I recall reading this book as a kid. There was a baby named Farley Drexel, but due to the fact that he hated his own named, renamed himself "Fudge." As a kid reading it, boy did I laugh. Laughed my fucking dumb brain off whilst most likely eating paste. This is what kids do.
This kid is a retard. And we loved him for it.
In Judy Blume's book, the kid eats a turtle. Swallows it whole. Which would kill any normal kid. Not so for retarded kid. This kid ends up shitting it out. Of course reading this as a child, I understood this to be how science works. Much like when someone drinks a gallon of water, by stabbing him, the water will siphon out in like a garden fountain. These are universal truths to retarded kids. And I fell for it. Like a retard.
I make fun of kids today for the shit they watch. You know what though, at least it's a purple dinosaur dancing and singing and not some retarded kid getting into mischief. I mean, with the dinosaur, at least he stayed in one place. ALSO, the Barney was also landlocked. Your impression of him was based solely on the edges of the set frame. Meanwhile, Fudge is all over the neighborhood causing trouble.
And this was okay. Cause he was a kid. I was a kid. I realized there really was a retarded kid in my neighborhood. I forget the guy's name. But his mom would constantly give him excuses for retarded behavior. I was really insensitive at the time (if you can believe that). This kid reminded me of Fudge. He'd hide behind a large piece of plywood while another kid would throw shruiken throwing stars at him. It'd embed itself into the wood. And he'd come around it laughing his face off. I'd sit there, even at 9 years old, just confused. Or jealous. I mean, the joy it must have to have sharp metal being thrown at you, when the world looks like a fucking Barney nightmare.
Matt was his name! Matt Sasser, I think. Wow. Maybe I'm not really retarded, but autistic. Like that fucking retard Rain Man.
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