Bey & Breb Blobster

I didn't have a stroke. It's just funny to mispronounce things.

Beyonce’s Red Lobster shout out in her new song "Formation" cracks me up.

The gist of it is if you fuck her good, she’ll get you some chain restaurant seafood. I admit the biscuits are good. But with her dime, you think she’d be better suited for…say…Joe’s Crab Shack. Though I don’t recall them having biscuits.

I think it’s a pretty good message, regardless. You bang a thick woman good, she should pick up the tab every once in a while. In fact, this shout out gave a boost to Red Lobster’s sales. By some say 30%. It’s kind of weird…Red Lobster. To me, it’s always been trashy seafood. The last time I was there, was after a spec commercial spot I did with my friend Lauren. I suggested after the shoot, I take her wherever she wanted. She wanted Red Lobster. I missed out on the fucking part though. Man, she’s a cupcake. And the time before that was in Maryland with my (then) girlfriend. I met her grandparents there. Let me repeat that, we went to a Red Lobster IN Annapolis. The Chesapeake is about ten feet from where we were. Their specialty and what everyone recommends is the Maryland crab cakes. But, here we were at a Red Lobster (to be fair, her grandparents were from New Mexico, and I was fucking her, and she was picking up the tab, so…how prescient were we?).

I find it funny that the smallest most insignificant thing can be blown up to this proportion. I sincerely doubt we are this suggestible, but…maybe the proof doesn’t lie. I mean Oprah’s book club practically reset the illiteracy rate in fat bored housewives.

I did a very odd music video for Beyonce a few weeks ago. It is both a period piece and it takes place in Louisiana’s Mercedes Benz Super Dome. I’m not sure what it was for. Possibly to show during her tour? It had her Black Panther dance squad. They’re really pretty. An anthology thing maybe. The video look like they spent a ton of cash though. Which…I’m sure is going to be viral somewhere. You know, I did this crazy project for Rhianna too, last year some time. The video was BRUTAL. She’s bloody and naked up on some Los Angeles hill overlooking the city. Man, dames get really nutty.