Recently ABC's "20/20" had an expose on Robin Williams that included a very strange 2006 interview with the funny guy shortly after a relapse in his alcohol consumption. It was strange for a few things. One, he was very up-front and clear as to what he did and how quickly it devolved to 20 years earlier. Secondly, he seemed to admit one painful moment of his life, while backhanding it with a moment of levity. What struck me as odd, was that the interviewer (Diane Sawyer) focused on him as the funny guy and NOT the guy with the addiction.
"Oh Robin, you're so funny." Really? I was saddened by this. At one point I felt that maybe he even was done with the bullshit. I mean, even when he was trying to be serious, he COULDN'T let his guard down. To the public, he seemed to have been screaming for help, whilst never letting on how much he really hurt.
Again, I don't blame anyone for what he thought was a very futile battle to life. I think, as I've said in the past, the moment you lose any hope in your life, is when it no longer has meaning. And it certainly has nothing to do with wealth or fortune (as so many people believe that if you're rich and famous, you find happiness).
As I get older, and cross things off my list, I find there is a plateau to how much money makes you happy. I find that when you pare down EXACTLY the breadth of your life, monetary accomplishments seems so petty. I strongly suggest that it is the backbone to most unhappiness. I find fulfillment in your everyday goals, a far more enriching life plan.
I feel in Robin William's case...he felt that the 20 years he lived sober, was all wiped away, along with his career and family life. Addicts, as I think I am myself, take so much guilt on the shoulders. People like us don't like to hear "no." Nor do we like to exclude things in our lives. To say we can no longer have a drink or do a drug, is more or less a death sentence to that person we were. You have to bury that person so deep, that 20 years won't be enough time to un-Earth. Unfortunately, I think for Robin, he always had one eye on the bottle. And (again as an addict) perhaps never fully believed he'd quit.
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