I first met him on a short film we did, of the name of the movie we don't mention anymore. I recall laughing as when weapons were chosen by the gang to assert their random acts of bullying on our titular character, he chose the nunchuks. Why that was funny? The commitment to a bizarre gag. The bad motherfucker stood out. And he punches people in the dick too. That was what was so admirable. If you think about a low-level production that was made with a lot of passion (and by passion I mean reckless abandon) this was one he could've easily passed on. Not only did he participate as an actor, he got us a warehouse location. He didn't sit on the sidelines waiting for shit to happen.
A few years after that short, I did contact him out of the blue. And asked him to model for my portfolio as I had too many women and not too many men. He replied almost immediately that he would be interested and to let him know. This never came through because I was still on my alcoholic's bender whilst I imagine he was busy with home life. I vaguely recall a party in Hollywood sometime shortly thereafter the short movie we did.
When I finally did hear from him again, it wasn't from him. It was from a mutual friend who told me he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Those words fell like a dull thud. It wasn't possible. I got the story later on that many things had happened to get to that point. A group of us decided to pay him a visit.
Now the debate was whether or not to bring my motion picture film camera. I had some expired film and we were going up to a place that had a beach. I figured it would be the perfect time to film...something. Why not?
When we arrived, I saw a guy who wasn't the same guy I'd met back in the day. He was much thinner. But still...that James popped through. I didn't have many questions other than to actually...be happy to see an old friend. We talked briefly, before we decided to shoot a movie. Trepidation because we didn't know if he was well enough to do so. I gotta tell you...it has been one of the best times I've ever had on any movie set. And I'm not saying that just because of James. It was because we were alive...making movies. Making something. Together. It was cold and windy and...WINDY. But we barrelled through. And James knew everyone we happened to run into. Just like the ol' James who didn't make ugly people feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. When we wrapped, James and I were the last to finish the shot. I remember going back to his home and we sat there we hot tea. Just he and I. I could tell he was tired, and...well...this is the part that I tear up thinking about...he told me...that my life was worth something.
The philosopher James came out and we just talked about everything. Art, life, love, anger...everything. Somehow James always had a thought for you. And a thoughtful thought, not just a way to pass time. He could've easily dismissed my bullshit, OR shrugged me off as to how tired he was. He never did. I was there for well over an hour. And he listened to me whine about bullshit in my life. With a smile and a POSITIVE attitude, he clapped me on the back and we hugged and I thanked him profusely for his time. On my way home he texted me how grateful he was we all stopped by. THAT is James.
When I looked at the film we made today, it is a testament to who James will be to me, forever. He passes knowledge, and kindness. I showed this to a friend recently who has zero knowledge of any of us. Her response to me (after seeing all of my films) "I'm not sure why, but I watched "The Port" five times, and it's something about this one, but I don't know what."
I can tell you what, but it's our secret...It's James. He radiates the kindness and tranquility we all wish we have. This may sound trite as people come and go in your life, but...I am so blessed his good qualities are remembered in its entirety as a generous guy. And it sucks the good ones go so soon.
I miss you brother. And your support. And your words. And I am deeply sorry my bullshit got in the way of seeing you more.
In his words to me, you must embrace everything about life. The good and the bad. And live it to the fullest however you can.
To James.
"THE PORT"
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