This could mean a lot of things. Including the beginning of
the decline of Seagal’s career. Or the ONE fire in the movie. OR toxic waste, which is less below than on leveled ground. OR...redhead Marg Helgenberger's snatch. Who knows?!
I get the feeling this movie was done solely so he could
play his music (which isn’t all that bad, just…don’t do it in a movie). I also
feel most of the actors in this movie did it because of their love of the hills
of Kentucky.
Let’s count the corpses in the wake of this mess: Kris
Kristofferson, Marg Helgenberger, Randy Travis, Harry Dean Stanton, Stephen
Lang, Travis Tritt, argh…the names really hurt my ears. Because I know they’re
all better than this movie deserved. And here’s the funny part…this movie was
before it’s time
This is about Taggert (Steven Seagal) an EPA worker…or is
he…set to figure out what is poisoning the water in Appalachia Kentucky. Oh,
it’s a rich asshole, played by Kristofferson, who pays the townsfolk to look
the other direction. Sound familiar? Yep…Flint, Michigan. Timing is everything
folks. He runs across the rich asshole’s son, who is a weinie white boy who
looks more inbred than anything. The typical post-teen 90’s hair, surrounding
himself with tough hillbillies that give Seagal a hard time.
Seagal meets up with the town outcast Sarah, played by Marg
Helgenberger, a sort of Hester Prine to the good wholesome people. But she has
a darker secret (of course). Seagal gets a ton of brushback from the people.
But…the whole time, I’m thinking “what a buncha’ dumb bumpkins…you can’t spend
any rich asshole money if you’re dead from radioactivity.” The whole movie is a
child’s view of how toxic waste is stored. Apparently the process is similar to
old wives tales of storing them in barrels in the open. Millions of gallons of
lime green fluid, of course. Where the expert EPA Seagal can’t even locate. And
how do we show he’s an expert. By having him bear paw a few test tubes and
dipping them in water. Genius!
The saddest part about this movie is the wasted talent.
Harry Dean, I assume, did this project so he could play his music in the end
credits. Again, I really sense this is all about musicians who accidentally
made a movie. The logic is ridiculous to the extent of a moment when a cave
full of dead bodies are COMPLETELY ignored over the toxic cleanup that
happens…um…a few days after it is reported (no wonder I was stupid enough to
believe justice is swift). Apparently in this town in Kentucky, everything
happens within a few days, if not a few hours.
The story, and plot seems to be absolutely tacked on. Even
for the low expectations of a near millennial Seagal movie, you want just one
morsel of truth. I think he gets in his own way in this movie. I would bet you
anything the original script, written by Jeb Stuart, had subtle nuances of
small town in need of being saved from itself, turns into ow-you-broke-my-arm
scenarios whenever Seagal felt the story lagged. Yeah, that’s the point. This
movie was made for someone with more of a moral high ground. Say for example a
younger Clint Eastwood. He’s suppose to be a dark angry person, but a strong
conviction for right and wrong. All the noble lines coming out of Seagal seem
phony and forced. That pained look you see?...it’s his personal character
wincing at the phoniness. I don’t think it’s any surprise this was a Warner
Bros. movie. It seems Eastwood’s Malpaso must’ve passed and, at the time, the
next man up was Seagal. What a shame. I sense it would’ve been a movie they
brought back up in the wake of Flint (like “Erin Brockovich”). Instead of a
coda to Seagal’s imploded vanity project with a studio. So many good things
gone to waste.
No comments:
Post a Comment