Stillness

A friend recently got a Hollywood apartment for about $2600. He also bought a fancy new car and he's getting furniture for his place. It's pretty incredible, I'm not going to lie. I remember when he first started at the company where I trained him in one aspect. I knew he was going to move up and out and be successful. HOWEVER, I don't ever get the sense he will be happy.

I run into this often where I take on a lot of projects. It's not really the final outcome that matters, I believe it's the chaos and comraderie. That, I'm sure, military people miss as well. I worked in the movie industry on production for a good 7 years before getting into a regular job in post production. Truth be told, I function better when I work alone. Though the results just appear and the people in charge move on.

I don't sense this friend will ever fully understand gratitude. Being grateful for being alive and breathing air and being a part of organisms is a blessing. I use to think the same way. That I've been cursed in this body, in this mind with this situation, but in reality...the being within is what is important. All the small knick knacks and toys and comfortability was never for myself, it was always for others. And while that's fine if you take on that responsibility, it often lets to more resentment. You earn a great deal of material wealth to entice a girl, she likes that you are successful but then you have to buy the house, the car and so forth. It's not being materialistic, as women would tell you. But it's really about whether your children will be provided for. And that's the other thing...that is also financially soul sucking. My Dad would lament out loud what he could purchase in life had he no children. He was joking (I hope) but it also brought in mind that he was never given a chance. In his generation, they would get married young  and with a girl who was their age. Very few marriages in Taiwan were because they fell madly in love. It was because it was convenient and they could have a future. Fast forward decades and we see that a friendship had formed. Many Americans work opposite.

What I'm getting at with stillness is that we all need to take a break in life. I sense I'm taking too much a lot of the time. This hectic feel means to say "idle hands are the devil's playground" means you get in trouble when you have time to think. I'm not sure that's as valid today. I feel the hands are not what is idle, but the life. Idle life is a devil's playground BUT...a still mind combats it. A still mind that doesn't require a nearly $3000 apartment to silence his demons.