There are rumors that the writer of James Bond 007 spy books Ian Fleming was a ladies man. He kinda' looks like Geoffrey Rush. I'm surprised they haven't done a biopic with him as the actor.
It seems to me, James Bond is more of a greaseball masher. And the kind I look up to. Smarmy charmer with terrible quips. That is my goal in life. To have a job that lets you jet-set and give women a smack on the tush when they've spoken when not spoken too.
I'm going out on a big limb and say...Roger Moore is my favorite. Yeah, you Connery fucks can suck it. The reason being, Moore is the dandiest of dandies. He doesn't have a physical bone in his body. To watch him to do any stunts is similar to watching your grandfather attempt to skateboard. It's fucking hilarious. But hip at the same time (unless he breaks said hip). Then this old fuck gets to bone HOT women. Not only hot but YOUNG and HOT. And as a kid, it never occurred to me that was wrong. It almost looked right. Now...Moore fucking young women gives us hope. I think with Connery's Bond, he fucked angry women. It made more sense that he'd be older and just "man-handle" them. Women threw themselves at Moore. Even in a movie like "Moonraker" where the love interest is a rocket scientist, Moore breaks down her logic mind with charm.
I like the Roger Moore Bond the best, because he is the silliest. Due to director John Glen's love of sight gags. He didn't care if the jokes were corny. It's not like they were making "Casablanca." He purposely made some of the humor REALLY borderline racist. In "Octopussy" they have a bizarre they drive a cart through that has 1) a sword swallower 2) a rope climber 3) a guy who lies on a bed of nails. As if this was normal behavior in 1985. Whatever, these are the Bonds I think have their own charm. And Moore is the sleaziest of them all. I think because he personally detested violence. His offset was to grab-ass. Maybe in an attempt to lighten up all the "killing" he did (which he did very little...people walk away from car collisions.
You know what else is awesome about Moore's Bond movies? The music. Fuck. Half of them are saying how virile he is. Or how women can't resist him. An all time high. When you look at the others, it's mostly about the plot. Shit, one of Connery's earlier ones isn't even about either. It's just vamping for credits.
Oh, the days when you could just run you hands around a woman, and she'd giggle and you'd have to tell her how much she liked a sweaty drooling muppet mash doing that to her.
No comments:
Post a Comment