"Just One Of The Guys" (1985)

Oh man, there is NO way Joyce Hyser is 58 years old, as of this writing...

Let’s be honest, it was near impossible for girls in the 1980’s who weren’t peroxide blonde with big tits and crystal blue eyes to make it in Hollywood. Quite honestly, it’s near impossible to name one now that bucked that trend. I’ll give you a prepubescent Alyssa Milano but they were as rare as diamonds. I have a theory about Jews and dating WASPy shiksas, but that is a different story.

It took a Jewish woman director (Lisa Gottlieb) to see the undeniable sex appeal of Joyce Hyser who plays Terry in this flick, to put someone of not that cookie cutter in a film. And BOY…gotta’ tell you, when I was a pre-teen in the 1980’s it was great getting a look at her tits. They are as perfect as God made them. AND, it wasn’t like she’s had any surgery in life to get her back to factory either. In her 50’s she is married and is doing great non-profit work (hopefully breast awareness shit) and has aged but not much. Consider all those blue-eyed blondes in this day and age.

Anyway, between Joyce and Susannah Hoffs, I get my fix of Jewish hotties who oozed sex. Joyce is a sex kitten who is constantly being hit on. For great reason, she is a knockout. Long hair or short hair, she exudes innocence. She is turned down for a writing internship to the local major newspaper as a teacher felt her paper lacked. To Terry, she felt slighted because a girl couldn’t write as well as a boy. To which she poses as a teenage boy at a rival school to try her chances again at that writing contest. The paper again once receives less than glowing reviews, which is when she sets out to write a story about herself posing as a teenage boy.

The hijinks of this movie rests SOLELY on Joyce’s sweet fun nature. The issue with this movie isn’t the concept or acting…it’s that this was a made-for-t.v. sitcom idea that went into feature length. Aside from the nudity, it is a typical high school story when everyone during this time was clamoring for John Hughes darkness.

I LOVE this movie because it represents the 1980’s. Big hair, big collars and bullies that look like they’re 40 years old. This movie is a special place in lore since it did eventually get legs recently. And boy does it have legs. A great fun cast of Billy Jacoby who plays the brother whom we’ve seen a million times, but think he’s Jason Hervey. A real young Sherilyn Fenn plays a girl who falls for guy-Terry, and William Zabka plays the blond bully…which…by now…extends the “Karate Kid” universe.

You know what makes this movie so watchable?...the innocence of that era. Nerds are truly nerds, and teen love has no logic. You could make light of same sex relationships and you could almost hear the groan of the people of that era.

The biggest shame is that Joyce Hyser didn’t have the career, say…Natalie Portman had. It seems that in that time, showing your tits may’ve stalled her career. Where every part she audition for most likely brought up the fact that she would have to show her tits. A difficult lesson to learn. But years later, I personally think she got the last laugh. She is memorialized as the teen girl with the perfect body. AND, in real life she dated Bruce Springsteen. Not a bad way to go.

Also the high school they attend is called Sturges-Wilder....as in Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder. Bad ass!

And Susanna Hoffs...because..that's why...