Murder Mystery Common Sense

On this episode of “What the F Were You Thinking?!” we look at the case of Scott Peterson. This dumb fuck killed his pregnant wife (which was the premise to “Gone Girl”). This is how much I hate my fellow Americans.

This dumb fuck murdered his wife. The tried to get away with it. He had an affair with a woman (Amber Fry). His wife then goes missing. Then they find her dead, anchored with cement blocks and they found bags of cement in his boat house. Oh, did I mention he bought a boat a week previous to his wife’s murder. She was found in the bay, missing head, hands, feet and, basically anything that could identify her. Except...she was pregnant. So there was that fetus too. Hmm…

…it took these assholes a week to figure it out. A fucking week to deliberate. Because why? There was no direct evidence. That’s right. Turn off our fucking brains and hear the insane story of…perhaps a homeless guy did it? Sure, a homeless man murdered a pregnant lady and then took a boat and dumped her body out in the middle of nowhere. Because…? Then listening some of the jury members, they pat themselves on the back for administering justice. Great job, fuckfaces. You used a bit of your brain and realized the obvious. I know. Some of you fucks are like “Well you weren’t in the jury room. You don’t know. The law prevents one idiot like you to make this decision.” You know what happens when you put multiple people from different backgrounds into a room with an emotional case does? It makes everyone think they’re fucking Matlock.

It’s the same thing that happens in a story meeting. One person has an idea, then another person is added to “punch up the story.” Then more people are brought in to punch up the punch up. You know what happens? Mud. Assholes get off because 12 people are too stupid to agree. It’s a crab bucket. This system is archaic and stupid and all I hear is “well, it’s better than any system out there.” This system makes us assholes. Because we prove beyond a reasonable doubt. That interpretation is ridiculous. Have you seen how reasonable people are. Try asking Scott Peterson. They really should leave this to appointed people. Not the public. Again, we’re fucking morons. And we don’t want justice. We want to be right.