You think it would be a relief. All it was...a quiet soft landing. As I handed in the last of my association with this project, one that buried me in emotional rollercoaster for so long, came to an end tonight. A certain sadness in me that it most likely closes the book on a long term relationship that started over a decade ago. Connections are built on mutual...craft. Most of my closest friends have been incredibly generous with their time and energy in my art projects. Some linger longer than others. It doesn't always sit still and doesn't always need others. When we move on, it's a closed book. For the most part.
One of my closest friends lost someone recently. I met her in passing, but was blown away by her aptitude for...art. For the most part, when I showed my short film to people, they nodded...politely gave a little nudge of approval and that was it. For her, I was able to ask a bunch of questions. She spoke enough English to get the gist of the story. And I was VERY grateful for her input, as she reminded me that if I can tell a story with as little dialogue as possible, I was closer to my goal as a filmmaker than I've ever been. Since these were the stories my Father and I loved watching. Stories told by pictures.
As I've been reminded, and sorry for piggybacking on you if you read this, we are fleeting moments to one another. Permanence is STILL momentary and the appreciation people need to have for one another, for THEIR existence is essential for us to have sanity. That we are guided by one another and respected for craft. I suppose I get really sick when I think people haven't made the most of their lives. When it ends...it ends. And resentment and anger and fear, what was it all worth. Sure I can say that but I still have to feel it.
I know affirmations have always not sat the best with me, but here goes, NEVER allow anyone who won't meet you halfway to guide your life.
So, I will take my soft landing and close the chapter in fond memories.
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