Old Fucking Ladies

Maybe you can explain this conversation to me, as I was interrupted writing a new script.

I was sitting by the pool typing.
Lady: Excuse me, who are you? Do you live here?

I'd seen her before. She was the same woman who we spoke about bees (my car is peppered with dead bees every morning due to someone killing them somehow).
Me: Um..yeah. Over there, that's me (pointing to my car). We talked about bees for about 10 minutes.

Her face seemed to register something. What a dummy. She isn't old. Just a busy body whose mind is always trying to find something wrong with young guys. Anyway...that wasn't the conversation that has me perplexed, it's this one:

Lady: I thought you were the guy who lived upstairs from there.
Me: Oh, you mean the old guy.
Lady: (curt) No. He's not old. He's the guy with the gray hair.

Here's the sarcasm...WHAT THE FLYING FUCK YOU STUPID FUCKING LADY..."He's not old. He's the guy with the gray hair." She wasn't even listening to what she was saying.

And yes, I found every reason to let her off the hook. Short of telling her "Old guys have gray fucking hair, idiot!!" But that's not respectful. I just wanted to get back to writing. Which is when she took a seat and started yammering about...anything. She's one of those types that is hard of listening. She hears fine. CAN'T FUCKING LISTEN. She's not interested in what you're saying, only that it's a bounce board for her to continue telling you what she thinks. And nothing...I mean nothing derailed her. A simple correction of her facts sends these types of people in the stratosphere. I'm done engaging in any conversation.

I will end with this, she has this enormous fear of homeless weirdos hopping her fence and raping her or stealing her shit that she's (as I was told) installed an expensive security system. I told her about my theory. Let me repeat that THEORY, that the gang assholes who are in our neighborhood seems to respect our borders. That anyone fucking with us would have the heat come down on them hard. She shrugged what I said off and said "you don't have to worry, you're a young man, they won't mess with you." I would assume this is the purpose of her life. To pre-package her life into these convenient paranoid rants. I don't doubt there is a criminal element in our neighborhood. But, perhaps it's me being naive. It's clearly the only neighborhood where people actually seem to have jobs around that area. But it's pretty rare that I've gotten into anything with the criminal element. I really think they would rather not deal with the hassle. But...she's convinced otherwise. I bet she envies my stupidity as I envy her herb garden.