Elizabeth Pena died at 55 years old due to alcoholism. It's strange how little we see of people or how we perceive them when they're around us. A lot of people, probably her immediate family saw this self-destruction. People probably think I'm lucid and sharp. But I'm anything but that. I wake up in the morning so ill sometimes and disoriented, I have to drag myself to the toilet where I try not to faint because I my lower gut hurts like a mofo. This is AFTER having stopped drinking for close to 7 months now. Her symptoms are very clearly similar to my own. Most nurses in the medical field would brush me off (as they have) that they wished internet didn't exist for certain hypochondriacs. Because they believe if they read something they immediately believe they have it. I don't think I fall under that category. I didn't even know I was really sick until these moments. In fact, I refuse to believe it. But most think I'm too fit to suffer from these things. That my face hasn't puffed up to pumpkin size (because it's actually my real head size). I guess in their world, if they're wrong, the least that can happen is that I'd be dead, and they'd shrug and say "my bad."
Her situation scares the fuck out of me. Drinking booze will eventually become a lifeline. Some will begin to not function without it. Their bodies will reject it. I'm telling you...I didn't even know I had an issue UNTIL I stopped. In fact, I felt so fit when I was drinking. Off the sauce, I feel like shit. How is this possible. Because it's poison. Poison you will have to live for if you don't quit. Living to 55 is not the way to go. Imagine all the fun and love you're leaving on the table.
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