Friday, February 9, 2018

Winter Hoe-lympics

Does any really care anymore? It happens around when people are working and you don't really need to know the outcome when you can just check your event online. And we don't really hate any country anymore. So...what's the big deal?
It use to be simple events. Bobsled, skiing and ice skating. Now you have dumb fucking "sports" like curling. So you don't make Canadians feel bad their drunk hobby isn't marginalized.
And media is pushing SO hard for Olympic heroes. Let's be honest, we just want to see the "agony of defeat" guy. You remember him? The dude whose skiis got caught on the jump and he tumbled like some broken NASCAR collision? It was boss. And we were all with it. Now?...I have no idea what we're actually watching. Figure skating is like graceful, but if one person picks a better song than someone else...I'm not sure I completely sure how the score is tabulated.
Okay, so I'm the ignorant one. The best thing is actually speed skating. You know, like REAL racing. Like running, it's thrilling to see the laps happen. And I think that's missing in subjective things. Like slalom is...like speed and not crashing into poles.
Bobsled, you can get wrecks. The luge is badass because the dude could shoot off the tunnel and into a crowd.
So, I don't know. We're collectively as a world stopping our bickering and going for gold. And that unifies us as people.

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