Community Bans Together

He said it was the worse he’s ever seen, and he’s been in a Vietnamese POW camp!! The Admiral lived across from my old place in Van Nuys. Before my insane roommate scared my ass out. He isn’t as old and wizen as I had imagined, but without further ado…

I don’t have a clue as to why they return other than…

…they’ve now experienced loss. How? Because they’ve grown attached to my stolen car. Criminals are so fucking stupid it defies logic. I think they’re masterminds. They’re morons. These two on bikes stood exactly where my missing car was. To which my suspicious upstairs neighbor questioned the girl. The girl being IDENTIFIED by a neighbor, got right into his face and they started screaming at each other. To which he said, he wanted to backhand her. They started going into our compound. That’s when the owner of it, and landlord…the cheap shitbag that he is, started giving chase to the two on bikes. Even snapping a photo of them. Run off like vermin. I am genuinely surprised when people that young are so…brazen.

Anyway, so Larry, my upstairs neighbor comes down talk to me as I was cleaning up the car THEY vandalized and told me about chasing away two people. The girl of the two had juggled her story about being there. For one thing, she started saying how they were there to look for a place to rent. The second story was that they were looking for their stolen car. AH-HA!! I laughed. They my car and felt the sting of having come out of their home to a missing car. Can you believe audacity?! A few things. One, how did they not know I was home. And PISSED. Would these two tap dance the same story. As they know what I look like. Second, what is their thing with my piece of shit car? They gussied it up and fixed a few things. Yet, they ran it into some pole or something, denting it. Vandalized the interior with a Sharpie. Now they come riding up in bikes COMPLETELY convinced THEY were robbed. It’s unbelievable. The one thing that really ills me is that …they have an old driver’s license. This would lead them…into a maze. It’s hard to find where I use to live. So, it’s unlikely, but they will come across a father with two kids. He may be armed, he may not. I hope they find out the hard way.

That aside, I’d always thought they were gangbangers. Maybe they are. Hard to tell. But it also looked like a couple. A young Latino male and a fair skinned Latina OR white trash girl. Judging by the photo, she looked like a punk kid. Here I was thinking it was Russians. Or Armenians. What was odd…the radio was tuned to all Mexican channels. The CD holder I found had classic rock. Like Led Zeppelin and Jimi Hendrix. I kinda’ like these two. Wish they weren’t such punks. Why are these two determined to steal MY car?

So what now? Well, I’ve told the neighbors about their ability to skulk around our complex. I’ve “clubbed” my car and set the alarm. IF they decide to turn on the car, it’s going to be really obnoxious to neighbors. Particularly a formal admiral that is about 70 years old, a little kooky but extremely sicken by thieves. He has the best vantage to the parking structure. And has zero predilections to read young people the riot act. Maura is a neighbor whom I’ve shared this saga with ad nauseum. I’m not sure if she just tolerates me or genuinely enjoys the drama. Kevin, her husband is amused by it all. He and I are soul surfer like zen people. He is a great guitarist whom I’ve heard play. Effortless for him. They all live on the L.A. River side and have perked their senses to anything abnormal. LAPD, to their credit responds quickly to our calls. I know what you’re thinking, why not arm myself? For a under $1K car? I think the principle is what keeps me gunless. The other thing about our community I recently just found out how much I love? They are united in how much we hate crime. It’s amazing. Everyone has heard a few of my stories now. And they’re livid. Much more the Admiral, who has a factory fresh 1964 Mustang. It’s pearl blue, convertible. He’s shipped it out with him on every ride. It’s been with him to the Middle East, China and most of Europe. Wherever his ship has sailed, he told me it sat just below deck. Under the planes. To him, it’s simple “I just like doing nice things for good people.” Which means he hates criminals.

If you asked me why I lived in such a neighborhood that has so much shit happen to me, it’s these small moments of discovery that make it worthwhile. I’m absolutely relieved that I no longer have a faceless criminal in front of me. These two gambled and lost. Maybe they know that, maybe the don’t.

All I know is, it’s time for my baby to go out into the world. It’s done its duty. And very proud of the time we’ve had. Great memories.