Oscar-Vations

If you ever want to see how "high school" Hollywood is, re-watch it when Stacey Dash walks into this crowd.

Oscar so white.

Have you ever met a Black guy named Oscar? It’s an old Jewish name.

They should rename it, OscarssoMexican…because that Innaritu dude is kicking our asses.

God, don’t you wish for the old days of Oscar where the pre-show didn’t take fucking forever.

I have to drive through this fiasco tomorrow morning as I cross the boulevard to get to work.

Did you know Joel Silver fucked Sharon Stone? Can you guess what movie she did it for?

Sly’s wife is smoking hot.

It looks like a high school prom. Real glamour is dead. Even phony glamour is dead.

Whoopi’s chest tattoo is stretch so wide that dragon she got, looks like a road map of Italy.

Charlize Theron is tit-less. What happened? Oh, right, Sean Penn.

Russell Crowe is not an interesting person.

Opens with a retrospect of movies this year. How horrid was this year?

Danish Girl with Tracy Jordan…”This Danish good, girl!”

Sarah Silverman=Carrot Top shoulder workout.

God, will they ever stop with the best song performances? It’s not entertaining. When was the last Bond song that lost? Fuck, I think Madonna even won for that trainwreck “Die Another Day.”

Alicia Vikander. Hard to decide which in this catergorie’s boobs is the best. Rooney & Kate Winslet have nice ones.

Costume designer for “Mad Max” has the yellowest teeth ever. I love it! “Mad Max” is cleaning up in terms of technical stuff. Barf. This must be to stick it to Mel Gibson.

So they can show DiCaprio put a flame to an open wound but…they blur out nipples on “Sliver”? Fuck this world.

Chivo Lubezki wins for the third time for cinematography for “Revenant.” What garbage. Hey assholes, if water hits the lens…in a frontier environment…that means technology is in that world. The illusion is DEAD. “Carol” was an achievement. As was Robert Richardson working in Ultra-Panavision. Re-done glass from the late 60’s. Incidentally, Chivo’s win for “Birdman” was beyond ridiculous. Video camera ridiculous.

The Academy wouldn’t know good sound editing if it sat on its face and farted. Neither would I. It only makes sense that one of the sound mixers that won have massive ears. Biggest I’ve seen. Ever.

“Ex-Machina” beats out “Star Wars” for visual FX? Right.

What’s the “Mad Max” jag. I really don’t get it.

“Inside/Out” won for animated. Zzzzzzzz...great acceptance speech though. If you feel sad, make something. Make art. Great advice.

You fucking assholes who went to see “Fifty Shades of Gray”…ahem..women. Eat shit and die. There’s two more movies for you sad idiots. Thanks.

Chris Rock goes to Compton to ask about “White” movies to which no Black person he interview has heard of them. That’s more telling about Black folk’s sense of diversity. Backfire.

Mark Rylance wins for “Bridge Of Spies”? Huh? I liked the movie. Was his performance that great? Not really. This is odd. Stallone looked pissed.

Louis CK had a great point about documentary short. Middle Eastern woman winner just shits on it all. Nice. You must be full of joy.

Asian kids as accountants with Jewish names? At least they’re trying.

Doug Slocombe, Haskell Wexler and Vilmos Zigsmond, cinematographers honored in Memoriam. I was lucky to meet Vilmos. Director Richard Glatzer gave me my first job out of film school.

The fuck is Biden doing at the Oscars? Oh to talk about on-campus rape? Jesus you cock knocking shitbag Mr. Obvious, it’s called college. Fuck these people.

 “Son Of Saul” wins for foreign film. No big surprise. It’s about the holocaust. Just think if it were about the nuclear holocaust...Mad Max.

Lady Gaga singing about…I’ve no idea. This generation’s Babs Streisand. Oh good god…standing ovation and tears for her song? This is like one of those church tents. Christ, does Hollywood really love themselves.

Ennio Morricone won best score. Lifetime Achievement award. Nominated 6 times. Finally won. All good.

Ali G and Olivia Wilde. Her side and front boob trumps his bit.

The audience of rich actors clapping for political statements…about how shitty they are. Do the assholes in there know THEY are the problem? That’s how stupid they are.

Alejandro blow hard speech about diversity, when he’s raking in awards for his subpar movies…as a Mexican. Nice.

I really want “Mad Max” to win Best Picture so these asswipes in tuxedoes would walk out with their mouths open.

Charlize's evil stare...wearing $3.5 million of diamonds. THIS...this people is why I hate these people.

Anyway, will you be in my movie?