So, in my downtime I took to learning golf.
I'll be the first to admit, I'm really bad at picking up new things. Slow really. When I first learned surfing, the instructor would scream at me that I was doing things wrong, until I caught the best wave of the day. Something tells me he became a surf instructor to hit on hot chicks. I would. It was horrible to go into panic mode in the water and then...when I caught a wave, it was like floating in air. A most amazing feeling.
I even grew up walking distance to the Kenwood Country Club in Cincinnati. Rich White dudes would play there. Well, rich anyone...but mostly it was rich White dudes. My high school best friend's Dad belonged to the club, and in the 1990's it was $25,000 to join. Can't imagine what it must be now. That reminds me...I don't recall if it's still there. I think they may have built a housing development there. On the back end of the course, was a VERY steep hill we'd go sledding. Country clubs is somewhat of an outdated term because to a LOT of people it meant "no Jews." Because to Anglo-Saxons, they blame them for killing Jesus.
I've always wondered about golf. How it would be such a dull activity. I went with my friend one time to caddy, the old rich White guy we caddied for was a old shitty shit. I probably could've smoked him in the game without even having picked up a club yet. Stingy jerk. Which is why old, rich and White always leaves me with a sickening feeling. They are the ones people associate with Republicans. In the old days anyway. Most of the new Republicans smile like Marie Osmond on meth. I prefer the new Black Conservatives. These people are fun shit talkers.
I digress.
Well, in L.A. I discovered there are public courses. My former co-worker invited me to play which I reluctantly accepted. Since I was bored and it was something to do.
We started at the driving range. So truth be told, I recall having a P.E. class where the teacher taught us how to hold and club and all that. I thought it was for rich Whitey, so I ignored her, for the most part. Apparently we had a golf team. Old money children went to our high school. I learned the basics and vowed to shit on this game for life.
Well, I still shit on golf, but I must say I actually took to it pretty well. Mostly because I don't take it seriously. Having NEVER played a course in my life we played a simple 9 hole course and was about 1 to 2 strokes over par (on average). Not bad for someone who has never played.
When you're out on the course, you tend to have time to look around as the other person is hitting or whatever they call it (stroking...sounds bad). Now I've always wondered about this game. Does everyone just come out knowing how to play. To my surprise, the answer is "no." They are bad. I mean, starting bad. And they are also in the mid-50's to 70's. The course near my place has old people playing. Most of them are just picking it up like me, but I recall a golf pro walking an elderly lady through the motion of her swing. I am still shocked. I believed everyone who would go to the course would not embarrass themselves, like I was prepared to do, and suck. In fact, aside from the shants I constantly wear, I had the most consistent swing. It was a "Happy Gilmore" moment, I suppose. But I had no idea people were just...bad at this game.
There is a sense of joy that comes with something that comes fairly easy. Not like your Mom.
Just kidding.
No, that I picked something up faster than I expected. More baffled that people really suck at this game.
But I still stand by my incendiary statement. Regardless of how much the players make, or the billions in revenue from the same equipment (how many fucking clubs can a person own) or whatever, this is the lamest concept to deal with: put a small ball in a small hole with sticks. Funny, right?
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