Ku Klux Klan Rally In Anaheim

3 counter-protesters got stabbed by Ku Klux Klan dudes.

Yes, in 2016, there are White supremacist who march for rights of Caucasians. I think specifically German Caucasian. I think that shit has got to go. As with the Black Panther movement. Anything that has this very specific color barrier is bad for everyone.

You know, people should really keep themselves busy with making stuff. If you're doing something, you tend not to think about how much trouble you can get yourself into. When I was at my most bored, it usually led to drinking, which led to getting into trouble.

So, to all those who belong to a hate group, or hate people keep yourself busy, so that hate translates to...something. Anything.

I'm convinced the biggest issue between our cultures are the inability to express ourselves artistically.

Oscar : In Memoriam

You only have to know they left off Abe Vigoda & Roddy Piper to understand how these shows tick. The slow itch to get David Bowie face time. And again snubbing Natalie Cole in the process. Go fuck yourselves, show producer...

Oscar-Vations

If you ever want to see how "high school" Hollywood is, re-watch it when Stacey Dash walks into this crowd.

Oscar so white.

Have you ever met a Black guy named Oscar? It’s an old Jewish name.

They should rename it, OscarssoMexican…because that Innaritu dude is kicking our asses.

God, don’t you wish for the old days of Oscar where the pre-show didn’t take fucking forever.

I have to drive through this fiasco tomorrow morning as I cross the boulevard to get to work.

Did you know Joel Silver fucked Sharon Stone? Can you guess what movie she did it for?

Sly’s wife is smoking hot.

It looks like a high school prom. Real glamour is dead. Even phony glamour is dead.

Whoopi’s chest tattoo is stretch so wide that dragon she got, looks like a road map of Italy.

Charlize Theron is tit-less. What happened? Oh, right, Sean Penn.

Russell Crowe is not an interesting person.

Opens with a retrospect of movies this year. How horrid was this year?

Danish Girl with Tracy Jordan…”This Danish good, girl!”

Sarah Silverman=Carrot Top shoulder workout.

God, will they ever stop with the best song performances? It’s not entertaining. When was the last Bond song that lost? Fuck, I think Madonna even won for that trainwreck “Die Another Day.”

Alicia Vikander. Hard to decide which in this catergorie’s boobs is the best. Rooney & Kate Winslet have nice ones.

Costume designer for “Mad Max” has the yellowest teeth ever. I love it! “Mad Max” is cleaning up in terms of technical stuff. Barf. This must be to stick it to Mel Gibson.

So they can show DiCaprio put a flame to an open wound but…they blur out nipples on “Sliver”? Fuck this world.

Chivo Lubezki wins for the third time for cinematography for “Revenant.” What garbage. Hey assholes, if water hits the lens…in a frontier environment…that means technology is in that world. The illusion is DEAD. “Carol” was an achievement. As was Robert Richardson working in Ultra-Panavision. Re-done glass from the late 60’s. Incidentally, Chivo’s win for “Birdman” was beyond ridiculous. Video camera ridiculous.

The Academy wouldn’t know good sound editing if it sat on its face and farted. Neither would I. It only makes sense that one of the sound mixers that won have massive ears. Biggest I’ve seen. Ever.

“Ex-Machina” beats out “Star Wars” for visual FX? Right.

What’s the “Mad Max” jag. I really don’t get it.

“Inside/Out” won for animated. Zzzzzzzz...great acceptance speech though. If you feel sad, make something. Make art. Great advice.

You fucking assholes who went to see “Fifty Shades of Gray”…ahem..women. Eat shit and die. There’s two more movies for you sad idiots. Thanks.

Chris Rock goes to Compton to ask about “White” movies to which no Black person he interview has heard of them. That’s more telling about Black folk’s sense of diversity. Backfire.

Mark Rylance wins for “Bridge Of Spies”? Huh? I liked the movie. Was his performance that great? Not really. This is odd. Stallone looked pissed.

Louis CK had a great point about documentary short. Middle Eastern woman winner just shits on it all. Nice. You must be full of joy.

Asian kids as accountants with Jewish names? At least they’re trying.

Doug Slocombe, Haskell Wexler and Vilmos Zigsmond, cinematographers honored in Memoriam. I was lucky to meet Vilmos. Director Richard Glatzer gave me my first job out of film school.

The fuck is Biden doing at the Oscars? Oh to talk about on-campus rape? Jesus you cock knocking shitbag Mr. Obvious, it’s called college. Fuck these people.

 “Son Of Saul” wins for foreign film. No big surprise. It’s about the holocaust. Just think if it were about the nuclear holocaust...Mad Max.

Lady Gaga singing about…I’ve no idea. This generation’s Babs Streisand. Oh good god…standing ovation and tears for her song? This is like one of those church tents. Christ, does Hollywood really love themselves.

Ennio Morricone won best score. Lifetime Achievement award. Nominated 6 times. Finally won. All good.

Ali G and Olivia Wilde. Her side and front boob trumps his bit.

The audience of rich actors clapping for political statements…about how shitty they are. Do the assholes in there know THEY are the problem? That’s how stupid they are.

Alejandro blow hard speech about diversity, when he’s raking in awards for his subpar movies…as a Mexican. Nice.

I really want “Mad Max” to win Best Picture so these asswipes in tuxedoes would walk out with their mouths open.

Charlize's evil stare...wearing $3.5 million of diamonds. THIS...this people is why I hate these people.

Anyway, will you be in my movie?

Don't Ever Fuck With Old Actors

I have a friend who just made a movie with a very well known actor. He's been around forever. He will never work with him again. He was labeled a tough actor to deal with. As young-ish folk, we laugh at the immobile oak. As filmmakers you MUST respect their experience.

Don't EVER fuck with older actors. They've done this forever and know if you're a joke. Chances are, unless your name is Scorsese, they think you're a newbie. The best thing to do in this situation is to listen. You DON'T direct them. That's rule numero uno. Don't ever change the script. That's rule number two.

I'm not completely sure the reasoning of this, other than the older actors prepare what they know. When you change things, the dynamics for them change and they have to re-prepare. Who wants to do something twice. The issue is that it also seems so loosey goosey. That means you're not serious. I would never attempt to "get the meaning" of a script to someone like Gene Hackman. He's GENE FUCKING HACKMAN. So, there is the respect aspect as well. The minute you talk to an older actor you are working backwards. I cannot stress this enough. Think of them as old women at a convalescent home. Coddle, cater, let them move at their will, clean up after them.

You are at their mercy. But also bask in their respect. It's good to remember this, as difficult as they may be.

Trapped In Your Own Head

Do you feel trapped in your own head?

Sometimes...I got too much going. I think if I had a family, a lot of those random thoughts become...action. Action is moving. Or preoccupation without knowing you're thinking. Moving is doing. Doing is better than not.

I am simultaneously doing a lot, and doing nothing. It's really aggravating because I want to do more. Or I'm just thinking about doing more. I read a lot to keep the brain active. I hate watching stuff. Watching movies and t.v. means I'm not MAKING t.v. or movies. Than I start to think.

Just have to keep busy.

How Did You Get Here?

Not something I wanted to hear from a mechanic.
Something was feeling really off with my car. I thought it was the transmission. Hearing odd noises. I looked under my car and saw...threads...like stringy as you would from a mop.
I took it to the mechanic...

"Well, see the bushing for your shift plate?"
"yeah" I lied.
"There's nothing left."
"Whaddya' mean, nothing left"
"Like, all you got is just some rings and some thread. That's what you were seeing underneath the car."
"Oh, that sounds bad."
"Bad?! I was talking to the other guys...we don't know how you got here."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, how did you even drive the car"
"I just drove it here."
"Look, the disc that holds...you felt some shuddering right?"
"yep. And the shifting felt weird."
"...that disc that holds the rings to the crank shaft spins. It's gone. Like nothing is left."
"Shit."
"Oh yeah. We're all surprised the car moved."
"I just drove it down the street and around the bend. Maybe on the freeway for a few" I muttered that last part. He seemed agitated.
"No, bud-dy..." he scratched his bald Palestinian head "...you don't understand...you married?"
"Nope."
"Someone was looking out for you..." he now spoke in a low tone "...that crank shaft falls, hits the ground and pops back up, it goes through your floor then your asshole."
"Shit!"
"Dead...Pfft.." he slashed his throat. Made more sense to cover his bunghole.
"Dead?"
"Or have a really bad day, buddy." he was shaking his head "You should really believe in God."

I love Middle Eastern senses of humor.

Brewster's Millions To Make Movies

It doesn’t matter if it’s a studio movie or a independent or self-financed movie, money is ALWAYS tight. The issue is that people seem to make the production fit the budget. No matter what. If you were given $100 million to make a movie, chances are, you’d use that much. People must have a fiscal mentality. As if given money to make something, IF you don’t spend it, they’ll be convinced you can do more with less. Guess what? The reality is sequel budgets are about 90% certain you will get LESS money to make a movie. I know, I know…bullshit! It goes against any logic you can think of. Why would they spend LESS money to make a movie after the first one did so well. A few things…1) the star is most likely going to eat up a bulk of it 2) audiences will show up no matter what. 3) original director will want more money. You know, for the longest time, first time directors were given ten percent of the budget. If it were $100,000 to make, you get $10,000 of that. If the movie broke the bank, the director will have felt slighted by a tiny paycheck. In terms of a return, it’s also to stretch out the franchise money across many movies. Wring the wet rag.

I often say, that if someone gave me $50 million to make a movie I wouldn’t know what to do with it. People scoff “yeah, you would.” No. I wouldn’t. I’d pay people to make a movie. That’s not the same as making a movie. What would be the difference between handing $50 mil to a corporation to build a franchise machine, and say…the guy who gave me the $50 mil in the first place. I would be the middle man. And quite honestly, the sole person blamed if anything went wrong. So then I’d be a goat as well. That’s the odd balance of filmmaking. Doing what you love, care about vs. the commerce. The easiest, most heart touching thing you could do is the make a movie about your family. The HARDEST thing would be to make them interesting where people would pay to go see it.

The Old Film Git

I am a film whore. I mean, film film. Like negative. Kodak film whore.

I will spend money I don’t really want to spend, to stockpile film. I’m not sure why, since I wouldn’t be described as a hoarder. But by definition a person who collects a lot of anything with the notion it may be needed in the future is a hoarder.

Anyway, so I traded my services as a film scanner for…film. I’d want to call it free. But it’s not. Technically, my services would cost well over tens of thousands of dollars. If I don’t do a lot of this pro bono for friends anyway. This was a dude I met on a forum talking about film.

I was the first to approach this deal. You got some rawstock, I can scan film that you’ve already made. See, he’s a director. And without being a total jerk, he’s a TERRIBLE director. A great filmmaker, terrible director. I’ve done this for him before. Scanned a print. Even though I asked him for the original camera negative. I was entrusted with a movie that took place in a galaxy far far away, you think I could be trusted with an under $1 million project of this dude who used his wife as a cameraman. I applaud his ingenuity, bristle at the demands.

He is very much like me. Except in his 70’s. Most likely would trade his home (which I’m sure he did) his family, and everything not nailed down to make movies. His sacrifice, I will never know. But I do know the importance of what everything means to him. Note: A Fucking Lot! I put myself in his position. Would I feel comfortable handing my baby to a stranger, in hopes that stranger doesn’t drown it in a bath?

So I get an email relenting his project for me to do a little at a time. He’s not allowed to supervise due to our massive security issues in place. It’s an industry to steal movies if you aren’t Disney or Marvel or…wait, they’re the same people. The email is…well, kinda’ charming at the same time pathetic. He basically reveals that he trusts me not to copy his movie to a drive and attempt to sell online.

Charming, in that he trusts me, pathetic that I would even consider selling his steaming pile of shit. It’s shit. But it’s his shit…I mean dream. And therein lies the truth of movies. We really have to be honest with our abilities. Or you become a 70 year old man paranoid of people trying to rip off your garbage. I’ve better things to do, such as…make my own steaming pile of shit. But…it’s ridiculous that he’s still in that mindset, people are this unscrupulous in this town. I don’t blame him. As I’ve said in the past, people here are shitbags. To turn a quarter from a penny is enough reason to do something. And we’re illogical when it comes to ripping off a steaming pile of shit. In war, bullets have no names. In movies, steaming piles of shit have no fingerprints.

The Death Of The Department Store

I remember riding a bus to go downtown with my Mom to a Woolworth's. The old soda fountain station was still stuck in a corner somewhere, but collecting dust. It was in the city, which at that point, had been overrun by low income housing. So the displays, which were once grand...were scattered roughshod everywhere. The stuff that was still on the shelf were broken. I miss shopping for toys. I thought, at that age, I would NEVER stop shopping for toys.

The closing of a Kohl's and the collapse of the department store really kills me. Mostly, because it proves we're lazy fucking people who would rather things come to them via Amazon.

It's a quaint thought now. But leaving your home and going to a store is going to disappear. And we're going to regret it.

The Production Meeting

The production meeting is always a crap shoot. There’s a scene in “American Movie” where they meet at a Denny’s/Perkins/diner and discuss the intent of the project with each other. They are clearly out of their league, since the director enjoys acting like a director rather than actually directing. I’ve been that guy on my first movie.

My most recent one was interesting, in that I have very little to do. When the logistics of the shoot, which covers a lot of pages in 3 days, I bristle at what might transpire. The general rule is to listen and figure out what the game plan is. Then the round table tears apart what can go wrong. My own personal feelings are, I don’t want anything to go wrong on my watch. Even if my investment in it is simply to be helpful. And, yes…needed. The biggest complaint, I think any technician feels is just to be a cog in a wheel. In big budgeted studio pictures, it’s not that big of a deal. You get paid union rates, go home and support your family. Not too many people dream of making the next step. Unless it’s a pay raise. Grips are construction workers and fine by it. There have been generations of them…drive through Burbank , California. Those houses are paid for by union grip money.

For me, smaller productions means you are more invaluable. And that feels better than a paycheck (for now, anyway). I think that’s why Russell Carpenter A.S.C., Oscar winner for “Titanic” shot my friend’s short film. Those studio movies, he’s paid more than people make in a year. Does he get the personal satisfaction? Doubt it. He’s paid that much to do what he does best, so there’s only a downside. On a small movie, like my friend’s, he’s the mentor, savior, jewel she can’t do without. There’s no price tag on that. And yeah, you’re probably thinking I’m some schmuck who believes in being a mensch. But it’s real. Going back to your roots, sort of way. In those days, everyone did everything. You picked up an apple box when you pick up an apple box. You plugged in a light when you had to. Rigged things to other things. It’s the essence of pure community. In the studio movies, fuck that. I’m not even allowed to move my own apple box. A grip has to do it. So says the union. Great in theory, HORRID in practice.

To me, I can see those big dog cameraman revisiting the days of slugging it out in the trenches day in and day out. Those were the ones they felt most exhilarated. That they were part of the movie. As the control of a movie is slowly removed from the true artist, more of these old timers will most likely return to their passion. Being renaissance people, money be damned.

The Director

The perception of directing probably is that cool suit and tie guy sitting behind the camera doing take after take, calling “action” and working intensely with actors. I don’t think that’s all that accurate. If cast right, you really shouldn’t say much to the actor. In fact, you risk doing more harm than good whenever you speak. Speaking for myself, of course. I think observing people is the best way to go about directing. If you don’t find people interesting, don’t make movies.

I think there is a funny affectation that goes with directing a movie. A lot are spending these days fearful of being spotted as a fraud. For the young guys, it’s “he doesn’t deserve this” for the older guys, I think it’s tougher. Each picture means it has to be the same or better than his last. Otherwise, his whole life has been a stroke of luck. There is a mania that goes into making a movie, and most director’s eyes go into this trance. Or thousand yard stare most people who experience war feel. Production people see it in other production people. I can tell within a few minutes who has been through the ringer of this business. Here’s a hint, the newbies smile.

If you read any books on directing, the sole purpose of directing is to make sure the vision in your head goes onto the screen and that you lead the audience through your story clearly. Oftentimes that does mean treating people like children. I mean, you tell stories to kids and you make the fire engine sounds and other noises to get their attention. Is this the right attitude? Depends. You can rely on the intelligence of the collective mass, but that is a limited audience.

The sole purpose of directing a movie is to be a storyteller. An interesting thing that happen that you want to share. Or a human condition you like to explore to embrace people with similar issues. It’s to communicate with others. The skill set is first and foremost, to understand behavior. I don’t really like David Lynch, but his movies are all about witnessing people AGAINST behavior. Which is interesting in its own right. You know, it’s not easy knowing how the buzzy ants of this world think. That’s why comic book movies are so popular. Everyone can get behind a guy in a rubber suit kicking ass. And it’s never been as clear now the Hollywood money grab. Unfortunate for the director who helms a project that is forced to include storylines to fit a Big Gulp cup. I guess universally, people have ventured into a 7-11 here and there. But, I say, stay true to your story. I wouldn’t even say “vision”…too corny. Be honest with what type of movie you want to make. The best ones went from the heart (I feel). Bergman, Coppola, Scorsese, Truffaut, etc… If you’re going to get into directing, just study behavior. The rest will work itself out.

Robert Wuhl On Oscar Voting

On "Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast" actor/writer/raconteur explains how he votes for the Oscars. Yes, he makes no beef about being honest. He's also an old White Dude. Which I find to be hilarious. What he won't vote for:
1) no rookies
2) no children
3) British people
4) he will vote for his friends. Means they will get a lifetime of health care

Does this have ANYTHING to do with performance? Fuck no! It has to do with helping his friends out. And quite honestly, and this is something I've ALWAYS agreed on, his Dad sort of kicked it to him...how can someone be the "best" anything one year and not the best the next? In other words, there is no fucking such thing as Best anything in movies.

And then we get a little history on what the Oscars really meant back in the 20's. It was to kill unions. A group of people met in a restaurant to tell each other they will take care of each other. A gentlemen's agreement per se. We will take care of all the work, the movies, the health, dental, etc... why unionized? Then they gave out trophies to pat themselves on the back. In a sense, a bribe to stop it from unionizing. In the present day, it's to add more money into a movie's value. Hence the push to win Oscar which spends (I'd say the budget of a action film) money to win...winking at you Bob Weinstein.

Why the fuck would you want to be involved in that?

Working Constantly

You know...I bet it's near impossible for people like Jennifer Lawrence or Denzel Washington or directors like Zack Snyder or Christopher Nolan to stop working. Ever.

The general consensus of busy people is that they aren't busy...they're lazy. These people hop from one movie to the next. We're talking 12-16 hour days on a set. With catering, dry cleaning and dodging papparrazi. Even on my down time, or that hurry-up and wait mentality, I get antsy. I start doing odd projects. Or try to write. But I physically feel if I'm not moving, it's confining. There's just so much left in life I've left to do. And want to do.

I get it may not be so...constrictive if you have people around. A daily list of things to do helps plan what you have going. Though planning too much and hitting a wall may also be daunting. I envy those who are moving and hustling. I don't have the energy. Which is the worst scenario. You have the ambition but not the energy.

A lot of ol' timers will tell you to extend your life, so go slow. I dunno. It seems sort of...counter intuitive to us as temporary tenants of Earth. The ability to slow down isn't a bad thing, to maybe enjoy life. But what if your enjoyment means you are on project to project. The downside being, you never get to reap the rewards of your work. Or bask in the complete glory of your accomplishments. I think that's what a lot of Lifetime Achievement awards are met with sadness. It means the books are closed on "achievements" even though you don't feel that way. Can you imagine any other craft that celebrates the breadth of your work?

Voluptuous Women

Marilyn Monroe died when she was just 36. If you think about the lifespan of people today, that would’ve been just the beginning. Women are having kids closer to 40 now. Obviously she had mental issues that probably cut her life short.

It got me thinking about the body image of women. We’re talking at the very least the 60’s (when Marilyn died) that we dudes love a voluptuous woman. Guess what? Kate Upton proves that again.

So what’s with all these women starving themselves to be rail thin like supermodels? Fuck if I know. Except maybe it’s really about making other women jealous. Or wanting guys to desperately desire them. To impress other women. I get that. We try to earn money, so we can get a car so we can impress women. Most women would say “why bother…it’s not the car.” Same set up. We don’t fucking believe them, so we keep trying to earn money or, at the very least, appear rich.

It does boggle my mind though. I don’t recall Marilyn ever doing any physical activity. It very well might be that her drug cocktails and boozing kept her from eating. You’d think a lot of it would’ve translated to her face. Baggy eyes, tired look, paunch…but it didn’t seem to effect her. I wouldn’t say they knew more about vitamins and medication then than they do now, but I would call that pretty miraculous, considering heavy drinkers and pill poppers do have a specific look.

I also wonder what Monroe would’ve looked like today. I mean, if she ever made it to grandma mode. I don’t know if she would’ve had that same status like Katherine Hepburn had. Maybe she would’ve settled down into a quiet life of someone like Jane Russell. Became a staunch Republican, bought property in the valley and disappear. She would’ve kicked ass on the Friar’s Club Roast, I think.

Again, I think about these icons that walked the Earth at one point. I can’t see today’s stars getting that same reverence. We just know too much. And…we KNOW to much. Can you imagine what they would’ve thought of the world today? A simple reminder being that they left their hand prints in concrete at Grauman’s Chinese Theater. You see Marilyn’s tiny hands, and you wonder what she was thinking about when she was given this honor:

Manny Pacquiao's Anti-Gay Statement

What hypocrites we are.
Nike recently dropped Pacquiao for his inflammatory remarks about homosexuals.
Though he did it with free speech &...um...under the umbrella of religion. This trumps any fucking garbage gays want to throw at him or this, supposed, slight on his belief of the unnatural system of homosexuality.

I could care less what homosexuals do. But he's allowed to share his opinion. Obviously cost him millions but for Nike to claim is was "...abhorrent' remarks, well...Nike...GO FUCK YOURSELF. You overpriced-child-labor-Vietnamese exploiting assholes want to throw stones. Really? This is to placate the fat stupid Americans who can't just dismiss his views (but giddy to sell garbage to Americans with the empty promise of exercise..gimme a break). How does it effect the boxing or the money he generates? Doesn't. But you guy stand on a massive soap box and declare what is abhorrent and what is not?

IF you chase the dollar...THIS garbage is what you have to deal with. Scared fucking losers in Oregon who are the worst offenders in terms of human indignities. Their explanation is their explanation. But, just say you cut ties and move on. To take a stance on what he said...fuck you twice, Nike.

I hope they go bankrupt. Their shit sucks balls anyway. Speaking of which...

"Here's The Thing..." With Alec Baldwin

Let’s be clear, making movies is a collaborative effort. You need a lot of people to make something. If you don’t like dealing with people, being a filmmaker might not be your bag. And in today’s technology, it might not be your cup of tea.

I was listening to Alec Baldwin’s “Here’s The Thing…” podcast. Great interviewer, as Alec doesn’t give a flying fuck about most things. He likes to be a hothead Irish bully. It’s mental, which I think could be attributed to alcoholism. Maybe. I was listening to the Mickey Rourke interview. That guy has had some serious issues. And you get an insight as to why he was the fastest guy to get into The Actor’s Studio. He approached acting, like he did boxing. He had to be the best, which requires a ton of practice. I was more interested in his disgust for today’s filmmakers. Here’s a guy who’s worked with Francis Coppola, Adrian Lyne, Michael Cimino, Darren Aronofsky and so forth, and he’s just done with the Hollywood machine. He hates this fucking town as much as I do. But we both dance with the devil. I understand, to the extent, his psyche. That people who don’t appreciate the craft as seriously as you do, should suffer. But instead, in this town they thrive. Very little now, in terms of making movies, requires a single minded director (I think was the gist of his disgust). I agree. It’s a factory product now. And Rourke would rather (if it paid the same) be a factory worker than work for the machine Hollywood is now. The movies today are made by kids for kids, with no real backbone to stand up to what you believe in. Look, he’s not throwing stones, as to who gave him a way of life. It’s just funny to hear he spew out hatred I’ve often felt myself. The substance and heart of movies has been gutted. I’m not quite sure how he earned his respect in terms of every studio would love to have them in their movie. He spits on the hands that reach out, yet they want him more. That could be a lesson to be learned. Care about your work, the people will find you. Excel and train yourself rather than worry about box office success. All the oddball respected actors function the same. Crispin Glover, for one off the top of my head.

My point?...study your history. The craftsman of the past were highly respected because they cared about their product. In the podcast, Rourke was talking to Cimino about all the bad reviews he got for “Year Of The Dragon” (which I think is a really underrated movie). The situation was a nightmare for Cimino, considering he had practically bankrupted MGM/UA over “Heaven’s Gate.” Cimino doesn’t read any of his reviews. Good or bad. His position is that reacting to complete strangers’ assessment of your work doesn’t do anyone any good. MAYBE the audience. More so back in the 80’s than now. But if you accept the good reviews you also have to accept the bad. I can’t remember the last time Cimino directed anything. But whatever, “Deer Hunter” was bad ass.

I think it goes with my hatred for digital cameras. People get into the mindset that the newest is the best. The best will make you great movies. Obviously this is not true. If it makes it easier, sure…but professionals use professional gear…and that’s to say professional gear is available for amateurs, since everyone has jumped ship (on a daily basis) for the newest. The camera I own now has been used to shoot classic movies of the past. I haven’t polled too many people about their gear, but back in my day, we always loved knowing which gear people used because we wanted to be like our mentors/heroes. These days, it seems no one studies their predecessors, because now, younger folk seem to know more than anyone else. The battle to push forth left a massive gap for respect for what came before us. We’re about 15-20 years out from when the first digital camera shot a major release movie. I’ve yet to sense the new generation pick the brains of previous cinematographers for their wisdom. It just doesn’t mean all that much in the digital world. And that’s a shame. In terms of Rourke’s disgust for this new generation, I think a lot does ride on the effort it takes to make a movie the traditional way. I agree wholeheartedly. You have to REALLY want to make something that matters to shoot on film. I think the digital world has not only made things a little more convenient, it’s also made everyone a (supposed) expert.

The Experiment

While I was at home in Cincinnati last October, I came across a can of 16mm film that was marked with 7/29/96. Presumably August 29th. The sticker that was holding the negative together informed me that it was the original negative. Meaning, it's been processed and it's straight from the camera. I packed it with me on my trip back to Los Angeles.

It say in my closet for a few more months, until last week, when I was just farting around looking for my thesis project from my undergrad years. This roll re-surfaced. I took it to work with me.

I strung it up on my scanner and there were vague images I recall shooting. Very vague. I'm not even sure what I was doing except I saw images of my old apartment. This cool (but physically awful) place above a restaurant. I remember when it got hot, it smelled like garlic and fish. It brought back a lot of memories. Then...the tail end of the negative was this short film I was planning on finishing back in college. It was about a girl who leaves the city to go back to a small town. There it was. The footage. To me, I was certain this had fallen into the cracks of history. Or memory. It was even more odd, that this happened to a be a girl I'd blogged about last year. It was the project I'd abandoned because of...well, my terrible attitude. The lesson again...NEVER START ANYTHING YOU DON'T FINISH.

So I scanned the fucking thing, and...20+ years later, I intend to finish it. Good or bad. It WILL be done. Just add music, and recruit my friend to do an accent...

...and THAT is the joy of shooting film. The re-discovery years later. The footage is grainy but sharp. I contend that if I'd shot with the technology in those days, this would indeed be lost forever. Now, let's be clear, it's not going to be "Gone With The Wind" and most likely people will think it's pretentious garbage. But its sentimental value means something. And being an experimental project is fun to keep the mind moving.

I recall getting a 16mm roll of film from Tony Scott many years ago (prior to his death). She wanted to archive his first movie. The little can of film held very brittle film from 1964.

This means a lot to filmmakers. And if you care about your craft, it should mean something to you too.

My Neck Hurts

My shoulders and neck hurt, I told the doctor.
She looked at the X-ray "well" she started "I see nothing broken, bent or out of the ordinary. There is a little wear in the discs but nothing for a guy your age."
"Fuck" I thought. All I heard was that this shit gets worse. "A guy my age" she says. "Well, something feels off" I insist.

"hmm...dunno what to tell you. Doesn't look like anything nerve related, that would be bad, it seems to be muscle related."

Yeah, but I stretch before working out and I stopped with the heavy weights. When I look at the heavy shit, I want to vomit.

"you take Advil or anything?" she inquired.
"yeah."
"does it help?"
"a little. For about 5 minutes."
"okay, I'm going to suggest you get a TENs machine (electrodes to attach to muscle to loosen up), a massage every once in a while, and acupuncture."

Basically, everything I wanted to do before this visit, sans the machine, which I knew nothing about.

"That sounds great." I thought to myself...getting prescribed a massage and acupuncture...niiiiiice.
 "I want to see you in three months."
I skipped out. Hell ya...massage, acupuncture and electric muscle shock therapy.
It's been a month. Have I done ANY of this...?
... no
I'm not sure if this is human nature, but a good thing, when prescribed, seems less fun.

Celebrities Irk Me

...I'm not sure why. I've been around a few now. So it goes without saying, they do have a sense of entitlement when you see them. The odd thing is, most will try their hardest NOT to come off as entitled. Which...yeah, I know they mean well, but you know, they're rich and shit.

I don't think I have a twinge of jealousy when it comes to their success. I would hate to be famous. I mean, I can't imagine being completely ignored for my asinine viewpoints, magnify it by 1 million and it'd be embarrassing to anyone I cared about. And that's another thing, I wouldn't be able to tell who likes me for my obnoxious self, or who's putting up with my shit because they want something. I think that's why famous people's entourage are irritating. Because they keep the normal people at bay. And their obnoxious star leech behavior means that they are more honest about their intentions than a person who sucks up to the star. Because they're from "back in the day."

Maybe it's just me though. My perception is fucked. I go in already wanting to hate celebrities, so naturally whatever they do already annoys me. Like they could be pleasantly writing letters to their sweetheart and I'd be like "lookit that asshole over there, thinkin' he's better than me. With his pencil and his paper and his muscular calves. Fuck that guy." All the while, he's just focused on his pretentious poetry to his girl.

Man...what a world.

Your Product

What many people will learn after making their own movies, is that now it has to go out into the world. The attitude that everyone wants you to feel is completely opposite of what you really feel like. For instance, you want to explain the hill you had to climb to get there. The truth is, no one gives a shit if you make a lousy movie. People are forgiving...absolutely. But there are those who will gut you, if not just for fun. It's an emotional juggling act within your self-respect and your self-esteem. The way to thwart a lot of these bad vibes is to remember the effort you put into your project. Most people aren't going to be honest with you either way. There are typical "safe" questions people ask, if they don't like your project. You sense them. Such as "how much did you spend on this?" And "who worked on your crew." None of this has anything to do with what they just saw. A simple "good job" is rough as well.

The ones who stick around and talk nuts and bolts aren't these people though. They are genuinely curious, because they ARE filmmakers. Sorry to say, for the majority of us old timers, it's hard not to talk shop about the process. Since it's harder and harder to shoot film. I think this relationship doesn't exist as prominent in the new digital world, since it's mostly discussing the behind the scenes that is more gossipy. The pain in the ass actress for example.

You should know that it is a privilege to have people take time in their lives to see your movie. I know a ton of people freak out about this whole process for good reason. You don't want to waste THEIR time. But you also have to stay true to you. You will short change your self if you don't and that extends to the people who watch it. Yes...the bigger you get, the worst it becomes not to read and believe your own press

Make your journey into the next level worth it, if only for your own sanity.

Bey & Breb Blobster

I didn't have a stroke. It's just funny to mispronounce things.

Beyonce’s Red Lobster shout out in her new song "Formation" cracks me up.

The gist of it is if you fuck her good, she’ll get you some chain restaurant seafood. I admit the biscuits are good. But with her dime, you think she’d be better suited for…say…Joe’s Crab Shack. Though I don’t recall them having biscuits.

I think it’s a pretty good message, regardless. You bang a thick woman good, she should pick up the tab every once in a while. In fact, this shout out gave a boost to Red Lobster’s sales. By some say 30%. It’s kind of weird…Red Lobster. To me, it’s always been trashy seafood. The last time I was there, was after a spec commercial spot I did with my friend Lauren. I suggested after the shoot, I take her wherever she wanted. She wanted Red Lobster. I missed out on the fucking part though. Man, she’s a cupcake. And the time before that was in Maryland with my (then) girlfriend. I met her grandparents there. Let me repeat that, we went to a Red Lobster IN Annapolis. The Chesapeake is about ten feet from where we were. Their specialty and what everyone recommends is the Maryland crab cakes. But, here we were at a Red Lobster (to be fair, her grandparents were from New Mexico, and I was fucking her, and she was picking up the tab, so…how prescient were we?).

I find it funny that the smallest most insignificant thing can be blown up to this proportion. I sincerely doubt we are this suggestible, but…maybe the proof doesn’t lie. I mean Oprah’s book club practically reset the illiteracy rate in fat bored housewives.

I did a very odd music video for Beyonce a few weeks ago. It is both a period piece and it takes place in Louisiana’s Mercedes Benz Super Dome. I’m not sure what it was for. Possibly to show during her tour? It had her Black Panther dance squad. They’re really pretty. An anthology thing maybe. The video look like they spent a ton of cash though. Which…I’m sure is going to be viral somewhere. You know, I did this crazy project for Rhianna too, last year some time. The video was BRUTAL. She’s bloody and naked up on some Los Angeles hill overlooking the city. Man, dames get really nutty.

Trump 'Aint Gonna Win, Ya' Big Dummy

Trump isn’t going to win the presidency. I’m not going to go “Dead Zone” on you, but you’re fucking retarded if you even think he has a chance. He’s an extreme dude, and we don’t deal with wild crazy extreme dudes here in ‘Morica. AT least, not in plain sight (fuck you bankers). The people who pushed him thus far are doing it to fuck with you. They know he’s not going to win either. Maybe that old lady with a Trump hat and t-shirt at the Lamplighter diner in the outskirts of Los Angeles might, because she’s old and weird, and most likely hates Muslims & Mexicans will vote for him. But if you believe America to be a sensible world, he’s not going to win. Oh…you don’t? Why? Because the love you have for socialist ideals doesn’t translate to your cynicism for capitalism and nationalism?

Old people in general don’t decide the election because they’re more or less on their way out anyway. A hearty “good luck” wave to us assholes and away they go to their version of heaven.

By the way, if you sincerely believe Trump has a chance to win, might I add, the same belief you have in “scared White Americans” who want a massive change means you’ve lost faith in the Prez you put into office. Think about it, the only reason to believe an extremist like Trump gets into office is because you believe some Americans see the current President as too much the OTHER WAY. That’s hypocritical. And childish. I know I’m childish, but the people who believe their way is always right is worst than what they hate. If there was an inkling that your opinion is the answer, you’d wouldn’t be sitting in a one bedroom apartment in Van Nuys venting about…oh wait…

Hate Groups

You know, the term "hate group" gets a bad label towards a specific group of White folk. Seldom do you call a Black, Mexican, Muslim, Indian, Chinese group that's bent on violence or..."hate" a "hate group." As if White folk cornered the market on hate.

Gangs are hate groups. Bikers are hate groups. They hate justice. So maybe we should come up with a different term? Or not. Funny how you can't call a certain group "thugs." Though it didn't mean all that much when it was applied to mobsters, it seems calling anyone with tats who live in ghettos a "thug" is insensitive. To...tough guys with tats living in the ghetto? Worried about their feelings? Fuck it, I wouldn't call anyone that to their face. It'd be more funny to call them the opposite. "Bunnies" for instance. "Disapproving Bunnies" instead of "hate group."

We can all go for that.

Ronda Rousey, A Lesson In Losing

Rousey admitted recently that she thought of suicide after her loss to Holly Holm. Having been undefeated, she became the darling of UFC fighting. Everywhere you turned, her name would pop up. She wasn't necessarily the people's champ, but she had such a horrific upbringing of first losing her pop to suicide then growing up with a speech impediment.

There are pressures to professional competitors I don't think we'd ever understand. Even on a small scale, I remember getting pissed off whenever we'd lose in little league baseball. I can't imagine what a bazillion people watch us lose, how I'd react.

There's been a lot put upon her, and for the most part...I think it's self-inflicted. I don't watch girls punching each other. Seems...unnatural. It's cool that others dig it, but it's not for me. I think if you're identity is to be this bad ass chick puncher and a badder asser chick takes the throne, it's hard to brush it off. But, in perspective, and if you learn about Holly Holm, it's not like she lost to a jabroni. Holm seems like such a down to Earth person. Quiet and respectful to the sport she chose. From what I've heard anyway. A preacher's daughter who fought her way out of the southwest. She took the craft seriously. I don't recall her being in movies, t.v. or commercials prior to this fight. Never even heard of her name. She would be the Rocky to Rousey's Apollo Creed. But even they became friends. And a legacy was born.

It's an emotional thing to lose. I mean, it REALLY sucks. You live with it over and over. You replay where you went wrong until you want to throw up. That is the risk you have when you enter sports. Most people don't compete for this reason. They don't want to be haunted.

The flip side is that it is a humbling experience in life to own up to failure. Failure isn't a life time curse, it's a moment. And I hope she can shake off the feeling that she some how ruined her life over one moment.

The World Will Right Itself

I don’t think karma works the way people always wish it on people. I think it just means that the world rights itself. Most people use it for revenge or something.

Some “Inside Baseball” for those who want to know about the politics of post production:

“Deadpool” made an insane amount of money for a Valentine’s Day weekend, considering it was rated “R.” This character belongs in the Marvel world which is owned by Disney. The production cost was about  $60 million. A fraction of all those “Avenger” movies (I believe “Age of Ultron” was tallied at about $250 million…c’mon $50 mil went to Tony Stark himself…Robert Downey). At this writing they’re about $140 mil domestic. That beat out the oh so popular “Fifty Shades of Gray” from last year. Congratulations. Barf (on both movies). I doubt “Deadpool” will do that well overseas, since it’s a lot of American humor and we annoy the shit out of people, but who knows, since we also ram our tastes down the throats of every country. Don’t know the censor policies in Indonesia, but I doubt hooker humor and Wham! is going to ring true to third world country sensibility. Unless their children are still making the t-shirts for ironic stores.

Disney washed their hands of anything of this type of violence and sex. To my surprise I notice they’d sold it to 20^th Century Fox. Dumb mistake, but whatever. The Mouse will prevail in the end, but you have to wonder if heads roll when things like that happen. The other side of it is the finish on the movie. I notice a bunch of guys at my company had did the finish on it. To my knowledge we’d lost the Marvel account since the colorist who did ALL Marvel’s movies left in a huff. I’m sure when The Avengers movies did well, he had a self satisfied look on his face. He REALLY hated that my original company had overtaken his and he left peeved to a different post facility, dragging Marvel with him. That’s what happens a lot. Production don’t really care that much about company, they will go with talent, if the director or cinematographer has a relationship with them. I can’t tell you if this guy is seething due to the success of “Deadpool” being a Marvel title and the Mouse dropping it. But I know, if he’s a professional, it’s not like he’s doing cartwheels.

There is an unspoken sense between these guys that are driven by ego. Honestly, I don’t think the success of one film has anything to do with where they finish the movie. But I get a sense of satisfaction if I‘m involved at all. I get the superstitious part, or what facility will cater to them. The satisfaction is that the people really liked it. No matter what.

My theory of “Deadpool” is that…well as I was filing into the theater, I noticed Dads bringing their sons to the theater. Hip, young dads who were tagging along with their sons. Didn’t see many fathers and daughters. Then it occurred to me…this is that movie where divorced/deadbeat dad can look like a rock star. The one shred of crumb they can throw their kid that their mom can’t. Or won’t. I didn’t see mother and sons. If we’re to talk demographics, moms aren’t trying to buy love. Or prove how cool they are. Unless they’re miserable substance abusers. Mothers don’t need to do what weekend dad has to. Because of our fractured society, it probably was a no-brainer this movie did well, with say…men in their 30’s?

Back to my point, Disney left money on the table, as did anyone involved. I’m pretty sure they’ll stand by their moral code of not dealing with “R” rated movies aren’t their thing (as they use to pass this off to that shadow Touchstone Pictures). It’s not like Disney didn’t already clean up with THAT space movie (psst…”Star Wars”). The world rights itself. I’ve always contended, Hollywood makes hits to cover the misses (and the missus). If you were to account all of them, it’s more than likely most major studios seem to break even (if box office v. budget is to be believed). Karma.

The Natalie Cole Snub

Natalie Cole was jammed into the memorial that last about 1 minute 30 seconds. A weird tribute, considering she was nominated for 21 Grammys and won 9.

Look, I hate this moment in award shows in general, but if you're going to have Lady Gaga do a tribute to David Bowie (nominated 10 won 1), the least you could do was to bust out her discography. Maybe she didn't influence as many people. I'm not sure what the criteria may be.

Yeah, being the daughter of someone famous and riding on those coat tails may not have helped her, it's still a ruthless business. I happen to like her smooth music so I'll honor her here.

"The Damned Don't Cry" (1950)

Directed by Vincent Sherman (who was alive to DVD commentary)
Joan Crawford is a total BAD ASS!

So, with a title like that, you better buckle up.

Look…if another actress in this generation says there aren’t great roles for women, I’m going to slap them with this DVD.

Joan Crawford plays the highly charged character of Ethel Whitehead…or is it Lorna Forbes or is it…shit, she doesn’t even know. And that’s the badass bitch that is her character. As a young married woman living in the shadows and (most likely) fumes of awful oil derricks, through tragedy, she kicks the dirt from her heels and heads off to live the life she should’ve lived decades ago.

She stumbles on a escort service, which…practically overnight changes this wholesome Texas sweet girl, into a gum chomping, chain smoking vamp. She befriends a very friendly account (Kent Smith), who happens to work in the same building and in her newly minted salesman dosey-doe wrangles him into bookkeeping with the local restaurant. Seeing that he is capable…and honest…the man is then recruited to take on other accounts. But these aren’t ordinary accounts, which launches them both into extraordinary circumstances.

Based on the backstory of Virginia Hill…the mob moll of Ben “Bugsy” Siegel this movie moves FAST. The rat-ta-tat-tat dialogue will have you exhilarated with adrenaline (remarkable as this was made in the 50’s) and the subject matter could be today. A woman who just wanted the world. In fact there is a moment where she convinces the accountant to take the gig because…she warps the truth so much, YOU are convinced. Ethics are for chumps and we morally are grossed out by money but climb over each other to get it. Wow.

This is a massive accomplishment for Joan Crawford, considering the part was originally made to start off with a 16 year old. Here Crawford is in her 40’s and can switch to suit any man. Her blood runs ice cold when it needs to be. And, despite her fading looks, she still pulls off the fact that men still want her. Sure, there were probably younger and prettier, but there is something about her chameleon changes that ramp her into every man’s fantasy AND nightmare.

Is she a tramp, opportunist, poisonous snake? All could apply. But you get such a joy at her moxie. You even start to hate yourself for cheering for her. She’s as bad as they come…and she never even holds a gun. How’s that for girl power?

The Death Of Vanity

I remember seeing her in "Action Jackson." She already seemed like the cocaine 80's took a toll.

You know something...fuck Prince. That piece of shit child rapist. His music isn't that great. Only no one says so because you'd be a jerk. He's worse than Cosby. The fact that she reached out for help, with Prince and his millions or whatever couldn't step it up to keep alive what he created. Or destroyed. It's a sad thing. Especially when he will most likely come out and give a statement at his own *cough* *laugh* sadness. Lemme guess, maybe something like losing a daughter?

Call it self-pity if you want, Denise Katrina Matthews is no longer suffering. What a shit-show this entertainment business can be.

Movies Are Subjective

Movies are so subjective. And sometimes personal. A person could’ve given me reasons why “Boyhood” sucked monster balls, but to me it spoke volumes of the times I grew up in. When I was younger, I’d get heated over these things, and argue vehemently the virtues of a movie, to deaf audience. As I’m much older now, I realize you can’t convince people what is a good movie or not. This is typical of how you probably approach your own projects as well.

I LOVE the saying “you aren’t as bad as people say you are, or as good.” It’s a lot harder when you have to make a living at it. A lot of armchair film critics have never made a film and don’t know the mechanics, logistics or politics that go behind the productions. So many people watch TMZ or Entertainment Tonight and think that is what is really going on. Not really. It’s a sense of what they want you to see is going on. Do you honestly believe TMZ gets news on entertainment they don’t release? They spend all that money on security and they just happen to be walking through the airport at the time paparazzi are there? Get real. It is a complete public relations move. IF celebrities wanted to travel incognito, it’s not impossible. To stay relevant, you do have to be talked about.

Oh, about movies. I can’t argue with what the public likes. I can tell you what I liked or didn’t like, but the audience is NEVER wrong. IF they like a garbage movie, it’s already beaten the odds. They pay money to watch these movies. Sometimes I’m a paying customers, other times I’m on the sidelines carrying the clipboard. My criticisms of movies stem from….fond memories of watching old titles OR really disappointed at what counts for hearty movies in theaters. As I do get older, I do tend to bend more towards the better diet. In all facets of my life.

I wouldn’t anyone to think I’m a complete basher of comic book movies. Shit, my IMDB credits me with a LOT of good ones, but mostly disasters. I get to see the logistics of both. Everyone tries hard to please the public. Again, when I was younger, my attitude was more “Fuck you dumb people, I’m going to make a movie and you’re going to like it” Nowadays, I’d be happy to even finish a feature. It’s fucking hard, man.

So I don’t fault any movie for actually being completed. Anyone who’s been around or for movies…it’s a massive grind. Most people should try to make a movie and get their shit handed to them before they talk smack about it. I was watching “@Midnight” with Chris Hardwicke recently, and they have a segment where they show YouTube videos of housewives, teachers, PSA and whatever put a music video together. They mock these people for the very amateurish awful video they slapped together over a day. There is not much thought put it into it, other than “gee, making something clever is pretty easy” UNTIL they show it to the world. Then it’s mocked on some Comedy Central late night t.v. I asked my friend if the people who are ridiculed understand how embarrassing it is to be publicly shamed. Truth is, they may understand it is corny and terrible or whatever…but it still stings. I personally think they should take pride in the crap they make (despite the good natured people who “like” your video, because of obligation). The “pros” in Hollywood shit on it means you at least caught some attention. Yes, you are bending truth to suit your ego, BUT…more positive spin is that you are keeping your dull mind busy…at the very least. If you think about it…Hollywood doesn’t even get that far.

The Dinner Table

A lot of American families I grew up with, they had dinner all together. My family rarely ate together. My sisters couldn’t stand the sight of me, and my parents worked late. So I ate what I could. Mostly candy, chips and other garbage I could get my hands on. The only reason I’m not over 300 lbs. is because I spent most of my mornings to afternoon playing around the neighborhood. I don’t ever recall staying at home very long. It wasn’t worth it, since there was nothing like video games or internet to distract me. It did, however, challenge my imagination. And we formed many an art and crafts group. I realize quick, the reason to get kids to do anything is have them belong in a group. People need purpose. When you are first able to talk to when you’re on practically at Death’s door, having purpose keeps you alive.

The American dinner table fascinated me. I went to my college girlfriend’s house one holiday, and we woke up and had breakfast…together. I mentioned how I never ate meals with the family together. She found that odd. Well, it’s not the complete truth, my parents would have parties, to which everyone would eat at the banquet room at my Dad’s restaurant. But she was forced to eat with her family. Daily. They had a schedule. Her mother was a homemaker, very proper lady…her smile was that gritted teeth East Coast Maryland grit. I can still hear her calm motherly voice. Her daughter shared that voice. The exasperated tone of seasonal life. She had an icy cold stare, seen through blue green eyes. Tired with the outside elements slowly chipping away at a pebble look. This is something passed onto my girlfriend (at the time). The look is very haunting. I pity the children she has now, if they ever get into any trouble. But I do wonder, if that family dinner tradition continued with her. I know for a lot of families, that dynamic is long dead and gone. And I miss looking at it. In a Norman Rockwell way. For the brief moment of civility, parents and kids sat together and attempted to have civility. The “attempt” is what was important. I think as an artist, having tune yourself to normalcy is a fantastic thing. Too often, I think we try to break a mold of some kind. Perceived mold anyway. The pretentious guy often believes they need the sting of despair in order to create.

There is nothing wrong in seeing that dinner table. I sincerely believe, Americans miss it.

"Olive Kitteridge" (2014)

You could watch this series along with “Terms Of Endearment” and get a really good dose of dysfunctional family dynamics. And learn something about growing old. And that we’re not all that different. You can learn a lot from tough ol’ broads. Or you can resent them. The one thing we know is, they will outlive their supposed time on Earth.

The titular character is played pitch perfect by Frances McDormand. Already an old soul when we first seen her in the Coen Brothers movies, she is the epitome of hard as rock stubborn New Englander. Educated by life experiences, her harsh reality is that tragedy has shaped her into a flawed diamond. Indestructible in her set ways, she lives with regret and unknowing to her (but every clear to us) projects her resentment towards the people who actually love her. Unfortunately, in her path is her kind hearted husband Henry Kitteridge (Richard Jenkins), in a stunningly sympathetic and patient man who reaches out to help lost young girls, but does so with the distancing manner of a father. There appears a sexual predator is a foot, but that isn’t Henry’s nature. He is the town pharmacist who we can see may have had bigger dreams in life, but is content to fulfill his duties to the community. He’s seen first as a step rug, then a sounding board, but finally…a man. All the parts of which make up a marriage in a small town community dynamic. We could’ve/would’ve/should’ve is pushed so far into the backburner as to cause conflict. And the developments of our youth are shaped by the overwhelming need of parents to control. You will reap what you sow.

There wasn’t a false moment in this mini-series. It’s often painful, a lot of humor, bittersweet moments, tragedy and a lot of moments as I watched the outcome of their history turn to foreshadowed misery that I mutter “Damn…that sucks that happened.” Not out of pity, but that it is a universal storyline that we all get sickened by.

There are a lot of moments of grimness. In particular, the ease of resolution and mental issues. Even as late as my own generation, mental illness was seen as an embarrassment. People were considered spazzes if they were hyperactive. Or if their parent had drug addiction or drinking problems, they’d be ignored. The kids tend to shrug that off.

That’s the issue though. Cause life will give us obstacles in the form of relatives or spawn. We are owed nothing, but seem to carry on this notion we’re suppose to be living someone else’s life. We suppress our needs, if we genuinely care about people. Lost are the times when we hold back, now is the time when people often give up too soon. Is Olive’s decision to power through life unhappy the right course for you? Probably not. But it’s something to be admired.

This mini-series is amazing.

"Deadpool" (2016)

This is the pixie stix of movies. It hits you in the dome and then you wondered why you spazzed out so hard. I couldn’t recite one joke from this mess. It’s not that memorable, because he’s so clever and so funny and so charming with the references. Right? RIGHT?! This, of course, will pass for today’s theater experience. Throw shit to the wall and hope they like something. Watching this was equivalent of someone grabbing you by the scruff of your neck and dragging you through a teenagers bedroom circa 1990-1996. Like when you went over to your friend’s house, and their little brother couldn’t stop annoying you with their toys.
 

THE single biggest issue I had with this movie is that there are way too many people cracking wise. Deadpool, his bartender friend, his girlfriend, the blind Black woman he inexplicably takes as a roommate…for what reason, please tell me (so he can crack more jokes?). This is one big skit and violence in between. There are so many questions to his psyche that despite Ryan Reynold’s supposed charm and self-effacing humor…it doesn’t cut to the darkness. Yes, there are glimpses of true pain and anguish, but it’s quickly diffused with THAT humor. Either you get it or you don’t. And it’s hard to imagine any of the teenagers in the theater I saw it in understand why the 20 something hot prostitute girlfriend knows the value of a Voltron ring. She’s really not that cool. She’s a whore, but doesn’t look like one, act like one, feel like one. I see that years earlier, this would’ve been a great role for someone like Gina Gershon. In this movie, this girl doesn’t have that broken busted look NO MATTER how much pain in life she’s endured. Number one rule of storytelling, show DON’T tell. And there’s a TON of tell.

Backstory upon history, upon explanation. Yes, it breaks rules. But it also doesn’t know when to use the rules they set up. They break the fourth wall to talk to the audience. Then make references to how cheap this movie was made (only TWO X-Men characters). Is this funny? Yes and no. Most people don’t give a fuck about what’s outside those walls. Only that you’re entertaining us. But that is the point. They are DYING for you to like them. I don’t think I’ve seen a movie try so hard for you to like them. And for the most part, I do. But…it’s exhausting to be around this attention deficit flick. For the most part, are the stakes really that high? Not really. Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool voluntarily accepts treatment for cancer that will kill him. He’s cured. Except now he’s deformed. His biggest issue of revenge is ridiculously superficial. Which they had to explain away, in terms of how people find each other…looks being the sole purpose. Even though nothing in the history would explain Wilson and his girlfriend’s attraction was due to looks. They are kindred spirits by way of…pop culture. So similar, they might as well be brother and sister. That’s broken rule number two: there is nothing unique about her. She is the proverbial hooker with a heart of gold. Or is she? Who knows? She doesn’t seem to be in that much of a hurry to leave the business (as she’s seen later as a cocktail waitress at a strip club). By the way, has anyone asked what she’s doing at a bar which is frequented by regulars and would just nonchalantly let in a hooker trying to score johns?

The villain is…so…plain. What is his super power? Oh, one that he gave himself. And it overlaps with others. And is vague. He doesn’t feel pain? Okey-doke, so that sword that is jammed through his shoulder and carotid wouldn’t…you know, stop his heart? I guess not. Since, in this world, you’d need to feel pain to bleed out. And he heals slower than others, so say a hubcap to the face, or being thrown through vehicles wouldn’t, like…break every fucking bone in his body? Nope, not in this universe. Also, the teenager with the cool ass name and the ability to (apparently) nuke the world…how is it that it didn’t incinerate Gina Carano’s clothes off. Obvious as the big metal Russian guy was sparring with her, she had nip slip. If you’re going to go all the way, start with that.

Look, don’t ask too many questions and you’ll have fun. For me, it did what it needed to do. But I don’t think this movie will hold up to the hype it’s getting a few months from now. It’s a lackluster ice cream with a TON of whip cream. It’ll make you fat, and you’ll regret it down the road however, it’s a good matinee watch, and worth debating with Marvel nerds.

Feature Script Writing

To take up my time, now that football is over, I decided to get back into writing feature script. A great idea came into my head, which these days is pretty hard, since something is messing with my brains lately. So I've been writing a comedy. Actually I got two ideas. One I got sidetracked because I wrote myself into a corner. It's easy to get distracted if you watch a good movie. I have to finish that one. The point is to keep writing no matter what. Stephen J. Cannell, the writer of those 80's t.v. shows like "The Fall Guy" gave that great piece of advice. Whatever you start, just finish it. Good or bad, just get it done. No one has to read it, but at least you will feel a sense of accomplishment.

I'm always impressed by my friends who can write a 200 page script. No one in this business will read it. It's either the person doesn't understand the business, is full of themselves, or doesn't know format. The coverage on that will start with "this fucking asshole made me miss a bonfire in Malibu..."

Keep it under 100 pages if you can. BUT...nevertheless, I have no idea how someone can write that much. Sure I can vomit here on a blog. Daily. Have some chuckles. But I'm not exactly pulling ideas out of thin air. Most of it is my own outrage about life. The other is news stories I read or movie reviews. Writing screenplays is technique. Most great ones can break the mold. Reading Quentin Tarantino scripts are fun. Shane Black scripts are fun. The rest are depressing to get through. Hell, I sent a five page short to a friend to get an opinion on. Took them a week. For five pages. A WEEK! I don't as that is a favor. Pay someone to read it, you are hurting a lot of people. Mentally. It's good if you can find a voice. Much easier on people to get the tone of you as a person. I've abandoned a lot of decent ideas, because I've lost interest. That's a bad way to go.

The point is, this town has a lot of people who claim to be "idea people." They start out with "Hey, I got this great idea for a movie." My reaction is "okay, write it the fuck down and see how it goes." The grind is actually committing it to paper (or in this case typing). It's fucking hard, man. The best is if you can be lost in that world you start writing. The quicker you commit it to something solid, the more strong the idea actually is. Getting a screenplay DONE is 75% more than anyone in this town actually does. Doing it within the format completes the other 25%. You can get movies made from this. I've notice too many don't get this far.

Dan Fielding: Assistant D.A.

There's an episode of "Night Court" that has Dan, the oversexed prosecutor, that gets put in a hospital after a night of rambunctious filthy birthday sex with Sheila, a reoccurring dominatrix character.
He ends up in a hospital where he is looked on by his co-workers and...some would say friend.

Dan doesn't really learn much from the episode. In fact, we learn more about him. During the scene where Judge Harry Stone, the young goofball appointed to the bench by accident, tells Dan to slow him down. And he pushes Dan to share with him what has been bothering him. Dan snaps at him. And Harry leaves in a huff. Dan is self-destructive, why bother?

Well, Dan slips into a coma. To which harsh words hang in the air. And regret, of course. When Dan comes to from the coma, he goes back to his ways, concealing his pain through jokes. He is determined to live the way he lived. Harry is fed up. Until Dan finally relents...he is 40 years old. He doesn't expect to live further than 50. And the one line that echoes in my mind "I HAVE no life, Harry, I have a lifestyle!"

This shook me. Because many in this town can share this sentiment. We pretend we have a life, but we dance around without a connection with anyone. We have a lifestyle. A real talk with people. With people who care whether we live or die. Dan, we'd assume, was living the free-spirited bachelor life, but instead has continued to live in abject misery, convinced the many beautiful women he's banged don't care for him. He pushes away before it gets to that point. Hollywood is very much like that. And the people who come here, have no real connection. Because we are gypsies. We bounce from people to people. In a sad attempt to prove people care, they test them with bad behavior. No one will stick around that long to deal with bad behavior. Not even Mother Teresa.

Dan is a fun loving character full of spirit and it doesn't appear anything bothers him, when in reality he's miserably lonely. Desperately seeking that one woman who does want to be an adult with him. This cycle is near impossible to crack. We're selfish people by nature, more so if the world offers you things. I think that's why if you work in Hollywood, it's certain you will learn in a harsh term, people's value. In this town, many people will remind you how little that is. Try to be around the people who value you for being you. And don't confuse that "you" for what they think you are but what you really are: human.

Serial & Adnan Sayed

After listening to the first season of “Serial” a while back, listening to Adnan speak, you believe him to be innocent. He’s “normal” sounding. Sort of, an open book. This is the Adnan I’m sure the people who support him also hear. The details of the murder of his girlfriend are now on record and he’s been spending 16 years (so far) in prison on a life sentence.

There’s been an influx of shows and other podcasts touting his innocence and how this has been a travesty of justice simply because he happens to be Muslim (the crime occurred before 9/11). That is pretty short sighted to the same people who more than likely believe O.J. Simpson murdered his wife. Much like the conclusions we draw from the tidbits of information we hear from broad strokes, it’s hard to hang one and allow the other to roam.

Not so. Forget the trial or the accusations or the cry of injustice…I’m simply saying…we’ve been burned in the past of people who HAVE committed crimes and aren’t doing time. Adnan is a very charming person. It’s quite possible that he could also be in denial he committed such a heinous crime, since he would never see himself as a monster. This immediate feeling that BECAUSE he sounds like a gentlemen he must be one. I recall a story of a triple homicide murderer (Timothy Hennis) who was tried for murder and acquitted, since he didn’t look or sound the part of a brutal monster, only to be tried again in military court and found guilty due to DNA results (yes, this same evidence has exonerated people as well). He’s been convicted TWICE to death row, and he lived 21 years of freedom in between.

Even nowadays, as dumb armchair sleuths, we’re all trying to figure out the a-ha moment to whichever side you believe in most. The ones who want Adnan acquitted look at only the evidence to free him. The ones that one him to stay in prison only look at the opposite. It’s only human nature to want to stick with your cause and use information to support why. To reason away your opinion.

None of us have the insight the jurors did in these trials. I get sicken at Los Angeles juries because we are so media saturated savvy arrogant jerks. We believe we know more than lawyers, judges, and everyone else. The jury attempts to make a point (all black jury in Simpson trial) vs. all white jury in Adnan’s case. Also, I think we act like this choices we make shouldn’t be a factor in the outcome. In one episode, the show describes the unscrupulous nature of his defense attorney. She was described as a crook with nefarious agenda. She’s long since been disbarred and has died. Because of discovery of poor counsel, typically one gets a new trial. But it’s sometimes this decision that is the difference between freedom and incarceration. Keep in mind most public defenses that try murder cases don’t have the resources to properly prepare their client. Adnan at least had some income to choose. The research for a proper attorney (because one wasn’t appointed to him) was also a mistake. Should he fry for it? No. But one could argue the attempt to sidestep his crime by hiring whom he thought gave him the best chance. Could you argue O.J. Simpson was acquitted due to expensive counseling. Most likely. Can you imagine the outcome if he were publicly defended?

I’m not saying I believe Adnan is innocent or guilty. Only that he WAS found guilty by citizens. Incidentally, this statement of being judged by your peers is a farce. I doubt either Adnan nor O.J. ever encountered people in either jury pool. Despite the closest we could ever be to that, Simpson was betting they thought they were his peers, Adnan praying they weren’t.

What I’m saying is that the people who rely either way on the justice system in America is fooling themselves. The notion that it’s not perfect but it’s the best in the world, is funny. The new justice system is more a “Let’s Make A Deal” show than true common sense. And because we’ve been fooled too often on the surface, it favors the criminals if they have money, screws them if they don’t.

Do I have a better solution? Yes, but it’s not the American way. You appoint 12 people like referees in sports. They are rotated every week, but will hear a set number of cases per month. They would be drawn from a pool of students who’ve just graduated from college, near your community. You get school credit and partial reimbursement for loans. It settles both issues we have now with debt and jury duty and some unemployment. There are options then to hear more cases. The incentive to want to work the in the system rather than against it.

But, this system would not work, simply because…we’re capitalist. Why pay the people to do something if they are required by law to do for free? Well, because we get people who are reluctant to be there and thus, make poor decisions that ruin lives.

Valentine's Day

Heya chumps, it's almost that time again. For those with mates to dread the ability to surprise them, and those without to feel left out. I was at the grocery store this morning and ran into the middle aged check out lady:
"You got plans this weekend?"
"Oh yeah, it's Valentine's Day"
"Got a sweetheart?"
"Ah...no." Who says "sweetheart" anymore. She seemed disappointed for me.
"ah out looking...that's fine too."
 You sure, lady?
backpedaling "You know, my ungodly hours, not many people can deal with that" knowing full well, if someone gave a shit about you, they'd wake up at 3 AM to cook you breakfast.

"Have a good one" she says as I hit the brick with my yogurt and Swanson's dinner for one.

I'm not writing to make you pity me, in fact...I like that it requires zero work for me this weekend. Only to be reminded here and there that I get no cards. And that a poor schlub out there has to double down. For instance, my co-worker accepted weekend work. He silently celebrated being away from the wife on this day of love. 'Aint love grand?