Tuesday, June 19, 2018

"Oceans 8" (2018)

Women. Are. Not. Funny.
add to that...
Women. Are. Not. Cool.

This is a really dumb remake. I say remake though the allude to the previous Oceans movies. Never mind no mention of a sister in any of them. Nor, that they had a family of crooks. Did I miss something?

This is the heist of a diamond necklace at the Met Gala. You know the one that is about how crazy you can dress. Anyway, this movie is a colossal waste of time. It's a tick under "Ghostbusters" with the women cast, but still, it's on par.

Sandy Bullock...Jesus lady...you lost that thing. You act smooth in this movie, but acting smooth and being smooth are two different things. The remake Oceans of George Clooney wasn't even that smooth. Nor was adding Cate Blanchett who is essentially Rusty (Brad Pitt). Then the united colors of Benetton show up. Yes, you can't just have people who would actually be friends do a caper. These people are strangers actually who are willing to pull off a felonious heist. Because they're desperate? Wrong. The bait and switch is even lame. Nothing is hard for these women, though, in life...they claim EVERYTHING is hard. So what we have here is a hilarious phony caper with women. True fantasy I'd say.

About the humor...there is none. When James Corden enters, he's relegated to a bumbling dummy who would rather get some rather than none of his insurance back. Despite the fact that they previously said the necklace was uninsurable. Which is it?! This is how dumb this movie is. God what a waste.

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