Everyone Has Dreams

A friend texted me yesterday and told me about her plans to get off the grid and go live out in the wilderness and grow her own food and everything.
It got me thinking, I recall being younger and having this dream to live on a deserted island. I think a lot of people have this concept of paradise.
So many people have wondered how me hankering down by myself, if it's lonely or how I'm handling it. I get invitations to video chats or one random girl online from a dating site wanted to meet at a park, social distancing intact, of course.
I laugh since solitude in my own thoughts isn't prison. It's escape.
Many people who probably have this need to socialize are most likely the loneliest people. If you don't prefer the company of yourself mentally, you have bigger problems. Because you will always be alone. In every aspect of life. And that isn't to say that you'll feel lonely. But even a man who has 12 kids will be alone when he dies. As I've said, I bet you that's the last thing a murder-suicide nut thinks when he takes everyone out. He didn't want to be alone.

Me? I'm fine with it. I've kept my mind busy. Revisited old photos. Bought a lot of film equipment. Basically planning a lot of things when it ends. But that's not my dream. And you know...making films was never my dream. It was image making that was it.
Manipulation with human behavior to articulate some real event to illicit an emotional response. I think that's why I can't wrap my brain around doing this to make money. We are essentially selling our dreams. And they seem to come cheap.

For some, it's being a superhero, for others finding the love of our lives. There's even a movie about my dream ("Castaway"). But I find it funny how so many people's dream is to work in Hollywood. Most likely in a system that doesn't work the way it use to. When you're on the inside you realize the inner workings. I know someone who thinks he knows the workings of Hollywood. But he is woefully wrong. He is on the fringe, so he knows that side. But the real paper shuffling behemoth that runs it has nothing to do with what you see in movies. They just need to experience it at some point. If they're willing to listen (probably not).

But, in your dreams to work here and be here...
The fabricated world and it's curtain being pulled ala "Wizard Of Oz" has been trying to dispel the myth for decades (if not the beginning of Hollywood). So many people flocked to Hollywood that they had to put up signs to thwart the actors coming into this town. Some wouldn't even rent rooms to them. They were like cockroaches. Nothing's changed. Except there are no signs, and the new ones who arrive are met with eyerolls.
Anyway, in "The Fall Guy", for example, Howie (Douglas Barr) Colt Seavers' (Lee Majors) cousin comes into town to want to work in Hollywood. He thinks Colt is a gazillionaire who lives in Beverly Hills. Instead he lives in a rustic cabin in the wilderness (most likely near Topanga Canyon) with an outdoor bathtub (which ironically would be worth millions today). But Howie is disillusioned. He thinks Hollywood is all glitz and glamour. But Colt has to remind him that bills need to be paid. Which is why he has to take bounty hunting. Surprisingly, this show is pretty accurate. Colt is constantly put on a bounty job because he has a truck payment, or mortgage has to be paid, or utilities. And, stuntman work didn't pay enough. The underlying joke is, that he works in fame and fortune but the reality isn't that at all.
It touches a lot on it in "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood." A lot of times, it's actors waiting around doing nothing but taking endless meetings about how their career have failed. Or bouncing around the city from gig to gig. Rick Dalton is just a working guy who just wants to buy a home and drink and pay for his pool. Does he want fame? He had it in a small dose. But he isn't comfortable in where he's at because of all the missed opportunities. This builds on you.

Hollywood was never a dream for me. It's just a job. What I really wanted to do was to make dioramas of life. And study behavior. And do it without the need to beg to any studio.
If I had a dream, I'm living it.