Are You Happy?

Someone asked me that recently.
This will most likely fall on deaf ears or ones that don't process information clearly, the goal isn't to be happy. That's for suicide cases. The goal is to be fine in your lot in life. The more ambitious you are the less you are at peace. Part of the payment.
And by judging my ranting gibberish, you'd think me angry. To specific things yes. To the rest of the things...absolutely not. I think too many people equate money, comfort and happiness. I think if I were destitute and living in the streets...I think I'd function as I do now. Finding ways to survive. And that's all we can do.
In the movie "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood..." it is essentially that concern. Are you okay with where you are in life? Many people probably aren't. Those who never followed their passion or those who became an adult too fast. They probably feel cheated and resentful. In those cases, don't. The part of gratitude that comes with living is that you made choices that led you to a life you need to appreciate. I'll be the first to admit that I lived with regret. In some ways still do. Mostly about a life that I know is more the romanticized version. Much like in "La La Land", it's that image of what life could've been had I stayed put. Those are haunting romantic views. And what's settled on...well, it's unfair to those people. I think a LOT of people here live with that heartache. Many have lived to close off. It starts young in an abusive home life that gets a child to switch off their receptors to anger. Self preservation mode out here is common. Most don't or won't accept kindness because they never got it. Instead, they feel they need to earn it some way. Love is a foreign subject because love isn't just words. That's the trick...love is doing without thinking of a return (foreign to Hollywood) it's sacrifice for others (foreign to Hollywood), putting others' needs first before your own (foreign to Hollywood). In this case, many who expect kindness, are going to be disappointed. Because it comes in many ugly forms. Harvey Weinstein showed great kindness in plucking a beautiful woman from the crowd and lavishing her with compliments and promises. And then raped them (allegedly). The world out here is very similar to Weinstein. Most people out here have ulterior motives. And if you live your live wondering what those are, you die inside.
I chose to watch from the bleachers. Hopefully, you can hold onto your kindness through the path you're about to hike.