Wednesday, March 26, 2014

From The Hollywood Trenches

Recently a co-worker of mine quit to go into being a production assistant (P.A.) on a reality t.v. show. If you know the business, this position is usually designated to a third year college student who trades slave labor for a couple of school credits. It's win-win. Win on their part for education of a working production. Win on productions part for free labor.

Unsoundly, this guy I worked with is near 30. Now I can hear a bunch of you guffawing about following your dream. And he's doing what he wants to do and blah blah blah. I get that. But there are calculated risks. And THIS is not one of them.

First, personality aside, working as a P.A. is equivalent or worst than the assistant to a janitor. At least the janitor has experience to tell you what to do the most efficient way possible. YOU on the other hand are the whipping boy. On a movie set, it usually entails stopping poor pedestrians on the street from getting into a shot. Or halting traffic. Or getting everyone food. Or massaging aging actor's bunions. OR...well, there's no true description since, in essence, you are EVERYONE'S bitch. I recall a bunch of film school friends working on "Swordfish" that glorious crap shat out by Travolta and minions. They were on side streets stopping traffic so that they can hover over downtown Los Angeles with a bus attached to a helicopter. My friend said they had to halt traffic. One particular woman he stopped was begging to get by since her child needed their medication. I'm serious. This lady was stopped from medicating her child, so that a stunt could be performed. How do you explain this? How stupid is that? My film school bud quit the next day.

At a certain part in life, hopefully sooner than later, you develop a sense of self-worth. When you're young, you shouldn't have it. Even though punk kids these days feel entitled to everything, that is the best time when you should be taking these types of punches. Instead, we're talking about Larry Holmes post-Ali, going back into the ring. Which is fine. But don't say I didn't warn you.

To be perfectly honest, I've never been a P.A. I've worked in the middle, got to the upper-middle, then went back down to middle. And would say now, mid-middle. BUT I have treated and have seen treated P.A.'s with the type of behavior you wouldn't treat a dog. It's a terrible place to be. Woe be to you when they start paying you (minimum wage). Because when you work for free, everyone is kind. They throw you even a scrap of coin, you are now fair game.

Personally, my behavior to P.A.'s weren't as shitty as my contemporaries. They loved that empowerment, since half the time, they're being yelled at. So it all trickles down. For me, I'm usually too tired to acknowledge it. I remember one time a P.A. brought me lunch into a trailer where I was having a meeting. We were about a day behind in a boxing arena set. The director, me (cinematographer), 1st AD, producer and whomever else were just blabbing about how late it's been. And how we haven't even got off the first shot. I remember a plate being slid underneath me. And I just glared at the person. Everyone in the room sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher. I was so exhausted and angry I couldn't even eat In fact, I specifically told them NOT to bring me food (how stupid does that sound). Yet, here it was in front of my face. I'm 26 years old, mind you. The P.A. was roughly in their very low 20's. The anger poured through me. I just put my fist into the plate squashing what looked like potatoes and a half chicken. The P.A. was shocked. I wiped my hand off with the shot list. And push the plate away from me. For which she quickly removed.

Yeah, that's what to expect.

But...to my-co-workers benefit, and I wish him well...if you have the restitution to deal with shitbags who do shit like that (which I've abused this person in the past), then you will go far in this business. If you feel life is too short to deal with (what amounts to) really juvenile self-aggrandizing crap, in the small window of opportunity to move up in the business, then P.A. is for you.

There is a reason why no one from my film school (aside from myself) moved forward in the movie business.

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