Swagger

I was talking to my friend Ken today. Ken is an interesting guy in that he has lived life. Not necessarily a great life, but he lives the life most of us would probably judge as reckless. He’s changed so much. But changed so little. He’s in his late 40’s and has a very great perspective of the eccentricities of living in Los Angeles. As he's spent the majority of his adulthood here.

He’s painfully honest sometimes. For instance, I brought up that I’ve recently been dumped. His response “So what? You dodged a bullet.” Having never met the girl. That’s a great pep talk.  There ‘aint no elaborating with him. You’re either for us or against us. Even better yet, his opinion of Los Angeles women.

It’s not so much they’re from Los Angeles, but they adopt that attitude. What attitude is it? Same attitude we guys have been for years: there’s always something better around the corner.

It’s terrible. But there is no filter anymore. Well, there is and there isn’t. Truth is, you make up ANY excuse as to why you’re alone. What it comes down to is that we do sabotage ourselves A LOT. I, personally, allow the stupidest things to drive my emotions. I think a lot of that comes from having a chemical imbalance. For which I’ve brought on myself. Through the hardcore boozing. I wake up and look at myself in the mirror and feel EVERY bit of the binge drinking that has sapped me of much of my clarity. My old friends I haven’t seen in years, in their very kind words see that I’ve been put through the ringer. Even though my friend’s wife is ruthlessly candid with her opinions of people.

I realize that this woman who openly shares her disgust towards people probably sees herself in that same light. Just such a harsh critic of her existence. To that, I can only feel a sense of sadness for her.

Oh, know what else I learned today? When women look at you, they give you 3 seconds to make a decision as to whether or not they'd like to have sex with you, and after that time is up, they look for reasons NOT to screw you. In other words, we're our worst enemy. The minute we open our mouths, we start to backtrack in fuckability. ANYTHING. And I mean it could be a syllable, will be a reason to discount you. That's an alarming truth.

So if she even returns a greeting, it means you're in the running. For at least the amount of times it takes to suck in air. After that, depending on you flapping gums, it's downhill.