You know where horror movies fail? The ending. People all of
a sudden become absolutely stupid. It seems to be okay, since fear is the
explanation to a lot of this. If you’re scared, you never think straight. I was
watching “Scream 4” and it sets up the “Scream” world again only to run out of
gas.
I HATED the original “Scream.” It seemed like a hipsters
handbook to horror films. They used an old, I mean “Psycho” old device of
killing off a famous person near the beginning of the movie. Then it opens it
up for anything to happen. It was stupid then. I think it’s stupid now. Wes
Craven seems to have a golden parachute when it comes to these movies, because
of “Nightmare on Elm Street.” Like he’s infallible to criticism because of a
lousy genre movie he created. I think even he would agree “Nightmare…” is a
limited concept and got sillier because it was suppose to be just a one-off
film. I recall watching “Nightmare…” as a kid. I had to sneak over to a
friend’s house who had a VHS copy. It seemed dark and smoky. But what you
didn’t see was what made it creepy. Freddy Kreuger’s history was a bit hazy,
mostly because I just wanted to see people getting killed. And tits. I think if
a kid saw it today, it’d be slow and plodding. Anyway, what absolutely pissed
me off about “Scream 4” is that there isn’t a strong enough reason as to why
the killer was killing. Let me rephrase, the reason was stupid. It may’ve made
more sense if we’d seen this character earlier in the franchise. And may’ve
been cool to extend it through 2 & 3 but this came out of nowhere. But
whatever, it was placing Dewey as the sheriff that really made ZERO sense. The
guy is a clown. And it’s frustrating to watch David Arquette stumble around the
movie with a small glimpse of hope he would get something right. Solving a
crime by accident PISSES PEOPLE OFF! Because this is the deus ex machina. The
counterpoint would be that Dewey is a dummy and he wouldn’t change that much.
Why not? Give him that small window to figure it out, then be a real hero.
Instead, it becomes this muddle garbage mess.
Here’s how I would’ve ended “Scream 4” had I not been as
close to the material as Kevin Williamson (original writer) & Wes Craven.
This is a version that still allows Sidney to be the hero (which I realize they
just wanted to preserve that through line):
Dewey catches on that Jill talked about an injury she had
from being stabbed by the killer and that she shared the same one like Gale’s,
something she couldn’t have known. Dewey relates that Sidney is in ICU, to
Jill’s disbelief, still alive.
Jill, having heard this, sneaks into Sidney’s room to finish
the job. To which Dewey had been laying in wait. An ambush. Dewey, still being
a bumbling simpleton, questions her, but Jill gets close enough to a nearby
bedpan to snatch it and smack him in the face with it. He drops the pistol
which skitters across the floor. Jill speeds to the gun…reaches down…
But then Sidney, who is injured, turns up a defibrillator
and shocks the shit outta’ Jill. She goes down. That’s when Gale (Courtney Cox)
and Deputy Judy (Marley Shelton) enter. They have that dumb line about the
murderer always coming back from behind…to which Sidney draws Dewey’s pistol
and shoots Jill dead. She can still use that line “Nothing beats the original.”
Still corny but doesn’t make Dewey an epic ‘tard.
They had a solid structure of the first movie going, and
then died on the vine. I’m not saying my version is perfect, but I’d rather it
give some logic to the behavior of goof balls. That every once in a while they
find a nugget.
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