If you're a true American, you must've thought I was talking about that Kansas City ball club. Nope, I'm talking the royal wedding every stupid fucking slag is ranting about.
Every woman wants to be a princess. Very few can afford it. I hate the royal family. Why in God's name are we celebrating the union of a pasty dude to a seriously questionably brown broad? It's confusing because...well, this may be the very first time a wad of cookie dough didn't marry anything that resemble someone that could be his sister. Like Charles did.
Yes, these people are so fucking inbred, they made West Virginia look like GQ models. Has inbreeding ever been good? Perhaps this is why this is good news. I think his new wife is American. Oh wait she is. She was in a beer commercial with a high school kid I knew. Classy.
Now some fuckface on Twitter is "throwing some shade" on Trump by comparing the crowd size to his inauguration. Fucking funny. Until you hear the people talk about this person showing a photo of Hillary's inauguration. Face!
This is what has become of society, I guess. Believing in the same fairy tale that also plugged in dragons. Yep. We set aside life for a while to once again drain society of funds for...wait for it...two fucking people. Yeah, people think I'm a colossal douchbag hater. But I'm chucking out some truths you may not have considered. I think it's great people are still getting married now. But I think it's awful they put up this much of a fuss. Tea and crumpets and...well, they are our best allies aside from those gloriously wonderful Aussies. Look, if the Brits are happy...life goes on. Was surprised to see what an ordeal it turned out to be.
I'm sure ISIS or whoever is looking on wondering the same. Jesus, I've become one of them. In terms of hatin' on happy.
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