Monday, March 16, 2015

Shapeless Jazzercise

I go to this gym up north from where I live. Drive about 17 miles outside of Los Angeles. This is very much on your way to next-to-nowhere. I like this gym because it's motivational. In probably the wrong ways.

I pass this morning group of middle aged women doing some type of dance workout. Zumba? Jazzercise? Who the fuck knows. All I know is that they are shapeless blobs doing somewhat sleazy dance moves. now before you get on my case about judging, they are doing this:
A) in front of a wall length mirror
B) with a wall length glass behind them

In other words, there is no hiding. There's just something really off about a flabby middle aged woman doing these types of moves in public. Clearly an attempt to stay in shape. My thoughts are this...it's not working. So fucking stop it. You look stupid. From front and behind. And you should know people judge you. This is fucking America. Anyway...

There's another gym I go to that is in the deep armpit of the San Fernando Valley. It's also an L.A. Fitness, but a converted one from what looked like it use to be a "whites only club." Or racquetball club. It just looks very 60's. Anyway, there's this really fat woman who goes in the Sunday I'm there. She pedals a stationary bike with her fat folds overlapping the chair, watching the t.v. Just pumping those ham hocks away. I respect her so much. She doesn't go on no damn floor and gyrate like some Alaskan stripper. I think you need a bit of shame to fix what's broken.

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