Wednesday, July 13, 2011

8th Day Of Sobriety- Secret of FAST Weight Loss Guaranteed!

If I were to give you the secret of how you can burn fat and lose a ton of weight in two weeks would you be interested in hearing what I had to say? I mean, we're talking weight in the double digits.

Lean in because I only want to say this once, and you should only read this once, because...well...because then it ruins the secret:

EXPLOSIVE exercise is the key

Horrible debilitating heartbreak is the other

Richard Pryor once said you don't graduate to be a man until you have your heart ripped out and stomped on by a woman. He also said that it would either make you fat or kill you.

I subscribe to this theory. EXCEPT, to me heartbreak can be conducive to the explosive workout. Remember earlier when I mention the Litvinovs my workout partner Brad introduced to our workout? You clean a heavy sandbag about 10 times, drop it and sprint as fast as you can 30-40 yards. And then you sprint back. Again, we added the reward of slamming a sledgehammer into a tire in between. So as you're huffing and puffing, you get to heave another weight above your head. Punch drunk boxers have better stability at this point.

What do you suppose that feels like?

Yeah, a gut punch like when a girl drops you for another dude. You're winded. You're numb. You're sick to your stomach. You wanna vomit everything out and cry. And you don't feel like eating anything. Well, combine the two and you have a fat burner like you wouldn't believe.

I recently had a heart wrenching turn of events with a girl. I thought she felt the same way. But it became real frosty and without going into a sob story, it really demolishes your ego. Makes you question your workouts. Makes you question what the hell you're suppose to think about for the rest of the day.  Do I want a drink? You betcha. The largest glass of whisky a leprechaun can bring me. Am I going to do it? No.

Litvinovs make you so nauseous your stomach is already full of hatred for you. I tried eating a peach just now, and it barely made it down my throat. God forbid I attempt the yogurt. Ever see "The Exorcist"?

So when you multiply this exercise by 5, you will shred as much weight as your heart can handle.

That is...the pieces that aren't completely broken.

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