I Got Feature Dream, Coach!

Will I ever direct a feature film?

Well, thanks for asking, Guy Who Never Asked.

I’m not sure. I’m so enamored with the nuance of acting, I forget it sometimes needs to be coherent to the story. A solid performance means they are believable but also that the acting serves the story.  I’ve seen a bad performance that was perfectly fine for a good story. Their bad acting couldn’t destroy it. Think anything Kevin Smith.

So far, I’ve been in short film limbo. Though, I think short film takes a lot more craft than feature. Long form seems to require stamina and patience. Whilst short requires thrift of images. Pacing exists in both. Though, I’m still tentative on my own internal clock, in terms of storytelling. I believe there is an internal clock that exists in all of us that is universal to how a story unfolds. Sure, there are studies/and methods that illustrate how a stories rhythm becomes familiar to us. But why and how? The dissection of story in the form of a hero’s journey or story structure is cool. Though, I prefer to just…try to feel the story. We know if it works or not. Now in short form…it’s pretty apparent when things really don’t work. Or feel forced. In long form, when parts of your story drag…it DRAAAAAGS! And you can whittle it away. Which is how I get back to being a short story teller.Maybe it’s the difference between a knock-knock joke and, a drawn out tale. Think Steven Wright vs. Richard Pryor.

It’s odd to me…the way people can write so much in a screenplay, but say so little. I get wall banged by the first sign of a poor story thread that it derails me. Some people don’t have that filter (which you’re really not suppose to have). We’re suppose to be able to vomit it all onto paper and get back to it when we have time to edit. But…it’s a hard thing to do. Keep someone’s attention for so long. I tend to go for low brow racism. Or just walking away. Yes…walking away…far far away.

The point being, I know the market calls for a feature. Long form you can sell to Netflix or Hulu or whatever. Shorts...don't sell. Unless your Mom is buying. And even then. My own Mom has never watched anything I've done. Nor has she ever asked. Because to her, it's still just a hobby. She isn't wrong, just that she's not completely right.

From what I've seen these days, a feature doesn't require many set pieces anymore. The ones that have garnered a lot of attention have been really...one idea. For instance, in "Cop Car" it's about kids who steal a cop car, but it ends up being a thug who stole it. It's a bad example, since the movie blows, but it's a good example since it is literally an idea. Got the asshole who directed it a gig on the new Spiderman movie. By the way, fuck Spiderman. How many times can they reboot that piece of shit? I take that back, how many times will we go see it?

I take it back, maybe I shouldn't ever make a feature movie. Ever.