Monday, May 28, 2018

"Solo: A Star Wars Story" (2018)

What a colossal shit-show this movie is.
Critics have given it a passable grade. They are lying to you. In the entire scope of story and plug-in to "Star War" lore, it's inexplicably confusing, and anemic. In fact, I would say, the sole reason this movie rated anything at all is because the overbearing music reminds you of a throwback era movie but looks like a fan made project.

This is a western. Which could've been "Solo: A Solo Story" because, it is a slice of a story that has NOTHING to do with "Star Wars" itself other than it comes from a galaxy far far away.
No one really asked for a Han Solo backstory. Apparently this was at the hands of Lawrence Kasdan who had always wanted to fill in some blanks with Han's smuggler run to get Oaxium (I think that's how it's spelled). The dude they chose to be Solo is Aldren En... fuck him, I'm not spelling his last name. He does well with the material and looks like a guy who didn't want the part and spends a LOT of time hidden in shadows to remind us he's not Harrison Ford. It's painful. Because we get those reveal moments of where Han got this and that and the other. But actually, it's falls REALLY flat.
Han's mentor is played by Woody Harrelson, who...I told you...you see too much of this fuck, you're going to get sick of him. Awful. Just Woody being Woody. They couldn't give another actor this role that could've propelled that person's career. Instead, Kathleen Kennedy and her infinite safety net needed a proven person.

Alright, I'm tired of talking about it. The deaths didn't seem all that dire. The people who betray and get betrayed...who cares? The visual effects? Been there and done that. Half these people would be dead if physics really were involved. The entire time I was watching this movie it hit me...they can't rely on true emotional loss because Disney doesn't do that shit unless it's a parent orphaning them. They've lost the balls to really care about character (unfortunately, in this case, they're chained to what happens in the future).

We really know LESS of Han in the end than at the beginning. Looking back at this movie is upsetting. It's sad what this franchise has become. Even though not really a fan, it is alarming what they are doing to the true fans.

No comments:

Post a Comment