"Independence Day: Resurgence" (2016)

It’s bad. Really bad. There is not really a redeemable quality to this movie. It’s “Plan 9 From Outer Space” bad without the sincerity. Why? It costs way too much for this piece of shit.

Essentially, as I don’t want to waste your time, it’s a retread of the first movie. Except 20 years in the future. And the scientists used their weaponry to design weapons to combat future alien invasions. Great idea. Yeah…key word “idea” the massive issue with this movie is it wraps its brain around this clever thing, and then forgets all about it.

Who is to suffer through this? The old guard from 20 years ago. Which, they become this psychic thread to the alien abroad. Fuck, 20 years ago I was wallowing in mopey college life most likely obsessed with a girl who didn’t like me back. So I watched the Hell out of the original. The characters that do return are tired. And know it’s a paycheck. The new guard, are really bad. I mean…laughably stupid heroic lines that fall achingly flat. You want to cheer and someone throws a bucket of ice water on you. So what was it that made the original so iconic. For one thing, they blew the fuck out of world landmarks. To which they do joke about. For another, AND I’VE WRITTEN THIS ALREADY…pay attention now: 90’s suck fucking ass. Here’s proof. The original actually is not any better than this one. It has slightly more charismatic people, and the element of wonder. In this one, we don’t wonder about any of it. Alien invasion movies are done better. This one just seems to be by the numbers. Instant clichés, down to even the beacon that transmits distress call (um…”Alien”).

The one bright shining moment is Jeff Goldblum’s character. He is silly. And does his damndest with the material. Most likely ad libbed. Between him and Judd Hirsch, it makes it slightly above a snooze fest like “John Carter From Mars.” This movie offered zero reason to stand up and feel patriotic. It’s surprisingly heartbreaking how far this movie fell. But glad it vindicated my assessment of the 90’s. Man were we dumb.