Thanksgiving...sort of

This is a belated Thanksgiving blog, but I figure it’s a good time to maybe share my thoughts about the holiday push.

Thanksgiving is actually one of my favorite time of the year. I get to really whip up a tasty turkey and watch football until my eyes bleed gravy. It’s a great time. AND I have a tradition now where my two graduate school friends come over and we stuff our faces voraciously while talking smack about everyone from the ol’ days. Actually, we don’t really say much, because most of them have moved on to being married, having kids and well…living like adults. Not my friend Roxanne and Jen. I was wondering if either of them were wondering the same of me. How we leapt over adulthood and just…lived through others. Or just let that train pass and didn’t give it another thought. I wondered if it were rude to pry. Wondered even more if we even gave a damn. It’s a strange get together since none of us ever get together, UNLESS it’s Thanksgiving. And here’s the kicker…we’ve been doing this for the last 6 years. All in all, I can not tell you the details of their lives. But here we three were, sharing a meal and just enjoying the present company. Not sure what type of relationship you can classify this as, but it has a very bizarre tradition. And you know something…I wouldn’t have it any other way.

See, most people seem to dread their relatives. And the thought of having to entertain them causes a lot more stress than necessary. In my case, I really look forward to this tradition. We neither have a complete history, or don’t feel it necessary to continue a future one. It’s an unspoken thing now that once the food consumption is over, so is our communication. And any further contact. That is, until next year. Somehow…this seems so much better than the alternative. The in-laws, kids, uninvited guest come over and overstay their welcome. Someone gets drunk. Probably gropes a relative they’re not related to. And more than likely sticks some appendage in a soft food item. In which case, this is spread through history now. And these stories often start with “remember when uncle so-n-so stuck his schmeckle in the potatoes? God, how shitty was it to eat around that?!” It’s something that you live with for a very very long time. With Roxanne and Jen, no one in their close circle really know who I am and…no one in my limited relationships know who they are. It’s a really weird dial-a-family type scenario. And to be honest, one of the coolest arrangements I can imagine.

A few years back I recall reading why high stressed stockbrokers would hire hookers. These guys weren’t desperate for tail. They could probably get  married and have families. It was because the thought of introducing MORE responsibility into their lives sounded more fun than a chainsaw enema. Think about it…all the times these holidays made you MORE resentful for having to play by a set of rules set prior to the event. I remember as a teen being reprimanded by another friend for being late to dinner. To be fair, it was my fault. I brought a date that was (looking back) a real cunt. I mean she wasn’t consciously being a total cunt. But I was in so infatuated with her I basically wanted to impress her with my friend’s Thanksgiving shindig. So I drove ½ hour to the other side of town and waited as she readied herself at her home. All the while, not in the least bit rushing her, since she didn’t really give a flying shit about my itinerary. I was a throw rug under her feet. So, when I showed up late, my friend being rightfully drunk gave me such an earful. The door opened with “Where the hell have you been?” and ended with “I don’t fucking care who she is…” I really didn’t realize that I played a vital part in her festivities. Which I didn’t. It’s just the common courtesy that is involved in these matters. Anyways, this tongue lashing was done on the grand stage in front of the girl I was trying to impress. Which…goes without saying, but accomplished the opposite effect.

Anyway, if I were to be thankful for anything this year, it’s that I’m very thankful that I do have a set of friends who could give two shits about me and don’t require that I give a shit about them. AND, that there was wall to wall NFL on t.v. that day, so that drowned out the rest of the banal conversation most other families suffer with. My condolence goes out to all those who suffer the gene that forced you into wanting to be an adult. And give you high marks for not blowing out your brains.