My first job as a teenager (14 years old) was at Little Caesars. This was a time when you could get two pizzas for the price of one. I'm not sure what inspired me to pursue this job, other than free food...and possibly since it was close to my parents' place I could commute with them.
I first met Irene after the first summer I started Little Caesars. I was prohibited to use the oven as I was underage. So I'd stay in the sink area and wash pans for 6 hours a day. You learn a TON washing pans. The drunks next door at the bar would come in and just vomit all over our floors (keep in mind I could only work morning to afternoon hours, this would mean they were drunk over the night). And I'd offer them pizza on their way out. Preferably so they'd puke THAT up elsewhere. There was a manager Ken, who always talked about guns and his ex-wife. He HATED his ex wife, but he loved his guns. Which is an awful combination. At 14 I didn't understand this animosity. Guy was from Memphis, TN, looked like Daniel Hugh Kelly from "Harcastle & McCormick." Irene was hired the beginning of that summer.
Ken instantly took a disliking to her. For one thing, she was frumpy for his tastes. And secondly, she was the co-manager. Irene was also a lesbian.
She was exactly what you would think a lesbian should look like. Back in the late 80's anyway. Pants jacked to the midsection, large eyeglasses, stringy hair and not a bit of makeup on her. She chain smoked Virginia Slims. She would always address me by my last name. But always shouting for some reason "Kuo! Bring us another can of tomato sauce!" "Kuo! Another bum vomited! Mop!" And so forth. I didn't care. I thought she was funny. But Ken, boy...Ken didn't like her giving orders to anyone. Even to a peon like me. It became something of prison rules. Who would knock the other one out claim alpha dog. Irene had seniority while Ken was a technically, a transplant. Ken would also spend more time on the phone yelling at someone than his job. This didn't go unnoticed by Irene. They'd eventually brought in an older woman as a night operations manager. She was from a nearby store, and had to be there to train us on the promotions. Her name was Beverly.
Bev smoked more cigarettes than Irene. Bev was the spitting image of Polly Holliday from "Alice" even had the beehive hairdo. She didn't care what I did as long as I was cleaning something. She was so cool. She was also a lesbian. A different kind though, as she'd been married before.
Boy, when Irene and Bev got together, they'd sit in the back room, about 10 feet from where I was washing pans and just let loose about their dildos. They would name them and start cackling. Forget the fact that I was within earshot. But I didn't care. I thought they were hilarious. Bev would make jokes about her ex-husbands dick size. Irene would just make crass statements like "if we ever run out of yeast, we can just pull down Bev's pants!! Hee-hee-hee" I'd laugh along, completely oblivious as to what that meant.
At a certain point, the "ganging up" between the lesbians got too much for Ken and he disappeared. Transferred to a different shop. Bev told me later he did time for beating his ex-wife. I spent another two years with these two. They were fun. Irene even came out for one of our high school picnics. Bev never showed up. She felt it odd to be a over middle-aged chain smoking woman hanging with teenagers. Yeah, that's a red flag now...kinda' endearing then. These two really made sure people didn't fuck with me back then.
Irene actually showed up to my high school graduation. "Good job, Kuo" she nodded towards me. First time I'd ever seen her wear a dress.
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