me enough, I'd hire someone else to work like that. I don't need notoriety and I just need enough to pay bills.

So young folks...STOP chasing trends and stop thinking you know anything about the business and just focus on your movie. Stop dreaming of a day where someone sees it and plucks you out from obscurity. None of your favorite directors made movies because they thought it would segue into an easier lifestyle. It was that they had a story to tell.

The Midget And Me

 Today when I was at the grocery store I saw a midget. And I am incredibly proud I didn't stare. However, I did follow him around for a little...I mean...for a small...I mean...for a bit.

I am curious how the world caters to him. The cart he had was custom'd to his size. I was also curious as to what food he would eat. Turns out (and luckily so) he went to the aisles I typically go through. Junk food. The guy bought total crap. As I did. I wanted to go up to him and say how much our tastes aligned with one another. But, fucking PC world made me think he would take offense to it.

How do I know he won't throw a midget fit and be like "What? You don't think we eat trash food like YOU?!!!"

Not sure if he would. Or maybe he'd thought I was a fag for midgets. Look, I am short, so I get it. A LOT of homos love me because I'm A) hairless B) short. Most homos think I am gay. Because I speak with bigger words than most dudes.

Anyway, I really wanted to follow him to the parking lot to see how he drove a car. But felt that maybe I was pressing my luck by following him as it were.

To my credit, I didn't stare as he dragged his arm across the chip shelf and had it fall into his little basket cart. I respect this dude MUCH more than the filthy disgusting homeless guy who was covered in a blanket and used one of those electric carts (who seemed to have been following the midget as well). This asshole blanket bum was perfectly healthy, shot me a stinkeye and motored away.
At least the midget was very clean.