Film School Confidential

So I got this co-worker who usually comes out and does production art stuff for me. He doesn’t really do it, as he just brings what I ask him to. He does the very basic of what is asked. Even though he wants to do something creative. Hey fucker, you need to step up your fucking shit and take initiative or you won’t survive. Or he’s just not serious. Fucking sucks. Anyway…

…I randomly asked if he knew any train depots I could use for my next short film. Thinking he looks at stuff like this all the time. He came up empty. I had told him about places I’d looked at. Which is where he started in on me about it. He basically started telling me that part of the illusion of filmmaking is faking a lot of locations to fit the story. In other words use more than one location to fake two or three. Whilst his assessment isn’t wrong here’s my rub:

1) it costs me twice as much to find multiple locations, plus moving locations is also time.

2) I am very limited to what angle to shoot in

3) I didn’t ask for your thoughts on how to shoot the fucker

4)  How the fuck would this asshat know how to shoot a movie if he’s never shot a movie before. His answer: he saw it in some behind the scenes making-of bonus materials on a DVD.

Oh does this burn my biscuits. I’m so sick of people playing armchair producer/director. I wish for once ONE of these fuckers who says shit like this actually made a fucking movie. The ones who’ve gone through this NEVER offer these suggestions because they know that losing a location or not finding the right one is torture. A person who knows how productions work understand how much the logistics suck. They don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Or in this case, cram TWO locations into one.

In the past I’ve done that, but that’s when I had time, money and was an assignment so I had no choice. It works, but it’s a grind to everyone. Also, with film school sky was the limit. But someone who hadn’t gone through with that wouldn’t know.

My fellow film school friend found out the hard way when he tried to make a short film. A total nightmare not under the banner of school. Even though he had all our support. It’s just so much to deal with.