Teenage Crushes pt. 2: Blondes

This could’ve been a massive list since most of the 80’s relied on blondes. And their ditziness. I actually had the hots for obscure blondes.

Lydia Cornell, a buxom cutie in “Two Close For Comfort.” She played the younger sister to Deborah Van Valkenburgh (most notable as the tough girl in "The Warriors") and the daughter of Ted Knight. She had that willowy poor man’s Farrah Fawcett look. Big eyes. Big tits. And it helped they found reasons to put her in dolphin shorts and tight t-shirts. I haven’t seen her anything after that show. She does reunion conventions. She is still pretty. In a mom way. One thing that is rough is listening to women now, when you heard them as girls back then. A deep woman’s voice, is comforting, but nothing like the boner maker of a giggly girl. She looks like someone's hot mom now.

Jenilee Harrison. Was the replacement of Suzanne Somers. Jenilee played the cousin (Cindy) of Suzanne’s Crissy. Which by the way, did you know Crissy’s full name is “Christmas Noelle Snow.” That’s fucked. Anyway, I had the mad boner for Jenilee. I think because she had a cheerleaders body. And she was a klutz. Something about girls and how little they realize their bodies and being so gawky and awkward is endearing. It’s actually contrary to Jenilee, who was very flexible and a real-life San Diego Chargers cheerleader. What is even more odd, in the show she was painted as not as sexy as Crissy. In fact, Larry wouldn’t even fuck her. I guess that’s the realm of a sitcom. I recall trying to find any facts on her when I was a teen. Nothing. Came from obscurity. Then disappeared just as fast. I’m sure the internet would’ve been helpful back then. In those days, you had to really dig. And most people would respond by “Who the fuck is Jenilee Harrison?” Not sure why they dropped her for Priscilla Barnes. I think the clumsy blonde was going out of style.

Dana Plato. The girl in “Dif’rent Strokes” Her story is legendary, but as far as my crush went, I think it was because she was the rich girl who had no preconceived notions about two black kids her father adopted. She was just with it. Also, she was a teenager. Could’ve been a girl who was game for things (only to find out later what a massive slide her life too). It did break my heart to hear she was posing for Playboy. Seemed like, as long as I imagined her naked, it was good enough. I never did see those photos. Couldn’t bring myself to. After she passed away, it’s still rough to remember it. Isn’t it strange…the three kids all died before the age of 50.

Heather Thomas. As Jody on the "Fall Guy," everyone had her poster. It nearly trumped Farrah Fawcett's. In string bikini ready for action. She could roll with the guys, but also do it in tight jeans. Man, she's hot. She's a really pretty woman now. Serious looking. She had those blue-grey eyes that could look through you. As a kid, if a show about stuntmen bounty hunters was trumped by this doll, I think that says a lot. Also, Markie Post was their bounty hunter agent. Another sexy woman. God, don't you miss the 80's?!