Landed

I was shoulder to shoulder next to the flight attendant sitting in her jumpseat. Looking down I saw her right leg was bobbing up and down and her foot was tapping (a nervous tic?). I wanted to tell her what I observed...that when we were taking off from Denver her left leg was tapping. When we were landing, it was her right. I wonder if that meant anything. I didn't say anything. Would've been way too weird.

I'm in my sister's room typing this. Nothing's changed. If I were to re-do this room, I get rid of every piece of furniture and attempt to get two things that match. It's a wild combo of the different years (now decades) they've lived here. Everything appears re-purposed. Not hoarding, but certainly a lot of things that are outdated.

I recall when we first moved into this house in 1982. It's great, to explore the space of previous tenants. The place was built in the 1950's and seemed to have gone through small changes in the 70's. Then...nothing. The basement remains unfinished, as it was a pet project for my Dad when he was a younger guy. I remember it would flood when it rained. It has the musty odor of a basement. Looking back, it could've been re-tooled for a serious bachelor pad, had I never left Cincinnati. I've come to terms that they will never upgrade this place. I'm not sure why, other than they would rather spend the twilight of their lives in low-key dwellings. I know my Mom's best friend have upgraded their home numerous times. It's modernized. Somehow I feel like a failure, not being able to monetarily force my parents into a new standard of living. I dunno, even when I pushed buying them new cabinetry, my Mom's always balked. They never live beyond their means. In fact, the stainless steel refrigerator/stove set we got them a few Xmases ago, are covered in grease and crud. And have taken a beating. Cooking with grease is really awful to appliances.

The sense of this place is a bit haunted. I have stray memories of my high school life here. As before, I use to feel a bit melancholy, I suppose because it was during winter time I'd visit. It's now autumn, and the sense is different. I don't feel that autumn in Ohio feel I use to. However, I did arrive at night and see nothing. The neighborhood hasn't changed. Still the cul-de-sac. The drive past the city doesn't hold the same draw as it use to. I'm not sure why. I'm more sad I feel not a connection with a town I spent so much time in and grew up. I think due to the celebration that comes with holidays. I guess. The cold, the good will towards men. IF removed, it's another day in the Midwest.

I should with hold a lot of my opinions though. For instance, revealing that my Mom's restaurant (where she essentially volunteers) gets terrible Yelp reviews. She seemed genuinely hurt by the one star complaints. But she seemed smart enough to know that some people are jerks just to be jerks. And that there are great reviews and terrible ones. Everyone has an opinion. It's funny how she drew that comparison even though I've never related to her about movie reviews. It's the same thing. If you take the good reviews you also have to accept the bad ones.