Triangulation

I just learned of this term. It's terrible and have been doing it for years and not even knowing.

Years back when I was in college at Bowling Green State University, I worked at a mom and pop video store where a wife and husband owned it. They were divorced but still owned it together. There was friction that I never knew of. So, sometimes I'd inadvertently say things to the husband that I heard the wife say. For instance, that we couldn't put in movies that were rated "R" before 9PM. The smarter 22 year old would have been like "oh, who cares, let's just roll "PG" and under on the screens all the time. Who cares?" Instead, I went to the husband and told him the wife's rule.

This somehow caused friction between them for a while. The day I was fired from the job their reasoning was that I was attempting to pit them against each other. At first, there was no logical reason for this. I'd never been fired before. It was awful. Had so much resentment. Then, now as a 42 year old...I understand now. Triangulation is an attempt to get what you want by creating drama. You better believe hubby went back to wife and had it out. They were already hanging on by a thread in terms of good will. They didn't need no punk college kid to kick the whole thing down. Which is precisely what they thought I was doing. Which...it's their perspective. I didn't even know that was what I was doing.

It's a shitty person to be. And I find myself rounding up the troops again whenever I have a beef with someone. I despise this trait in me, and have no idea where it must come from. But...I will do my best not to do so in the future. It's not helpful and there are more fun things to do in life than to play war games.