Drinking Again?

One of the most insulting things you can accuse an addict of something after they've cleaned up is that they are doing it again. As if you can't function without it.

I was a heavy drinker. When you mention this to people, the reactions vary. Most think it not to be a big deal. Since they're most likely also people who can function drunk. To teetotalers, it's a revelation. I guess I don't fit that drinker's mentality.

So it hurt a little when someone had expressed concern that I fell back to the bottle. Because I didn't react the way they wanted me to. Nope. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not drinking. But I am angry. And disappointed.

It cuts to the core, because they didn't reach out to you but relied on expressing it to someone else over it. And that's cowardly. I mean, honestly, I'd probably do the same thing, had it not been expressed to someone who I didn't consider part of the inner circle. But I guess we're letting everyone in now.

I'm a bit hurt that it was done behind my back, because I thought the person would know I had a lot more willpower than credited for. But it strikes at me as someone who didn't know me as well as I thought. Therein lies the resentment.