I spent my entire life integrating into a system that was never meant for me. Regardless of how "progressive" America has become, there is always an underlining sense that we won't belong.
Because America is White, has been White, will always be White. The people of color, as myself, will always have this thought lingering in our heads.
I say this, because, so many White folk have this thought about how far we've gotten away from slavery or discrimination and celebrate that. You can't celebrate something that was never something for you to take away in the first place. The thought is great, but White America has always and will be exclusionary. Because it is a club not really spoken about out loud. The subtle things or "privileges" that come with it.
Yes, I know I spoke in the past about Whites NOT having privilege (which is why I put in in quotations) because they don't even acknowledge this part of it. Which is, White America will always have hope.
See, I am a representative of my race. Regardless of what you say. An "Asian" guy comes in to apply for a job. Or "we need more Asians to meet our quota" and so forth. A White American has many options. So many options they don't even know where to begin. The only barrier to their success, is having motivation and ambition. The rest is options.
I notice all my White American friends walk around like everything is hunky dory. You know why that is? Because there are options. I have options a Black American doesn't have. I was blinded by this "privilege." Because we will always judge. You have to. It's self preservation.
My landlord does things like make people prove they have three times the rent. Know who that excludes? Many people of color. It trickles down. Pay high rent, can't get a job, go broke, go homeless, become a statistic.
People of color always have a chip on their shoulder. Because they know they are a representative of their race to White Americans.
But it is a testament to America that they are attempting to right a ship. Though I wish they wouldn't do it for political reasons.
No person of color with dignity wants a handout. Though, funny how White Americans are perfectly fine with it. Because they aren't judged by a system that was created to stigmatize this. White corporate America for example. Look at the richest Whitest guys in America. Bills Gates, Jeff Bezos, and on and on.
And we're suppose to believe in fair.
At first I thought it was a class system, until I realize a destitute White American has much more hope than a person of color who is destitute. As Chris Rock said about the White waiter who wouldn't trade places with him...and he's rich.
But that's not to blame or be angry at White Americans. They have no idea it's ingrained in them. Regardless of how successful I am, White Americans have and will see me as still a lower class citizen. There is not enough woke to hide this fact. But it's nice of them to try.
And I'm happy to find my own tribe.
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