F@%K You, Alex Keaton

My family didn't have much money growing up. We never had cable t.v. And it sucked since most all teens in my rich WASP school would be blabbing about what they saw on MTV. I'd join along not knowing what the fuck they were talking about.

"Oh yeah, Madonna is great. Yeah...um...really stuck it to the Catholic church, right, eh?...eh?" Only Madonna I knew at the time.

So we didn't have much access to movies unless they were edited. Which meant all the violence and sex was taken out of movies. Ya' know, things that make movies great. We suffered through three channels. And later on UHF channels came in. Then Fox TV on channel 19 was a game changer. Anyway....

My frequent trips to the video store were supported by my Mom who had no issue of me renting 'R' rated movies. I'd get a boner on my bike, thinking of all the nudity, adult content, violence and cursing I'd see. There was one place near my folks' restaurant that was really cool. The place was a dump in a dying strip mall. But it was my secret treasure trove of movies. First time I rented "Aliens" there. With the FOX/CBS. Remember this shit:

 Anyway, I was a huge "Back To The Future" fan...and lo and behold, having grown up watching "Family Ties" a wholesome family t.v. show. It was also the first time I'd heard Michael J. Fox say the S-word. It blew my fucking mind. A t.v. wholesome actor saying "Shit!" I had to stop the VCR for a minute and compose myself. That wasn't the Alex P. Keaton I knew. Buttoned up Republican. It was eye-opening...like running into your teacher at the mall, and they aren't in a suit. Or when Magnum P.I. shaved off his mustache. Too weird for a young mind to comprehend. Then I had to really dig deep. Mork swearing a blue streak in "Good Morning Vietnam" blew my mind too. This was a dude who was in a skin tight onesie saying F-this and F-that and go F-yourself. Amazing.

It bums me out we no longer have this...innocence? This discovery of something so simple was usually met by an adult with "What the fuck are you talking about?" Nowadays, a kid can't even go to someone and tell them their discovery. Since most adults don't give a fuck, and the kid knows this. You probably shouldn't be talking to kids as an adult anyway. Especially if you're a stranger.