Teenage Crushes Pt. 3: The Brunettes

Mackenzie Philips. “One Day At A Time” played on a loop. Back to back episodes due to syndication. So, I got a hard one for Mackenzie Philips. I’m really not sure why. The money on that one was on Valerie Bertinelli. But maybe…just maybe, at my age, I knew she was wrecked. Only to find out decades later, she’d been in an incestual relationship with her dad (allegedly, I guess). I doubt this was to further her career. Maybe sell a book or two. Maybe it was the skinny weirdos with long gazelle legs that got me. Yeah, I had a thing for her. And I still don’t know why.

Victoria Principal. This chick looks like a massive bitch. Cold in her eyes. Steely in her dealings with that Ewing family that drove her father’s early death. But she still married one, so she was sleeping the enemy. How hot was that? Generally speaking though, I just kept waiting for her to get in a bikini on the South Fork Ranch. What a body. She never had kids, so she kept her figure and her face. She is stunning as an old lady. I would say Linda Grey, but she was abused a lot, and it seemed always dead eyed. I think that came from being married to J.R. Although she had won the Miss Texas pageants, it always seemed Victoria was the prettier one.

Phoebe Cates. With a name like that, you better be hot. Phoebe was one of those girls that really didn’t realize her impact on adolescent boys like myself. That nude scene in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” is still legendary, even after all the free porn you can get. She was also a sweet monster killer in “Gremlins.” Her speech about why she doesn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore is also immortalized in how it stops a movie dead. But who cares, you just watch her lips move at that point. HOT! I didn’t even realized later she is half-Chinese. Exotic is hot.

Julie Warner. Who? Who you say? Ever watch “Doc Hollywood”? I have. Many times. Too many times, most would say. But Julie Warner coming out of that lake, boobs and ass-cheeks out, is a wankable offense. And the fact that she doesn’t cover herself when she walks by Michael J. Fox, is a testament to her skill at being comfortable nude. I’m comfortable with her nude. It makes me happy. Years later, she gives Chris Farley heart palpitations (which is near impossible with the narcotics he’s ingested) in “Tommy Boy.” She’s cute and sweet and makes me happy.

Carla Gugino. I am shocked she’s never mentioned in the boob-tacular set. Her assets grew much faster than her “Troop Beverly Hills”...um...troop. I’d be hard pressed to even say, developed past Shelly Long, a full grown adult. Her cans are a work of art. Especially since she isn’t that tall. The fact that she likes to share them, didn’t hurt. I feel this is a bit loaded to put her into this list, since she’s still stunning. And she’s only 4 years older than me. I think crushes like these stick in your psyche for a long time. Another one that didn’t destroy her body to having children. She definitely has a woman’s body.

Janine Turner. Was a major crush for me. Something about dark hair and light eyes are still in boner fashion today. You can throw in Stepfani Kramer in that pack too. Wow. Both stunners. Janine made even moreso because on “Northern Exposure” she was self-effacing and suffered loneliness. Nothing like being the mountain man to her damsel in distress that makes a teen wang happy. Also, she was in “Cliffhanger.” Ya’ know, her short cropped pixie hair was also pretty hot. Not like she ever resembled a dude. And that’s hard to pull off. I think the fact that she could roll with the guys gave her cred with me as a teen. She could be my friend, and we could bang.

F@%K You, Alex Keaton

My family didn't have much money growing up. We never had cable t.v. And it sucked since most all teens in my rich WASP school would be blabbing about what they saw on MTV. I'd join along not knowing what the fuck they were talking about.

"Oh yeah, Madonna is great. Yeah...um...really stuck it to the Catholic church, right, eh?...eh?" Only Madonna I knew at the time.

So we didn't have much access to movies unless they were edited. Which meant all the violence and sex was taken out of movies. Ya' know, things that make movies great. We suffered through three channels. And later on UHF channels came in. Then Fox TV on channel 19 was a game changer. Anyway....

My frequent trips to the video store were supported by my Mom who had no issue of me renting 'R' rated movies. I'd get a boner on my bike, thinking of all the nudity, adult content, violence and cursing I'd see. There was one place near my folks' restaurant that was really cool. The place was a dump in a dying strip mall. But it was my secret treasure trove of movies. First time I rented "Aliens" there. With the FOX/CBS. Remember this shit:

 Anyway, I was a huge "Back To The Future" fan...and lo and behold, having grown up watching "Family Ties" a wholesome family t.v. show. It was also the first time I'd heard Michael J. Fox say the S-word. It blew my fucking mind. A t.v. wholesome actor saying "Shit!" I had to stop the VCR for a minute and compose myself. That wasn't the Alex P. Keaton I knew. Buttoned up Republican. It was eye-opening...like running into your teacher at the mall, and they aren't in a suit. Or when Magnum P.I. shaved off his mustache. Too weird for a young mind to comprehend. Then I had to really dig deep. Mork swearing a blue streak in "Good Morning Vietnam" blew my mind too. This was a dude who was in a skin tight onesie saying F-this and F-that and go F-yourself. Amazing.

It bums me out we no longer have this...innocence? This discovery of something so simple was usually met by an adult with "What the fuck are you talking about?" Nowadays, a kid can't even go to someone and tell them their discovery. Since most adults don't give a fuck, and the kid knows this. You probably shouldn't be talking to kids as an adult anyway. Especially if you're a stranger.

EBAY Hustle

As a seller of goods now, it occurred to me that most people share the same psychology behind the system. If you’ve never bought or sold on EBay, the online store allows you to put an item on your “watch list” this shoots an indicator to the seller that they have a person watching it. Just to push interest. More than likely, as a buyer, keep an eye on the item. Well, the real issues is that most of the buyers, what they do is they put something on a watch list that seems overpriced, in hopes that when it’s relisted, the price will go down. I’ve had it happen to me, and I’ve done it myself. I’m not sure there is a formal term for that, but it does make things shittier for the seller. It gives them a sense of false hope.

I recently put up a camera for sale. I priced it extraordinarily high, for two reasons 1) it is a REALLY rare camera. I’ve seen one, in person, in my years of shooting with motion picture film cameras. This is the unicorn of cameras. I acquired actually by accident. That’s another story 2) I don’t really care if it sells or not. I’ve always got a home for wayward cameras. The issue being, if this camera sells, it will be a person who truly feels its value.

So, there is a watcher on this item now. I sense he does what I usually do. Which is park on it, hoping the price drops or you break down and offer a “buy it now” price. Hard cheese for that person. But it does make you wonder how serious this person is. Maybe since it’s so far out from the auction end. Who knows. I’m pretty sure some people understand this psyche. There have been times where I parked an item in my watch list, hoping the same thing would happen. That they’d drop the price or offer a flat rate for it (instead of auction). That asshole raised the starting price past the original number. Therein by telling all us on his watch list to fuck off. Without telling us to fuck off. In their frustration, they raise the price to stick it to us…lurkers. Why do this? Angry, alone and pussy-less. Habits really do paint a picture.

I’m not that way. If something doesn’t sell, I just leave it at that price for start auction when it relists. People who do the latter, are just plain dickheads to be dickheads.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (1973)

I would say the Texas chainsaw massacre franchise is the worst. Since, it's one big dead end. The original was a complete story without the need to extend any follow up. Did we really have unanswered questions? Watching a franchise as a money grab just sucks the life out of the original. And each sequel just feels like another nail in the coffin.

And yes, this contest includes “Halloween” and its follow ups (Rob Zombie's efforts almost tipped it to "Halloween"'s favor, god his movies are awful). Even the abortion of III “Season Of The Witch” had something interesting than this weird (often confusing timeline) of TCM. In terms of "...Chainsaw..." movies...Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes retread really buried it into his own slaughterhouse goo.

I re-watched the original again. What made this movie self-contained is that it is about isolation. Ever subsequent movie introduced so many other characters from the “outside world.” And they keep expanding “the family.”

The original 1973 movie wasn’t that great. But it still had this…atmosphere. Hard to describe, except that it pinpointed that era, where people picked up hitchhikers. Bad things happen in remote places. There’s no cell phones or internet to save you. It felt like kids making a movie. But it had the visualize acuity of adults. Suffering for art to the extreme. Not really understanding what was real and what was faked. In fact, when you listen to the commentary with director Tobe Hooper, Leatherface Gunnar Hansen, and director of photography Daniel Pearl, it's hard to imagine any of those stories of sadistic behavior to be true. They sound like funny, sane, nice people (magic of cinema, I guess).

It hit at the right time, mostly the same reason most of these movies hit. The audience had nothing else to watch. Certainly not a chainsaw family of cannibals. Has Tobe Hooper done anything since? “Poltergeist”? According to lore, Spielberg directed that. “Salem’s Lot”…not necessarily on the tip of anyone’s tongue. I think he just wasn’t given his due. If he tortured himself to bring “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” to the screen, I would think studios would trust him. But as he’s said in the book “everyone has ideas and think they’re better than yours.” I would trust him implicitly.

I often wonder where the balance is. How much do you trust the people who think something’s working. Or have proven themselves enough to trust them. It’s weird, as much as the original made, they still didn’t give him the credit. Then didn’t even pay him for the terrible subsequent movies.

You know what else that bugs me about the subsequent “Chainsaw” movies? The original wanted to be a “PG” movie. Tobe Hooper specifically called the MPAA to ensure this to futility. In doing so, he made a movie that resonates so much more than this gore porn that is just overkill.

"Poolside" festival review

I didn't get into a short film festival.

Ah..part of being a filmmaker is enduring a lot of criticism. Or just not seeing who the people watch this movie are. This coming from three different reviewers. So collectively, my short film didn't impress them in "that way." The demographic of the three reviewers (which is cool that they post this). (1) 47 year old homemaker (2) 37 year old researcher (3) 40 year old systems engineer/screenwriter
Not necessarily doing this for a living. However, THEIR reviews are valid. If not more so, since this is the demographic of the paying audience I have to impress:

Briefly describe the story (include protagonist → conflict → resolution.)
A obsessed man ponders his unrequited love and takes a morbid? imagined? step to be with her forever. I am unclear what the resolution is...did he really kill her?

What is the main reason you did or did not recommend this submission?
The blurring between imagination/memory and reality makes the resolution a complete mystery, in a way that leaves the viewer confused, not stimulated (as good cliffhangers do).

Comment on exemplary elements in the submission.
The film uses voiceover and close-ups effectively to create a great sense intimacy with the protagonist. Beautiful, bright cinematography that's visually engaging. Good use of visual effects and music (in the first half) to separate his imagination from reality for viewers.

Comment on problem elements in the submission.
The melancholy, reflective narration of the central character seemed labored/forced at times. Inadequate development of resolution clarifying reality from imagination didn't leave a positive impression. Also, a lot of time dedicated to set-up and credits, for a relatively short film.


Why is this submission not appropriate for DC Shorts’ audience? What other audience(s) might the film appeal to?
I think this film will leave our audiences baffled or irritated.

To be fair, I usually gut other movies this way, on my IMDB reviews. And it's actually a great review. It is vague. And I like that. Just didn't fit this festival. It's not easy being cheesy. Cool stuff and MOVING ON! Must do better.

Pashtunwali: Religion Over Common Sense

Pashtunwali...according to wikipedia:
non-written ethical code and traditional lifestyle which the indigenious Pashtun people follow. It is a system of law and governance that began during the prehistoric times and is preserved and still in use today, but mostly in the rural tribal areas.

There is a story of an Afghan soldier who had killed the son of this family from a village. The soldier, having been wounded in the melee, asked the family to take care of him. Under Pashtunwali beliefs, you cannot turn down a request to assist someone in need. Guests are treated with MORE respect than family members. Keep in mind, this is a soldier that murdered their son.
Days turn to months. Months turned to years. Then a decade past. All the while the family housed and supported this soldier.

One day, the soldier decided he would like to return to his own family. They said their goodbyes. Then he took a step out of the front door, and he was instantly killed by the family members.

Ten years, living with that resentment of having to deal with the man who killed their son, all under the same roof. And one thing that kept civility between them was a "non-written ethical code and traditional lifestyle..." These aren't people you negotiate with. Nor reason with. Nor attempted to alter in any way. This is deep tribal Afghan shit we will never understand.

These are the people the Taliban are made of.

Teenage Crushes pt. 2: Blondes

This could’ve been a massive list since most of the 80’s relied on blondes. And their ditziness. I actually had the hots for obscure blondes.

Lydia Cornell, a buxom cutie in “Two Close For Comfort.” She played the younger sister to Deborah Van Valkenburgh (most notable as the tough girl in "The Warriors") and the daughter of Ted Knight. She had that willowy poor man’s Farrah Fawcett look. Big eyes. Big tits. And it helped they found reasons to put her in dolphin shorts and tight t-shirts. I haven’t seen her anything after that show. She does reunion conventions. She is still pretty. In a mom way. One thing that is rough is listening to women now, when you heard them as girls back then. A deep woman’s voice, is comforting, but nothing like the boner maker of a giggly girl. She looks like someone's hot mom now.

Jenilee Harrison. Was the replacement of Suzanne Somers. Jenilee played the cousin (Cindy) of Suzanne’s Crissy. Which by the way, did you know Crissy’s full name is “Christmas Noelle Snow.” That’s fucked. Anyway, I had the mad boner for Jenilee. I think because she had a cheerleaders body. And she was a klutz. Something about girls and how little they realize their bodies and being so gawky and awkward is endearing. It’s actually contrary to Jenilee, who was very flexible and a real-life San Diego Chargers cheerleader. What is even more odd, in the show she was painted as not as sexy as Crissy. In fact, Larry wouldn’t even fuck her. I guess that’s the realm of a sitcom. I recall trying to find any facts on her when I was a teen. Nothing. Came from obscurity. Then disappeared just as fast. I’m sure the internet would’ve been helpful back then. In those days, you had to really dig. And most people would respond by “Who the fuck is Jenilee Harrison?” Not sure why they dropped her for Priscilla Barnes. I think the clumsy blonde was going out of style.

Dana Plato. The girl in “Dif’rent Strokes” Her story is legendary, but as far as my crush went, I think it was because she was the rich girl who had no preconceived notions about two black kids her father adopted. She was just with it. Also, she was a teenager. Could’ve been a girl who was game for things (only to find out later what a massive slide her life too). It did break my heart to hear she was posing for Playboy. Seemed like, as long as I imagined her naked, it was good enough. I never did see those photos. Couldn’t bring myself to. After she passed away, it’s still rough to remember it. Isn’t it strange…the three kids all died before the age of 50.

Heather Thomas. As Jody on the "Fall Guy," everyone had her poster. It nearly trumped Farrah Fawcett's. In string bikini ready for action. She could roll with the guys, but also do it in tight jeans. Man, she's hot. She's a really pretty woman now. Serious looking. She had those blue-grey eyes that could look through you. As a kid, if a show about stuntmen bounty hunters was trumped by this doll, I think that says a lot. Also, Markie Post was their bounty hunter agent. Another sexy woman. God, don't you miss the 80's?!

Director I Admire, 'Aint That Different From The Rest Of Us

I’m listening to Ridley Scott’s director’s commentary on “Alien” this was a movie made in 1979. It was a hit. Though, while listening to the commentary, he went through some insane crap to get it made. I get it. It was his second movie after “The Duellist.” The stories of this shoot are legendary within the sci-fi industry. Constant bickering about this, that and the other. It was a struggle to make this movie. And it was basically a man versus a studio type atmosphere. Not in the least helped by the fact that it is also a science-fiction movie. Spaceships, and…well, aliens.

Fast forward 4 years later. I watched the making of “Blade Runner.” Despite a solid script by Hampton Fancher, they’d brought in another writer to futz around with small things director Ridley Scott wanted to change. The production looked like the living hell which also shows in the movie itself. I mean, it was grueling with casts hating on each other. The elements. Producers screaming at Ridley being too slow. And Ridley punishing them by going slower. They finished that movie by the skin of the their teeth. Literally they were going to strike the set, while production was racing to get the last shot done. No easy scene either. It was Rutger Hauer’s dying/powering down replicant scene with the dove and all that. The fact that you see the dawn peak, that was the sun coming up over Warner studios in Burbank.

On “Gladiator” I’ve sources that had told me that Ridley was always tinkering with ideas. He could never settle for what needed to be shot a certain day. Waffling ideas. And sometimes, randomly focused on THE most insignificant detail about nothing. His script suggestions would be considered to some, practically sabotage. And some even believe it’s a miracle it was finished. It won Best Picture…which to this day, I’m confused. That movie wasn’t that good.

I guess my point is, even a great director like Ridley is always at odds with himself. I think he’s gained a lot more confidence in his decisions when he goes down a familiar road. Otherwise, I believe all those earlier sacrifices of mental health afforded him the leeway to openly say dumb stuff. Or make a movie the way he wants to make it. I am comforted by knowing that there is fear within the best. Even by his track record and his talent, tossing yourself into the unknown is frightening. Sidney Lumet’s book “Making Movies” says it all. No matter how may pictures you have under your belt, you always believe you are a breath away from a disaster. Sometimes the hammer does fall. Imagine what Martin Brest is doing. Having had two back to back colossal blunders doesn’t do well for confidence. “Gigli” destroyed him from the inside, “Meet Joe Black” finished him off (or vice versa). This from the man who made two of my favorite movies “Beverly Hills Cop” & “Midnight Run.”

I think we’re all one conversation away from someone thinking we’re washed up too. That’s a tough way to live. How much is that glory worth.

Water & Power

I got my department of water and power bill today. And it came out to $40. I was shocked how small this bill was considering it is for two months. So basically I spend about $20/month for water and power. I feel like I use more. And that’s a good thing. Too often I think we live past our means, and then when you really need a cushion, that bill comes at the worst times.

It also got me thinking that the power company knows how many people you live with, based on that bill. Clearly I am alone. I’m not completely comfortable in them doing this type of database calculation. But, not much I can say about it. I think they do put out a survey so that can’t say they are being sneaky about it. But they bury it as a “census” to maximize your usage. I think it may be bullshit. It’s clearly to spy.

I think I’m something of naïve when it comes to these things. When I use to buy booze and cigarettes, the grocery store would make me enter my “rewards card” (which to this day, I’m not sure how it works). This information is more than likely sold to health insurance companies. Or life insurance companies, so they can evaluate you. Though being denied a specific care because of these factors seem archaic now, considering universal health care is here. However, the fact that someone assumes this about you is unnerving. What if I had a granny who liked her Smirnoff and Camel Wides? They would attribute this to me. Or, at the very least, think someone in the household is getting second hand smoke and adjust accordingly. You know who would be perfect for this job? Middle aged women. They are busybodies who love boiling down the basics of people and slapping them with one big dossier. Middle aged women also live to be the gatekeepers of…well, anything. That much power to the powerless and largely ignored is crack to them. What better way to get back at society, the one that marginalize them based on sexuality and child birth potential then to be the thumbs up or thumbs down of young people with vices. Finally, wielding their influence. I don’t blame them in the least. Rarely is my opinion really even heard. Certainly not appreciated. That’s why I write stupid thoughts here. So I can vent. About the world. Imagine if I could swipe at someone’s life, dangling that elusive carrot to the desperate and pitiful. I should never be given this task. I would take such a uncomfortable glee in dispensing my own brand of justice to those I felt slighted me.

Or just turn in my report and let nature take its course.

Teenage Crushes pt.1: Red Heads

I thought I'd start posting actresses I had crushes on when I was a teen. There are women that you just never forget. They get into your psyche and as you get older, they get older. Sometimes, it's shocking, other times...you just shrug and wonder "maybe now...I could hook up with them." Yeah, right. But doesn't hurt to wonder:
So on with the show...

Lea Thompson is stunning. I’d seen her in “Back To The Future: and despite the fact she started off a middle aged drunk, seeing her as Lorraine Baines in 1955 was a total boner. Especially for a kid who just loved Americana. She WAS Americana. Redhead and wild, she was a bobby sox sweet girl. And it wasn’t too hard to see how you could fall into her dimples and soft eyes. Later I’d seen her in “Some Kind Of Wonderful” and “All The Right Moves” The latter she showed her tits. To Tom Cruise no less. Maybe I was puritanical at the time, but the fact that Cruise banged her in that movie, sort of ruined it for me. Yeah, fucked up, but that’s kid thinking. She has a great set of cans though.

Annette O’ Toole. Annette was stunning in “48 Hours” as Nick Nolte’s suffering cop girlfriend. I just recalled her freckles. She also showed her tits. Good stuff. I remember going to a drugstore when they had video stores, and picking up “Superman III.” That movies is GOD AWFUL. It killed three icons for me, Christopher Reeves, Richard Pryor and Annette O’Toole. She was suppose to be the replacement for Margot Kidder’s Lois Lane. It’s not a big secret Superman would prefer Annette. Another fresh faced American. In the 90's I got re-acquainted with her in "It" How is it that she was surrounded by dopes. I could've been one of those dopes. That movie holds up. That movie "It" What's it called?
Right.
Right what?
It's called "It"
Yeah, what's it called.
You got it.
Got what?
It.
Yeah, what's it called.
Exactly.
And so forth...

 Shawnee Smith. I mean technically she isn't as red as the other two fire women above. But she is the stuff made for dude crushes. I recall watching "The Blob" (as recent as a few weeks ago). I didn't realize how cute she was. As a teen, I was mostly into blondes, but something about a woman holding a flamethrower is a game changer. Almost exactly two decades later I met her on the set of "Saw." Youthful as ever. She never seems to age. And, she is really nice. I didn't have that much of a crush of her then, and COMPLETELY forgot she was in "The Blob." Which bummed me out. Guess what? The two writers of "Saw" Leigh Whannell and James Wan had massive crushes on her. That part was written specifically for her. She went on to do a few more. Most likely, even though they put a kibbosh on the franchise, she will return.

I Feel For You

Two things missing from rock music today. And I will stand by this...
1) Sexy saxophone - Tim Capello comes to mind. Or whoever did that "Careless Whisper" for George Michael.
2) harmonica. I mean everything Stevie Wonder and Steve Winwood...actually most all "Steve" music requires this instrument for maximum soul. Prison-soul, I'm reminded.

If you have both all the better. I share Chaka Khan's sentiments when she states:
she feels for you...

Also...I think Chaka may hold the record of referring to herself in a song, over say...Bad Company. Yes, I count the stutters chaka khan. chaka chaka chaka...yes these count.

The Photo

“Congratulations getting on Explore.”

I have no idea what this is. But when I woke up this morning I had about 40 emails telling me a photo I’d posted on Flikr had made this list. I thought it was a glitch. Throughout the day, I kept getting emails of people who liked the photo. It was a test scan from a short film I’m in the process of making.

This really isn’t a humble brag, but I have no idea what this is. Even doing a simple search, I still don't know what it means. But it was really cool to have 6,000+ views of this image. This has never happened before. The closest my photos have gotten were roughly 2,000 views. And that took a couple of years, and people stumbling on it. Never have I ever received this many in one single day.

This goes back to what I’d been saying. I have no idea what people like. I thought for sure my photo stream of actors in vintage looks would’ve generated this type of buzz, never by accident.

I still don’t know what “Explore” is but people seem to be congratulating me, and that’s cool. I guess.

"Charade" (1963)

This is actually a dark comedy of wild goofy fun adventure which moves us through some great European scenery. It’s a chase movie, a romantic comedy, action, mystery, mistaken identity. Everything you love. The banter between Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn can never be replicated. And you understand the charm of these two makes you overlook how silly the plot is.  Alongside for the fun is James Coburn, a tough looking American, but also Walter Matthau, the funny looking American. Who is who and what does everyone want is the charade in question.

Despite the fact that this is decades old, it never loses the mystery and twists and turns that are missing in today’s movies. Because we’re too cool for school. But this movie exists in this time because, of the look of Technicolor and, because movie stars could still look like movie stars. For some reason we want our movie stars these days to look more like us. That sucks. Also the fun. There’s even a reference to “My Fair Lady” as Grant rides and elevator with Hepburn

Grant: “Here you are”

Hepburn: “Where?”

Grant: “On the street where you live.”

Gem!

What I love about “Charade” is the unapologetic fun and charm jammed into spy movie. They try to do it with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie a few years ago, which almost worked. But still lacked…that Cary Grant twinkle. George Clooney seems a bit too smug but he is the closest we got. But everyone seems so seriously. I truly miss movies like this. And it’s a shame.

Gays, You Can Marry

We're going to look back on this and wonder why we wasted so much fucking time on something so stupid. Who cares if gays marry? We should be ashamed that it was even on the table. Why? Because a separation of church and state. And by the way, you fucking assholes who say "well, marry your dog or cat and blah blah" FUCK YOU, dumbfucks. Like you have this much reverence towards marriage.

This is so not worth our time, it sickens me that it was even an issue. I think most of it was to try to explain to children why two same sex people would want to marry. Yeah...you have to explain why White and Black marry? Or Asian and Black marry? Or do you just tell them it's impolite to ask and look.

Again, religion has fucked up our view on human rights. Gays are the very least of our worries (unless you go to the Studio City L.A. Fitness and shower). This should've never been on the table. It's common sense for anyone who love each other to be miserable.

I Really Don't Understand This

My friend from college is about to have another child. Atop of this, he has a mortgage on a home and owes a six figure sum to college. His job, is however, NOT six figures. So, it makes me believe, there will be a moment when this dude cracks. His wife is nice enough and sweet. But sweet isn't going to bale them out of bankruptcy. Which still doesn't erase student debt. We can all live like this for so long, but it does start to break at the seams. Especially when you are desperate. I don't ever want to put myself in this position. This is a no-win. Because, I don't think your family will ever be happy. And there is no solution to a life that you live for others. It just doesn't make any sense to stretch yourself so very thin.

I guess if you do have two incomes, it alleviates a little bit of it. But that is at the limit. If you take home just enough to pay bills, any delineation from this could be disastrous. As I'm sure he realizes, which keeps him up at night.

I rarely hear him talking about his financial woes. When he does, he seems to believe it's manageable. Call it blind optimism. It is a massive sacrifice to which holds admiration for the moxie it takes to undertake this much at once. I'd be so stressed, I'd probably turn to crime, just so I can get some rest in prison.

"Limbo" (1999)

Why did I wait this long to watch this movie. It is BRILLIANT. And solidifying my already high respect for director John Sayles. We all should be lucky to think about making something this good.

Similar to most of Sayles’ movies, they are haunted. People who’re usually the salt of the Earth who are put to extraordinary circumstances. Usually in random violence, but not without wit and dark humor.

The story is of a mother and daughter who have been drifting through Alaska, a town in transition from a fishing town to a tourist town. Most of the local fisherman are leaving, kicking and screaming. But the new developers have plans for the town. Within the town lore is a man named Joe Gastineau (David Straitharn) a deeply haunted man, who lives in solitude until he comes across these two. Then the real adventure begins.

Sayles is a storyteller in the traditional sense. You get the feeling that you could sit around a fire and listen to his stories. A modern day Mark Twain with wit and clever moments that come together as a story. All the characters in the movie are EXACTLY how you want them to be. Dynamic, heart wrenching, and truthful. You know people like this. People who survive in the fray.  What is amazing about this script, is that it intertwines a lot of truisms within stories that relate to the core of this story. Yet it does not in the least feel staged or fake. It forces you to ask what you would do. And the solution is never as simple as you think. This movie boils down the fundamentals of human existence. That nature will continue as we die. The answers are complicated. And poetic. However, it is not a abstract movie. It is easily accessible, as Sayles has the talent of doing. He knows the terrain he walks, inside and out. And it’s beautiful. And more importantly, there hasn’t been another movie like this. That’s how good it is.

People are going to be pissed at the ending, but...it's a great journey.

People Do Take Yelp Personally

So my Lebanese mechanic/owner of shop was waiting with me, for my car to come down the hydraulic lift. He was just scratching his head.
"You know, bro, this bitch come in here, I try to help her, so talk shit to me on Yelp"
Fuck if I knew he read Yelp of all things.
"Really? You've got over 60 five star ratings. People see that, they know she's just being vindictive"
He completely glossed over me telling him that.
"She was calling me 'idiot', 'dickhead', saying I'm stupid, that the girl in my office is no good."

I will say perhaps 1 out of those 4 is true. But I won't say which.

I just stared at him, letting him vent. He explained to me that a girl came in for an oil change and tires and ended up getting him to fix a scratch on her car. He proceeded to spray paint it (which...I dunno, the thought of spray paint on anything is never good). Then he explained that she was a "broke bitch" who wanted things for nothing, although he was just trying to do her a favor he gets "fucked in the ass." Colorful people. I was curious and found the review. Yes, it's mean, but it wasn't unfair. The girl did put up points and was very detailed. Frustrated and angry, she also resorted to name calling. I think if I were the owner of this auto shop, I'd as soon let those types of things go, instead of trying to be too helpful. Sometimes people need to hear "no."

I didn't realize how much Yelp owners take seriously. I guess, for mechanics, it is FAR more specific. One bad rating does send people away. He went on to lament how slow it's been for him. Business-wise. I think it's been weighing heavy on him. He seems to be really sensitive to what people think of him. I guess it's hard when you come from a country so far away and trying to make it. People pleasing extends to a point where you start to hurt yourself. I suppose as long as the customer is happy. I think an American one would as soon tell you to go fuck yourself, then waffle about getting fucked in life.

Who would've guessed Yelp meant so much to people. Makes me think twice about the scathing reviews I write.

Changing Of The Ten Dollar Bill

Don't know anything about Alexander Hamilton, other than he may've gotten into a pistol duel with Aaron Burr over peanut butter or something. But, he's been on my ten dollar bills since I can remember. So, the government wants to put the face of a chick on money. Doesn't this cost money to do? Nothing the government changes is cheap. A simple swipe of a pen already costs us millions. Think if this came out of the government worker's salary. How much more quickly they'd enact things. Piss me the fuck off.

Also, how am I suppose to feel handing a bill with a chick's face to a stripper and not feel, less awkward. I mean, they haven't decided on the chick yet, but if it's Harriet Tubman, that's a boner killer. So is Amelia Earhart, or all these other chicks who made America great. They weren't so pur-dy.

I think it's a waste of time. Next to the Confederate flag we are wasting too much energy on this garbage. Should really focus on retarded kids, or hungry cripples or some shit that makes a fucking difference in people's lives. Don't count me in, since I'm not that busy of a busy body. Nor do I really want to waste any more effort trying to convince people that theses aren't really problems. Go to Pakistan, where brown people are dying from heat and dehydration. Yeah, THAT'S an issue. Whether or not some suffragette gets his dog mug on green paper is...well, it's stupid.

The Gays Got It Right

This equal opportunity bullshit is...bullshit.

The gays got this right. They are the most judgmental catty ass wipes on the planet. Think anyone in the our hetero world would ever cut into their act with "it's not fair, I DON'T get to be a fashion designer." Nope. They'd tell me to take my $2 Chucks and hit the road. Who else can get away with this, besides the gays? AND..they'd be right. They exclude people more than you realize. If you don't wear something that is aesthetically pleasing to them, they'll let you know it. Imagine if I did that to a chick. "Hey lady, your dress makes you look fat." I'd have so many lawsuits slapped on me before I could blink. Gays will hire other gays. a gay guy has rarely, if ever, been sued for discrimination...you'd think women would be the first on that wagon. But, shit...they'd be turning in their bestest buddy. Since most women have at least one gay friend. Guys only have gay relatives.

So people, don't give me that shit about how we're excluding gays or women or whatever. They're excluding us. And we're fine with it.

Sticker Shock

I’m not sure how people go through life without having fits of shock when it comes to how much shit in this world costs. And cost of living has gone up. Making movies is the strangest. I always get sticker shock whenever I get my film back from the lab. Or how much it is to buy. People seem to hand over dough as if that is what is necessary. It especially confuses me that people buy new phones every year to update an iPhone. Or a digital camera. Usually it’s “meh, it’s $600.” I can find thousands of things I’d buy first than a new phone to update one that is perfectly functional.

Like today, I’m waiting for my car to get new brakes. This after being told my coolant system needs to be replaced. Money on top of money. I’d rather spend it making a movie. But…I arrive at the same place. I’m starting to sell off a bunch of knick knacks around my home I haven’t had the time to do. Life really makes you make time for stuff when you’re concern about wanting to make a movie in a few weeks. That shit costs money. And before you accuse me of being a hypocrite, since I did just mention how little makes one happy…I’ve a purpose to the money, and none of it goes to impractical things, such as a brand new car, drugs, booze or hookers. All the stuff money can buy. It is kinda’ funny that money can buy a piece of skin between a girl’s legs. If you think about “the oldest profession in the world” those greenbacks are backed by gold. So, I think if a girl ever says her pussy is gold, she’s not that far off. That’s if you spend it on that.

Back to my original point…shit in the movie business is always expensive. It’s like exercise equipment. It’s so specific that the industry pretty much tells you what it’s worth. For instance, a circular disc bounce board that is collapsible, in the “real world” costs about $15. For whatever reason, you can find a similar one that is labeled for the movie business that is $80. Same with simple things. A bag of clothespins traditionally used for…um..clothes, but in the movie industry used to secure gels to lights go for three times what they sell for at any retail store like Target. Yet, if you buy it at an expendable store, it’s a monster mark up. Nothing is different. They’re clothespins. And NO one seems to be outraged.

A professional grade digital camera, such as an Arri Alexa, engineered by the Germans and used to replace their film cameras (as none are made anymore) go for about $84,000. Yes, you read that right, it is about a tenth of the cost of what you would put down to buy a nice home (or in some parts of our country, a whole house). That’s just for the camera body. Once you have the accessories (which the markup is insane) you’re looking past $100k. Who the fuck has this type of money? I asked my friend, who is an Arri technician. I think he wanted to say stupid people. But what he ended up saying was that they buy it and lease it out. Basically it’s a consignment, and bank lends them the money to buy. Arri has their own financing, but then you’d owe Germany. I get that this technology is very specific. I mean, if you ever seen how one of these are made, you’d probably be wondering why they didn’t charge more. But, as shared by my friend, it’s a lot of trial and error. Precision machinery, much like a high performance car, STILL has issues. These are headaches the earlier buyers are facing. You just don’t buy something like this and walk away. They also have a warranty (of course) a plan that insures your camera, which by the way is the size of the old VHS camcorder and about the same weight, runs to specification. Does it worry you to carry this hardware out to middle of the Amazon? It should. Or maybe not, there are German ex-pats hiding in South America. I just don’t understand how people don’t have a heart attack taking on this burden. I bought a film camera that will obviously have some issues. But it is still mechanical. Only that technicians who service them, are dying out with (apparently) the lions. Maybe it’s me. That I don’t earn enough to not feel overwhelmed. I’ve never heard my Dad ever complain about what things cost. To him, it cost what it cost.  To me, shit cost way too much.

Barack Obama On Marc Maron WTF

Maron's voice irritates me now. Poor interviewer, always turns conversation about him. It would take a U.S. President to make him take a few steps back and actually focus on someone else.

The interview isn't that interesting. All things politicians say. But it isn't without some level of merit either. To snag a guy like Obama to sit down and talk is no easy task. And to do it in Maron's garage is insane. Especially when you consider it's in the middle of a suburban neighborhood of Hollywood that most likely would shut off traffic for miles.

Anyway, it's a typical homespun talk. Maybe this is just the old fuck part of me, but I'm fascinated by the bizarre nature of this interview. Most likely that I couldn't imagine ANY active U.S. President in my day doing something like this. Mr. Cool did it without a hitch. And is really how you would expect him to be. Very laid back, nice and answers questions in the affirmative. Rarely does he "correct" Maron. He allows his thoughts to be heard (a politicians move). I also started chuckling throughout wondering if they downloaded on iTunes in the Middle East what those people must've thought of him. In particular those radical Islamics. "Fuck you Cool Breeze, no matter what your infidel heart says, you will diiiiiiieeeeee!" Never mind the fact that he's being interviewed by a guy who has an addiction to nicotine lozenges and talks to a cat at the end of a podcast. You also have to believe that those dirt bag terrorist in the Middle East must feel a sense of Obama being human, instead of a cheap poster with a target on his face. That if they truly listened to his words, he isn't a terrible human being (come to think of it, the right wingers may feel the same way). It's to take things into perspective. He never gave excuses, but I truly loved the moment when he questioned people questioning his administration. Yes, he threw out a few statistics. Particularly about the lack of jobs and the recession hitting us at the peak, just when he went into office. I never felt like he was saying it to toot his own horn. In essence, it seemed like he was attempting to tell his critics "step back, Jack, it's not as bad you think, change doesn't come in giant steps." Which is true for even the administration they'd get into.

I've always said, presidents, governors, mayors and whatever...they're not in it for civic duty. They're in it for legacy. And that's fine. It was never amiss that Obama didn't rah-rah the American people. Which is phony. I credit his press group that would support him speaking so openly. He comes off really well, off the cuff and friendly. Good guy.

"Twins" (1988)

Schwarzenegger is in the the new "Terminator: Genysis" movie. Pretty clever to spell Genesis differently, than say...the bible. It made me curious enough to revisit "Twins". And aside from some touching Danny DeVito, sludge DNA cocktail laments, this movie is pretty stupid. One thing, that I did love was Arnie's commitment to the ridiculous. This proved that he was perfect to do comedy...as the straight guy.

Danny DeVito plays Vincent Benedict, a street hustler and a despicable human being. Meanwhile Schwarzenegger plays his twin brother Julius. They have been separated at birth, one to live on a tropical island full of people pampering them. The other, to fend for himself in the mean streets of Los Angeles. It is the first time I've seen L.A. really portrayed as what it is. Scumbags who stroll Hollywood (not so much anymore but still...). Despite looking NOTHING alike, they share mannerism, which is an interesting way to show they come from the gene pool, silly but good enough. They are out to find their mother whom they discovered DIDN'T die in childbirth as they were first told. The result is zany, silly fun. Mostly that these two are so different, yet the same.

One of the most charming things about Schwarzenegger has been his inability to grasp how funny he is. He just says what he wants, tactless or not. That's pretty much most of Austria. They tell it like it is. Or how they perceive it. It's us 'Moricans who are offended by off-colored comments. So it's no surprise his charm wins over the luscious, and I mean I-miss-the-80's tight bod of Kelly Preston who plays the sister of Chloe Webb. I see what you did there, Reitman...a mirror to the twins. By the way, Preston has never looked hotter. Check her out in "Mischief" to get some real spank bank material.

Now what starts off as a gangster movie, turns into a road trip movie, that turns into a brotherly love story. It's almost as if they wanted to cram everything they love in the movie, because the core was so thin. They make frequent pauses to do odd things...like visit a honky tonk bar so they can show Julius how to dance. Or that Julius has never had sex before. These are distractions to extend the movie, which is fine. It does, feel...overall, and perhaps it's our society today that it's just too goofy to exist in the modern psyche.

There's been talk to make a second one, with Eddie Murphy as the third brother. Now, if Julius was the golden god, and Vincent came from the dregs of what was left over from Julius, what port hole do you think they can possibly play Eddie comes from that won't paint it to be awkwardly racist.

Just don't make it.

The Thrill Of The Shoot

I have officially kicked off the first day of shooting for my next project. And really excited. Dropped the negative off at Fotokem and got it back today. Scrubbed through the footage, and the look of film is indescribable. I seriously have no clue as to why anyone would shoot digital. The lens I use costs a fraction of big expensive glass and...on celluloid, it looks on par with what's out there. The sharpness. The color. The gloss. Fuck. I miss it.

And the thrill of shooting movies. In fact, I think I've been going about this all wrong. The first day was at my friend Betsy's home. She lives in the hills of Echo Park, a now rebuilding artist community. Her view faces trees and wide open spaces. And is surprisingly quiet. She is in a world all to herself. It IS totally like a treehouse, and so well hidden, you feel L.A. has disappeared. There are people walking outside, in the bright sunshine. Beautiful people. I hate being the ugliest person walking in public. But, they drink Kambucha drinks. Parents pushing their kid in a stroller. It reminded me a little of Sierra Madre, near Pasadena. Anyway, I don't have assistants, camera loaders, sound or anyone. And we moved fast. Granted, I shot what amounts to 1/8th of a page in the script, but it took 2 hours to knock it out, and we were out of there.

Speed. That was it. I recall shooting another pickup day to "Afro Ninja." This was after all the trailers, and caterers and makeup and everyone was long gone (days ago). It was me, the director and a few assistants. That was it. A lens and my camera and we breezed by the day's shooting. It got me thinking how much bullshit pomp and circumstance there is to making movies. The shit you don't need. You just need to move fucking fast. Personally, it was also the best looking footage I shot of that movie. And it was also the most exhilarating, since we were moving so fast. I equate it to a band of guerilla warriors in the jungle moving slick-like and efficient. Instead of the bombastic rolling army that made too much noise.

This is absolutely how I like to work now. And I think the results will show.

"Imitation of Life" (1959)

If another one of these modern day women bitch and moan about how there aren’t any strong female roles, I want to take a copy of the is movie and slap them hard across the face. This is THE quintessential answer to all these stupid actresses today that don’t believe there were women roles. My guess, they didn’t bother to seek out this movie. Or “Gone With The Wind” or the “Three Faces of Eve.”

This movie is BRILLIANT. Directed by Douglas Sirk, it tells an epic story of a late-start actress, Lora, played pitch perfect by Lana Turner, who raises a daughter, Susie (Sandra Dee) who on a chance meeting befriends a down on their luck other mother and daughter (Juanita Moore..Annie, the mother, and Susan Kohner, Sarah Jane…the daughter; both went on to be nominated for Best Supporting Actress…when this award actually meant it, and NOT just some po-dunk cameo with cool lines). Their relationship is the most fascinating, since Sarah Jane, is so light skinned black, she passes for white. This is the core of her identity crisis in a world that is cruel to blacks. And will come to be a huge matter of contention in throughout their lives.

When their family dynamic first begins, Lora is a dreamer who has her ambition focused on an acting career. She experienced the pitfalls of most struggling artist types, except there is an added issue, that she is also a widow with a daughter in tow. Enter Annie, a sweet black woman who is content with just a roof over her head for her and her daughter. They all cram themselves into a tiny apartment, attempting to make a living. And they do so, by dodging their landlord, and taking on a menial duty of stuffing envelopes for cash.

There is also a character that enters their lives early on. Steve is a photographer that captures their chance meeting at the beach. A friendly enough guy who develops a deep love for Lora, though becomes the crush of Susie. He is a photographer hobbyist, who almost literally, stumbles into their lives. He is a strong, determined man, who…if he existed in today’s world, women would throw themselves at him. He is the oak for which most women dream of hanging their lives on. A trustworthy gentlemen and a man of his word. You never suspect him of his intentions, since his life eventually revolves around waiting on Lora to discover herself and catch up to him.

What I loved about this movie is that it is hard reality. For a movie in the late 50’s they are tackling some terrible issues. Racism, child neglect, and, in the case of Lora, the casting couch. Both women are resilient in life’s torture, they both seem to approach from different angles. And they ring true now as they do then. For instance, Lora is a blonde hair, blue eyed beauty who believes the world has hope and opportunity around the corner, whilst Annie leans on just exposing enough of the terrible realities the black culture has to face. But, what I love about Annie, is that she does it with a quiet strength. She has so much pride and dignity, and embraces life’s challenges. Often times swallowing a lot of pain so her daughter, who can’t even stand the sight of her black skin can have a better life. And it’s tortuous to see and feel the Sarah Jane pull away until the inevitable has to happen. It’s a gruesome relationship that seen one way fills you with disgust for Sarah Jane, but still makes you wonder if she doesn’t have a point. The title itself is brilliant. Since Lora is an actress, the common motif is that the world is her stage. And oftentimes Susie is fed up with the dramatics that her mother cannot let go of in real life. This is very prevalent in “stars” today. Their public persona extends to their private one and don’t even know what is part of a movie/play and what is actually real. In other words, Lora does a great imitation of life. But life gets right into her face, where it becomes unscripted. And at a breaking point doesn’t understand complete how to function. This is a heartbreaker. And I implore you, if you haven’t already to seek it out.

Confederate Flag Fiasco

This thing's been flying over some southern state for God knows how long. Apparently there are people who revere it (can't understand why...they lost). While others want it taken down.

You know what, you fucking idiots who spend time debating this?...THIS is why we're so fucking fucked up. Yes, it's a symbol of red-neck-itude. WHO FUCKING CARES? People who take offense to this TINY, and I mean miniscule thing, are the reason why shit doesn't get done in your hovel. You worry about dumb shit. You are dumb shit. Working small to large gets votes, doesn't get shit done. SO you worry about something that is comically put on top of a Dodge Charger and jumped over haystacks? How are you fucking ever taken seriously. Who gives a shit about a flag? While you're worry about this shit, your kids aren't going to school. Or bitchin' about how life isn't fair or some other shit you should be focused on. Instead, it's "take the flag down." The time you spend worried about this should be the time you spend on improving education systems, or volunteering at a hospice. Nope, it's a piece of cloth on a pole. Do you realize how fucking childish this sounds?

It doesn't make a flying fucking difference. And before you grill me that the killer in that church worshiped the Dixie flag, consider that these also fly in Iraq, in some tent somewhere. But of course, you'd never pipe up for someone killing in the name of freedom who waves that flag. Let it fucking go. Do something much more productive.

Confederate Statues In Charleston, S.C. Vandalized

Um...this is the first I've even heard that there were statues to Confederate soldiers anywhere on U.S. soil. Pardon me for bringing this fact up, but...Confederates lost. The Union won. What fucking sideways thinking is it that we erect statues to losers. Have the Nazis done the same thing? Nope, it's actually illegal for swatiskas to even be in Germany. So, when a statue is vandalized, probably should really ask whether or not this is damaging to the collective psyche of the state. I say this because, honoring the memory of soldiers are fine, but taking great pride in a war to which almost broke up the United States (remember the "united" part) seems like an affront to the Union soldiers that sacrificed to keep up together.

And I'm not saying that vandalizing government property is a smart thing to do. But, the symbol seems to cause more trouble than it's worth.

"Kill The Messenger" (2014)

Gary Webb was a journalist with the San Jose Mercury news who made national news by breaking a story about the C.I.A.’s involvement with drug cartels to fund a war to stop Communism. Yes, a tiny paper in 1996 made ripples all the way to the White House. When people still cared to read a newspaper. Those days are gone.

In the 80’s and into the 90’s crack cocaine was an epidemic. It took hold of mostly the inner city. What was mentioned in “Boys N’ The Hood” was that black folk don’t own planes, nor do they have the logistics to haul in that much crack cocaine. They only had the manpower to deal with it once it got broken up. Little did they know, it was specifically targeted at South Central Los Angeles.

This is true. Cocaine was being shipped into the U.S. from Nicaragua during the Nixon administration which carried into the Clinton years . This was partially integrated by the C.I.A. But it was to fund the Contras and their defense against the Russians. The U.S. couldn’t just hand over a ton of cash without accountability, especially to an illegal war. Drug dealers can. So the U.S. government funded the cocaine entering the country.

Then crack blew up. Cheap enough for the streets, and highly addictive. Enough to keep money pouring to the Contras. As the C.I.A. looked the other way.

Two things come to mind. 1) That is an AMAZING idea. Simple as it sounds, getting Peter to pay Paul and have the money coming from Mary is perfect. First you’re getting money from addicts to fund your secret war 2) who the fuck trusts a crackhead.

So anyway, my real point. Crack was introduced to the streets. However, last time I checked doing drugs is optional. Not government funded TAXED shit. I mean the recreational shit. What they figured was that the inner city was too dumb to care. All they wanted was to get high. And they were right. See, in the 80’s cocaine was everywhere. It was as available as booze. The Wall Street crowd snorted coke. The inner city smoked crack. Money just falling from the sky. So what changed?

Crack killed people. And it made people kill people for more crack. The product was so good, it turned a community into a block of zombies. There is a choice NOT to smoke it, but they didn’t realize how addictive it was. Had junkies decided crack was whack, the Contras would’ve been shit out of luck and we wouldn’t have more people who hate us. That’s all history though. When was the last time you heard of anyone die of crack? Yeah, what happened there? Because they put the kibosh on that shit. They buried it, and like cocaine in Park Avenue, it simply disappeared. It’s all bargain basement now. Cocaine is cheaper than a cup of coffee. It’s no longer glamorous. Neither is crack. I’m certain we’d all self destruct had the war in South America actually mattered. The C.I.A. thanks you for your support.

What bothers me about this movie, is the micro-focused diligence in which a report needs to get their story read. The counter to that was to have other reporters tear down their story. To gut them and their sources to a point where that reporter becomes to story. Simple solution, let that story go. People have nowhere to go if they know you’re done with it. Why? What is that driven mode that a journalist needs to risk career, life and family. Which is roughly stated…to reveal the truth and let Americans handle the resolution. That’s chickenshit. In fact there is a moment in the movie where his life starts to be dissected by the press and discovers how invasive it is. Little does he see the hypocrisy. This is frustrating because he has such a solid family. Risking it all for that, doesn’t endear you to him, it makes him the monster. Anyway, because I felt something, I’d say it was a solid flick. Surprise Renner didn’t get some buzz on this role. He’s really good.

The Screening

The house didn’t look all that big from the outside. But that’s the one thing you can expect in L.A. The fascade. Once you stepped into the place, it opened up to a mission style house, updated with the newest tile, appliances and a courtyard with a fountain. This was an amazingly beautiful house. It wasn’t monstrous, but it made great use with the space. Everything matched, and I could tell the owner knew the finer things in life. Turns out it was a tiny blonde woman, couldn’t have been more than mid-30’s to early 40’s. She was sipping on a cocktail when she greeted me.

She was hosting the girl who invited me to a screening of her short film. And boy, did I step into Oz. It was late night. Euros seem to love late dinners. The host had mentioned she’d been up since 5AM throwing it all together. This was a place walking distance from Melrose Ave. A place where shopping is it’s own job. Also, it’s just a spit away from west Hollywood, which is gay-munity. This was the type of homestead that made you envious of that life. I had a friend whose girlfriend lived nearby in Hancock Park (this could’ve been Hancock Park, since my geography of Hollywood is off). It was the same design, in terms of Spanish style. Anyway, I saw my friend’s short film. Pretty good for having zero resources. She’s a go-getter and tough girl. Have to be to succeed here. But the one thing that sorta stuck out, was the group that was there. It was a mish-mash of different groups. As my friend, who went with me described, it seemed like a high school party where word got out and they couldn’t uninvited people they didn’t want there. My guess is…we were the sore thumb. I did meet a REALLY sweet beautiful girl there. She had a boyfriend who was in film school. His first year. I surmised by that, she was in her early 20’s. What struck me about her was that she was really level headed. Not affected by the movie business in the least, since she was getting into the restaurant consultant business. Her family has owned a diner near the Los Angeles International airport for generations. She is managing her pop’s place. Much like myself, an immigrant success story. She seemed to be reluctant to tell me her family was from Iran, as if I would judge that. She was such a sweet salve to a mesh of people who seemed more interested in who could see them. I liked her a lot.

It was really good for me to get out of the house. These stories need the break down more walls.

This was also the second party I've been too where in attendance was a big movie director. This time it was the guy who directed "Arbitrage." It's a hard core thriller about a broker who gets into mess he has to desperately start to shovel out of. The more he shovels, the deeper he gets. It's with Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon.

He introduced himself as just "Nick" He shook my hand vigorously and asked me what I did. "I work in post, I scan film"

"A lost art man. I love film. It's the best." So everyone knows. I learned something about directors, they are massively more interested in you than you are of them. He ask a few questions stared intently as you spoke. Another thing, since he looked like Bill Hader, it was hard not to just laugh. He was the lizard king. He asks me a lot of questions as to what I did. Very interested. And curious. HUGE thing. Curiosity. The minute you're curious, you've beaten a battle of boredom.

Nick came with his girlfriend. A sweet girl, who happened to be in the short film (I don't recall who she was in the short, since it had naked women in masks, I assume she was one of them in a mask. She was Eastern Euro pretty. Skinny as a rail. And tall. My guess is she is a model. Nick was really cool. He remembered everything about you. I can't remember a name. I try my best, my brain is sludge right now. Everyone at this party know everything. This is why they are successful.

Jon Stewart's Take On Church Shooting

“I heard someone on the news say, a tragedy has visited this church. This wasn’t a tornado. This was racist. This was a guy with a Rhodesia badge on his sweater … This one is black and white. There’s no nuance here. And we’re going to keep pretending: I don’t get it, what happened, there’s one guy lost his mind. We are steeped in that culture in this country and we refuse to recognise it, and I cannot believe how hard people are working to discount it.”

These are the thoughts of "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart. My question is...who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

Let me re-phrase, way to pander to an audience that would nod their heads in agreement no matter what you said, if you said it emphatically. You know your ears and you pander to them.

Nothing changes drastically in this country. We've already admitted to racism. On both sides, you fucking idiot. This choked up garbage that these fake news jokesters put up are so disingenuous it boggles my mind how many gerbils lap it up from the well. Yes, we all know there is an issue. Who the fuck are you talking about that deny this wasn't race based? Name names you fucking coward or shut your face up and do your unfunny show. Otherwise, throwing a fish into a room and waiting for it to stink up, isn't helping. If you don't have answers, the best course is to not throw out the problems you whiny shit. Because you DON'T have a solution. SO many people go on air and throw up their hands and say they don't know what the answer is, your solution is to get choked up, throw a bunch of pregnant dramatic pauses and act like you give a shit. Good. DO SOMETHING, and see how it works. Otherwise, you just sound like a moron. This is why people hate the media. Bullshit moments like these.

I Will Never Own A Gun

My Lebanese mechanic calls me an idiot for saying this to him. They're a colorful bunch. Very little filter. He was in the Lebanese war, for which I didn't even know there was a war. "WHAT they teach you in schools, my friend?"
"Well, grammar for one. And something called American Revolution for the other."
"You don't understand, my friend. There is gonna be World War III" (and this time it's personal) "when Russians are upset, they're not right in head. Get a gun my friend" (he lifted up his sleeve to show a few bullet wounds on his forearm) "Shot three times, see..." I couldn't tell if he may've done that while drunk in some Syrian dive bar. Didn't want to open up that can.

I had to tell Billy (yeah, that's his name) "I hate guns, I'm an angry person and I'll fly off the handle and regret it. I'd rather fist fight" He laughed. Hard. And long. Too long. "My boy, you will be the first to see, how humanity is with life." Which is when he went into another rant about "the blacks." He predicted the Ferguson thing but was wrong that it would reach Van Nuys, California. He claimed "the blacks" in our neighborhood would start burning and killing. He's a very dramatic guy. Friendly enough, but weird.

Frankly, I don't want a gun. Don't need one. I know I am one of those types that would wave it around, because I'd think it were funny. Children shouldn't own firearms, and I have the mind of one, so it's stupid of me to even carry. But Americans love them. Protect them at any cost. This dumb retard who killed those people in church...his family more than likely defended his right. Same "right to bear arms" that kills many people domestically. People argue cars do the same. Kill more people than guns. I'd say, at least cars are much more utilitarian and give you a sense of pride. Having many guns makes you look nuts.

I might've mentioned this before, but my high school friend's Dad, a surgeon, had guns in his house. So much for his Hippocratic Oath. Not sure what his paranoia was, other than an Asian guy in Ohio with a family, conjured up hillbillies (even though they lived in the richest part of Cincinnati). Came here from Canada of all places. Must've watched too much television and put the fear into him. The guy died of cancer a few years back. Funny how we haven't discovered a weapon for that.

Dylann Roof & The Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church

This 21 year old white kid with a Dorothy Hamil (circa 1980's) haircut went into a church in South Carolina and killed 9 people (allegedly). Hard to mistake that bowl head. Man...this kid needs to suffer. Just when things were going south between all of us, this fucking piece of shit comes in and amps it up. There's going to be a TON of who, what, why and where and hows. But the bottom line is this tragedy will go on. Why? Because the mentally ill keep getting guns. Adam Lanza, the scumbag who murdered those school children, was handed one by his own mother. Even trained by her. To supposedly keep him mentally balanced. Yep, nothing like shooting guns to calm the nerves. Idiots.

So now we got this scrawny punk who shoots up a church. A fucking church! Now I'm not religious, but, you could've went into a Denny's. Or maybe a IHOP. But a church. Fuck dude. That's where God really gets pissed. Not that this jackoff cares. They need to string this asshole by the neck. Then let him down before he passes out, then yank again. I mean, people are so outraged right now, it's near impossible to decide where to begin.

Claiming Who We See Ourselves As

Man, people...fuck...people just open the dumbest doors, not really seeing the bigger picture.  I don't give a FLYING FUCK what you see yourself as, if the general consensus sees you one way, then fuck you. The reason being...I will never see myself as Chris Pratt. But fuck you...if I decide I am Chris Pratt and I want you to address me as Chris Pratt, what do you think happens? I'll get a lot of "you're not fucking Chris Pratt." But for whatever reason a person with psychological problems, (yes you fucking transgenders have psychological problems) you get a pass. MEANWHILE, elsewhere in America, this nitwit murderous psycho had three people call in that this guy was going to shoot up a movie theater. Well, he certainly claimed himself to be a murderous psychopath, but...of course, we can't act on this. The result is what you see.

I'm never calling that fucker Caitlyn. Don't care what he says. I knew him as an Olympian on a Wheaties box. And that white chick who identified herself as black...lady, you're white. We REALLY shouldn't be constantly see-sawing like we do. Picking and choosing whom we decide deserves our sympathy and who deserves to be criticized. Consistency is the spine to stability.

Just don't let me know you use to be a guy, if you're a girl now. I don't give a fuck.

The Other Side Of Money Rant

I will say this though...if you've read through my money rant...
...you can use others' fiend for the green to your advantage.

I remember shooting a feature film where production didn't wrangle in what I spent to get the movie shot. When you wave others' money at people and make them jump through hoops, they jump really high. Yes, it's convenient to have dough so you can move mountains, but it really turns one into a massive asshole when things aren't done. And people in the movie business are particular. They have WEIRD hang-ups. It's not really what people do, but it is pretty much like shoving a wad of money into someone's mouth and telling them to shut up. Which, pride aside, they normally do.

I recall being on a movie in Connecticut where it was FREEZING cold in a bar. My feet were numb, and we'd been in a yeasty smelling crap bar in Hartford. The actors had been drinking, so their faces were red. And the scene was of a table of three telling this REALLY long story about shitting. It wasn't bro-humor, the guy was regaling a joke to his friend. Everyone on the crew was miserable, I was behind the camera falling asleep. It was a five minute monologue. We did four takes of that at 5AM (in December, the sun was just peeking out from the background). Had it not been for the morning, we'd still be there. Because the director didn't care how much money he spent on film, he wanted everything perfect.

I do miss those days.

"The Blob" (1988)

I loved this movie when I was a teenager. I watched it again yesterday, and I gotta’ say…it’s still really good. I’ve no idea why, except it really reminds me of what America was back in 1950’s. You have a small town and everybody plays their role. A cheerleader (Shawnee Smith), a bad boy (Kevin Dillion), the football player, the small town sheriff, the diner waitress and…a blob.

It’s a remake. But this is gruesome. Written by Frank Darabont (yes, the “Shawshank Redemption” guy) and Chuck Russell (who also directed it), these were the same duo who could’ve made “Monster Squad”.  It’s that type of silly sci-fi horror that keeps things really simple.

These were simpler times. The town lives for its high school football. And on this fateful day, they are hit with a meteorite. It’s no ordinary rock, it delivers a blob that starts to dissolve the townsfolk. I don’t want to give away the twist, if you haven’t seen it. But it’s also another type of movie. A rebel without a cause in love with the town sweetheart. Reluctant heroes we know will step up to the madness of what unfolds. And the best part, there are also unsuspecting victims. One of the dumbest things that happen these days is when they don’t also kill off key characters. Like they are immune to the laws of chance. People die. And it sucks when it’s someone you care about. This movie does it for great effect.

There’s a recent debate about that. In “Jurassic World” there is a particularly gruesome death. It’s not an earned death, but it happens nonetheless. A lot of people complained that it was a character that it shouldn’t happen to. My opinion is that this is why it had to happen. To open the playing field that NO ONE is safe. Children, dogs, women, and anyone else. This keeps you on the edge of your seat.

I really wish they make a sequel to it. Not sure it ever will be, since the original fell short at the box office. I think we’re ready for this type of B-movie again.

Money Is A'ight, But It's Not Alright

I know some may think I’m totally full of shit, but money doesn’t buy you the joy you think you want. How would I know? Because so many of my high school friends’ family were wealthier than most of America.

A close friend attempted to kill herself, but first she shaved off all her hair and claimed a boyfriend had raped her ( years later, she attended Princeton and disappeared off my radar). Another did so many drugs, his brain is melted. And one actually did die. She was in my algebra class. A sweet girl named Andrea. I recall talking to her a lot during class. Long brown hair, with light green eyes. She had the type of hippie beauty that looked like Katherine Ross. Or Ali McGraw. Freckled nose. She died in her driveway, asphyxiated herself, in a community that needed the ambulance to get security to key them in. It was that exclusive. My algebra teacher Miss Badger, was so distraught, she didn’t even return the following semester. Miss Badger was a VERY young teacher. Pretty and not so much  older than the seniors. She was that type of teacher, if she ever had sex with any of us and got busted, it’d be that “man, why didn’t I have teachers like that in school.” She took her job seriously. Which also meant she took us seriously. Andrea’s death hit her hard.

My friend Shayne, who I spent a ton of time with, really battled it out with his step-father. He was a lawyer, which was tough enough. But I never got the feeling his step-pop liked us very much. Most of us were artists on the other side of the tracks. In fact, he seemed angry most of the time. I think his job got to him. Why wouldn’t it? It’s helping people with money hide money.

Shayne’s mom was a total doll. She reminded me of Linda Grey from “Dallas” had the same hair too. Her dynamic with the hubby was toxic. A hot mess, that trickled down to Shayne’s little sister. She was a punchy kid who walked around with a chip on her shoulder. It was no big surprise she’d already been divorce by the time she was 22.

These people all came from wealth. A secret type of wealth in southern Ohio. Yes, they had money. But people were miserable because making money was all there was. Most were drunks, or cocaine addicts. But it was all so secretive. I would contest that most of the people who were the most well adjusted, were the middle to lower class. Since we at least had something to strive for. To us, living in a big house with nice cars meant freedom. Little did I know having all those things were really boat anchors. People are miserable whose life goals are to make paper currency. I’d claim that a fact.

When my car went koo-koo for cocoa puffs, yes…the ability to buy a better, faster, nicer car is a goal. If I were rich, that goal is but a few swipes of a pen on a checkbook. But that would’ve meant I treated these things with less importance than a meal. While some argue I have better things to do than to worry about maintenance, I counter with the fact that I wouldn’t have social interaction with people. Yes, people. My friend Vince and I were traveling when my car when nutso. So we stopped off at an auto store in North Pasadena. It was great to have Vince around since, being stranded sucks when every face you see is a stranger. Inside the shop, the auto shop guy guided us to some coolant for my car. I asked him if he’d take a look at the container that had the top popped off. To which he obliged. He informed me of a few things about that, maintaining pressure to push coolant into radiator was causing the vehicle to overheat. Must fix seal first. I thank him. Bought the coolant and some sealant. When Vin and I were debating on shop rags, the clerk dropped a rag on top of it all. I couldn’t believe it. Knowing he would lose another sale, he simply just threw a rag in for…nothing.

If I were the type to just abandon my car and swipe a card and buy a new car, I would not have learned this valuable lesson. That people can be decent in your time of need. Simple kindness goes a LONG way. Something I do see more of in the Midwest than out here. Which meant much more. In fact, the first sealant tube went crazy on me, and the clerk exchanged it without a word of protest. I should mention, as we were walking around, the only white and Asian faces were us two. The rest were black or Hispanic. Ethnicity aside, we clearly were not in the tawny part of Pasadena. Second lesson I learned, the poor and desperate stick together. With my sealed up coolant tank in place, I holstered my cynicism for a day, and felt…a sense that people are good and decent. This was an epiphany that having a lot of money could never teach you. If not just on the outskirts of Los Angeles.