The Acupuncturist Pt. 2

The suction cups latched to my skin and I heard the pumping noise of air. Skin sucked into the plastic bulbous container…at least I think it did. Then it stuck there as the pain shot to my brain. Like a titty twister on your neck. 30 seconds passed. She released a valve and air escaped, and the lip of the cups released with a pop.

I gotta say…it did wonders for the side of my face. The Russian acupuncturist seemed bemused by my dizzyness. Studying me like a leper victim. At arms length with random questions. I answered through a fog of haze. After having laid there for an hour with needles, this was the 2^nd stage of recovery.

She disappeared without a word. Which is when I exited the room and went to the front counter. Another Russian lady was there. They seemed to be roughly the same age. They were both speaking some language. The one who is my usual caretaker sat in the back doing something…looking at her phone or something.

The younger one piped up in a similar Russian accent “your neck, there is mark.”

I shrugged, I knew they were welts involved (like last time). “It’s cool.”

She seemed concerned “They will go away.” I smiled like a moron and nodded.

The one that performs the work stepped in “you have insurance through Kaiser?”

Yep, I thought, you took my paperwork. “it will be same price if you don’t have to use.”

I didn’t get it. What are they suggesting?

“We don’t need to go through Kaiser, it will be same price.” I must’ve still looked dumbfounded because they seemed frustrated I wasn’t “getting it.”

“You come and Natalia give you discount, no need for Kaiser.” I thought “why won’t she take the insurance.” They must’ve seen THAT look then finally “She give you half price no matter what, you don’t have to use insurance.”

OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhh. In other words, she just charges me my co-pay for the visit. I’m guessing even after the five visits I get. This got me thinking…

a)    does she like me and want to keep seeing me.

b)   does she pity me like a child and understands I’m more fucked up then they want to say.

c)    More visits; more money (most likely)

d)   All the above

e)    None of the above

What a nice lady.

I got into my driveway and the hot girl who lives down the street came walking up the walkway. I nodded and said my hello. She looked at me weird. Sort of smiled and carried on.

When I went to the bathroom I saw the welts on my neck. They are ugly muthas. Wide as a fist and purple and red. It looks like I had a pigment problem. Fuck it, I feel better. Russians just don’t fuck around.