"Kindergarten Cop" (1990)

"I'm detective John Kimble, you idiot!"

Jesus...It’s strange to know that these kindergarteners in this movie are in their 30's now.  Some most likely have kids about the age they were when they were in this movie. Most likely older.

I was actually quite surprised how well this movie held up. In terms of comedic value. Sure it’s corny at some points. But Arnold Schwarzenegger is so charming and fun you forget that it’s actually a violent dark movie. Now before you think this schtick is easy, consider both The Rock with “Tooth Fairy” and Vin Diesel in “The Pacifier” both tried their hand at this and failed. That’s the power of Arnold. You see that he has a sincerity to him that gets through to audiences.

Directed by Ivan Reitman, Arnold plays tough L.A. cop John Kimble  who is on the trail of a merciless punk, played wonderfully by Richard Tyson. Last you saw him, he was age-inappropriate high school bully Buddy Revell in “Three O’Clock High” an extremely underrated movie. Now, it’s as if Buddy had grown up to be a father of a kid whom he believes is the key to a large sum of money. His mother has been on the lam, hiding him from this menacing father figure. So she hides out in picturesque town of Astoria, Oregon. The site of where “The Goonies” takes place actually.

The movie is quaint in the sense that you have an urban cop fish out of water in a small town. He is dropped into his toughest assignment: dealing with 5 year olds who give him more grief than any drug dealer/junkie/street thug can. What makes it absolutely glow is the innocent soundtrack composed by Randy Edelman. It’s so sugary, you KNOW it’s not the world we dwell in. Until, the dark reality of the city comes to town.

Added to this mix, is the amazing Pamela Reed, who plays the role of Kimble’s newly minted partner. I absolutely love her performance. Every moment of comedy is milked to its highest point. Her timing is near pitch perfect, every expression a gem. She is the absolute contrast to Kimble. The spirited yin to Arnold’s yang. Eventually which is par for the course, they learn to respect and rely on each other, as if they were related. And you buy it, because she genuinely has a deep affection for the big lug and his suffering at the hands of children. Of course, we can’t forget the love interest Joyce played by Penelope Ann Miller. Now there are amazing stories told about her. Some truly negative ones. Usually with how she is a diva and how every movie is about her, and that she is an attention whore. None of that translates to her character. As a sweet mom doing her best to protect her child, she gives her all. A mama bear willing to uproot at a minute’s notice. Although not a stunning beauty, she is a perfect one, because she can fit in this small town with her girl next door giggly girl look (there’s no way she was a gangster moll in “Carlito’s Way”…a total miscast).

What do we really take away from this movie, other than pre-9/11 we really had very little worries in the world. This is frivolous entertainment where the good guys win, with ferrets on their shoulder. And he gets the girl. And the music swells and we leave the theater feeling great about our lives. How would “Kindergarten Cop” end in post-9/11. Most likely Kimble abandons the poor kids wondering if he died in the hospital after being shot, and confides in Reed’s character that they’re better off without him and that his life is as a cop and always will be. Because that’s really real, and we are left with Kimble going back to smacking junkies and murderers around. Because we’re a lot more distrustful now. I like this movie, because it reminds me of when we weren’t so tough.