I hung out with a friend yesterday who shared with me very deep pain about his adolescence. He retold a story about how when he was at a dance, a pretty girl had asked him to dance, and they did, only to be laughed at by his classmates. It was all a set-up. By someone he considered a friend. I recall a similar dance I attended as a middle schooler...and though didn't experience this level taunts, I still felt like an awful outcast.
People think childhood is your formative years. I agree. But adolescence truly shapes who you are, if it means a creative side that comes through. I asked him...if he felt he would be the prolific storyteller today had he not had all that emotional trauma. To my surprise, he admitted that he would prefer it be scaled back by half and he'd still retain the well of ideas to make movies. For a lot of people watching movies is an escape. A constant removal from the drudgery of life. To make movies is to play God. You can have the pretty girl fall for you. OR, can explain how when a girl causes you deep pain, you can go to the core reason as to why. You can shape truth to the masses or re-package it so that someone would not feel so alone.
So does pain equate to great art? Some artist thought so. Van Gogh cut off his ear in an emotional (drunken) plight over a woman. That is some serious emotional pain manifests itself as literally physical pain. Albeit to a prostitute (allegedly). A grand gesture perhaps of lust? Madness. Gotta love his art. Van Gogh committed suicide at 37.
I've not yet met an artist who didn't suffer deeply. A lot of art comes from the questions of life or the reflection of. I'm not saying great art must come from deep pain, but most are as a result of. Nor does it mean you must suffer to create great art. There's plenty of painters who simply do it to pass time. Or learn something new. Art is an expression of our past. A combination of who we more than likely want the public to see us as. Which means art must be shared. And if the pain is surface level and can generate healing, it's all the better.
Monday, July 31, 2017
Saturday, July 29, 2017
"The Villain" (1979) on 35mm
Simple enough title.
Directed by stuntman turned director turned Burt Reynold's goofy bar buddy, Hal Needham.
This movie, as mentioned by EVERYONE and their mothers, is a Wil E. Coyote cartoon come to life.
The story is of Cactus Jack played super goof-ball to the limit by Kirk Douglas. After he and his untrustworthy sidekick horse named Whisky attempt to rob a bank. They inadvertently blow up the bank which then lands him in jail. There he meets Avery Simpson, the corrupt bank owner played by the amazing character actor Jack Elam. Yes, cockeyed weirdo Jack Elam. That dude was born old and under a cactus.
Avery concocts a plan to stop the woman named Charming Jones, the daughter of his partner from taking money back to a deal. Not to be outdone, Charming's father hires a massive dullard in the form of Arnold Schwarzenegger as her hapless guardian to make sure the money is delivered. He is adequately named Handsome Stranger. Charming is played by the buxom cat in heat red Ann-Margret. And she is...unbelievably sexy here.
This movie is wild and crazy. And you get the sense this prefaced Hal's star studded "Cannonball Run!"Everyone is game for the wild and hilarious send up of westerns. But there is no social commentary like in "Blazin' Saddles." "The Villain" is Good vs. Bad for the love of the damsel. And it delivers with loose fun. It is VERY similar to every Needham movie, which loves just to entertain and nothing more. Schwarzenegger is actually at his comedic best here. He is, as his name indicates, a stranger in a strange land and a boy scout. He is such a virginal character, when Charming attempts to seduce him, she has to practically rape him. Because he such the good guy. It is a fun movie full of what appears to be friends just making a movie.
It's worth a look on a slow night. Fun stuff!
Directed by stuntman turned director turned Burt Reynold's goofy bar buddy, Hal Needham.
This movie, as mentioned by EVERYONE and their mothers, is a Wil E. Coyote cartoon come to life.
The story is of Cactus Jack played super goof-ball to the limit by Kirk Douglas. After he and his untrustworthy sidekick horse named Whisky attempt to rob a bank. They inadvertently blow up the bank which then lands him in jail. There he meets Avery Simpson, the corrupt bank owner played by the amazing character actor Jack Elam. Yes, cockeyed weirdo Jack Elam. That dude was born old and under a cactus.
Avery concocts a plan to stop the woman named Charming Jones, the daughter of his partner from taking money back to a deal. Not to be outdone, Charming's father hires a massive dullard in the form of Arnold Schwarzenegger as her hapless guardian to make sure the money is delivered. He is adequately named Handsome Stranger. Charming is played by the buxom cat in heat red Ann-Margret. And she is...unbelievably sexy here.
This movie is wild and crazy. And you get the sense this prefaced Hal's star studded "Cannonball Run!"Everyone is game for the wild and hilarious send up of westerns. But there is no social commentary like in "Blazin' Saddles." "The Villain" is Good vs. Bad for the love of the damsel. And it delivers with loose fun. It is VERY similar to every Needham movie, which loves just to entertain and nothing more. Schwarzenegger is actually at his comedic best here. He is, as his name indicates, a stranger in a strange land and a boy scout. He is such a virginal character, when Charming attempts to seduce him, she has to practically rape him. Because he such the good guy. It is a fun movie full of what appears to be friends just making a movie.
It's worth a look on a slow night. Fun stuff!
"The Last House On The Left" (1972) on 35mm Film
Director Wes Craven's leap into psycho gang violence which appears to draw its bones from a movie like "Straw Dogs" rather than "Psycho." He's saddled with Sean Cunningham (of "Friday The 13th" fame 9 years later) as producer
Two girls venture out into the woods and run into a gang of violent, disturbed convicts. 3 guys and girl. They are goofy at first, but soon we see how dark the tone turns when they have to do the unthinkable. Which is cover their tracks. Unfortunately for them, in attempting to further their crime spree they hole up into a home which takes a turn for the worse for them.
This movie...I'm sure in 1972 must've been groundbreaking. In terms of how far they were willing to go. The gruesome crimes unravel (clumsily) into a revenge plot that turns. And the fact that they fugitives are so...normal. Like they could be anyone. And they don't act like criminals until they have to do awful criminal things. The worse of it...it was so random. Two girls having fun in the woods, then stumble onto awful things.
I get why this was a hit back in the day. After the Vietnam era violence and protests, this seemed like a response to rampant random crime. This movie reminds us again what we could be capable of if survival and revenge became our focus in life.
Though outdated in its performances (they're really bad) and blocking, this still has moments of effectiveness, particularly the spin of tone. There's also the bumbling police officers which Craven brings back in the "Scream" series.
It's not even close to the gruesome gore you see today. But the raw nature of its violence, I can see some of it still being incredibly disturbing.
A cool watch.
Two girls venture out into the woods and run into a gang of violent, disturbed convicts. 3 guys and girl. They are goofy at first, but soon we see how dark the tone turns when they have to do the unthinkable. Which is cover their tracks. Unfortunately for them, in attempting to further their crime spree they hole up into a home which takes a turn for the worse for them.
This movie...I'm sure in 1972 must've been groundbreaking. In terms of how far they were willing to go. The gruesome crimes unravel (clumsily) into a revenge plot that turns. And the fact that they fugitives are so...normal. Like they could be anyone. And they don't act like criminals until they have to do awful criminal things. The worse of it...it was so random. Two girls having fun in the woods, then stumble onto awful things.
I get why this was a hit back in the day. After the Vietnam era violence and protests, this seemed like a response to rampant random crime. This movie reminds us again what we could be capable of if survival and revenge became our focus in life.
Though outdated in its performances (they're really bad) and blocking, this still has moments of effectiveness, particularly the spin of tone. There's also the bumbling police officers which Craven brings back in the "Scream" series.
It's not even close to the gruesome gore you see today. But the raw nature of its violence, I can see some of it still being incredibly disturbing.
A cool watch.
"Maniac" (1980) on 35mm Film
I was hellbent on wanting to blast the shit out this movie. As in...tell you what an irresponsible piece of garbage it is. BUT...it's not. It's actually art.
As I was listening in on the subpar emcee at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, he couldn't glow enough at the artistry of director William Lustig. Did he set out to make art? Fuck no. BUT...he reminded you what an artist MUST do to make art, and that is to just make it.
"Maniac" is about a man who suffers from mental delusional, most likely schizophrenic, maniac (see what I did there) monster who murders mostly women and uses their scalps as a way to collect them. You're not necessarily clear on his motive, but a lot has to do with mother issues. The sweaty bloated, pocked marked Joe Spinell is plays Frank Zito, the monster in question.
Frank doesn't have a job to speak of, but he goes out nightly to hunt. His need to feed an abandonment issue from what seems like an overbearing mother overwhelms him into becoming many characters in order to gain their trust, then murder.
His crimes are gruesome, in that they are so random. And this was what gripped New York City in the 1970's. As Mr. Lustig mentioned during the Q&A...most of the fun serial killers are gone now. As are most of the fun serial killer movies.
To be honest, this is NOT a fun movie. It's a mood atmosphere movie that I enjoyed upon reflection. A lot owes it's creepy quality to this film. Even a title as beloved as "Silence Of The Lambs" as you cannot reason with a psychopath. The "art" in question are the long lingering shots (which I'm convinced was used to elongate a thin plot to fill feature space). It is a time capsule of New York City of that time, which it seems a LOT of people miss. Because of the sleaze, and mystery.
Watching with this audience, seemed...odd to me. There were a lot of young people who seemed to have a love for cinema but know very little of its history. It filled me with hope that they may seek more of this cinema out. The crappy film stock and lighting to which this was made is completely part of the mood clean digital cinema can never replicate. A lot of digital hounds would sneer that they wouldn't want to make it look that crappy. WRONG. It is the emotion you draw from the low budget look. It has its own value which is thrown away if you even attempt to emulate in some science lab. And the kids are responding.
As I was listening in on the subpar emcee at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, he couldn't glow enough at the artistry of director William Lustig. Did he set out to make art? Fuck no. BUT...he reminded you what an artist MUST do to make art, and that is to just make it.
"Maniac" is about a man who suffers from mental delusional, most likely schizophrenic, maniac (see what I did there) monster who murders mostly women and uses their scalps as a way to collect them. You're not necessarily clear on his motive, but a lot has to do with mother issues. The sweaty bloated, pocked marked Joe Spinell is plays Frank Zito, the monster in question.
Frank doesn't have a job to speak of, but he goes out nightly to hunt. His need to feed an abandonment issue from what seems like an overbearing mother overwhelms him into becoming many characters in order to gain their trust, then murder.
His crimes are gruesome, in that they are so random. And this was what gripped New York City in the 1970's. As Mr. Lustig mentioned during the Q&A...most of the fun serial killers are gone now. As are most of the fun serial killer movies.
To be honest, this is NOT a fun movie. It's a mood atmosphere movie that I enjoyed upon reflection. A lot owes it's creepy quality to this film. Even a title as beloved as "Silence Of The Lambs" as you cannot reason with a psychopath. The "art" in question are the long lingering shots (which I'm convinced was used to elongate a thin plot to fill feature space). It is a time capsule of New York City of that time, which it seems a LOT of people miss. Because of the sleaze, and mystery.
Watching with this audience, seemed...odd to me. There were a lot of young people who seemed to have a love for cinema but know very little of its history. It filled me with hope that they may seek more of this cinema out. The crappy film stock and lighting to which this was made is completely part of the mood clean digital cinema can never replicate. A lot of digital hounds would sneer that they wouldn't want to make it look that crappy. WRONG. It is the emotion you draw from the low budget look. It has its own value which is thrown away if you even attempt to emulate in some science lab. And the kids are responding.
Friday, July 28, 2017
My Friend James
Yes, I do call him a friend as I've not yet met anyone who IMMEDIATELY was chummy with you who was so fucking handsome as he and had ZERO airs.
I first met him on a short film we did, of the name of the movie we don't mention anymore. I recall laughing as when weapons were chosen by the gang to assert their random acts of bullying on our titular character, he chose the nunchuks. Why that was funny? The commitment to a bizarre gag. The bad motherfucker stood out. And he punches people in the dick too. That was what was so admirable. If you think about a low-level production that was made with a lot of passion (and by passion I mean reckless abandon) this was one he could've easily passed on. Not only did he participate as an actor, he got us a warehouse location. He didn't sit on the sidelines waiting for shit to happen.
A few years after that short, I did contact him out of the blue. And asked him to model for my portfolio as I had too many women and not too many men. He replied almost immediately that he would be interested and to let him know. This never came through because I was still on my alcoholic's bender whilst I imagine he was busy with home life. I vaguely recall a party in Hollywood sometime shortly thereafter the short movie we did.
When I finally did hear from him again, it wasn't from him. It was from a mutual friend who told me he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Those words fell like a dull thud. It wasn't possible. I got the story later on that many things had happened to get to that point. A group of us decided to pay him a visit.
Now the debate was whether or not to bring my motion picture film camera. I had some expired film and we were going up to a place that had a beach. I figured it would be the perfect time to film...something. Why not?
When we arrived, I saw a guy who wasn't the same guy I'd met back in the day. He was much thinner. But still...that James popped through. I didn't have many questions other than to actually...be happy to see an old friend. We talked briefly, before we decided to shoot a movie. Trepidation because we didn't know if he was well enough to do so. I gotta tell you...it has been one of the best times I've ever had on any movie set. And I'm not saying that just because of James. It was because we were alive...making movies. Making something. Together. It was cold and windy and...WINDY. But we barrelled through. And James knew everyone we happened to run into. Just like the ol' James who didn't make ugly people feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. When we wrapped, James and I were the last to finish the shot. I remember going back to his home and we sat there we hot tea. Just he and I. I could tell he was tired, and...well...this is the part that I tear up thinking about...he told me...that my life was worth something.
The philosopher James came out and we just talked about everything. Art, life, love, anger...everything. Somehow James always had a thought for you. And a thoughtful thought, not just a way to pass time. He could've easily dismissed my bullshit, OR shrugged me off as to how tired he was. He never did. I was there for well over an hour. And he listened to me whine about bullshit in my life. With a smile and a POSITIVE attitude, he clapped me on the back and we hugged and I thanked him profusely for his time. On my way home he texted me how grateful he was we all stopped by. THAT is James.
When I looked at the film we made today, it is a testament to who James will be to me, forever. He passes knowledge, and kindness. I showed this to a friend recently who has zero knowledge of any of us. Her response to me (after seeing all of my films) "I'm not sure why, but I watched "The Port" five times, and it's something about this one, but I don't know what."
I can tell you what, but it's our secret...It's James. He radiates the kindness and tranquility we all wish we have. This may sound trite as people come and go in your life, but...I am so blessed his good qualities are remembered in its entirety as a generous guy. And it sucks the good ones go so soon.
I miss you brother. And your support. And your words. And I am deeply sorry my bullshit got in the way of seeing you more.
In his words to me, you must embrace everything about life. The good and the bad. And live it to the fullest however you can.
To James.
"THE PORT"
I first met him on a short film we did, of the name of the movie we don't mention anymore. I recall laughing as when weapons were chosen by the gang to assert their random acts of bullying on our titular character, he chose the nunchuks. Why that was funny? The commitment to a bizarre gag. The bad motherfucker stood out. And he punches people in the dick too. That was what was so admirable. If you think about a low-level production that was made with a lot of passion (and by passion I mean reckless abandon) this was one he could've easily passed on. Not only did he participate as an actor, he got us a warehouse location. He didn't sit on the sidelines waiting for shit to happen.
A few years after that short, I did contact him out of the blue. And asked him to model for my portfolio as I had too many women and not too many men. He replied almost immediately that he would be interested and to let him know. This never came through because I was still on my alcoholic's bender whilst I imagine he was busy with home life. I vaguely recall a party in Hollywood sometime shortly thereafter the short movie we did.
When I finally did hear from him again, it wasn't from him. It was from a mutual friend who told me he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Those words fell like a dull thud. It wasn't possible. I got the story later on that many things had happened to get to that point. A group of us decided to pay him a visit.
Now the debate was whether or not to bring my motion picture film camera. I had some expired film and we were going up to a place that had a beach. I figured it would be the perfect time to film...something. Why not?
When we arrived, I saw a guy who wasn't the same guy I'd met back in the day. He was much thinner. But still...that James popped through. I didn't have many questions other than to actually...be happy to see an old friend. We talked briefly, before we decided to shoot a movie. Trepidation because we didn't know if he was well enough to do so. I gotta tell you...it has been one of the best times I've ever had on any movie set. And I'm not saying that just because of James. It was because we were alive...making movies. Making something. Together. It was cold and windy and...WINDY. But we barrelled through. And James knew everyone we happened to run into. Just like the ol' James who didn't make ugly people feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. When we wrapped, James and I were the last to finish the shot. I remember going back to his home and we sat there we hot tea. Just he and I. I could tell he was tired, and...well...this is the part that I tear up thinking about...he told me...that my life was worth something.
The philosopher James came out and we just talked about everything. Art, life, love, anger...everything. Somehow James always had a thought for you. And a thoughtful thought, not just a way to pass time. He could've easily dismissed my bullshit, OR shrugged me off as to how tired he was. He never did. I was there for well over an hour. And he listened to me whine about bullshit in my life. With a smile and a POSITIVE attitude, he clapped me on the back and we hugged and I thanked him profusely for his time. On my way home he texted me how grateful he was we all stopped by. THAT is James.
When I looked at the film we made today, it is a testament to who James will be to me, forever. He passes knowledge, and kindness. I showed this to a friend recently who has zero knowledge of any of us. Her response to me (after seeing all of my films) "I'm not sure why, but I watched "The Port" five times, and it's something about this one, but I don't know what."
I can tell you what, but it's our secret...It's James. He radiates the kindness and tranquility we all wish we have. This may sound trite as people come and go in your life, but...I am so blessed his good qualities are remembered in its entirety as a generous guy. And it sucks the good ones go so soon.
I miss you brother. And your support. And your words. And I am deeply sorry my bullshit got in the way of seeing you more.
In his words to me, you must embrace everything about life. The good and the bad. And live it to the fullest however you can.
To James.
"THE PORT"
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Transgenders In Military
President Trump put a kibbosh on transgenders being able to serve. I think he thinks it's like the G.I. Bill. Where people will join just to get a free sex change. Dude, if it mean being blown up with an I.E.D. in fucking Shit-ville Middle East, GIVE IT TO THEM. Why in God's name would you ban anyone from joining the military? Other than this is to obviously piss off former president Obama who said transgenders can serve. Again, why is this even a topic of discussion? The United States should want all able bodies. Confused or not (yeah, I'll throw that in there for the cheap seats). And I like that transgenders are in the military, because...well, who better to put in harm's way.
It goes back to what I was laughing about when in the wars, they barred minorities. Yeah, how stupid is not allowing people whom you discriminate against fight a war where they could be fodder. And yes, I understand that sounds cowardly...as is shitting in a funnel when your lower abdomen is blown away by shrapnel. Clearly, this is Trump fucking with the people who supported EVERY single whiny objective of Obama's lackluster time in office. And the result, is a one term joke of president, who will be an odd conversation piece to our children's children's children.
Hopefully.
It goes back to what I was laughing about when in the wars, they barred minorities. Yeah, how stupid is not allowing people whom you discriminate against fight a war where they could be fodder. And yes, I understand that sounds cowardly...as is shitting in a funnel when your lower abdomen is blown away by shrapnel. Clearly, this is Trump fucking with the people who supported EVERY single whiny objective of Obama's lackluster time in office. And the result, is a one term joke of president, who will be an odd conversation piece to our children's children's children.
Hopefully.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Stupid Kid
The guy isn't even a kid. 37 years old. And I gotta belittle him.
The issue is, he lacks manners. Comes into my room and uses expensive lens cleaner to clean his watch.
I've told him repeatedly not to do so and that my cleaner was reserved for the machines. He continues.
"Are you deaf or are you stupid?"
Silence. "ARE YOU DEAF OR ARE YOU STUPID?!"
Finally "neither."
"Then why hasn't it sunk in that I told you repeatedly NOT to use lens cleaner to clean your shit?"
"Sorry, I thought you were joking."
Because I had been joking the other 20 times.
Yes folks, the world is right here in beautiful technicolor and smart as a whip. Where you are constantly ignored or marginalized until you have to drop and anvil on retards like this. It escalated to "Why do I have to get to this point?"
"You don't have to."
"We're there. Try to listen and process information. So it doesn't get to this point."
Why does everyone think I'm joking?
The issue is, he lacks manners. Comes into my room and uses expensive lens cleaner to clean his watch.
I've told him repeatedly not to do so and that my cleaner was reserved for the machines. He continues.
"Are you deaf or are you stupid?"
Silence. "ARE YOU DEAF OR ARE YOU STUPID?!"
Finally "neither."
"Then why hasn't it sunk in that I told you repeatedly NOT to use lens cleaner to clean your shit?"
"Sorry, I thought you were joking."
Because I had been joking the other 20 times.
Yes folks, the world is right here in beautiful technicolor and smart as a whip. Where you are constantly ignored or marginalized until you have to drop and anvil on retards like this. It escalated to "Why do I have to get to this point?"
"You don't have to."
"We're there. Try to listen and process information. So it doesn't get to this point."
Why does everyone think I'm joking?
The Critic
You ever hear that "everyone is a critic"?
Yep, rough, especially if people don't know where you're coming from. They shouldn't either. Because as an artist your art needs to speak for itself. And if it's an agenda you're tackling, people will be unkind. Not because they're jerks. Because they're opinionated jerks.
Art is so subjective. A lot of this is because everyone has a truth they hold to themselves as what is art. No one knows. Even I think I know. But I don't. I just make what I can and hope for the best.
But the minute you add in tropes. For instance, child abuse, elderly abuse, alcoholism...now you've tacked on something people can grasp onto. The truth for them. For instance, if it were about alcohol, I'd think I were the expert. A million experts chiming in on it. All with a valid opinion. None with a modicum of skill to do what is already done. And that is the aggravation of art.
Yep, rough, especially if people don't know where you're coming from. They shouldn't either. Because as an artist your art needs to speak for itself. And if it's an agenda you're tackling, people will be unkind. Not because they're jerks. Because they're opinionated jerks.
Art is so subjective. A lot of this is because everyone has a truth they hold to themselves as what is art. No one knows. Even I think I know. But I don't. I just make what I can and hope for the best.
But the minute you add in tropes. For instance, child abuse, elderly abuse, alcoholism...now you've tacked on something people can grasp onto. The truth for them. For instance, if it were about alcohol, I'd think I were the expert. A million experts chiming in on it. All with a valid opinion. None with a modicum of skill to do what is already done. And that is the aggravation of art.
Monday, July 24, 2017
The Great Support
Filmmaking is...it needs support. People who will root you on, even if it's from afar.
I recall the times when I had a girlfriend where they would watch the crap I made. Maybe I should stop calling it "crap." But they would sit through it and...really be supportive. It was a warm feeling I hope everyone gets to feel who are insecure about their art. In whatever capacity. Because it is brutal between the lines.
The lines that you don't see. The people who spend days mocking your efforts...behind your back. Which is what I constantly hear. Though there are some TERRIBLE films that I have seen, as I get more and more invested in my own projects monetarily, it is nice to have someone believe in what you do. Because no one does. In life. Really. Only people who care about you and want to be cared back.
Approval isn't something we need to seek. At least I hope you don't. BUT, it's also good to hear it though. Because when you're at bat, you want to know people have faith in you. Or that they instill the confidence you would need to hit the ball. Then we all win.
I recall the times when I had a girlfriend where they would watch the crap I made. Maybe I should stop calling it "crap." But they would sit through it and...really be supportive. It was a warm feeling I hope everyone gets to feel who are insecure about their art. In whatever capacity. Because it is brutal between the lines.
The lines that you don't see. The people who spend days mocking your efforts...behind your back. Which is what I constantly hear. Though there are some TERRIBLE films that I have seen, as I get more and more invested in my own projects monetarily, it is nice to have someone believe in what you do. Because no one does. In life. Really. Only people who care about you and want to be cared back.
Approval isn't something we need to seek. At least I hope you don't. BUT, it's also good to hear it though. Because when you're at bat, you want to know people have faith in you. Or that they instill the confidence you would need to hit the ball. Then we all win.
The Turkish Model
I met her on a dating site. She had an interesting look, and I could see the Middle Eastern facial structure. A bold, regal look.
It's strange that she was very young, very reserved and somewhat immature. Only in a tone where you're not really sure whether they can process ups and downs like maybe the animated way I present myself. It was a dating site for which I reached out.
The session was actually really really fun. She brought a friend who helped out, and was really a fun person. They aren't conversation starters, but they sure like to get excited about...America.
Yes, our America. Trump's America. The America where everyone who hates the new regime wants to leave. Meanwhile, these lovely gals are desperate to stay. And work. And have fun. It reminded me of the two neighbors I had in Sherman Oaks. One was from Scotland, the other from Australia. Scotland girl LOVED LOVED LOVED America. In fact, she's visiting the East Coast. She once told me her dream is to take a road trip from Memphis (Elvis) to Los Angeles. To see all of America. This is trip I took to get out here. It was really endearing how people "out there" still find America that wide open spaces. With great sun and great people.
These are the people who renew my faith that this country is great. Not social justice warriors who see the worst of it.
It's strange that she was very young, very reserved and somewhat immature. Only in a tone where you're not really sure whether they can process ups and downs like maybe the animated way I present myself. It was a dating site for which I reached out.
The session was actually really really fun. She brought a friend who helped out, and was really a fun person. They aren't conversation starters, but they sure like to get excited about...America.
Yes, our America. Trump's America. The America where everyone who hates the new regime wants to leave. Meanwhile, these lovely gals are desperate to stay. And work. And have fun. It reminded me of the two neighbors I had in Sherman Oaks. One was from Scotland, the other from Australia. Scotland girl LOVED LOVED LOVED America. In fact, she's visiting the East Coast. She once told me her dream is to take a road trip from Memphis (Elvis) to Los Angeles. To see all of America. This is trip I took to get out here. It was really endearing how people "out there" still find America that wide open spaces. With great sun and great people.
These are the people who renew my faith that this country is great. Not social justice warriors who see the worst of it.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
California Governor Jerry Brown
This guy is an absolute turd fucking loser idiot moron.
He uses words like "crisis" to shock this state to action. Guess who created this "crisis?"
Leftist idiots who ran it off the Malibu cliff.
So what is their new solution to things like...jacking up rent or...$15 billion tunnel system? Gotta raise gas prices. As this whole fucking town went electric. Yep, genius at work. The fox is guarding the hen house.
Okay, so do I have a solution? For one thing, admit you aren't as altruistic as you would believe. This is straight up pandering to immigrants. That create construction jobs...whose funds are filtered through...taxpayers. How are Californians NOT more angry? Guess who's coming in next? Good ol' Gavin Newsome who says some businesses target minorities. Like check cashing places. As if banks didn't exist. They target EVERYONE who has some green, stupid. Your statement is just...pandering to the people who use those places and realize they are over their heads. They vote for you to shut down more businesses. Predatory? Yes. A business...yes. Guess what a business does if people DON'T go through them? Guess what you closing a business does. Is this guy really retarded or something? By the way, Gavin Newsome come from a rich family. Next, he will change his name to Gavin Newsome-Garcia. Piece of shit. I hope he gets raped (yes, I've never said that about anyone). Because he isn't for the brown person at all. He's the worse, insidiously ugly person who wants you to think he works for the poor.
Hey shitheads...here's another thing...ever since the minimum wage hike, guess who stopped going to places that indicated so? Places like the Laemmle theater had to raise their prices to offset it. They will go out of business soon (as they were already on fumes). Nice going. The "art house" neighborhoods are going to find out real quick whether or not they still support that. Minimum wage hike is NOT a bad thing, let me be clear, it's the concept of making an entry level job a career. And it's not going to happen. You can't build a career on a business that has to close up shop because they can't support the hike. Get it?
He uses words like "crisis" to shock this state to action. Guess who created this "crisis?"
Leftist idiots who ran it off the Malibu cliff.
So what is their new solution to things like...jacking up rent or...$15 billion tunnel system? Gotta raise gas prices. As this whole fucking town went electric. Yep, genius at work. The fox is guarding the hen house.
Okay, so do I have a solution? For one thing, admit you aren't as altruistic as you would believe. This is straight up pandering to immigrants. That create construction jobs...whose funds are filtered through...taxpayers. How are Californians NOT more angry? Guess who's coming in next? Good ol' Gavin Newsome who says some businesses target minorities. Like check cashing places. As if banks didn't exist. They target EVERYONE who has some green, stupid. Your statement is just...pandering to the people who use those places and realize they are over their heads. They vote for you to shut down more businesses. Predatory? Yes. A business...yes. Guess what a business does if people DON'T go through them? Guess what you closing a business does. Is this guy really retarded or something? By the way, Gavin Newsome come from a rich family. Next, he will change his name to Gavin Newsome-Garcia. Piece of shit. I hope he gets raped (yes, I've never said that about anyone). Because he isn't for the brown person at all. He's the worse, insidiously ugly person who wants you to think he works for the poor.
Hey shitheads...here's another thing...ever since the minimum wage hike, guess who stopped going to places that indicated so? Places like the Laemmle theater had to raise their prices to offset it. They will go out of business soon (as they were already on fumes). Nice going. The "art house" neighborhoods are going to find out real quick whether or not they still support that. Minimum wage hike is NOT a bad thing, let me be clear, it's the concept of making an entry level job a career. And it's not going to happen. You can't build a career on a business that has to close up shop because they can't support the hike. Get it?
John G. Avildsen R.I.P.
I am an idiot for not mentioning the passing of someone I've respected for so long.
He is the director of some of my favorite films of all time "The Karate Kid" and "Rocky." Funny how he and John Badham got mixed up for one another back in the day (at least I kept mixing them up), Maybe because the used the same cinematographers.
At any rate, I recall watching "The Karate Kid" over a hundred times on VHS. The movie still is quaint, despite the recent trashing of the 80's content. And the fact that Ralph Macchio wasn't a kid at all. The one thing you can see in the supplemental material is how much Avildsen cared. He videotaped EVERYTHING before he filmed it. Essentially filming it twice. This tough New Yorker was no slack. NOR was he an asshole. Listening to the commentary, you also sense he was a wise-cracking catch you off guard type. Which his zany truths and ability to see things for what they are is an endearing quality. Little did I know the turmoil which were some projects he had either left, developed and left or plain fired. Or was that John Badham?
His commitment to cinema is inspiring, as he was a true story teller. And loved the people he worked with (as indicative of his commentary.
I wish he made more movies.
He is the director of some of my favorite films of all time "The Karate Kid" and "Rocky." Funny how he and John Badham got mixed up for one another back in the day (at least I kept mixing them up), Maybe because the used the same cinematographers.
At any rate, I recall watching "The Karate Kid" over a hundred times on VHS. The movie still is quaint, despite the recent trashing of the 80's content. And the fact that Ralph Macchio wasn't a kid at all. The one thing you can see in the supplemental material is how much Avildsen cared. He videotaped EVERYTHING before he filmed it. Essentially filming it twice. This tough New Yorker was no slack. NOR was he an asshole. Listening to the commentary, you also sense he was a wise-cracking catch you off guard type. Which his zany truths and ability to see things for what they are is an endearing quality. Little did I know the turmoil which were some projects he had either left, developed and left or plain fired. Or was that John Badham?
His commitment to cinema is inspiring, as he was a true story teller. And loved the people he worked with (as indicative of his commentary.
I wish he made more movies.
John Heard R.I.P.
It was SO odd when I listened to John Heard's interview on Illeana Douglas's podcast (which again, FOR ACTORS, yes YOU...listen...to "I Blame Dennis Hopper" podcast, YOU WILL HEAR GREAT INSIDE SCOOP about this business). Weird that all he wanted to do was to act. Already having had massively successful career, Heard wasn't a Hollywood guy. In fact, he mentions how much he HATED Los Angeles (sound familiar) and wanted to go back to real acting on stage. Man, do I admire him. Because he cared about craft. And he is salty. Like I imagine all the actors of his generation are from the Actor's Studio. Yes, THAT one.
It probably pained him to play Peter McAllister of "Home Alone" fame that he was relegated to high concept roles. Not that it didn't pay the bills, but I get the sense movies like these and "Big" and others seemed to be his bread and butter. Which is not a bad sandwich to have. But I think it's something I've sort of said a few times, money and fame won't buy you what's ultimately missing in your life. The sense you touched people directly with your art. It also seemed as if he were haunted. There are many stories he speaks of raw drinking binges. Which, as a person who over-analyzes, you can sense that pain. Addiction is a real thing. And as he lived a full life, you probably understand that he's lived longer than his life (explained by him) should have gone. A reckless life. A rock star life in a tweed jacket.
John Heard is THAT guy. His face is recognizable by being so...innocuous. He could be mistaken for a lot of American men. And his career...well, he remained very very grateful to the end.
It probably pained him to play Peter McAllister of "Home Alone" fame that he was relegated to high concept roles. Not that it didn't pay the bills, but I get the sense movies like these and "Big" and others seemed to be his bread and butter. Which is not a bad sandwich to have. But I think it's something I've sort of said a few times, money and fame won't buy you what's ultimately missing in your life. The sense you touched people directly with your art. It also seemed as if he were haunted. There are many stories he speaks of raw drinking binges. Which, as a person who over-analyzes, you can sense that pain. Addiction is a real thing. And as he lived a full life, you probably understand that he's lived longer than his life (explained by him) should have gone. A reckless life. A rock star life in a tweed jacket.
John Heard is THAT guy. His face is recognizable by being so...innocuous. He could be mistaken for a lot of American men. And his career...well, he remained very very grateful to the end.
Friday, July 21, 2017
Minnesota Police Chief Resigns
Lesbian/Native American/token Minnesota Leftist garbage...
...let's face it, this is the DIRECT recipe for someone who has a chip on their shoulder, hates their father and desperately needs to show how "progressive" blonde WASPY Minnesota can be. Here is the problem:
"Minneapolis police Chief Janee Harteau resigned Friday at the request of the mayor, who said she lost confidence in the chief after last weekend's fatal police shooting of an unarmed Australian woman who had called 911.
...let's face it, this is the DIRECT recipe for someone who has a chip on their shoulder, hates their father and desperately needs to show how "progressive" blonde WASPY Minnesota can be. Here is the problem:
"Minneapolis police Chief Janee Harteau resigned Friday at the request of the mayor, who said she lost confidence in the chief after last weekend's fatal police shooting of an unarmed Australian woman who had called 911.
In
a statement released Friday, Harteau said: "I've decided I am willing
to step aside to let a fresh set of leadership eyes see what more can be
done for the MPD to be the very best it can be."
Mayor Betsy Hodges said she asked for the chief's resignation.
"I've
lost confidence in the Chief's ability to lead us further ... it is
clear that she has lost the confidence of the people of Minneapolis as
well," Hodges said. "For us to continue to transform policing — and
community trust in policing — we need new leadership at MPD."
SO their experiment resulted in the death of a tourist. Shot dead by a Somali-American Mohammed Noor. Why do I mention the Somali-American part? Because every single fucking time Yahoo mentions cops killing civilians they always bring up color.
My theory still holds true...cops aren't just killing Blacks and Mexicans. They're killing anyone who's dumb enough to call them. I got called on one time by a psychotic roommate. After assessing the fact that she was out of her mind and had a history of false accusations, their advice? "sleep with a knife and move out as fast as possible." Thanks pigs. Also, who the fuck do you usually shoot when a brown skin guy wields a knife against a blonde woman? Crazy or not, they're shooting me.
So fuck Minneapolis, you shit-brained idiots will be too stubborn to conclude your stupid ass super-Leftist stance is failing...bad.
The Drowning Man
Two teenage boys watched a mentally challenged man walk into a lake and proceed to drown, while they recorded it and then posted on social media.
The public wants to know how teenagers can be this cruel. I'm wondering why it doesn't happen more.
These kids today...lack a serious sense of empathy. Not just these kids but...kids in general. It's true that they didn't need to help the guy, but to slowly watch a man gulp in water as he slowly died...is hard for people who know what suffering must feel like. For teens, it seems there is an element of empathy that is missing. Do I blame the parents? Sort of. Assuming that both parties have contributed to their lives. Truth is, either way, they are of a DNA that probably lacks it. In a sense, these are monsters unless they learn to realize that what they did was ethically wrong. But the harsh reality is, you can't punish assholes. To justify this action, they weren't required to save the man. Nor call for help. But human to human...it's a contract I hope our fellow man would abide by. Which is why government introduces so many new laws. It's because we have assholes that would constantly prove to them they need to govern everything.
These teens will be punished later in life, if they haven't already. I would hope their parents would sit them down and discuss why what they did wasn't the right thing to do (or in this, what they DIDN'T do). For the sake of our society.
The public wants to know how teenagers can be this cruel. I'm wondering why it doesn't happen more.
These kids today...lack a serious sense of empathy. Not just these kids but...kids in general. It's true that they didn't need to help the guy, but to slowly watch a man gulp in water as he slowly died...is hard for people who know what suffering must feel like. For teens, it seems there is an element of empathy that is missing. Do I blame the parents? Sort of. Assuming that both parties have contributed to their lives. Truth is, either way, they are of a DNA that probably lacks it. In a sense, these are monsters unless they learn to realize that what they did was ethically wrong. But the harsh reality is, you can't punish assholes. To justify this action, they weren't required to save the man. Nor call for help. But human to human...it's a contract I hope our fellow man would abide by. Which is why government introduces so many new laws. It's because we have assholes that would constantly prove to them they need to govern everything.
These teens will be punished later in life, if they haven't already. I would hope their parents would sit them down and discuss why what they did wasn't the right thing to do (or in this, what they DIDN'T do). For the sake of our society.
"Dunkirk" (2017) 70mm film print
If Terrence Malick had made "Thin Red Line" with a point it would be this movie. Straight forward and wholly immersive I intend to re-watch on the format it was shot on, which is 15perf 70mm IMAX.
The story is of a pitch battle on a retreat. The English And French are stuck waiting for Winston Churchill to get off his fat drunk ass and bail them. Instead, they are stranded. All 400,000. As they wait as targets for German planes...they are desperate to survive.
Here's the last time I'll bring it up about Senor Spielber-go:
"Saving Private Ryan" was a movie I walked out just in awe of the technical. In the end...its unwatchable now because of dumb speeches and manipulative Hollywood drivel. Here, you dont know names and you dont know backstories. You know you have to survive. Which has no time for men talking about the tail they're gonna get if they survive. They're looking for every avenue to escape.
Such a battle isn't a battle at all but a "live to fight another day" scenario.
Director Christopher Nolan crafts simple human moments based on horrific war events and slowly it becomes a sensory film.
This is also told through the bending of time. Events catch up with past and then hangs back into present but ends up getting a different perspective. Disorienting but as your mind catches up...it engages you wholly.
While the movie is as straight forward as possible, you get a sense that this story the Brits tell is a proud story. And not that I'm spoiling it, but when desperation calls out for all good people to pitch in, very often people will answer it.
Is it a thrilling Hollywood pic. NO. But it is what I think real war feels like. And it's usually situations you're just happy to walk away from. So please go experience this movie. Not watch...experience.
The story is of a pitch battle on a retreat. The English And French are stuck waiting for Winston Churchill to get off his fat drunk ass and bail them. Instead, they are stranded. All 400,000. As they wait as targets for German planes...they are desperate to survive.
Here's the last time I'll bring it up about Senor Spielber-go:
"Saving Private Ryan" was a movie I walked out just in awe of the technical. In the end...its unwatchable now because of dumb speeches and manipulative Hollywood drivel. Here, you dont know names and you dont know backstories. You know you have to survive. Which has no time for men talking about the tail they're gonna get if they survive. They're looking for every avenue to escape.
Such a battle isn't a battle at all but a "live to fight another day" scenario.
Director Christopher Nolan crafts simple human moments based on horrific war events and slowly it becomes a sensory film.
This is also told through the bending of time. Events catch up with past and then hangs back into present but ends up getting a different perspective. Disorienting but as your mind catches up...it engages you wholly.
While the movie is as straight forward as possible, you get a sense that this story the Brits tell is a proud story. And not that I'm spoiling it, but when desperation calls out for all good people to pitch in, very often people will answer it.
Is it a thrilling Hollywood pic. NO. But it is what I think real war feels like. And it's usually situations you're just happy to walk away from. So please go experience this movie. Not watch...experience.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Chester Bennington Commits Suicide
Linkin Park frontman kills himself.
Most likely drugs due to depression due to drugs, and also alcohol and other stuff to maintain. Or not.
Don't know their music. Don't know him. But I am starting to hear white noise anytime any famous person checks out on their own accord. Depression is real, as is...hope.
Again, what people absolutely unequivocally refuse to believe is that having money and success will solve your troubles. They won't. In fact, most are better off without it. Because you don't have to live your pain in the limelight and be judged for even taking a shit. Being a nobody is actually more liberating than being world famous. You can't escape the surrealist cinema that follows fame.
I wish you all the luck out there and remember, it's all about your art. Everything else is...noise.
Most likely drugs due to depression due to drugs, and also alcohol and other stuff to maintain. Or not.
Don't know their music. Don't know him. But I am starting to hear white noise anytime any famous person checks out on their own accord. Depression is real, as is...hope.
Again, what people absolutely unequivocally refuse to believe is that having money and success will solve your troubles. They won't. In fact, most are better off without it. Because you don't have to live your pain in the limelight and be judged for even taking a shit. Being a nobody is actually more liberating than being world famous. You can't escape the surrealist cinema that follows fame.
I wish you all the luck out there and remember, it's all about your art. Everything else is...noise.
O.J. Is Freed! (...as of October)
A lot can happen to a dude who is shortiming it...in prison. If I were Ron Goldman...man...not enough dynamite could prevent me from hurting this dude. BUT, parole was granted to a "innocent of murderr" man. If he did it.
Well, parole is...well, it just means the dad-gum gov'mint and society are going to watching him close. How many people are going to hit that hornet's nest with a broom stick to see how he responds? I wish to God I was close enough. But...and this is the hilarious part, he is going to the part of the country that...well, relishes in oddball dumbshit happening. You guessed it: Florida.
Apparently The Juice has family there. It will get hot, humid and ugly. If anyone got a chance to see his parole hearing...that guy is not sorry at all for what he did. This parole board was...well, they're typical Nevada garbage. Perhaps attempting to dig up some publicity for their cause or something. The hearing couldn't be more ridiculous. O.J. completely blaming everyone for everything. Wonder how that's going to work out for him again.
He isn't going to change. He will never change. Rehabilitation is complete garbage when we know he should be strapped into a chair and...well, juiced up.
Fuck this dude.
Well, parole is...well, it just means the dad-gum gov'mint and society are going to watching him close. How many people are going to hit that hornet's nest with a broom stick to see how he responds? I wish to God I was close enough. But...and this is the hilarious part, he is going to the part of the country that...well, relishes in oddball dumbshit happening. You guessed it: Florida.
Apparently The Juice has family there. It will get hot, humid and ugly. If anyone got a chance to see his parole hearing...that guy is not sorry at all for what he did. This parole board was...well, they're typical Nevada garbage. Perhaps attempting to dig up some publicity for their cause or something. The hearing couldn't be more ridiculous. O.J. completely blaming everyone for everything. Wonder how that's going to work out for him again.
He isn't going to change. He will never change. Rehabilitation is complete garbage when we know he should be strapped into a chair and...well, juiced up.
Fuck this dude.
O.J. Simpson Parole: UPDATE!!
Let's be real, he 'aint gettin' out anytime soon. I'd say ever.
But he is 70 years old now, which is odd, considering he is about the same age as my Dad. Though Pops never killed anyone. Has it really been that long ago?
Nevada parole is about to hear the Juice do some old man tap dancing. That entails saying how reformed he is (not gonna happen) and how much remorse he feels (forget it). And that if released he won't kidnap or assault anymore. Wait...WHAT? This isn't for the murder of his wife. Nope. BUT it is for stealing his own memorabilia back from some asshole who stole it from him.
Let me repeat or update for those just reading my nonsense...O.J. DID NOT KILL his wife. I think he paid someone to do it. For some moral warriors...this is just as bad as doing it yourself. Not really. It would make you a colossal coward, I'd think. But still a coward incapable of murder. Which is probably the logic Juice is using. They can't even use the name Orenthal anymore. Like Hitler.
So Juice, sorry pal, you know what you did, but aren't in jail for that one thing you're thinking about. Think about the randomness of your wife that you paid to have murdered and maybe they'll let you back out at 80.
UPDATE: Show what I know. They're letting the asshole out. He will kill or be killed.
But he is 70 years old now, which is odd, considering he is about the same age as my Dad. Though Pops never killed anyone. Has it really been that long ago?
Nevada parole is about to hear the Juice do some old man tap dancing. That entails saying how reformed he is (not gonna happen) and how much remorse he feels (forget it). And that if released he won't kidnap or assault anymore. Wait...WHAT? This isn't for the murder of his wife. Nope. BUT it is for stealing his own memorabilia back from some asshole who stole it from him.
Let me repeat or update for those just reading my nonsense...O.J. DID NOT KILL his wife. I think he paid someone to do it. For some moral warriors...this is just as bad as doing it yourself. Not really. It would make you a colossal coward, I'd think. But still a coward incapable of murder. Which is probably the logic Juice is using. They can't even use the name Orenthal anymore. Like Hitler.
So Juice, sorry pal, you know what you did, but aren't in jail for that one thing you're thinking about. Think about the randomness of your wife that you paid to have murdered and maybe they'll let you back out at 80.
UPDATE: Show what I know. They're letting the asshole out. He will kill or be killed.
Stunted People
No...not the guys in movies that get thrown through plate glass. Stunted, as in mentally plateau'd at childhood.
I notice a friend who collects toys. A few people actually. This is typical nerd behavior. I'm guilty of dumb stuff collecting too. Nothing as...let's say...I wouldn't change my schedule over it. This dude does. And he's endearingly pleasant so it's hard not to share in his joy. But goddamn is this world going to be a wakeup call.
Stunted people don't really see other humans as...potential danger. Stands to reason a stunted person has very little experience or is unaware of this. Or they're in denial. Conversely, a cynical person has but a few examples of bad experiences to ruin a lifetime.
I don't mean to make "stunted" sound like a bad thing. In a better world, the stunted person is what we all aspire to. A world where everything is a McDonald's toy. And ice cream cones are a quarter. And everyone works together to enjoy life as long as possible. In that case, it's great to drag feet until reality sets in. Sometimes it will be expressed in other ways. Perhaps a stunted person is a higher plane of thinking that keeps trauma at bay.
I notice a friend who collects toys. A few people actually. This is typical nerd behavior. I'm guilty of dumb stuff collecting too. Nothing as...let's say...I wouldn't change my schedule over it. This dude does. And he's endearingly pleasant so it's hard not to share in his joy. But goddamn is this world going to be a wakeup call.
Stunted people don't really see other humans as...potential danger. Stands to reason a stunted person has very little experience or is unaware of this. Or they're in denial. Conversely, a cynical person has but a few examples of bad experiences to ruin a lifetime.
I don't mean to make "stunted" sound like a bad thing. In a better world, the stunted person is what we all aspire to. A world where everything is a McDonald's toy. And ice cream cones are a quarter. And everyone works together to enjoy life as long as possible. In that case, it's great to drag feet until reality sets in. Sometimes it will be expressed in other ways. Perhaps a stunted person is a higher plane of thinking that keeps trauma at bay.
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Perfectionist
First off, I'd like to thank all the people who've been reading my blog.
I'm not trying to get anything right, only get it out there. Feel free to disagree or communicate if you want.
Anyway, you know lately what's been getting on my nerves, is digital movies. They are so clinically clean and precise and sharp that...it's no longer about human and emotions. I got my hands on a Super16mm Bolex and the camera is super fucked up. BUT...it has THE coolest abnormalities to it, which I'm tempted not to repair. Because guess what?...that is a look that no one else will have.
Why do it if you can't emulate the look? That's that shitbag corporate talking. Real art exists in moments. Try telling an actor to recreate a performance verbatim. Can't be done. It can come close, can be studied and copied by others, but it wasn't in THAT moment.
Which is why I'm so pissed at the new trend of getting a low-contrast muted look like the ones David Fincher kicked off. It's absolutely a sin to filmmakers to strangle the fuck out of images. His movies DON'T breathe, because it has his ugly sense of symmetry and perfection. It's not cinema, it's a clinical study similar to putting a camera behind a two-way mirror. Is it truth? Nope. Neither is Denis Villanueva movies. And the trend is going there, so the trend is obviously correct. Go fuck yourselves. His movies are absolute dog turd dull. This version of humanity is lapping it up. Because that's what they are fed. And also to believe the evolution of movie making requires this choked out look. Which then dumps the human element of imperfection.
Imperfection is what the human can detect and respond. Because we aren't robots. Our brains processing numbers to form images is a form of mental abuse. Because we're being dialed in to ingest more and more information and never storing any of it. No one can remember directions OR phone numbers anymore. A movie that was made on digital cameras, are forgotten quickly. Think about ones you believe could have longevity? Give up? You can't. They're all awful. Unless, we are being conditioned now. Which is possible. And simply, easier to let it slowly head dive into the abyss.
How sad it is in order to survive, people who consider themselves artist have to come to terms with the reality of commerce. Again, being led solely by money is the undercurrent of a hypocritical Hollywood whose socialist backbone is wrapped in its hunger for gold. And it's not so it can continue to make meaningful art.
I'm not trying to get anything right, only get it out there. Feel free to disagree or communicate if you want.
Anyway, you know lately what's been getting on my nerves, is digital movies. They are so clinically clean and precise and sharp that...it's no longer about human and emotions. I got my hands on a Super16mm Bolex and the camera is super fucked up. BUT...it has THE coolest abnormalities to it, which I'm tempted not to repair. Because guess what?...that is a look that no one else will have.
Why do it if you can't emulate the look? That's that shitbag corporate talking. Real art exists in moments. Try telling an actor to recreate a performance verbatim. Can't be done. It can come close, can be studied and copied by others, but it wasn't in THAT moment.
Which is why I'm so pissed at the new trend of getting a low-contrast muted look like the ones David Fincher kicked off. It's absolutely a sin to filmmakers to strangle the fuck out of images. His movies DON'T breathe, because it has his ugly sense of symmetry and perfection. It's not cinema, it's a clinical study similar to putting a camera behind a two-way mirror. Is it truth? Nope. Neither is Denis Villanueva movies. And the trend is going there, so the trend is obviously correct. Go fuck yourselves. His movies are absolute dog turd dull. This version of humanity is lapping it up. Because that's what they are fed. And also to believe the evolution of movie making requires this choked out look. Which then dumps the human element of imperfection.
Imperfection is what the human can detect and respond. Because we aren't robots. Our brains processing numbers to form images is a form of mental abuse. Because we're being dialed in to ingest more and more information and never storing any of it. No one can remember directions OR phone numbers anymore. A movie that was made on digital cameras, are forgotten quickly. Think about ones you believe could have longevity? Give up? You can't. They're all awful. Unless, we are being conditioned now. Which is possible. And simply, easier to let it slowly head dive into the abyss.
How sad it is in order to survive, people who consider themselves artist have to come to terms with the reality of commerce. Again, being led solely by money is the undercurrent of a hypocritical Hollywood whose socialist backbone is wrapped in its hunger for gold. And it's not so it can continue to make meaningful art.
Monday, July 17, 2017
Ferris Bueller Re(dis)membered
I was barely a teen when a guy who worked in my parents kitchen GLOWED about "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." I had to go see it. And my Mom was super-cool enough to...well, cool enough to drop me off at the cinema to see this.
I thought the movie at the time was...okay. It was funny to see that the concept had been stolen thousands of times after.
As you get older, and you watch this movie again, it's a hot pile of burning smoking shit. And it bamboozled us to think we were cool and rich enough to do the things Ferris could get away with. When you are an adult, you conclude that he is an annoying Ego trip who probably would be stabbed to death by a gay lover. Or, in some fanboy storyline, he was the split personality of Cameron.
I guess what annoys me more than anything about this movie is...it's not really about anything. A guy skips school. That's it. Is that enough for a full blown movie? Is this a commentary on late 80's uptight-ta-tude? The money starved jerks that were adults of that era? You see the irony of a boy who is a constant disappointment to his parents be the one doted on? Because a person who gets away with crime is a modern day folk hero? That's for you to decide. As a 40+ year old guy now, it's not that he gets away with things, it's like director John Hughes thinks we're that Jennifer Grey character. And we're uncool if we disagree with him.
As Gilbert Gottfried told Matthew Broderick in a podcast, Ferris was an annoying jerk who should be drowned.
I thought the movie at the time was...okay. It was funny to see that the concept had been stolen thousands of times after.
As you get older, and you watch this movie again, it's a hot pile of burning smoking shit. And it bamboozled us to think we were cool and rich enough to do the things Ferris could get away with. When you are an adult, you conclude that he is an annoying Ego trip who probably would be stabbed to death by a gay lover. Or, in some fanboy storyline, he was the split personality of Cameron.
I guess what annoys me more than anything about this movie is...it's not really about anything. A guy skips school. That's it. Is that enough for a full blown movie? Is this a commentary on late 80's uptight-ta-tude? The money starved jerks that were adults of that era? You see the irony of a boy who is a constant disappointment to his parents be the one doted on? Because a person who gets away with crime is a modern day folk hero? That's for you to decide. As a 40+ year old guy now, it's not that he gets away with things, it's like director John Hughes thinks we're that Jennifer Grey character. And we're uncool if we disagree with him.
As Gilbert Gottfried told Matthew Broderick in a podcast, Ferris was an annoying jerk who should be drowned.
Exhausted
This weekend was long but INCREDIBLY rewarding.
I shot two different projects. One my own the other not. BUT what it did was get me moving again. Pump up the blood, the lungs, the vitality of movie making. Hearing film roll through machine is so gratifying, I pity you who never get to experience this.
Though, it is exhausting. Forgive me for bitching and whining, but a task that doesn't require much thought...such as most jobs, are for the most part...auto-pilot. Not a bad thing, if you go 40 hour weeks. So what makes movie-making so difficult? It depends. For me, it's the small details. It's a brain exercise that I don't think most people understand. The reason why my professional friends don't do so much is because of these mental exercises. The details KILL a film shoot. Straight up KILL. You forget things in urgency. Some people can thrive in it, most will not.
It is a juggling act. So many questions. And then the doubt. Can the big dog directors silence ALL of this. Listen to Martin Scorsese and you understand why his brain rolls so fast.
So people really on set don't completely understand why you act weird when trying to get everything going.
In the end, the mind moves as quickly as you want it to. Worry and stress.
On one of the shoots, I remember we were in Burbank, and the director casually wanted us to wait until the sun was just about the set. Fine. He calculated a few hours, betting on us eating a meal we'd be finish. I worried a lot more than him because, we're really attempting to chance a moment that cannot be recaptured. On top of that, we shoot on film, which the sensitivity to light is different. Then factor in it was expired film and that we were doing special processing of the negative. You put those thoughts in a spin cycle and see which comes out on top. These are the reasons why ignorance is bliss.
So, all you laid back cookies who want to shoot movies, maybe you have a different process that doesn't cause this type of stress. Would love to hear it. Yes, it's not brain surgery...BUT time is precious.
I shot two different projects. One my own the other not. BUT what it did was get me moving again. Pump up the blood, the lungs, the vitality of movie making. Hearing film roll through machine is so gratifying, I pity you who never get to experience this.
Though, it is exhausting. Forgive me for bitching and whining, but a task that doesn't require much thought...such as most jobs, are for the most part...auto-pilot. Not a bad thing, if you go 40 hour weeks. So what makes movie-making so difficult? It depends. For me, it's the small details. It's a brain exercise that I don't think most people understand. The reason why my professional friends don't do so much is because of these mental exercises. The details KILL a film shoot. Straight up KILL. You forget things in urgency. Some people can thrive in it, most will not.
It is a juggling act. So many questions. And then the doubt. Can the big dog directors silence ALL of this. Listen to Martin Scorsese and you understand why his brain rolls so fast.
So people really on set don't completely understand why you act weird when trying to get everything going.
In the end, the mind moves as quickly as you want it to. Worry and stress.
On one of the shoots, I remember we were in Burbank, and the director casually wanted us to wait until the sun was just about the set. Fine. He calculated a few hours, betting on us eating a meal we'd be finish. I worried a lot more than him because, we're really attempting to chance a moment that cannot be recaptured. On top of that, we shoot on film, which the sensitivity to light is different. Then factor in it was expired film and that we were doing special processing of the negative. You put those thoughts in a spin cycle and see which comes out on top. These are the reasons why ignorance is bliss.
So, all you laid back cookies who want to shoot movies, maybe you have a different process that doesn't cause this type of stress. Would love to hear it. Yes, it's not brain surgery...BUT time is precious.
Auditions
I've only had to audition once as an actor in a high school play. It was for a director who was about 80 years old. So naturally she thought I was right as a 6ft. 4" Aryan playboy. I love her moxie.
I am begging all actors out there to listen to Illeana Douglas's podcast "I Blame Dennis Hopper" Because the reality of it is tougher than you probably realize or are too deluded about. Or have faith in. And this will smooth over the bump that you shouldn't despair when it happens.
She tells the story of auditioning for a role in movie for director Alan Parker. He was the genius behind "Mississippi Burning". A tough Englishman who also directed "Fame"
At the audition, illeana was brought in by casting director Howard Feuer...whom if memory serves...also casted "Silence of The Lambs" As Illeana does her reading in front of Alan and his assistants...he stops her and bellows "she is completely wrong for this role!! Who brought her in?! Howard! Howard!!" To which Feuer pops his head in and gets an earful. Followed by "get Frances on the line" referring to Frances McDormand. All this in FRONT of Illeana. To which she does the only thing she possibly can, she says "I can read it again if you want." Alan just stares at her wondering why she was still just standing around.
Heartbreaking and funny.
She laughs about it today. But these are the stories in the trenches. More than likely as an actor you tend to sidestep these horrific anecdotes wanting never to get a shot at the ego like that. Fuck, I couldn't do it. But this is the reality if you choose this as a profession.
I am begging all actors out there to listen to Illeana Douglas's podcast "I Blame Dennis Hopper" Because the reality of it is tougher than you probably realize or are too deluded about. Or have faith in. And this will smooth over the bump that you shouldn't despair when it happens.
She tells the story of auditioning for a role in movie for director Alan Parker. He was the genius behind "Mississippi Burning". A tough Englishman who also directed "Fame"
At the audition, illeana was brought in by casting director Howard Feuer...whom if memory serves...also casted "Silence of The Lambs" As Illeana does her reading in front of Alan and his assistants...he stops her and bellows "she is completely wrong for this role!! Who brought her in?! Howard! Howard!!" To which Feuer pops his head in and gets an earful. Followed by "get Frances on the line" referring to Frances McDormand. All this in FRONT of Illeana. To which she does the only thing she possibly can, she says "I can read it again if you want." Alan just stares at her wondering why she was still just standing around.
Heartbreaking and funny.
She laughs about it today. But these are the stories in the trenches. More than likely as an actor you tend to sidestep these horrific anecdotes wanting never to get a shot at the ego like that. Fuck, I couldn't do it. But this is the reality if you choose this as a profession.
Sunday, July 16, 2017
"War For The Planet Of The Apes"
"Apes" are most likely now synonymous with anything that is in the primate family. I guess.
This movie is pretty solid. Though, as another friend put it, not much of any warring.
True.
But that's all okay. Personally, they needed to switch the titles of "dawn" with this one "war" and all would be fine. I didn't feel bamboozled since...the titles of the original were pretty corny too.
The computer FX in this are amazing. First time I've EVER said this. The physics are now there and they are scary good. Yes, we're still okay in the uncanny valley but we are nearing our own code to make human actors null and void and just extract voices. Saves on insurance, and bad attitudes.
The story starts with a battle. Human versus Ape. You get the sense it has a Vietnam War feel but the battle swings a few ways. We learn soon that they are in search of a leader that had been lost and presumed the enemy of the state in Caesar, the original talking ape. The simian flu is now spreading and causing a shift in why the apes are being hunted if all they wanted was peace. Now, I'm sure there is a political statement here but I won't venture to guess. What I will say is that I am perfectly okay to be part of the human coalition no matter how much kindness is extended through this primates. I am human, and with it flaws.
So goes evolution. Which, if you look at this time, it would actually be reversed. As our arrogant minds like to believe. What is soul crushing is knowing that this is our future. But...again, very little about this is about a war. Well, it's a different sort of war. One whose moral lines DO get blurred, so I'll leave it at that.
A thought provoking movie in a b-level material.
This movie is pretty solid. Though, as another friend put it, not much of any warring.
True.
But that's all okay. Personally, they needed to switch the titles of "dawn" with this one "war" and all would be fine. I didn't feel bamboozled since...the titles of the original were pretty corny too.
The computer FX in this are amazing. First time I've EVER said this. The physics are now there and they are scary good. Yes, we're still okay in the uncanny valley but we are nearing our own code to make human actors null and void and just extract voices. Saves on insurance, and bad attitudes.
The story starts with a battle. Human versus Ape. You get the sense it has a Vietnam War feel but the battle swings a few ways. We learn soon that they are in search of a leader that had been lost and presumed the enemy of the state in Caesar, the original talking ape. The simian flu is now spreading and causing a shift in why the apes are being hunted if all they wanted was peace. Now, I'm sure there is a political statement here but I won't venture to guess. What I will say is that I am perfectly okay to be part of the human coalition no matter how much kindness is extended through this primates. I am human, and with it flaws.
So goes evolution. Which, if you look at this time, it would actually be reversed. As our arrogant minds like to believe. What is soul crushing is knowing that this is our future. But...again, very little about this is about a war. Well, it's a different sort of war. One whose moral lines DO get blurred, so I'll leave it at that.
A thought provoking movie in a b-level material.
George Romero
Let's just all assume right now that we've followed this guru of terror AND horror and lopped off his head and spiked his brain before burying him. Okay? Alrighty then...
There is no doubt Mr. Romero started the modern day zombie sub-genre. No doubt at all. What made him MUCH more unique than say splatter dopes is that he actually had a political message within the gore. I recall being a lame-wad high school kid sitting in a utility room watching his horror flicks on VHS (only place with a monitor). There I sat in silence watching brains being eaten, and skin being pulled apart. And it was just a level below camp that we accepted it as fun. I also recall my friend and I would put together fake blood and shoot our own shitty George Romero influenced backyard movie. They were terrible, but I look back that far now and marvel at how much influence he had on us. From NO budget filmmaking to cheap gore effects, his sense of filmmaking was so grass roots.
He is with the dead now, which seems strange knowing he's revived so many others for great entertainment. A great legacy to have left behind. A pioneer of cinema which is growing rarer and rarer. Thank you, Mr. Romero.
There is no doubt Mr. Romero started the modern day zombie sub-genre. No doubt at all. What made him MUCH more unique than say splatter dopes is that he actually had a political message within the gore. I recall being a lame-wad high school kid sitting in a utility room watching his horror flicks on VHS (only place with a monitor). There I sat in silence watching brains being eaten, and skin being pulled apart. And it was just a level below camp that we accepted it as fun. I also recall my friend and I would put together fake blood and shoot our own shitty George Romero influenced backyard movie. They were terrible, but I look back that far now and marvel at how much influence he had on us. From NO budget filmmaking to cheap gore effects, his sense of filmmaking was so grass roots.
He is with the dead now, which seems strange knowing he's revived so many others for great entertainment. A great legacy to have left behind. A pioneer of cinema which is growing rarer and rarer. Thank you, Mr. Romero.
Admitting Your Addiction
I'm sure there are people out there that believe that even your most stoic folk are to be respected for your stoicism. If you think about people who come back from a horrific war, they don't say much about their experiences. They quietly try to numb all the noise.
I was asked recently whether or not I could ever see my parents as flawed people. In my Mom, yes. She has a lot of unresolved issues, as we all have. For my Dad, I've never seen it. He's flawed in the sense, maybe that he was never around, or was really that present in life as most Dads were in Ohio. He had a business to run. But he was never angry. He kept quiet if things bothered him. I think a residual effect of my stern grandfather.
I contend that parents have given up their right to appear...shaky. I think the whole idea of hearing about an addiction from someone you care about or respect tends to have that effect. When I listened to Adam Carolla's podcast, he frequently talks about his welfare hippie Mother who would constantly "freak out." This shakes the child to the core of whom to trust. In another sense, admitting your addiction, if you are a functioning person of society, seems to shake the core of people who do rely on you. Think about it, the person whom you think has their shit together...doesn't. Yes, a LOT of us...if any has any of our shit together. But the perception and the reality are REALLY different. It's how the person feels as well.
In today's world, coming out and telling people you have an addiction is met with...quiet. I've recently told a friend about my drinking. And she was surprised. Like...really surprised. To which a lot of things can be made of it. On one hand, I can take offense to the idea that everyone can have a weakness. On the other, maybe there was a sense of closeness now that someone has this information on you. To admit to weakness is tough. MANY people will never do this. There is no way they could ever have others see them as they cannot bear to see themselves. These people lash out in other ways.
The idea is that a person of moral structure can fail and fail bad. For others to know this, seems to bite at society's need to forgive. It doesn't happen easy. Being judged on something you thought was reaching out for help sometimes cuts hard.
I say, still reach out though. Or admit clearly that you have these problems. NOT to your kids. But...to people who care about you. It's a pretty good step and people do try to be helpful.
I was asked recently whether or not I could ever see my parents as flawed people. In my Mom, yes. She has a lot of unresolved issues, as we all have. For my Dad, I've never seen it. He's flawed in the sense, maybe that he was never around, or was really that present in life as most Dads were in Ohio. He had a business to run. But he was never angry. He kept quiet if things bothered him. I think a residual effect of my stern grandfather.
I contend that parents have given up their right to appear...shaky. I think the whole idea of hearing about an addiction from someone you care about or respect tends to have that effect. When I listened to Adam Carolla's podcast, he frequently talks about his welfare hippie Mother who would constantly "freak out." This shakes the child to the core of whom to trust. In another sense, admitting your addiction, if you are a functioning person of society, seems to shake the core of people who do rely on you. Think about it, the person whom you think has their shit together...doesn't. Yes, a LOT of us...if any has any of our shit together. But the perception and the reality are REALLY different. It's how the person feels as well.
In today's world, coming out and telling people you have an addiction is met with...quiet. I've recently told a friend about my drinking. And she was surprised. Like...really surprised. To which a lot of things can be made of it. On one hand, I can take offense to the idea that everyone can have a weakness. On the other, maybe there was a sense of closeness now that someone has this information on you. To admit to weakness is tough. MANY people will never do this. There is no way they could ever have others see them as they cannot bear to see themselves. These people lash out in other ways.
The idea is that a person of moral structure can fail and fail bad. For others to know this, seems to bite at society's need to forgive. It doesn't happen easy. Being judged on something you thought was reaching out for help sometimes cuts hard.
I say, still reach out though. Or admit clearly that you have these problems. NOT to your kids. But...to people who care about you. It's a pretty good step and people do try to be helpful.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
The Homeless Lady
I'm not sure she's homeless or not actually, but I've been giving her all my aluminum cans and glass bottles. She's an ex-gang somewhere. I can tell by her tattoos. I can't tell her age, because of all the sun damage, but she is a Hispanic woman who speaks...California English. And looks to be slightly older than me. Maybe she's got 10 years on me.
I've given her food in the past. And lemons. She's always thankful, and extremely polite. Has NEVER stepped foot in my place even though I invite her in just to get out of hot or cold.
I met her while she was digging through my garbage looking for recyclables.
She comes around here and there. I think she's afraid of this complex. She showed up yesterday, I instantly perked:
"Hey! Where ya' been?"
"I got my cart out front, I can just grab the cans." Then she leaned in "your neighbor is not very nice."
She was referring to the guy who lives next to me who is a 60 year old White guy who has expressed to me his disgust at people who have been rooting through our garbage. To him, it sends a message out that this place is ripe for cans to recycle for money.
Maybe he knows more about humanity than I do. But from how I judge the person, she is not interested in ripping me off. She is interested in living.
Then I started thinking about "White Privilege". Uh-oh heeeeere we go.
The thing is...the White fellow is more than likely living off government assistant. The reason I suspect this is because, though he works from home as a book dealer, he has exhibited no other means of survival. Perhaps social security. But an idle person seems to take big offense to...life (why this blog, I guess).
White privilege dawned on me between these two. Essentially they are in the same situation, yet one refuses to acknowledge that he is but a breath away from the inevitable. I'm sure we treat the elderly this way because we can't face the inevitable. White Privilege is a mentality that tells this man, something will come along and it will be better. Without the harassment of society. I'm not saying it's a badge to defend terrible police brutality (although I consider that more stupidity and under-trained staff than anything). But it explains how White folk seem to think things do get better instead of...surviving. To me, the lady who comes collecting cans has the ability and lack of pride to function much better than the man who thinks waiting in his home watching the world drive by is a better choice. I've been there, and done that. It's probably even more grating that he sees me spend time, energy and money on a dream he lost decades ago. Though, for me it wasn't about making money, but just having fun.
To me, this man thinks life gets better with little effort or concern. This is the White Privilege that has been spoken about.
I've given her food in the past. And lemons. She's always thankful, and extremely polite. Has NEVER stepped foot in my place even though I invite her in just to get out of hot or cold.
I met her while she was digging through my garbage looking for recyclables.
She comes around here and there. I think she's afraid of this complex. She showed up yesterday, I instantly perked:
"Hey! Where ya' been?"
"I got my cart out front, I can just grab the cans." Then she leaned in "your neighbor is not very nice."
She was referring to the guy who lives next to me who is a 60 year old White guy who has expressed to me his disgust at people who have been rooting through our garbage. To him, it sends a message out that this place is ripe for cans to recycle for money.
Maybe he knows more about humanity than I do. But from how I judge the person, she is not interested in ripping me off. She is interested in living.
Then I started thinking about "White Privilege". Uh-oh heeeeere we go.
The thing is...the White fellow is more than likely living off government assistant. The reason I suspect this is because, though he works from home as a book dealer, he has exhibited no other means of survival. Perhaps social security. But an idle person seems to take big offense to...life (why this blog, I guess).
White privilege dawned on me between these two. Essentially they are in the same situation, yet one refuses to acknowledge that he is but a breath away from the inevitable. I'm sure we treat the elderly this way because we can't face the inevitable. White Privilege is a mentality that tells this man, something will come along and it will be better. Without the harassment of society. I'm not saying it's a badge to defend terrible police brutality (although I consider that more stupidity and under-trained staff than anything). But it explains how White folk seem to think things do get better instead of...surviving. To me, the lady who comes collecting cans has the ability and lack of pride to function much better than the man who thinks waiting in his home watching the world drive by is a better choice. I've been there, and done that. It's probably even more grating that he sees me spend time, energy and money on a dream he lost decades ago. Though, for me it wasn't about making money, but just having fun.
To me, this man thinks life gets better with little effort or concern. This is the White Privilege that has been spoken about.
Friday, July 14, 2017
Grandiosity
I have a problem with grandiosity.
When I don't get the credit for some things, it grates on me. Some people would say...well, be humble and just do what you do. It stops me from doing things for others. Which is the point.
If you decide (and by you, I mean me) to do things for others, I can never and should never expect an outcome that would be gratefulness. It's foolhardy of myself to think anyone who works in a heavily emotional based industry would consider...well, consideration. I can't be thankful enough. But, conversely, I can't give credit where none is due. Trust me, going and above and beyond yields nothing. Well, sometimes it does, most of the time it's exhausting for everyone. I simply want to make things and get the recognition. But there's that grandiosity again.
I guess, we wouldn't be in this business if we didn't crave it.
It is soul crushing when it is given to others who have done far less. It may be a real lesson in how Hollywood really works.
When I don't get the credit for some things, it grates on me. Some people would say...well, be humble and just do what you do. It stops me from doing things for others. Which is the point.
If you decide (and by you, I mean me) to do things for others, I can never and should never expect an outcome that would be gratefulness. It's foolhardy of myself to think anyone who works in a heavily emotional based industry would consider...well, consideration. I can't be thankful enough. But, conversely, I can't give credit where none is due. Trust me, going and above and beyond yields nothing. Well, sometimes it does, most of the time it's exhausting for everyone. I simply want to make things and get the recognition. But there's that grandiosity again.
I guess, we wouldn't be in this business if we didn't crave it.
It is soul crushing when it is given to others who have done far less. It may be a real lesson in how Hollywood really works.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Michelle Obama At The ESPY's
It's hard to watch a show that just laid off a ton of their employees. I didn't watch the show, but Yahoo grabbed a hold of was Michelle Obama's dress. Pushing it to be "iconic."
Let's be real, she looks great. Slick, healthy...just really great. That is what American women look like. Classy.
Did we forget this is also a fucking smart fucking woman? No joke, she is a lawyer. And Yahoo is focused on how great she looked or pushing this phony agenda that she set some trend in ladies fashion. Wrong. This is the type of shit that pushes the thought to young women that all they need to do to be successful is look great in a cool dress. Never once did they push her intelligence. Or her charities. Or whatever that has nothing to do with how she dressed. Garbage.
And you wonder why Trump says this news is fake.
Did we forget this is also a fucking smart fucking woman? No joke, she is a lawyer. And Yahoo is focused on how great she looked or pushing this phony agenda that she set some trend in ladies fashion. Wrong. This is the type of shit that pushes the thought to young women that all they need to do to be successful is look great in a cool dress. Never once did they push her intelligence. Or her charities. Or whatever that has nothing to do with how she dressed. Garbage.
And you wonder why Trump says this news is fake.
Holly Golightly Fucked Up Women
Truman Capote's mother was a loser whore who had married an older guy who had money and when he ran out of money she killed herself. This little imp of a drunk homo unleashed a book that a LOT of women use as a manual while men look at as a survival manual. Run from these women.
This is the template of Holly Golightly. And a mystery why a TON of women identify with her.
The story of "Breakfast At Tiffany's" is essentially the one of a woman who has a nervous breakdown and chases the thrill of the city. She re-creates herself as a socialite and parties all night with complete strangers. Because she is so attractive, she leaves many men in her wake. A prostitute by implied trade. It is what is a guide for most women in American society to be a free-spirit and not reap the punishment of emotional destruction.
Holly is not a healthy person. She is actually mentally disturbed, in the personality disordered way. It's so obvious now, but it was due to being molested as a child by a man much older than her. This break in her psyche gave her the ability to ditch when things got "too real" A borderline psychosis of a personality can do this with little to no remorse. Holly's character is a broken 4 year old in a 18 year old body (35 yrs. old when Audrey Hepburn played her). Because it was played by Ms. Hepburn, it seemed it deemed it okay for most metropolitan girls from a po-dunk town to act as reckless as she does. It's exciting, it's fun. The reality, Holly most likely would end up giving blowjobs for crack. As would the character in "Pretty Women."
The idea of feminism is funny, because these are the movies that women seem to liberate them. Wild women do what they want...and they don't regret it...so says Natalie Cole. Yeah, you know what happens as a hooker? Walk Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood and you see what wild women really do. The danger is real, but enticing. In reality, the Paul Varjak character for Holly would've ditched her for his own gigolo high. Gone back to the well of the older woman who could support them. And Holly, is incapable of love. As is Vivian from "Pretty Woman." In the original story, Vivian leaves Los Angeles with her hooker sidekick. Reality. In the Disney version...prince Richard Gere charming climbs up a fire escape to get her. Love and romantic and...dreamy, you bet. Women take this to mean independence: you're retarded.
Damage women will NOT fix themselves if they exhibit the shit you see in this movie. What does Holly do? In the book, she disappears into South America. In the movie, she gets with Paul. Both of these DO NOT END WELL. Because Holly has not learned to regulate her emotions. Her disorder has been swept under the carpet until she really snaps. As is Vivian. Vivian says to Edward "...she saves him right back" in essence declaring that she did as much for him as he did for her. You know what that's called? Splicing and grandiose behavior. In which you snip out the part that you were a $50 hooker on Hollywood in order to sense that you cured a rich guy's own psychosis with his father whom he hated so much.
This hurts me to the core, because you are pandering to dumb women who believe they are intelligent. The guys who wrote this were far smarter, because they got the public (mostly women) to eat this up and believe it to be the way to conduct yourself.
Witness the godawful sucking up (literally) of these broken women to men they believe to be the answer to their problems. Bowing to their every whim, and building their ego up to gargantuan proportion. A beautiful lady who believes in you is our crack. We cannot get enough of the splendor and warmth of their fire. This is a ruse. Not that they don't truly believe in it, but it means that there is always a return. Nothing is done for nothing. The payment...to be at their service. Because characters that women identify with are core damaged, and thus require men, ugly, tall or short be at their dominion. The more intrinsically attractive you are, the easier this is to fall into.
Holly and Vivian mask their broken selves as tough cookies. But able to charm anyone. This is a skill built on not having and identity and surviving on instinct. They are survivors and they will gut you. Which is why I've been hearing lately, how many women have expressed to me that I have no idea who they are, because they start off dark. Bitch...that's you telling you you're a phony. As they seem to worship cinematic classic phonies.
No guy is immune to this. Brad Pitt suffers now due to it. Angeline Jolie...wow...a car wreck out of the gate. Hidden by her exploits into the far East. For what reason? Here's a guess, to conceal her awful lack of humanity. These people are the scariest, because no one truly knows her character. Her identity is of this woman who is worldly and adopts children from far off lands. Most likely to fulfill a savior identity. This is massively dangerous, and will expect her future children to be colossal messes. The adoption agencies can test all the wealth to sustain a child they want, if they ever decided to formally give Jolie a mental illness test, those children would never be given to her care. Or in the case of reality...her nannies. Her lifestyle is extraordinary as is her public persona. A person who believes they can circumnavigate that spotlight is clearly mentally deficient. Made even more frustrating as she was the daughter of a famous eccentric actor as well (Jon Voight).
On the surface, I enjoy both these movies, a lot. If you are a woman and worship the altar of which the message is of free-spirit, please leave this world if you can. You are going to make people miserable.
This is the template of Holly Golightly. And a mystery why a TON of women identify with her.
The story of "Breakfast At Tiffany's" is essentially the one of a woman who has a nervous breakdown and chases the thrill of the city. She re-creates herself as a socialite and parties all night with complete strangers. Because she is so attractive, she leaves many men in her wake. A prostitute by implied trade. It is what is a guide for most women in American society to be a free-spirit and not reap the punishment of emotional destruction.
Holly is not a healthy person. She is actually mentally disturbed, in the personality disordered way. It's so obvious now, but it was due to being molested as a child by a man much older than her. This break in her psyche gave her the ability to ditch when things got "too real" A borderline psychosis of a personality can do this with little to no remorse. Holly's character is a broken 4 year old in a 18 year old body (35 yrs. old when Audrey Hepburn played her). Because it was played by Ms. Hepburn, it seemed it deemed it okay for most metropolitan girls from a po-dunk town to act as reckless as she does. It's exciting, it's fun. The reality, Holly most likely would end up giving blowjobs for crack. As would the character in "Pretty Women."
The idea of feminism is funny, because these are the movies that women seem to liberate them. Wild women do what they want...and they don't regret it...so says Natalie Cole. Yeah, you know what happens as a hooker? Walk Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood and you see what wild women really do. The danger is real, but enticing. In reality, the Paul Varjak character for Holly would've ditched her for his own gigolo high. Gone back to the well of the older woman who could support them. And Holly, is incapable of love. As is Vivian from "Pretty Woman." In the original story, Vivian leaves Los Angeles with her hooker sidekick. Reality. In the Disney version...prince Richard Gere charming climbs up a fire escape to get her. Love and romantic and...dreamy, you bet. Women take this to mean independence: you're retarded.
Damage women will NOT fix themselves if they exhibit the shit you see in this movie. What does Holly do? In the book, she disappears into South America. In the movie, she gets with Paul. Both of these DO NOT END WELL. Because Holly has not learned to regulate her emotions. Her disorder has been swept under the carpet until she really snaps. As is Vivian. Vivian says to Edward "...she saves him right back" in essence declaring that she did as much for him as he did for her. You know what that's called? Splicing and grandiose behavior. In which you snip out the part that you were a $50 hooker on Hollywood in order to sense that you cured a rich guy's own psychosis with his father whom he hated so much.
This hurts me to the core, because you are pandering to dumb women who believe they are intelligent. The guys who wrote this were far smarter, because they got the public (mostly women) to eat this up and believe it to be the way to conduct yourself.
Witness the godawful sucking up (literally) of these broken women to men they believe to be the answer to their problems. Bowing to their every whim, and building their ego up to gargantuan proportion. A beautiful lady who believes in you is our crack. We cannot get enough of the splendor and warmth of their fire. This is a ruse. Not that they don't truly believe in it, but it means that there is always a return. Nothing is done for nothing. The payment...to be at their service. Because characters that women identify with are core damaged, and thus require men, ugly, tall or short be at their dominion. The more intrinsically attractive you are, the easier this is to fall into.
Holly and Vivian mask their broken selves as tough cookies. But able to charm anyone. This is a skill built on not having and identity and surviving on instinct. They are survivors and they will gut you. Which is why I've been hearing lately, how many women have expressed to me that I have no idea who they are, because they start off dark. Bitch...that's you telling you you're a phony. As they seem to worship cinematic classic phonies.
No guy is immune to this. Brad Pitt suffers now due to it. Angeline Jolie...wow...a car wreck out of the gate. Hidden by her exploits into the far East. For what reason? Here's a guess, to conceal her awful lack of humanity. These people are the scariest, because no one truly knows her character. Her identity is of this woman who is worldly and adopts children from far off lands. Most likely to fulfill a savior identity. This is massively dangerous, and will expect her future children to be colossal messes. The adoption agencies can test all the wealth to sustain a child they want, if they ever decided to formally give Jolie a mental illness test, those children would never be given to her care. Or in the case of reality...her nannies. Her lifestyle is extraordinary as is her public persona. A person who believes they can circumnavigate that spotlight is clearly mentally deficient. Made even more frustrating as she was the daughter of a famous eccentric actor as well (Jon Voight).
On the surface, I enjoy both these movies, a lot. If you are a woman and worship the altar of which the message is of free-spirit, please leave this world if you can. You are going to make people miserable.
Production Time
When I wrap my brain around shooting a short film...a lot of things fall into place and I get moving. What is grating is when there are speed bumps. All good and fine. Little things pop up all the time. What should motivate movie making is...making movies and nothing should come between you or it.
If I were to regale you tales of the excitement of making movies, it's this...the uncertainty. You get no...pat answer to anything. Even if you spent a lot of money on every contingency, there still is nothing prohibiting you from the inevitable truth. It can all go to shit.
Sorry, but it is true. Plans are only 100% when it is for building things. Plans for events. Gargfunkel!! It's the worse. Because you are moving so fast, for so long. The trick is to move and follow your instincts. That's all you can do.
Yes and no's are your new friend.
If I were to regale you tales of the excitement of making movies, it's this...the uncertainty. You get no...pat answer to anything. Even if you spent a lot of money on every contingency, there still is nothing prohibiting you from the inevitable truth. It can all go to shit.
Sorry, but it is true. Plans are only 100% when it is for building things. Plans for events. Gargfunkel!! It's the worse. Because you are moving so fast, for so long. The trick is to move and follow your instincts. That's all you can do.
Yes and no's are your new friend.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Women's Periods
Women and their raunchy filthy slimy smelly loose cunts...
...did I get your attention?
Cool.
I had a girlfriend once who told me that she doesn't get shitty when she's on her period.
BULLSHIT! The reason (probably) was because she was shitty...all...the...fucking...time.
Women who say this. Run. Seriously. It means crazy is at the surface and it gets HORRIDLY intolerable.
I think what people are overlooking here is a few things...
why the FUCK do we give way to women acting like cunts and then have them complain when they don't get paid the same as men? Here's why...that's a tax for your bitchiness. And I would call that fair.
Women who get shitty with everyone during this time...it's no excuse. Sorry. I get shitty with people too. But at least I back it up with logic. Sort of.
Every time women act shitty, they get a pass. "Oh that's Darla being Darla." No..fuck Darla. Kick her in the cunt if she wants to earn the extra 7%.
Emotionally bad behavior should not be swept under the rug. Shit...we have a saying in the man world "Dude! Maintain!"
...did I get your attention?
Cool.
I had a girlfriend once who told me that she doesn't get shitty when she's on her period.
BULLSHIT! The reason (probably) was because she was shitty...all...the...fucking...time.
Women who say this. Run. Seriously. It means crazy is at the surface and it gets HORRIDLY intolerable.
I think what people are overlooking here is a few things...
why the FUCK do we give way to women acting like cunts and then have them complain when they don't get paid the same as men? Here's why...that's a tax for your bitchiness. And I would call that fair.
Women who get shitty with everyone during this time...it's no excuse. Sorry. I get shitty with people too. But at least I back it up with logic. Sort of.
Every time women act shitty, they get a pass. "Oh that's Darla being Darla." No..fuck Darla. Kick her in the cunt if she wants to earn the extra 7%.
Emotionally bad behavior should not be swept under the rug. Shit...we have a saying in the man world "Dude! Maintain!"
OC Pride
Because you're so progressive you assume your son or daughter or whatever the fuck that is to be as well. Here's an idea, PROGRESSIVE FUCKS, let the kid do what the kid wants. Not force your fucking beliefs on the retard when they're young. Not that they are going to run ramshod over society if you don't train him like a brain dead seal.
Here is what actor James Woods:
"This is sweet. Wait until this poor kid grows up, realizes what you've done, and stuffs both of you dismembered into a freezer in the garage"
Fucking awesome. Why? Basically called these two out for blatantly pandering to Cali dickwads. Reel those fish in.
Then Neil Patrick I'm a Homo Love Me Harris had to say that his Tweet was ignorant and blah blah blah. Because you suck a man's cock doesn't mean you have the intelligence to realize Woods' is entitled to say what he said, just as you are AND THESE TWO FUCKING ASSHOLES are for their opinion. Do I agree? Obviously not. How about you enjoy your life instead of cramming it down everyone else's fucking throat like a used dildo.
What the flying fuck does "gender creative" mean anyway, you stupid flamers?! Oh, right I forgot the other idiot on the right, that this kid wears dresses and makeup? Listen, shitbag, if I put on a blonde wig I'm not Brad Pitt Creative. So go fuck yourselves.
Is Hate Speech Free Speech?
Yes, it is.
I don't agree with Nazis or Black Lives Matter, but I'm glad they have the platform to speak.
And who decides what is "hate speech" anyway. Apparently the Leftist constantly believe they are of the lovey-dovey club? Horseshit.
If you've been in Hollywood long enough, they are the most vindictive angry insane losers on the planet who happen to make a decent living playing make believe. Yes, people in spandex suits making more than you and whining. Does this not make you sick to your stomach.
So recently, the case of Nelsan Ellis, the actor who struggled with alcoholism came up. Addiction killed this man young. To which actress Mayim Bialik stated how hateful and angry and racist the general public is. How we shit on someone who suffered so long.
Good. We should.
Not because it's the right thing to do, BUT...that this function exists. What Bialik doesn't understand is the venting process. The anger and the relief it takes to just...release all the pent up pissy-ness. She prefer that these fuckers online hold it in to take it out on REAL people? I've always considered the cyberspace to be and should be the anonymous venting machine (hence, my blog).
We're all angry trolls deep down inside (some more on the surface). The idea is that the world we know now is for the living. To think that piling on anger at people who are suffering the loss is up to you, it's foolhardy. What does she suggest is the solution? Oh right, Hollywood never has one. This is called "whining." But, I applaud her for sharing her outrage at the obvious.
No one's death should be celebrated. Then again, you could always...ignore.
I don't agree with Nazis or Black Lives Matter, but I'm glad they have the platform to speak.
And who decides what is "hate speech" anyway. Apparently the Leftist constantly believe they are of the lovey-dovey club? Horseshit.
If you've been in Hollywood long enough, they are the most vindictive angry insane losers on the planet who happen to make a decent living playing make believe. Yes, people in spandex suits making more than you and whining. Does this not make you sick to your stomach.
So recently, the case of Nelsan Ellis, the actor who struggled with alcoholism came up. Addiction killed this man young. To which actress Mayim Bialik stated how hateful and angry and racist the general public is. How we shit on someone who suffered so long.
Good. We should.
Not because it's the right thing to do, BUT...that this function exists. What Bialik doesn't understand is the venting process. The anger and the relief it takes to just...release all the pent up pissy-ness. She prefer that these fuckers online hold it in to take it out on REAL people? I've always considered the cyberspace to be and should be the anonymous venting machine (hence, my blog).
We're all angry trolls deep down inside (some more on the surface). The idea is that the world we know now is for the living. To think that piling on anger at people who are suffering the loss is up to you, it's foolhardy. What does she suggest is the solution? Oh right, Hollywood never has one. This is called "whining." But, I applaud her for sharing her outrage at the obvious.
No one's death should be celebrated. Then again, you could always...ignore.
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Get Off the Fucking Booze, Slowly
Actor Nelsan Ellis, age 39 died of what is essentially heart failure due to alcohol withdrawal. A lot of folks do die of DTS, which is rumored how Amy Winehouse went. A guy I'd made a movie with Wendell Middlebrooks most likely did as well.
It's hard to gauge an addict of alcohol if you see them function properly during the daytime. It's the worst. Having gone through a complete detox myself, which I STRONGLY encourage others not to do it cold turkey...it is a tough grind to get back to that place before booze. Trust me, it's a terrible boring stupid life. But it will make it longer.
A friend who is addicted to pain medication recently asked me how I got off the sauce. I didn't have a clear answer other than the thought of dying from liver failure seemed painful. There are better ways to die on your feet. I didn't have an answer for pills. Everyone is different. For me, being able to journal here has helped me tremendously. I think a lot of addiction is general may stem from...emptiness that is never fulfilled in us. Somewhere in childhood or so.
I've been reading a book that addresses this. And I don't want to get into details as I've not finished reading it, but for the most part, we are already predetermined by events of before unconscious life who we will become. It's not to take the entire blame off bad behavior, but it does explain feelings, loss, and anger.
If you put this into terms of society not understanding people who mass murder OR have the capacity to murder, it's because in our core, we have a sense of loss and must regain feelings. Feelings and emotion are trigger moments. Though sometimes temporary, they go into a well of other unfulfilled goals. These things add up to what we strive to always become...a perfect person. Which is wholly unrealistic. But has never made us not try.
Consider the addiction as a way to feel (but not obtain) that sense of grandeur (though temporarily). Drugs, alcohol or other things to distract the emptiness of supposed failure is masked in something that makes you feel accomplished. I never understood why I felt like my hair was blowing in the breeze on a yacht I didn't own when I drank. Or the comforts of memories of better times. These are backpedals to memories that are certain, written and exact. An unknown is frightening and is risky and is always best numbed if things go to ruin.
We constantly supplant our lives to conceal what is the truth. Which is we are imperfect animals. It's not enough to know intellectually, that doesn't help. We have to actually feel it. And that is the hardest when you keep it at bay with the drinking or drugs.
To my friend who suffers from painkiller medication...I have to say...that is a rough road. Since when the actual prescription runs out, there is something worse on the horizon. Street painkillers will end your life. It's ruined my hometown.
What is the solution? I'll let you now when I get to that chapter.
It's hard to gauge an addict of alcohol if you see them function properly during the daytime. It's the worst. Having gone through a complete detox myself, which I STRONGLY encourage others not to do it cold turkey...it is a tough grind to get back to that place before booze. Trust me, it's a terrible boring stupid life. But it will make it longer.
A friend who is addicted to pain medication recently asked me how I got off the sauce. I didn't have a clear answer other than the thought of dying from liver failure seemed painful. There are better ways to die on your feet. I didn't have an answer for pills. Everyone is different. For me, being able to journal here has helped me tremendously. I think a lot of addiction is general may stem from...emptiness that is never fulfilled in us. Somewhere in childhood or so.
I've been reading a book that addresses this. And I don't want to get into details as I've not finished reading it, but for the most part, we are already predetermined by events of before unconscious life who we will become. It's not to take the entire blame off bad behavior, but it does explain feelings, loss, and anger.
If you put this into terms of society not understanding people who mass murder OR have the capacity to murder, it's because in our core, we have a sense of loss and must regain feelings. Feelings and emotion are trigger moments. Though sometimes temporary, they go into a well of other unfulfilled goals. These things add up to what we strive to always become...a perfect person. Which is wholly unrealistic. But has never made us not try.
Consider the addiction as a way to feel (but not obtain) that sense of grandeur (though temporarily). Drugs, alcohol or other things to distract the emptiness of supposed failure is masked in something that makes you feel accomplished. I never understood why I felt like my hair was blowing in the breeze on a yacht I didn't own when I drank. Or the comforts of memories of better times. These are backpedals to memories that are certain, written and exact. An unknown is frightening and is risky and is always best numbed if things go to ruin.
We constantly supplant our lives to conceal what is the truth. Which is we are imperfect animals. It's not enough to know intellectually, that doesn't help. We have to actually feel it. And that is the hardest when you keep it at bay with the drinking or drugs.
To my friend who suffers from painkiller medication...I have to say...that is a rough road. Since when the actual prescription runs out, there is something worse on the horizon. Street painkillers will end your life. It's ruined my hometown.
What is the solution? I'll let you now when I get to that chapter.
Monday, July 10, 2017
Crushed Under The Thumb Of Despair
We make movies to express our displeasure with life. Sort of. A running commentary on where it went right or wrong.
Most filmmakers like Oliver Stone try to use it to bend thoughts and opinions. His new stance (which is probably his old stance) was "Hey lookit' how awful the powers that be are!" Michael Moore with intelligence.
I'm not sure where Hollywood got the idea to comment on society that is present. Since, most movies take months to complete. The hot topic may likely be moot at that point. I recall a movie called "Gentleman's Agreement" which had Gregory Peck pose as a Jew in order to stay at a hotel. You see the anti-semitism through a journalist's eyes. It's ugly, but seemed...diluted simply because it's Gregory Peck in which at any point he could just raise his hand and say "hey, pal...I'm not a Jew."
Brown people and foreign people in America must function different. We can't even fathom "experimenting" to see what White folk will do. It's not really...maybe the answer isn't what we want to hear.
Most filmmakers like Oliver Stone try to use it to bend thoughts and opinions. His new stance (which is probably his old stance) was "Hey lookit' how awful the powers that be are!" Michael Moore with intelligence.
I'm not sure where Hollywood got the idea to comment on society that is present. Since, most movies take months to complete. The hot topic may likely be moot at that point. I recall a movie called "Gentleman's Agreement" which had Gregory Peck pose as a Jew in order to stay at a hotel. You see the anti-semitism through a journalist's eyes. It's ugly, but seemed...diluted simply because it's Gregory Peck in which at any point he could just raise his hand and say "hey, pal...I'm not a Jew."
Brown people and foreign people in America must function different. We can't even fathom "experimenting" to see what White folk will do. It's not really...maybe the answer isn't what we want to hear.
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Space And
Some people think that being ignored means...anger. Resentment. Yes, all of that.
I call it giving space where it's needed. Manipulation of people is some people's sport. The anxiety and pain that people inflict on one another...it is damaging. For a very long time.
For me, my core is soft. Broken as one therapist would put it. The people-pleasing side is phony. The reality, I wanna scream. Because we do a lot of this shit for recognition from a mother that doesn't exist.
I am a co-dependent. So desperately sick and achy that someone doesn't approve of what I do. The social media has created more of this. Or created a platform to air all of it out. If I can't entertain or soothe, I'm no one. How sad is that? I spent a spell of time filling empty feelings. Wondering how I wasn't enough. And it all comes to a head when people either a) appreciates me for what I do, or b) has disrespected me.
This is awful. Awful when you run into people who will steam roll you. That sinking awful feeling that you weren't enough. From people you are desperate for approval from. A Mom who may worship you. Think about you. Consider you before others.
Most strong independent women in this world...will hurt you deeply. That's because if you are a weak male, there's nothing else that can fix that. I have to find a place to be fixed.
I call it giving space where it's needed. Manipulation of people is some people's sport. The anxiety and pain that people inflict on one another...it is damaging. For a very long time.
For me, my core is soft. Broken as one therapist would put it. The people-pleasing side is phony. The reality, I wanna scream. Because we do a lot of this shit for recognition from a mother that doesn't exist.
I am a co-dependent. So desperately sick and achy that someone doesn't approve of what I do. The social media has created more of this. Or created a platform to air all of it out. If I can't entertain or soothe, I'm no one. How sad is that? I spent a spell of time filling empty feelings. Wondering how I wasn't enough. And it all comes to a head when people either a) appreciates me for what I do, or b) has disrespected me.
This is awful. Awful when you run into people who will steam roll you. That sinking awful feeling that you weren't enough. From people you are desperate for approval from. A Mom who may worship you. Think about you. Consider you before others.
Most strong independent women in this world...will hurt you deeply. That's because if you are a weak male, there's nothing else that can fix that. I have to find a place to be fixed.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
A Little Pick-You-Up
I made the terrible mistake of drinking myself stupid for years.
Thus, my life struggles of working harder now rather than smarter.
I would hope that all you out there that struggle with some addiction get over it before the age of 30, because it's a terrible slog about 40. Residual effects are real, and painful. And, not to sound like a broken record, horrible to get over.
I suggest this for people who are suffering addiction...understand that people understand. I know...a lot of us come out as judgey. What an addict thinks is that they don't want to be or deserve to be judged by anyone. Which they really should be. A person with a mental disorder doesn't fully comprehend the full effect of their actions on others. I would treat addiction the same. Most people have pushed their friends away because of it. Or perceived that their friends would stop being their friends because they see addiction as weakness. Well, some will. Especially if they were in the trenches with you in the worst grip of it. Be strong. It's not easy, and won't be for a long time.
Lately there's an epidemic of middle class dying of meth or heroin overdose. This is because painkillers/opioids are an epidemic. Doctors prescribed and patient continues with something similar. I can't begin to imagine what that darkness must feel like. A lot of people, no matter what background they come from, have suffered over this. It sneaks up on you since it's pre-approved by doctors. Remember that all addiction is the same. If you can't handle drinking, you won't handle drugs.
I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but take care of yourself as much as you can. Rest, and genuinely let your body...dissolve into your bed. Feel the comfort of relaxing your body. Allow your mind not to worry or wonder what's next. The stress creates tension. And tension creates deeper pain. Center yourself into pleasant memories. Embrace those that are good for you. And be excited by what's in front.
Thus, my life struggles of working harder now rather than smarter.
I would hope that all you out there that struggle with some addiction get over it before the age of 30, because it's a terrible slog about 40. Residual effects are real, and painful. And, not to sound like a broken record, horrible to get over.
I suggest this for people who are suffering addiction...understand that people understand. I know...a lot of us come out as judgey. What an addict thinks is that they don't want to be or deserve to be judged by anyone. Which they really should be. A person with a mental disorder doesn't fully comprehend the full effect of their actions on others. I would treat addiction the same. Most people have pushed their friends away because of it. Or perceived that their friends would stop being their friends because they see addiction as weakness. Well, some will. Especially if they were in the trenches with you in the worst grip of it. Be strong. It's not easy, and won't be for a long time.
Lately there's an epidemic of middle class dying of meth or heroin overdose. This is because painkillers/opioids are an epidemic. Doctors prescribed and patient continues with something similar. I can't begin to imagine what that darkness must feel like. A lot of people, no matter what background they come from, have suffered over this. It sneaks up on you since it's pre-approved by doctors. Remember that all addiction is the same. If you can't handle drinking, you won't handle drugs.
I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but take care of yourself as much as you can. Rest, and genuinely let your body...dissolve into your bed. Feel the comfort of relaxing your body. Allow your mind not to worry or wonder what's next. The stress creates tension. And tension creates deeper pain. Center yourself into pleasant memories. Embrace those that are good for you. And be excited by what's in front.
Thursday, July 6, 2017
Stevie Ryan, Suicide
In the words of "Heathers" what a waste of great snatch.
I'm not sure who she is, but she's famous for being...a YouTube celeb.
Here's the thing...pupils don't touch eyelids=NUTS!
She hung herself in her home in Mid-City due to depression or other things. It was a terrible suicide, because as mentioned above, and also...she's so fucking young. What the Hell young people. Being angry and depressed with zero hope...that's not who you are. You're entitled asshats. Determined to be listened to. Like say...on YouTube.
What I know about depression with women: they could annoy the fuck out of Mother Theresa. To be honest, I WOULD annoy the fuck out of Mother Theresa, but women with depression most likely drove all her friends away. I know most of us want to be understanding, and crazy folk can't be reasoned with, but you have to come to terms about how annoying you are. I have.
Anyway, why was this news? Because she's young and pretty? What's her legacy here if it isn't just to be just a statistic?
Here's the thing...pupils don't touch eyelids=NUTS!
She hung herself in her home in Mid-City due to depression or other things. It was a terrible suicide, because as mentioned above, and also...she's so fucking young. What the Hell young people. Being angry and depressed with zero hope...that's not who you are. You're entitled asshats. Determined to be listened to. Like say...on YouTube.
What I know about depression with women: they could annoy the fuck out of Mother Theresa. To be honest, I WOULD annoy the fuck out of Mother Theresa, but women with depression most likely drove all her friends away. I know most of us want to be understanding, and crazy folk can't be reasoned with, but you have to come to terms about how annoying you are. I have.
Anyway, why was this news? Because she's young and pretty? What's her legacy here if it isn't just to be just a statistic?
Tupac And Madonna?
I had no idea. But then again, that was an era where people didn't go media crazy if Kardashian pooped in a forest. Or some terrible simile like that.
In a letter, actually romantically written by Tupac...it states that the reason he wanted to break up was because of the people who got him where he got to. In other words, the Black community would turn their backs on him. You can see this as racist or not, it's still kinda'...sad. Because he valued his career over love (or lust). Well, it's sad if you come from a painfully romantic place that it should conquer all.
The business brain in all of us say the same thing. Now if we flip the script and say what if Madonna had dumped Tupac due to his image would be a detriment to Madonna's career? In 1990's I think people would just shrug...yep. In 2017 people would burn her records and her mannequin in effigy.
Yes, peeps, we've gotten MUCH more intolerant. Like we've swung back so hard on not looking like bigots we've become bigger bigots, which admit it or not, most of the world is at this moment. The only thing putting a spotlight in our own race issues is because we broadcast our shit. China is racist as fuck, they don't broadcast. Trust me, NONE of their people would be social justice anything. And in case you think it's a communist thing, Spain promotes doing slanty-eyed gestures as a sign of...God knows what? This misplaced anger directed at America is laughable.
These two kept their relationships really undercover. Maybe B.E.T. knew, as a Black friend had mentioned. So, maybe Whitey just just kept out which validates Tupac's claim in the letter.
The best part...Tupac still wanted to be friends with her.
In a letter, actually romantically written by Tupac...it states that the reason he wanted to break up was because of the people who got him where he got to. In other words, the Black community would turn their backs on him. You can see this as racist or not, it's still kinda'...sad. Because he valued his career over love (or lust). Well, it's sad if you come from a painfully romantic place that it should conquer all.
The business brain in all of us say the same thing. Now if we flip the script and say what if Madonna had dumped Tupac due to his image would be a detriment to Madonna's career? In 1990's I think people would just shrug...yep. In 2017 people would burn her records and her mannequin in effigy.
Yes, peeps, we've gotten MUCH more intolerant. Like we've swung back so hard on not looking like bigots we've become bigger bigots, which admit it or not, most of the world is at this moment. The only thing putting a spotlight in our own race issues is because we broadcast our shit. China is racist as fuck, they don't broadcast. Trust me, NONE of their people would be social justice anything. And in case you think it's a communist thing, Spain promotes doing slanty-eyed gestures as a sign of...God knows what? This misplaced anger directed at America is laughable.
These two kept their relationships really undercover. Maybe B.E.T. knew, as a Black friend had mentioned. So, maybe Whitey just just kept out which validates Tupac's claim in the letter.
The best part...Tupac still wanted to be friends with her.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Abused Woman Is Murdered By Boyfriend
From Yahoo:
"A woman from Las Vegas who died of brain injuries after being beaten into a coma by her ex-boyfriend predicted her own death on social media.
Stella Martinez, 39, was attacked and choked on the ground in her back yard on 3 June by 41-year-old Christopher Wood, who had broken into her home, according to police. She died in hospital three weeks later...
...It has now emerged that Ms. Martinez had predicted her death online, recounting her failed efforts to get help from police in a series of chilling Facebook posts documenting the couple’s tumultuous relationship.
“I’ll be dead before (they) do anything,” she wrote in a Facebook comment in January...
“Although I have no doubt (you’re) still going to try to kill me but you will never find me,” she added.
Social media posts suggest the pair began dating around May 2016. They are in a number of photographs together throughout 2016 and can be seen in August and October exchanging expressions of love on each other’s pages.
But in January 2017, Ms. Martinez posted on Mr Wood’s page calling him a sociopath.
“I wish I never met you, I did everything for you,” she wrote, before accusing him of destroying her life. She added that she was calling him out on social media to take back her power and warn other women about him.
In one comment, she described failed efforts to seek help from authorities, saying police had taken his side in previous disputes and would not help her."
Okay, lady, in multiple statements you called the fuckin' animal names. Then you antagonize the psycho and now he beat you to death. You knew the guy, know what he's capable of, and STILL start poking? The reason cops COULDN'T help you is because you kept this shit up. And quite honestly, and sadly, it went too far. I'm sort of blaming the victim here, but in all honesty...let's try to get perspective about the monsters that we choose fights with.
Question one...do you think he would've continued to hurt you if you ignored and ran?
Question two...was it smart to say things like "...you will never find me" on social media.
Finally, can you not identify a nice guy over a thug who showers you with compliments and aggressively chases you? I mean, sorry they're boring as fuck, but at least they don't beat you to death.
"A woman from Las Vegas who died of brain injuries after being beaten into a coma by her ex-boyfriend predicted her own death on social media.
Stella Martinez, 39, was attacked and choked on the ground in her back yard on 3 June by 41-year-old Christopher Wood, who had broken into her home, according to police. She died in hospital three weeks later...
...It has now emerged that Ms. Martinez had predicted her death online, recounting her failed efforts to get help from police in a series of chilling Facebook posts documenting the couple’s tumultuous relationship.
“I’ll be dead before (they) do anything,” she wrote in a Facebook comment in January...
“Although I have no doubt (you’re) still going to try to kill me but you will never find me,” she added.
Social media posts suggest the pair began dating around May 2016. They are in a number of photographs together throughout 2016 and can be seen in August and October exchanging expressions of love on each other’s pages.
But in January 2017, Ms. Martinez posted on Mr Wood’s page calling him a sociopath.
“I wish I never met you, I did everything for you,” she wrote, before accusing him of destroying her life. She added that she was calling him out on social media to take back her power and warn other women about him.
In one comment, she described failed efforts to seek help from authorities, saying police had taken his side in previous disputes and would not help her."
Okay, lady, in multiple statements you called the fuckin' animal names. Then you antagonize the psycho and now he beat you to death. You knew the guy, know what he's capable of, and STILL start poking? The reason cops COULDN'T help you is because you kept this shit up. And quite honestly, and sadly, it went too far. I'm sort of blaming the victim here, but in all honesty...let's try to get perspective about the monsters that we choose fights with.
Question one...do you think he would've continued to hurt you if you ignored and ran?
Question two...was it smart to say things like "...you will never find me" on social media.
Finally, can you not identify a nice guy over a thug who showers you with compliments and aggressively chases you? I mean, sorry they're boring as fuck, but at least they don't beat you to death.
Fourth of Jooooo-lie
10PM pow! bang! crackle, crackle,crackle!
Yep, my street still had shit going on when I was about to go to sleep. Which says a lot about me if I can sleep through what is essentially gunfire.
4th of July is the only time in the year where we all collectively become rednecks. And become proud of the country by lighting shit on fire and drinking. Too bad it was on a weekday this year, so folks most likely took the 5th off.
I didn't get to see the fireworks which is fine, because I can hear them. Though I've never been all that interested in watching shit blow up, I wanted to blow shit up. So the fireworks never even interested me. The professionally done ones with the ooo's and aaah's seem trite now. It's that old man shitbag part of me, I suppose. Watching kids watch fireworks is probably much more interesting now. Because their brains can't wrap around how fire patterns are made in the sky.
I spent my 4th actually writing a screenplay with my friend. We sat by the pool with a grill going and talked story. Whilst neighbors came out and grilled along side us. It was REALLY productive and...actually relaxing. We pounded out a lot of scenarios that our stories could take as a faint sound of thunderbombs crackled in the background. Discussing movie ideas and laughing and grilling. That is truly the American way. By the way, we're a REALLY young country. 241 years since the Declaration. Think about that. Chinese are in the thousands. We're only two generations removed. My great grandmother lived past 100. She lived close to half the years this country was founded. That is ridiculous.
Yep, my street still had shit going on when I was about to go to sleep. Which says a lot about me if I can sleep through what is essentially gunfire.
4th of July is the only time in the year where we all collectively become rednecks. And become proud of the country by lighting shit on fire and drinking. Too bad it was on a weekday this year, so folks most likely took the 5th off.
I didn't get to see the fireworks which is fine, because I can hear them. Though I've never been all that interested in watching shit blow up, I wanted to blow shit up. So the fireworks never even interested me. The professionally done ones with the ooo's and aaah's seem trite now. It's that old man shitbag part of me, I suppose. Watching kids watch fireworks is probably much more interesting now. Because their brains can't wrap around how fire patterns are made in the sky.
I spent my 4th actually writing a screenplay with my friend. We sat by the pool with a grill going and talked story. Whilst neighbors came out and grilled along side us. It was REALLY productive and...actually relaxing. We pounded out a lot of scenarios that our stories could take as a faint sound of thunderbombs crackled in the background. Discussing movie ideas and laughing and grilling. That is truly the American way. By the way, we're a REALLY young country. 241 years since the Declaration. Think about that. Chinese are in the thousands. We're only two generations removed. My great grandmother lived past 100. She lived close to half the years this country was founded. That is ridiculous.
Tuesday, July 4, 2017
Justine Sacco: Freedom of Speech
I was watching a docu-thing called "Can We Take A Joke?" which near the end had this story about Justine Sacco.
I completely missed this phony outrage world vomit fest. Essentially she tweeted this before she boarded a plane...for perspective she had...70 followers:
"Going To Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!"
By the time she landed, 11 hours later, she'd lost her job and got death threats. Some even wanted her to get AIDS. Who gets AIDS anymore. It's not so much she was fucking around, but that she isn't a comedian. But I actually thought the tweet was funny. Because, unless you are absolutely unequivocally supremely retarded, you would not think she was just kidding. Monsters don't openly tweet things like that. They keep in the cut and silently try to give you AIDS. Sacco's life was ruined with a few fragmented sentences. And to this day, she is known as that person. What would satisfy social justice warriors? If she really did kill herself. Then you go on your merry way happy she is not on Earth. How noble of you.
So it brought into question outrage, humor and freedom of speech. Nowadays, say this blog for example, I'm certain if anyone gave a flying shit about me, I'd be an enemy of every organization. I'm no comedian, but I try my hardest to be, at the very least entertaining. That's what the world should want. What they want is to be the first to shut people down. Permanently. There is a moment in "The Majestic" with Jim Carrey where he is at a Congressional hearing of House Un-American Activities Committee and he is strained to tell them that they should just lighten the fuck up about who is or who isn't a Communist, because, honestly...he's just an entertainer. His political affiliation being seen as subversive is strictly to draw attention to the freedoms we have, as a human with the ability of communication. Today...HUAC isn't the government. It's us. We regulate ourselves. We snitch and call out one another. And we ruin each others' lives. You assholes who are so bent out of shape of people like Trump or Pence or whomever forget...the biggest regulators of speech now are your neighbors. Yet, it's bizarre this is strictly coming from the Left. A society who had prided themselves in the past of having free thinking, free speech and...just subversive language.
College campuses are now a no-fly zone because a slight or a hurtful comedy routine could send some students into epileptic shock. Never mind that it also creates conversation and debate. Most of these students believe, now...that a person doesn't have the right to say hurtful things. Or incendiary things. Or comment about society. Boy, has college changed. And why Trump got elected. Because the kids now can't stand a gut punch and are ill-prepared for society. Because that's all it is. One massive gut punch.
I write this blog mostly to spew out pain I've carried for a while. Or try to amuse people in the process. It has been therapeutic like you wouldn't believe. At the rate this is going, if it were ever to be taken from me, it would be soul crushing. It would mean that America isn't that which both sides are fighting for anymore. That we overlooked Constitution to placate people. That we have become worse than the terrorist that shot up Charlie Hebdo for drawing a fucking cartoon. We may not use bullets but we have assassinated a person for speaking anyway.
I completely missed this phony outrage world vomit fest. Essentially she tweeted this before she boarded a plane...for perspective she had...70 followers:
"Going To Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white!"
By the time she landed, 11 hours later, she'd lost her job and got death threats. Some even wanted her to get AIDS. Who gets AIDS anymore. It's not so much she was fucking around, but that she isn't a comedian. But I actually thought the tweet was funny. Because, unless you are absolutely unequivocally supremely retarded, you would not think she was just kidding. Monsters don't openly tweet things like that. They keep in the cut and silently try to give you AIDS. Sacco's life was ruined with a few fragmented sentences. And to this day, she is known as that person. What would satisfy social justice warriors? If she really did kill herself. Then you go on your merry way happy she is not on Earth. How noble of you.
So it brought into question outrage, humor and freedom of speech. Nowadays, say this blog for example, I'm certain if anyone gave a flying shit about me, I'd be an enemy of every organization. I'm no comedian, but I try my hardest to be, at the very least entertaining. That's what the world should want. What they want is to be the first to shut people down. Permanently. There is a moment in "The Majestic" with Jim Carrey where he is at a Congressional hearing of House Un-American Activities Committee and he is strained to tell them that they should just lighten the fuck up about who is or who isn't a Communist, because, honestly...he's just an entertainer. His political affiliation being seen as subversive is strictly to draw attention to the freedoms we have, as a human with the ability of communication. Today...HUAC isn't the government. It's us. We regulate ourselves. We snitch and call out one another. And we ruin each others' lives. You assholes who are so bent out of shape of people like Trump or Pence or whomever forget...the biggest regulators of speech now are your neighbors. Yet, it's bizarre this is strictly coming from the Left. A society who had prided themselves in the past of having free thinking, free speech and...just subversive language.
College campuses are now a no-fly zone because a slight or a hurtful comedy routine could send some students into epileptic shock. Never mind that it also creates conversation and debate. Most of these students believe, now...that a person doesn't have the right to say hurtful things. Or incendiary things. Or comment about society. Boy, has college changed. And why Trump got elected. Because the kids now can't stand a gut punch and are ill-prepared for society. Because that's all it is. One massive gut punch.
I write this blog mostly to spew out pain I've carried for a while. Or try to amuse people in the process. It has been therapeutic like you wouldn't believe. At the rate this is going, if it were ever to be taken from me, it would be soul crushing. It would mean that America isn't that which both sides are fighting for anymore. That we overlooked Constitution to placate people. That we have become worse than the terrorist that shot up Charlie Hebdo for drawing a fucking cartoon. We may not use bullets but we have assassinated a person for speaking anyway.
Monday, July 3, 2017
Sunday, July 2, 2017
"The Last Starfighter" (1984)
Let's get real here, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" owe this movie some royalty checks because it is tonally a masterful rip-off of this movie.
And "Stranger Things" and "Super 8," "Galaxy Quest" should also be paying these guys some dough. Or a block of these movies, since they all stole the "80's Panavision look" from this era. It's simple, shoot cinemascope using Panavision lenses. Cinematographers Allen Daviau, Vilmos Zigsmond, Nick McLean, and King Baggot all used this look.
Okay, tech shit aside, this movie is...well, in 2017, it's quaint.
Alex Rogan played by Lance Guest, is a teen-ish kid who lives in a trailer park. The people of this community seem sorta' misplace by life. To distract him from the banality of his life, he plays a video game called "Starfighter" He has a girlfriend who also lives in the trailer park named Maggie Gordon played lusciously by Catherine Mary Stewart (you know what they say about Catholic girls). Alex's dream of leaving entails that he needs to get a loan in order to attend a decent college and not the community college that usually awaits these people.
One fateful evening, while playing the video game, he charges up the neighborhood when he is about to beat the record. Forget the logic here, folks. You're in 1984 NOT 2017 now. The entire trailer park comes out to watch Alex beat the machine. This is like...in my hometown an opening of a new McDonald's draws out the community.
What Alex doesn't know is that the machine was actually created by a man named Centauri played masterfully by Robert Preston. He has been combing the universe to locate starfighters in an odd scavenger hunt of sorts. An almost Willy Wonka-esque weirdo. His discovery of Alex leads him to believe that he can save the universe from absolute collapse at the hand of...well, you'll have to watch.
"The Last Starfighter" is a charming fun movie. It's got a ton of problems for modern society, but it really made me miss the days when there wasn't much logic. Just that it had a solid heart. All the players in this movie do it with such sincerity it is impossible to hate the effort. A total shout out goes to Dan O'Herlihy who plays Alex's sidekick Grig. Not really a sidekick but perhaps...a mentor and ultimately friend.
"The Beguiled" (2017)
What does a remake southern gothic thriller look like in the hands of Sofia Coppola? Achingly beautiful exercise in who gives a flying fuck?
This movie, so says Sofia, is an adaption of Thomas Cullian's novel which is based on a screenplay. Sofia has admitted that they needed to get permission from Universal in order to make this flick.
The story is simple, an injured Union soldier is discovered by a young girl who then brings him to an all-girls boarding school in the south. The 1971 version was directed by Don Siegel and starred Clint Eastwood. And...man what a difference decades makes. This is a completely castrated garbage of a flick. And I would put my money on the fact that after Sofia saw the first one, she was so enraged by the misogyny, she had to correct what she thought was wrong. What she ended up making was a boring slog through her own bullshit.
First, Nicole Kidman is casted as Miss Martha. Sorry, not enough old age makeup could make her less appealing than Kirsten Dunst, who plays Edwina, the in-house long suffering and depressed teacher of these school girls.
Colin Ferrell plays Corporal McBurney, the injured soldier who charms them...without an ounce of charm. Not sure what women pass as charm other than being attractive...so he could read the Gettysburg address and they'd already be wet. Now who's misogynistic.
Their urges are supposedly re-ignited when man meets women. But there is not an ounce of primal lust in this movie. The balls Don Siegel had to add a lesbian dream sequence still sears in my mind. The lack of trust Sofia has to make it a catfight made this a ho-hum snore.
As McBurney, Colin Ferrell was useless. I mean...non-plusse. They could've put a dildo with eyes on a sweatsock and it would've had as much charisma as he was trying to push. Conversely, Clint Eastwood was wicked. You could tell he would fuck that 12 year old. His sexuality snaked through the women like electricity. Sofia assumed you'd already feel the urge because...well, because...it's Colin Ferrell, right ladies?
The single most offensive part of this movie...leaving out the raw nudity. Elle Fanning plays the same sex starved character as Jo Ann Harris in the '71 version. Elle is named Alicia in this one whilst Harris is named Carol. They are the sex kitten with insatiable lust. You know what this idiot Sofia Coppola did? She made this sex-kitten into a gold digger. Yes, in this characterization of this character...Carol/Alicia is viewed as a girl whose mother most likely told her that she needed to land herself a man at any cost. Rich if necessary (backstory told by Sofia in podcast). In the original, Carol could not ooze more sex through a bag of burlap. Jo Ann Harris made you pop a massive boner. She is suppose to be a fucking porn actress. Sofia casts Elle Fanning.
But she won the director's award at Cannes. Fucking dumb frogs. This movie was a terrible feminist mess of a movie, cloaked as art. I am interested in hearing a woman's perspective on it. I LOVED the cinematography. Lush and hauting. It looked and smelled like the woods I use to hang out in when I was a child.
Venus Williams: Killer
Venus Williams killed a 78 year old man (Jerome Barson) with her car on June 30th.
Because of her entitlement, she jumped ahead of a line in a lane that wasn't part of her right of way. Old people car got t-boned, and Jerome died 14 days later of head trauma.
Ouch.
I know I'm shitty for saying it, but these are cops' words. She was at fault for this tragedy. Now, having this happen in Florida, I almost get it. Old people driving can drive you fucking nuts. As emotional as Williams seems to be, it's not a stretch to believe she may have done this to edge the old people around her. The consequences were devastating, though assuming it wouldn't just been a scratch on her SUV.
People really weigh the consequences of their action later. Which, I guess isn't strange, because we really don't comprehend the pain we can afflict on complete strangers. I constantly think of it, which is why I do my best to dodge humanity. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Because of her entitlement, she jumped ahead of a line in a lane that wasn't part of her right of way. Old people car got t-boned, and Jerome died 14 days later of head trauma.
Ouch.
I know I'm shitty for saying it, but these are cops' words. She was at fault for this tragedy. Now, having this happen in Florida, I almost get it. Old people driving can drive you fucking nuts. As emotional as Williams seems to be, it's not a stretch to believe she may have done this to edge the old people around her. The consequences were devastating, though assuming it wouldn't just been a scratch on her SUV.
People really weigh the consequences of their action later. Which, I guess isn't strange, because we really don't comprehend the pain we can afflict on complete strangers. I constantly think of it, which is why I do my best to dodge humanity. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Road Rage
In Los Angeles, it's really easy to lose it in traffic or on each other. Strangely, in this town, people do accept the inconvenience. Armenians and Asians (funny they both start with "A") are total dicks behind the wheel. I try so hard not to be.
Bianca Roberson, age 18, got into a tiff with a guy in a pickup truck. Dumb bitch...yeah, I said it...dumb bitch, DON'T EVER FUCK WITH ANYONE IN A PICKUP TRUCK. This is common sense, because people with pickups have constant bad days. They are either helping people move or moving manure. That's (literally) a shitty day. So what did this idiot do? She was fucking around jockeying at high speeds to pass this dude. Essentially antagonizing an unstable person already.
Did she deserve to be shot and killed? Actually, yes. This means one less idiot with no common sense. Okay, she doesn't. But, when they find this dude (because there's now a manhunt) we're going to discover how unstable people in pickup trucks really are. Involuntary manslaughter is going to get this dude a nickel if he hadn't any priors. Gun possession...who knows. These asshole gun nuts probably want to throw the book at him because it's another reason why fucking idiots shouldn't own guns. And you know how defensive gun nuts get.
Bianca Roberson, age 18, got into a tiff with a guy in a pickup truck. Dumb bitch...yeah, I said it...dumb bitch, DON'T EVER FUCK WITH ANYONE IN A PICKUP TRUCK. This is common sense, because people with pickups have constant bad days. They are either helping people move or moving manure. That's (literally) a shitty day. So what did this idiot do? She was fucking around jockeying at high speeds to pass this dude. Essentially antagonizing an unstable person already.
Did she deserve to be shot and killed? Actually, yes. This means one less idiot with no common sense. Okay, she doesn't. But, when they find this dude (because there's now a manhunt) we're going to discover how unstable people in pickup trucks really are. Involuntary manslaughter is going to get this dude a nickel if he hadn't any priors. Gun possession...who knows. These asshole gun nuts probably want to throw the book at him because it's another reason why fucking idiots shouldn't own guns. And you know how defensive gun nuts get.
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Triangulation
I just learned of this term. It's terrible and have been doing it for years and not even knowing.
Years back when I was in college at Bowling Green State University, I worked at a mom and pop video store where a wife and husband owned it. They were divorced but still owned it together. There was friction that I never knew of. So, sometimes I'd inadvertently say things to the husband that I heard the wife say. For instance, that we couldn't put in movies that were rated "R" before 9PM. The smarter 22 year old would have been like "oh, who cares, let's just roll "PG" and under on the screens all the time. Who cares?" Instead, I went to the husband and told him the wife's rule.
This somehow caused friction between them for a while. The day I was fired from the job their reasoning was that I was attempting to pit them against each other. At first, there was no logical reason for this. I'd never been fired before. It was awful. Had so much resentment. Then, now as a 42 year old...I understand now. Triangulation is an attempt to get what you want by creating drama. You better believe hubby went back to wife and had it out. They were already hanging on by a thread in terms of good will. They didn't need no punk college kid to kick the whole thing down. Which is precisely what they thought I was doing. Which...it's their perspective. I didn't even know that was what I was doing.
It's a shitty person to be. And I find myself rounding up the troops again whenever I have a beef with someone. I despise this trait in me, and have no idea where it must come from. But...I will do my best not to do so in the future. It's not helpful and there are more fun things to do in life than to play war games.
Years back when I was in college at Bowling Green State University, I worked at a mom and pop video store where a wife and husband owned it. They were divorced but still owned it together. There was friction that I never knew of. So, sometimes I'd inadvertently say things to the husband that I heard the wife say. For instance, that we couldn't put in movies that were rated "R" before 9PM. The smarter 22 year old would have been like "oh, who cares, let's just roll "PG" and under on the screens all the time. Who cares?" Instead, I went to the husband and told him the wife's rule.
This somehow caused friction between them for a while. The day I was fired from the job their reasoning was that I was attempting to pit them against each other. At first, there was no logical reason for this. I'd never been fired before. It was awful. Had so much resentment. Then, now as a 42 year old...I understand now. Triangulation is an attempt to get what you want by creating drama. You better believe hubby went back to wife and had it out. They were already hanging on by a thread in terms of good will. They didn't need no punk college kid to kick the whole thing down. Which is precisely what they thought I was doing. Which...it's their perspective. I didn't even know that was what I was doing.
It's a shitty person to be. And I find myself rounding up the troops again whenever I have a beef with someone. I despise this trait in me, and have no idea where it must come from. But...I will do my best not to do so in the future. It's not helpful and there are more fun things to do in life than to play war games.
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