Appreciation

We spend a lot of time trying to earn the appreciation of complete strangers.
Why?
The logic would be that you only care about the people who care about you. This is untrue. And unfortunate of the human condition. The reality is, people who love us or care for us...we don't aspire to impress them. Because that wears thin.

My college girlfriend no longer had to try to keep me. Having someone that was as clingy as I was, of course people are turned off. They don't earn your respect. Because you become a doormat. Which is where it all becomes a blob. People do not meet you in the middle do NOT care about you.

And the more you try to get that back, the worse it fails for you. A complete stranger is exciting because they want you to like them. Earn their presence. A person who is in your satellite becomes...dull. And that is the terrible thing about relationships is that the closer you get the further apart you are.

I feel like I lost a loved one. And there isn't much to do to get that back. The way things were before. The way I wish they were. It's a sad day for me. Just sad.