When I was a kid I remember seeing all these older muscle building dudes (like Jack Lalanne) close to 50 and still be yoked. Not that I ever wanted to be THAT tortuous to myself. But I thought that just looking and feeling good at that age would be a goal in itself. Not that I'd ever want to be a gym rat or fitness fanatic. But I'm starting to be very cautious about the next era of my life. Here I am at 37 years:
I realize once people live a certain age, they are suppose to look a certain way. As an Asian man, it's difficult to see what others see since we're known to never age. I think that comes from having very oily skin though. It seems it's also sometimes very difficult to figure out some dark skinned Italians as well. Then one night you look in the mirror and can't believe what you see.
For me the salt-and-pepper sideburns are definitely from my mother. Her gray is very distinguished but she spends time dying it. I'm shocked, since she is married. EXACTLY who is she trying to impress? And I know my pop is too lazy to go looking for anyone else at this point.
Suffice it to say, I think we all have a tendency to want to hold onto youth. Because youth is alive. Youth is beauty. Youth gets attention. And youth is hopeful.
I see the aging process now. I see bags under the eyes. My face is starting to sag a bit. I may have been able to extend this a bit, had I not tapped into alcoholism. But...I think most people can see the "fun" I've had.
I've recently joined a dating site (as I've mentioned in previous post). And a lot of women seem lie about their age. Yes, I fall under the same judgmental category as most people. But if I were to pick out my contemporaries, I'd see women closer to their 40's and 50's. They want the young hotties to pick them out of the litter. A lot seem to be really anti-social misfits begging to want approval. Others...I think boredom. While others, re-living something that they missed out the first time around because they were too afraid to go out there and figure it out (which I fall into).
I think a lot of women past their 30's on these dating sites also lived past their party prime and now...trying to hold on to something that passed them by. Case in point, a guy had posted a very smoking hot photo of a dude on the site. It wasn't his photo, his mailbox was blown up by women. Yes, that also happens to smoking hot women as well, but here's the caveat...it happens to EVERY woman on dating sites.
I think most people like to think women aren't as shallow as men in the "looks department" but that's not true. Think of it like this, women spend a fortune on makeup, jewelry, shoes, sometimes plastic surgery, perfume, clothes etc...all in efforts to look good for men, but more importantly to impress other women with how well she is put together. She knows women talk to other women. And they want to give men whiplash. That being the case, what makes you think she doesn't hold you in the same regard?
And I've mentioned this before, social media makes it so that not only her friends are going to comment and praise or criticize you, a gazillion people as well. So what you end up having is women who are bombarded with quick messages (even overweight unattractive ones, out of the hope that this is much easier) and with them having the pick of our male litter. And guess what fellas, if you aren't all that, she'd rather take her chances in public. Or the hottest guy online.
Think about it, yes, we guys really like beautiful Playboy models. And we really dig porno (I mean, 3 minutes at a time), BUT what we come to being acceptable...well we really aren't that discriminating. Wanna know why? Because even if we got lousy pussy, we'd still brag to our friends. Otherwise, a woman is SO paralyzed with fear that her friends would rag on her incessantly with psychological pain, her ego wouldn't be able to stand the onslaught. I've witnessed it first hand.
So dating at 37 as a male is very daunting in the new era of social media (sorry to reiterate if you've read my past blog). I'm not bitter about it. I find my chances better in reality anyway. It's just something to consider as you age (or about to age) towards your 40's. You shouldn't be bitter either. It's an adventure to be sure.
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